39

After giving Emma an encouraging smile, I threw my apron at the bald man's head and exited the kitchen excitedly.

I looked questioningly around the main aisle. I was glad to know where my room was, how am I supposed to find Nero here with all the locked doors. "Maybe just let your instincts run their course.", Saphir snapped at me annoyed and I immediately put my nose up to smell his smell, but to my disappointment it only smelled like rain, there was nothing else there.

Frustrated, I searched every corner of the castle and got lost a few times. It was really huge and one hallway was the same as the next, like I was always in the same one, pacing up and down. After quite a while, during which I was probably going around in circles cursing, I invented my very own system to find my way through this labyrinth. The paintings.

They were the only thing that differed from aisle to aisle, so I memorized an image in each hallway and gradually got some of my orientation back.

While I was looking at a painting of an elderly gentleman drinking a glass of red wine, I suddenly heard a dark voice coming from the next door. But it wasn't Nero's voice, it was Damien's, and the sound that made my heart skip a beat was immediately followed by his scent. I fought the need and curiosity that made me put my hand on the doorknob, paralyzed, and pulled it back quickly, but before I could leave, the door swung open and brown eyes stared at me confused.

Dressed only in boxer shorts, he stood there, took my breath away with his appearance and made my heart race. Small beads of sweat collected on his bare, muscular chest, which caught my eye and made me freeze for a moment until Camilla's dirty giggling in the background freed me from her. Sitting on the stunningly beautiful four-poster bed, she arched an eyebrow in triumph as she eyed me arrogantly. Due to Damien's presence, I only noticed her in passing, but she also looked sweaty, which struck me as strange because, unlike him, she was fully dressed. Not the dress from breakfast, but leggings and a tank top. Even in that boring-looking outfit, she looked amazing with her wild brown curls, and unintentionally,

"What are you doing here?" Damien drew my attention back completely, but I couldn't answer him. Far too sexy, his wet black hair fell across his face as he leaned loosely against the door frame. I quickly took a step backwards, wanting to avoid its intoxicating scent that enveloped me like the sweetest perfume. " Mhhhhhhh." Sapphire purred, bringing me back to reality. "I... well..." I stuttered, shaking myself briefly to ward off his attraction, "I'm looking for Nero."

His gaze was indifferent, which hurt me deep down, even if I didn't want to admit it. Once again I was caught up in myself, completely torn between two extremes. Saphir kept bringing images to my mind. From my lips to his, from our hands that would touch carefully, wanting to feel everything about the other, but at the same time she laughed at the thought of ripping off Camilla's head and destroying her to have our mate all to ourselves.

Unlike her, my sensations were more like an open sea, full of wild waves that in his presence were washing me farther and farther from the shore, and I would sink if I gave in to my desires. So I swam with full force against the high waves, fighting to escape this whirlpool. But kicking around in these dark waters robbed me of my last strength, and it was only a matter of time before I would have to let myself drift, because at some point my strength to defend myself would also dwindle.

"He's upstairs. There are stairs at the back. You'll recognize the door immediately.", he pointed past me with his finger, but I didn't notice his hand, just stared into his beautiful eyes, which immediately gave me a feeling who gave security when his looked back at me. "Thanks!" I blurted out quickly, moving toward the stairs, forcing myself with each step not to turn, not to lose myself in his sight again, and the farther I got from him, the closer I got the beach that let the waves ebb behind me.

I ran up the long stairs as fast as I could, towards Nero, or rather away from Damien, away from the desire, away from the longing for closeness and security. Away from the bond that chained me to him, which, like an addict, kept driving me close to him.

When I got to the top, I had to catch my breath. I leaned against the cool wall and breathed deeply, trying to change the image of his beauty. Looked for flaws to make him unattractive to me. But he was perfect. Made for me. A drug that will destroy me at the slightest sign of weakness, because he will never love me, and that was exactly what I wanted and needed in life more than anything.

