38

While we sat together under the apple tree and enjoyed the silence, the warm sun slowly disappeared behind the gathering clouds. The wind picked up, making my hair dance in front of my face. I glanced at Damien, who was watching me with a smile as I tried to get my black mane under control, which elicited a small grin from me too, even though the situation between us was anything but silly.

"Are you cold?" he asked me in a deep voice, looking lovingly into my eyes. "No it's okay." I turned my gaze up into the branches of the tree that were being blown back and forth by the wind.

The first drops fell on the leaves above me, then landed gently on my hair, bringing that pleasant smell that was always in the air when the rain hit the forest. "We should go." Damien stood up while it slowly started to pour more and more. "I agree with you," I took his hand, which he gave me to help me stand up.

"That's really practical," I told him about my opinion of his convertible, while the rain was pouring down on us, completely soaking my dress and hair. "Planning is not my thing. I love the spontaneity!" A deep laugh escaped his throat, then he turned to the sunroof and looked really strained as he yanked on it.

This situation with him suddenly gave me a strange feeling of connection that had nothing to do with sapphire. We just made a memory that only included the two of us. No Camilla, no Aleks, no Calvin was here. Only the two of us were standing on the meadow under the rain and, as it looked at the moment, we wouldn't be able to leave here anytime soon. He was a werewolf, the next king at that, and clearly superior to others in many ways, but making a convertible rainproof was definitely not one of them.

"Would you please," he cocked his head to the other side of the car, asking for my help. I wiped the water from my face and watched him do the same.

Putting my hands on the roof, instead of looking at what he was doing, I looked at his beautiful face, which he kept rubbing dry with the soaked sleeve of his sweater while the rain let his hair fall over his face. "So?" he smiled at me. I widened my eyes in embarrassment. He caught me staring. Actually, I was always self-confident, but that made me really uncomfortable. I quickly looked down at his hands and wrapped my fingers around the sunroof as he did.

"On 3. 1...2...3!" Everyone on our side tried to lift it, but it stuck, wouldn't move an inch, even after the fifth try. "We should just take shelter and wait." I shouted at him. The rain was now hitting the ground so loudly that it was pounding in my head. "What are you waiting for? That the car is about to be flooded?" He looked at me questioningly. "Then do it yourself." I let go and turned my back on him.

Elegant, that's how I wanted to appear in front of him as I took a few steps towards the forest, but I looked anything but graceful. The dress hung down on me like a wet sack, the black mane had seen better days, and when I turned to look at him I fell straight into the mud that covered my whole dress. I had no chance at all to stop or slow down the fall with my aching shoulder. Apparently quite friends of my prince, because he came running to me laughing.

"I'll help you. Get up.", he held out his hand to me, couldn't help his stupid grin. Angry and embarrassed, I slapped his hand away and got up on my own. He was standing close to me now, watching the rain pick the dirt off me and wash it off me. I couldn't avoid his warm gaze, much as I wanted to at that moment, he looked too beautiful.

With the forest behind him, his wet tight sweater, brown eyes and black hair, he looked like a painting I would have loved to spend my life studying. Every little thing about him suddenly seemed more important to me than everything around me, and so my hand, curious about the feel of his skin, found its way to his cheek. His confused look mirrored my insides. I didn't know what was going on inside me either. Was it the fault of Saphir, even if it was me suddenly wanting to be close to him, or was it the connection? I could not think clearly.

Without giving me a glimpse of his thoughts, he pulled me closer and put his hand on mine, which slowly started to tingle on his cheek. The intense looks, the rustling of the leaves, the pounding rain, a moment that made me forget everything. My racing heart didn't ache anymore, my inner turmoil was piece by piece like a jigsaw puzzle, and even Saphir and I were one at that moment. one with him. With the man who just snatched me from all the chaos. Gave me a moment of hope for a life without emotional splits, and like it was the most normal thing in the world, my lips found his.

As we kissed passionately, I didn't give a damn if the feelings I felt were real or fake. Whether they popped up suddenly because of the connection, or whether it really touched my heart. The only thing I was sure of in that beautiful moment was that I never wanted to stop feeling it against my lips.

"What have you done with me?!"

" Finally triggered what would have happened in his presence anyway without my help! Just give yourself to him, make us his!"

