veinte-dos

So I walk into the cabin and just let the door slam. And even as I turn to Zaret, he throws something at me. I reach for it automatically and to my surprise I catch it. I would never have believed that I was still able to do this. In fact, I feel like I'm in chains. In chains that Zaret has braided and has attached to me again and again over the years. And now - with this day - he has put a lock on it. One that only he has the keys to. And the really shocking thing is that I didn't realize it. I really thought there was a way out. And there is, but only through him. Only Zaret can make or break my path. And right now he won't let me go. Not after he knows who my customers are.

But instead of dealing with it, I look at the round object in my hand. It's an apple. And so I just knit my brows in confusion and look at Zaret. "What am I supposed to do with that?"

He tilts his head slightly and gestures with his hand that I should sit down on my mattress. "Well, I would eat it, but if you have something else in mind, go ahead." I pause for a moment and can only continue to look at him in amazement. Since when does he give me some of his food? Or maybe it's not his "I squint very briefly at the small table. I've put a board under it to hide my coins. I should probably see if he uses it. I wouldn't put it past him."

"Move your ass," he mutters, and I start. And now I realize that my quick glance at the hiding place has turned into a stare. To cover that somehow, I clear my throat and approach Zaret. And with every inch closer to him, I feel smaller. And above all, I feel more vulnerable than ever in my life. He held back today and yet he snatched so much from me that there is this hole in me again. It feeds on Zaret's actions. That's clear to me. But I can't do anything about it at the moment. Except that he doesn't let it get bigger. I can do that. And that means I should submit. At least for the time being.

When I stand in front of him and want to sit down on my mattress, he grabs my upper arm. "You should take off your dress." Immediately, my lower lip starts to tremble and I grip the apple even tighter. My knuckles stick out hard against my skin and I have to swallow hard to clear the lump in my throat go to sleep with it too." God, why am I sounding so low? I'm still looking down, but I need to know what Zaret's up to. Or at least recognize when he wants to hurt me again. So I look up and without doing anything of my own, I silently beg him to leave me alone. But he won't. That shows the smile on the lips. His whole demeanor screams that he enjoys my weakness. Naturally. After all, it was created by him.

But instead of heeding my words, he turns my back to him and brushes my hair to one side. "You don't want the dress to crumple, do you?" As he does so, he runs his fingertip along the hem of the upper back. Getting closer to the band that holds the dress tight to my body. And right now I'm sure that he wants sex. Starting tonight, I won't be able to say no to the question of sleeping together. But that's okay. As long as he lets go of Claire, I'll put up with it. "I'm not wearing underwear." I sound so weak again. God, Zaret really did a great job. I will never laugh at him again. The rebellion brings nothing. Comes back with double hardness only. That `s not worth it.

"It doesn't bother me," he whispers in my ear, and now I jerk away from him a little. I didn't even realize he was moving. He chuckles, enjoying my fear, and then tugs at the little ribbon. Immediately The fabric around my breasts loosens and I exhale with relief. I didn't even realize that the pressure on the chest tear wounds was uncomfortable. Until now. But I can't enjoy that either, when Zaret dives his fingers the fabric of the dress and slowly pulls it down. Over the shoulders, the bust and the waist. Only at the pelvis does he stop in the otherwise so fluid movement and I really cramp up. I would like to see what he is doing or planning, but why should I I can't stop him anyway.

And above all, I don't have to see anything to feel. He slides his hand forward from the side. Allows fingers to dip deeper and deeper under the dress so that it touches my pubic bone than it's at my lower abdomen. This forces Zaret to lean further forward and rests his chin on my shoulder. The stubble pricks me and yet I hold still. Only my shaky breathing clearly shows that I don't like what he's doing here.

"You're really tame," he whispers and now pushes the dress down a little further. The cold air settles on my skin, showing even more how little power I have over my own body. But I don't want to fight back. it's just sex My job. I shouldn't incur his anger for that. It's really not worth it.

Instead of answering, I just stare at the mattress in front of me. I don't want Zaret to hear from my voice how much he drives me to despair. But what I can't prevent is that I keep trembling. I'd like to say it's from the cold. But that would be a lie. Zaret also seems to be aware of this. He chuckles and bites my shoulder. Firmly. But this time I don't flinch. Only a whimper shows that I can feel his teeth. How these dig into my skin.