Patient, selfless, kind love that would not be pretended, not born out of compulsion, but out of genuine feelings, true affection and mutual trust. He didn't deserve me. Had another and was a coward hiding behind impenetrable walls.

I took a last deep breath and walked on, broken, trying to shake off my thoughts and concentrating on what was to come.

I really had to agree with Damien about one thing. You couldn't miss the door. It was taller than the others and was at the end of the hallway, which, like the floor below, had high ceilings and dark red walls.

Before I even had a chance to knock, it opened and Nero politely invited me in.

Large windows adorned with white processes drew my attention first, followed by the beautiful dark brown desk located in the center back of the room. There were small shelves everywhere, filled with books and small china figurines that I couldn't make out clearly in the dim light.

"Sit down." He put a small white armchair in front of his table for me and I thankfully took a seat. His appearance changed behind the huge desk. He really did look like a king now, in the elegant suit, sitting at the large table. "So?" he asked me while crossing his arms over his chest. A dismissive gesture that intimidated me even more than I already was. I played with my fingers nervously and then looked deep into his eyes. "Well, I wanted to talk about Emma again," I started, but he held up his hand as if he didn't want to hear my next words, which annoyed me quite a bit. "I thought we had everything settled. Your devotion in exchange for her freedom." He ran his hand through his black hair and leaned forward a little more, as if anticipating my reaction. "But the deal wasn't about her being held like a slave again." I tried not to let it show that he scared me a little, but my trembling voice had already given me away. He turned in his chair and looked out the window, which overlooked the rain falling to the ground. "Melody, we're in the middle of a war, and just because there hasn't been an attack for a while doesn't mean it's over. How do you think it would look if the humans, or my own people, saw that let her strut around like she's one of us?", he explained calmly without taking his eyes off the window. "I'm the king, gotta be a role model. I've got enough enemies under me just waiting to overthrow me. These are hard times and not everything is fair, but that's the way the world is. Would you like these for Emma improve, then cut ties with Damien, stand by his side and I can retire with peace of mind."

He looked at me intently for a moment, then got up and walked to a small table under the window, on which a bottle of whiskey and several glasses found their place. I was totally confused, how am I supposed to do anything to my advantage with his aura making me nervous. A headache that sapphire triggered in me made me close my eyes for a moment. She kept screaming that I should agree, but I tried to block her out, which was harder than usual for me because of her louder and louder howling. "Are you alright?" asked Nero, who had now sat down in front of me again and sipped at his glass while I stared at him with a pained face. I closed my eyes one last time and took a deep breath.

"He does have Camilla. What role would I play? Why would I even take a seat at his side?" Curious about his answer, I leaned forward a little. To my advantage, Saphir finally shut up. She was just as excited as I was to see what the king had in mind for me at the prince's side.

Nero smiled mildly, fingered his half-empty glass, then lifted his head to look at me. "Camilla is a naïve wolf who's only by his side to take advantage of it. They've known each other since they were little, used to be best friends. After years of not finding his mate, Damien jumped at the chance and took his place side but she's not good for him. She has no leadership skills, no sense of fairness. He has no strength in her. But you, you can steer Damien in the right direction, make him a king. The bond between you will grow make him stronger, just like you. Please believe me, once you let the connection go, Camilla will no longer be an issue." He was beaming from ear to ear

I slumped back in the chair thoughtfully. Actually, I had no choice but to agree to all the madness, to give up my desire for true love, because Emma's life and Alek's happiness were more important to me than my idea of a real relationship. I would never know if Damien would really love me, but at least he would want me and protect me, treat me well. I could convince him to stop keeping humans as slaves. Maybe at his side I would even have the opportunity to end this war.

"I will do it."

***

"I wish you only the best!"

I happily took the little one in my arms and hugged her one last time while Aiden waited to take her to the edge of a camp that I knew all too well and that appeared in my dreams every night. "Thank you Melody, I can't thank you enough," she cried into my black sweater, but this time it was tears of joy that almost made me cry too.