"You got me into trouble! Don't you understand that I don't know him either, like he me, and that I don't want all that?!"

"He's OUR mate! Stop pushing him away! Allow the connection!"

I angrily grabbed dry clothes from the closet, changed quickly, and yelled at myself like I was schizophrenic. That's how it felt now. I'd let him put me under his spell, worst of all, I'd started laying my lips on his. Or should I rather say Saphir, who had robbed me of my own will.

When we met our lips in the meadow this afternoon, I couldn't think straight. As if I had been driven out of myself and someone else was behind the wheel, taking the lead. There was no denying the passion he aroused in me. Just as little as the goosebumps and the tingling that was released by his touch. But all this was only the veil of a bitter lie. Feigned happiness that only worked on the surface. There was no depth in the feelings we only felt because of the moon goddess apparently thinking we were made for each other.

At least we were silent for the entire drive home, when it was still slightly drizzling, but I hardly noticed it. I was too busy with my thoughts, which were slowly becoming more and more confusing. I no longer recognized myself.

It had been an hour since he let me out of the car in the yard and politely thanked me for the nice day, and ever since I got back to my room alone I've been arguing up and down with that crazy she-wolf in my head. It sapped all my strength to fight this battle against her, because fighting a part of yourself was very different from defeating an enemy. I would eventually destroy myself. Either my human part, or sapphire, because slowly the idea of being able to make us both happy faded away. Our ideas of love and happiness were too different, and yet, to her satisfaction, I had to stay close to Damien, because I didn't want to languish miserably on what I would do without my mate's closeness.

Regretfully, I sat down on the cold floor in front of my bed. Just sat there and stared at the door which thankfully no one had knocked on since I got back.

My thoughts took me back to the day I put on my red silk dress. It wasn't long ago, but it felt like an eternity. I stroked my lips gently with my fingertips, feeling again the pain Calvin had slapped me with that time.

I had killed him, conquered my own nightmare, and even though he was gone, he still brought me pain. I shook off thoughts of him in disgust. He deserved it, I was sure of it, and I shouldn't have a guilty conscience and dare to instill pity in me, because he didn't deserve that at all.

Exhausted, I turned my head to the window, faced the darkness that took more and more space from the sky. Another day that came to an end and brought no clarity. Neither about my feelings, nor about my future.

The burden on my shoulders became unbearable. How should all this continue if I didn't finally know who I am or what I want. Ever since I was brought here, there hasn't been a clear line. Before, I was just a normal wolf who had a thug for a friend and fought daily for my pride and honor. But I only fought against him alone. Otherwise there was nothing. By now I've fought so many battles that I haven't had the slightest chance of coming out victorious.

A soft knock pulled me out of my thoughts and slowly the door opened a crack. "Sorry. I wanted to ask if I should change the bandage or if you would like something to eat." Aiden stood in the doorway and gave me a questioning look. He tucked his blond hair behind his ear with one hand and then came toward me with a first-aid kit. "Where's Damien?" I asked him. Actually, I didn't want to know where he was, but somehow it burned my soul. "He's already asleep.", Aiden said, who meanwhile had turned on the light and knelt down next to me to pull my top down a little and take off the bandage, which was still a bit wet from the rain.

"The wound looks good. Be proud of your genes. A few days and there will be nothing left." He grinned at me in delight, but I avoided his gaze. Just waiting for him to put the new bandage on and be gone. "Is everything else okay with you?" His hand rested on my shoulder as he waited for my reply.

Only now, as Damien slowly faded from my mind and all the chaos with him, did I realize that I hadn't seen Emma since yesterday. "Yes. Thanks. Can you tell me where Emma is?" His gaze changed and he avoided mine immediately after the question. "She has her own room," he quickly blurted out as he got up and headed for the door. One last wistful look from him, a frown from me, and I was alone again with one more worry on my mind, Emma.

This morning, I wasn't awakened by bright rays of the sun. It was the sounds of thunder that woke me up and snatched me from my dreams.

I rubbed my eyes sleepily and sat up slowly, only to stagger over to the window afterwards. Nature seemed to enjoy the still ongoing rain, just looked beautiful. The dark green trees surrounding the castle surrounded by a light mist that cast a gray cast.