And while he slowly pulls away from me, the pain subsides, he rips my dress off with a jerk. I gasp and it's paradoxical, after all nudity is my business, yet I feel even more at Zaret's mercy now. So infinitely vulnerable. God, he has the power to just crush me. Right here. And I can't do anything. Can only watch as he wraps the chains tighter and tighter around me. Slams its claws into me and makes my heart stop.

"Sit down." Zaret sounds bored. As if he isn't satisfied that I'm not resisting at the moment. But I don't want to deal with that. Instead, I comply and breathe a sigh of relief when I'm finally off my feet have to carry all my burden. But instead of looking at him, I look at the apple in my hand. Should I perhaps take a bite of it? Then maybe I could delay what inevitably follows. Would Zaret let me eat before he took on am I missing?

And while I'm staring spellbound at the juicy green apple, Zaret places the tip of his index finger on my lower abdomen. Slowly climb higher. You can hardly feel the touch. I'd rather feel the finger's warmth than notice its calluses. Still, that's enough to make me hold my breath. But I don't look up. Don't want to see him. The greed in his eyes would probably drive me completely insane. But what I can't help but do is take my eyes off the apple and look at his hand. As this one moves higher and higher. Along my belly button, between the hollow of my ribs and then through my breasts. And when he's about halfway, Zaret falters. Only now seems to notice the white bandages covering the chest tear's wounds.

But my breather is too short, then he starts to talk: "Are you afraid, little Kalota?" He is close to me. His breath can be heard on my skin. It sneaks its way down my cheek and immediately overtakes me icy shiver. But now I must answer. That is obvious. Never Zaret would tolerate silence.

"Yes." And even that word shows my deep despair. But it's true. I fear him. Xerxes may think he's my personal nightmare. But that's not true. He crouches in front of me, hugging me with every touch deeper into subservience with every sentence.

"Good," he mutters and now slides his finger higher. Up to my neck and over my larynx. And as wrong as it is, I lift my head. Zaret doesn't even have to exert any strength for me to comply with his unspoken request. He wants to Look me in the eye. Wants to recognize my suffering in it and feed on it. And he should do that. It's obvious that today I no longer have the strength to defend myself against him.

And when our eyes meet, he leans forward slightly. There is no smile on his lips. But I don't need this to know how much he enjoys this situation. The shine of the eyes shows that more than clearly. "Now would you do anything just to please me?" A rhetorical question. We both know the answer. But he wants to hear it. but only here. Nevertheless, it is so incredibly difficult for me to concede to him. Something in me cramps. It hurts. It seems as if all my organs are seized with a spasm, and so I groan in pain before I answer can: "Yes, I would."

And now he's smiling. overbearing. I'd love to scratch that grin off his face, but even raising my hands seems way too tiring. And so I just look at him and pray to God that he quickly lets off steam on me. But instead of lunging at me, he flops down on the floor. "Now tell me everything that happened at the king's."

And as wrong as it is, all I can do is stare at him. I did not expect that. Really not at all. In fact, the disbelief is so great that I don't even feel anything like relief. Rather, I don't understand what Zaret is doing there. Is it a trick? Maybe he just wants to lull me to safety for a moment and then attack?

He seems to see my confusion and chuckles. "Kalota, I don't fuck prostitutes." Now he roughly grabs my chin and I grimace in pain at the fingers pressing down on my cheek with too much force. "You won't change that, and I don't care if you do you're dressed or not. It just leaves me cold." He looks at me in amusement, and wrong as it is, it stings my heart. After all, all he's saying right now is that he doesn't find me desirable. And so it is. Zaret doesn't find me attractive. I sit naked in front of him, he stimulated me, made me moan and he? He grins at me and doesn't seem remotely aroused. So I just grab the blanket and pull it over me. And not because of the cold, but because Zaret manages to make me ashamed. for my thoughts It hurts me that he spurns me. And that increases my self-loathing. But he's snatching my last weapon from me right now. I only have my body, which at least occasionally brings me goodwill. And even that smashed Zaret. With a few words, he took the last thing that could have saved me from him.