Aiden took her hand, gave me a short nod and together they walked along the long bridge. Of course not without Emma turning to me several times and beaming all over her face. Seeing her like this reassured me that I had done the right thing. No matter what followed now, no matter how my life would go on, her smile had burned itself deeper into my heart than the hate and desperation that had taken hold of me for so long could ever.

I stood alone under the big gate, watched them happily as they got smaller and smaller, and mentally said goodbye to her forever. For a brief moment, I was perfectly happy. I closed my eyes and drew a deep breath into my lungs, imagining Aleks how glad he would be to have his sister with him again. My heart ached, but it was a good pain that left me longing for love, yet still brought a smile to my face.

"What did you do?" Camilla snapped me out of my thoughts. She suddenly stood next to me, looked confused after the two, who were hardly recognizable, and then looked back at me. "Are you serious about making a deal with Nero?" I just rolled my eyes and then looked ahead again. She laughed and then walked over to a stall full of jewelry, where she picked up several necklaces and looked closely. My eyes first fell on her back, then thoughtfully upwards. Dark clouds still covered the entire sky, but at least the rain had stopped, if not for very long.

Curious about what was laughing from her side, I slowly walked over to her and stood right next to her, then joined her in examining a few pieces of jewelry that didn't interest me at all. "What just made you laugh?" I asked without even looking at her, still examining the merchandise of this dealer. "If you think Nero would keep his promises, you're wrong Melody. I know I'm not your favorite person, but not everyone you fight is your enemy, and not everyone who promises what you hear want is your ally."

Now I looked over at her confused, without understanding what she wanted to tell me. After all, I had seen Nero keep his end of the bargain with my own eyes, so why was she telling me such nonsense. "She doesn't want to lose Damien to you! Don't you notice anything anymore?!"

There was a good chance Saphir was right, and Camilla was just trying to manipulate me. Convince myself I made a mistake, so I take back my decision. Somehow I could understand her, even envied her a bit. She really fell in love with Damien, known him her whole life. There was no need for a connection between them, and this thought, suddenly felt heavy in my stomach, ate itself deep into my consciousness.

Gasping for air, I braced myself on the stand, trying to clear the chaos that was falling over me again. Everything in me resisted my decision, at least everything human. As my heart pounded painfully, my stomach clenched uncomfortably. I was hoping not to be torn apart once I made a decision for or against Damien. But my body didn't give my mind the right to make that decision on its own, so my broken heart cried out for true love while my hands started shaking and long legs could barely hold me up. "What's the matter with you?" Camilla looked at me worried and although I never expected this of her, she put an arm around my back and helped me walk over to the stairs, to sit me down "I'll get you a glass of water."

I didn't know what was happening to me, but it felt awful. Maybe I was just really realizing that now it would be my end of the bargain, whereby a part of me would belong to him, tying myself to him forever. In addition to a bite, you also had to sleep with your mate to completely shut down the connection.

My sudden heartbeat made me jump at the thought of having sex with him. I was about to choke, that's what it felt like. Eyes wide, I clutched my chest and tried to calm down. Tried to convince my body that everything would be fine. A renewed struggle between soul and body, which scared me to death here on the stairs.

"Here, drink this." Camilla held out a glass of water out of breath. She must have run. Small beads of sweat lay on her forehead and her chest trembled from the rapid breathing. "Thanks," I croaked, taking a long gulp. The water pulled the mucus in my throat down with it. It chilled me, gave me some control back. Still shaking, I fell back onto a step and carefully set the glass down next to me. "Well, if you feel better then, I'll go again." Camilla sounded as confused as she looked and I briefly considered asking her to stay, but I had no right to do so. Not after I would take the great love from her.

"No sympathy! She never had a right to him anyway.", Saphir growled, but she didn't understand it. For wolves there was only connection and ownership, no real feelings.

After I felt a little better and the trembling subsided, I ran back to the gate and looked into the dense forest, briefly imagined Alek's blue eyes how bright they would be today and then slowly made my way to the dining room, in that I was already expecting.