Only guards stood in the yard, chatting and gathering around the closed gate. It was probably still too early and too wet for the stalls.

My gaze flew over to the convertible, which to my astonishment finally had a closed roof. A small smile formed on my lips, briefly warming my heart, but then I shook the memory of yesterday out of my head and quickly disappeared into the bathroom to get ready for the thunderstorm.

I carefully lowered my body into the hot water, careful not to submerge the bandage. I was finally able to relax completely for a short time, surrendering to the warmth that enveloped every little spot of my skin. With my eyes closed, I listened to the splashing of the water and only noticed the heat, which made small beads of sweat dance on my forehead.

For years I could have lay here without moving, without thinking about this cruel world, and yet, no matter how hard I tried to stop it, the memories of the last few weeks kept catching up with me.

The human's blue eyes, my mate's soft lips and the last breath of my nightmare. A rollercoaster of emotions that took over my thoughts so much that I didn't even notice the knock on the door anymore. Only when Aiden suddenly stood in the bathroom door and looked at my naked body in the clear water was I transported to the here and now. I jumped up screaming and grabbed the large towel that luckily was right next to the tub. The blonde covered his face with his hands and banged his head on the doorframe in his rush to get away.

"Have you ever heard of knocking?!" I snapped and pulled the towel tightly around me. He had his back to me and suddenly burst out laughing, and to my horror Saphir started giggling too. "I'm sorry. I wanted to pick you up for breakfast. I'll wait for you outside the door... and thank you." I heard the stupid grin in his words.

As soon as he closed the door, I took a deep breath to recover from the shock. I wasn't ashamed of my body, but I still didn't want to present myself naked, especially not in front of him.

Shaking my head, I padded to the closet, making sure beforehand that the door was properly closed. I didn't know if he really accidentally burst in, but I didn't want to assume that he was intentional.

I picked out a cute white blouse and black jeans. Not every day did a dress need to envelop my body, and the more I hid of myself under the long clothes, the less attention Damien would give me, and wasn't it exactly what I wanted.

When the door opened, Aiden was still grinning in the hallway. He looked at me in amusement and another laugh escaped his lips. "I hope you enjoyed the show! It was the first and last." I playfully threw at him as I elegantly walked past him in the direction of the dining room.

The long corridor suddenly seemed a lot darker to me. When the sun wasn't shining through the small windows, it was more like a haunted house than a castle. The high red walls shimmered almost black, and the paintings could hardly be seen at all in this semi-darkness.

Only Aiden's footsteps and mine echoed through the castle. I felt as if we were completely alone here, but as soon as we entered the dining room, Nero sat in his usual place. It amazed me that he looked exactly the same every day. Only the color of his suit changed from day to day. Maybe that was just how it was when I was king. You had to represent the pack, so every day you dressed like you were going to the ball.

"A wonderful good morning Melody.", he got up smiling and hugged me happily. I didn't think about why he was always pretending. You could see the hate and bitterness in his eyes that made him what he was, but he still wore his good mood mask at every meeting. "Sit down, you two. The others will be here soon."

He sat down on the chair again and the blonde and I took a seat next to one. I glanced sideways at Aiden, who caught me right away and immediately grinned cheekily, which also put a smile on my face. I liked his relaxed manner. That trait was worth its weight in gold. Most wolves were far too dogged, far too tight-lipped.

The clacking of her shoes made my smile go away. Annoyed, I looked at Camilla, who entered the room in a stunning red dress. Even Nero's jaw dropped briefly before he hugged her just as happily as he did me. Damien came up shortly after her and just gave me a quick nod. My heart raced at the sight of him and for a moment I was angry at not getting more attention from him, but that was exactly what I wanted. No attention, no attention, and yet it bothered me. Saphir was also growling continuously since he sat down next to Camilla at the table and didn't exchange a word with me.

When Nero finally gave us permission to start eating, I focused on that and tried to block out everything else.

"What are you up to today? Unfortunately, the weather doesn't allow for many activities.", Nero interrupted the uncomfortable silence. Where previously only the cutlery could be heard softly on the plates, his dark voice now echoed through the room. "We wanted to have a cozy day in bed." Camilla grinned provocatively at me. She was wrong if she thought I would get upset about it. It bothered me a bit. I feel used, kind of replaceable, like I'm worthless, and when my eyes fell on Damien, he confirmed my feelings by not paying any attention to me, just picking at his food absentmindedly, while still looking beautiful .

I was already inscrutable in my behavior towards him, pushing him away from me, but putting my lips on his a moment later, but he was even worse. Try as I might, I really couldn't understand what was going on inside him. A closed book, and even if you had the strength to open it, only blank pages would fan out at you. A beautiful shell in which the void found its place.

Just a little provocation, no big deal. I didn't do it to draw his attention to me, but just to realize what I was doing with him, or what my role was here in the first place, among all the new faces in my life who were so hard to assess were. "Well, since Aiden saw me naked this morning, we could go swimming together right away. The rain won't bother us, will it?" I winked sweetly at the blonde next to me, my hand on his as he choked on his food and sipped his mug, wide-eyed.

The loud banging of his fist on the table immediately made me jump, and not only me, Camilla too clutched her chest in shock, while Aiden blushed and Nero looked at his son admonishingly. "We need to talk!" A menacing growl erupted from deep in his throat, his gaze fixed on Aiden, and I suddenly realized I'd made a mistake in challenging him.

Ashamed, I watched the two men leave the room in silence, feeling loathsome. I used the only one here who made me smile today to prove something to myself that I shouldn't really care about. "You did a great job." Camilla clapped her hands annoyed with her poisonous gaze directed at me, and Nero also looked at me as if I were completely unwanted here.

I just sat there, looking at my plate, while the two of them talked briefly and then left the room together.

"Do you have any idea what-" Notched. I could do without their stupid sayings now. My bad conscience was big enough, and to make matters worse, an image unexpectedly appeared to me that made me hold my breath.

"What are you doing here?" I got up in disbelief and walked towards Emma, whose face was decorated with a black eye. "I have to earn my place here, said Nero." Her face looked paler than usual. She looked more fragile than ever, which sent a deep ache to my heart. "Who was that?" I stared at her eye and gently took her hand in mine while unbridled anger swelled inside me. "My boss in the kitchen. Melody, I have to clear the table quickly now, otherwise-." There was a tremble in her voice as she hastily pulled her hand away from me and rushed to the table. I promised her a better life, even spoke of freedom at her brother's side, and now, completely thrown back, she didn't trust me anymore. Who could blame her.

As she left the room with her head down and her hands full of dishes, I grabbed a few things as well and followed her. This so-called chef would get something to listen to. If I couldn't please Saphir, had put Aiden in a bad spot, and kept destroying myself at the same time, she was the only one I could really save where there was at least a shred of hope.

Outside in the hallway, I ran around to the right following Emma's scent and came to a small door around the corner. I pushed it open without knocking and found myself in the middle of a large kitchen in which several men and women were pacing back and forth. All people who only served as a means to an end. Emma was standing at the far left of a sink, and just as I set the things in my hand down on the surface next to me and started towards her, a chubby bald guy grabbed my blouse. "What do you want here?" he asked, frowning, examining my attire. He apparently thought I was human, a new worker, because the next thing he did was put an apron in my hands.

If that was the only way to get to Emma, so be it. I changed my apron under his observation and then, ignoring him again, ran to Emma, who was staring at me in confusion. "What are you doing?" she whispered, looking around carefully to see if anyone was overhearing us. "I want to know from you who of them is responsible for your eye. Then I'll go with you to Nero immediately."

After my sentence, I had to swallow and wondered whether Nero would still be listening to me after breakfast today. "No please, I'm in more trouble Melody. Let it go. I'm fine.", she smiled, but I saw the terrible suffering in her blue eyes, even if she tried to hide it, she couldn't fool me . Nevertheless, I complied with her request. "Okay. I won't speak to the guy. But I'll talk to Nero anyway."

I stood there for a while watching her wash the dirty dishes and had to shake my head at it. How cruel was this war. Those who suffered were not the cause, but rather women and children who, since the beginning of the war, had hardly any chance of a happy life. A sympathetic ache ran through my stomach and took my breath away for a moment, but I quickly calmed down as Emma smiled bravely at me. I would take her to her brother. That thought let me relax for a moment.