Chapter 17 The Engagement Is Off

"Are you busy? Can we talk?"

Liam opened the door of his flat wider to let Louis in.

"Of course." Liam was about to kiss Louis on the cheek but the boy stepped back and turned to walk towards the living room. Liam sighed and followed him. He motioned Louis to sit down.

"Want anything-"

"No, It's okay. It wouldn't take long."

Liam furrowed his eyebrows at Louis' seriousness. He sat beside the boy on the sofa. "Is there a problem with the engagement preparations? Did the planner contact you?"

He saw Louis stiffen. He felt nervous.

"The engagement is off, Liam."

He froze. A few seconds passed before he found his voice again. "W-what do you mean it's off?" He asked cautiously, fighting hard to keep his voice from cracking.

Louis breathed deeply, looked up and blinked before looking straight at his brown orbs. "My Dad is now talking to Uncle Geoff. Don't worry, my side will take all the blame. I know your father will definitely be crushed. I really can't ask for forgiveness for that. I can't tell you how sorry I am because I think I don't deserve forgivene-"

"Why?" Liam knew his expression was hard. He felt his face getting hot.

Louis avoided his gaze. "Because it's not right. Our reason to get married is not right."

Liam took a lungful of air. Somehow, he breathed in relief. At least it was not because Louis loves someone else or something along those lines. This situation still have hope.

"Look, Lou..." He kneeled on the floor in front of Louis to level their faces. "We've already talked about this, right? We agreed that this is the best solution. Besides, almost all the preparations are finished. We can do this. We get along with each other well, it wouldn't be so bad."

Louis smiled bitterly then shook his head. That's when Liam started to panic. "I.. I don't think it would work. I told you I can't say sorry but-"

"Then don't!" Liam held Louis' hands. "Don't apologize. Don't tell you're sorry. Let's go on with the engagement like planned. We're gonna be okay, Lou-"

"We won't!" Louis insisted. His cerulean eyes started to get teary. "This is not the best for the two of us. We won't be happy like this-"

Liam tightened his grip on Louis' hands. "We will be happy. Come on, Lou."

"Li, please. Don't make this hard-"

"Do you think that you can just back out like this?" The boy flinched at the anger in Liam's voice. "There are invitations already, the media had already been informed. We're as good as formally engaged. And you're gonna back out now? You can't do that. Do you know how serious this is for our families and to our reputations?" Liam was really panicking now. He'll use everything he knows; even intimidation just to stop Louis from breaking off the engagement.

"I know that. That's why I told you that my family will take all the responsibility. Don't worry. We're even willing to pay for moral damages if you sue us." There's no trace of sarcasm in Louis' voice; just genuine sincerity.

That made everything worse.

"Even so, that's not enough! What's happening? Why this all of a sudden? Aren't we okay? We get along so damn well, we're very comfortable with each other-"

"Even so, that's not enough." Louis repeated Liam's words. "It won't work out." Louis stood up and walked towards the door.

Liam just stayed there like a rock; dazed while kneeling in front of the sofa where Louis was seated earlier.

He was going to lose Louis.

Liam quickly stood up and ran after the boy before he got the chance to walk out of his flat.

"You can't leave me like this." Liam hissed as he grabbed Louis' arm.

Louis was pinned between the door and Liam's body before he knew it. Louis stared at him with wide eyes.

He trapped Louis' face in his palms, leaned down and did the first thing that came to his mind: he kissed him. Louis' hands went to his chest to push him away, but he gripped them to stop him. He would not let Louis push him away. Not from the kiss, not from his life.

Liam had never been this desperate in his whole life. He doesn't care anymore if he gets hurt... He doesn't care if at the end of this, he would find himself in misery.

He just wanted to keep Louis... wanted to be with him. He could not lose him. He can endure anything, just not that.

They're both gasping for air when the kiss ended.

"Don't leave me. I love you." Liam sounded pathetic, he knew, but he doesn't care. If he needs to beg, he'll do it- just to stop Louis from leaving him. He rested his forehead against Louis' and tightly closed his eyes. "I'm not kidding, I'm serious. I really love you."

Liam felt Louis' palm on his cheek. Then with a soft, yet sad voice, the smaller boy responded, "You don't have to go that far." Liam opened his eyes at that and met Louis' gaze. "I know you want to make your father happy-"

"That's not it!" Liam snarled through gritted teeth.

"You think you love me- you convinced yourself that you do. But subconsciously, Liam, it's all really because you wanted to-"

"Damn it! Don't treat me like one of your wretched clients and don't you dare use Psych 101 on me!" Liam spat. He grabbed Louis' shoulders. "I know what I'm feeling. This is not out of responsibility or because I want to make my Dad happy. I'm doing this for myself!"

Liam breathed deeply to calm himself. Louis seemed shocked by his anger so he willed himself to calm down before continuing and finally confessing. "I want to deny this at first. I want to think that this is just out of responsibility, out of love for Dad. I... I didn't want to fall in love. It's not in my plan. I saw how miserable my father was; I know it's because he loved my mother so much. I never wanted to get hurt that much but..." he trailed off then he sighed, ".. if it means losing you, if it means not being with you, Louis... then, I'd rather endure all those pains. If loving you would bring me hell later, so be it. I'll burn happily." He embraced Louis. "Even for just a little while, it's okay. I'll take all I can, just please... stay with me. Let's stay together as long as we possibly can.

Please..." He said weakly, "...don't leave me."

He had said it. He had said all the things that he's afraid to admit even to himself before... things that he swore he'd rather die first before saying. But he said them all, bared them all. Now, he was vulnerable and weak- no defenses to protect himself. Yet, he did not care.

He felt Louis move. His dainty hands went up to hug him and it made Liam's knees weak with relief.

The boy did not speak, did not confirm his feelings for him. But it was fine for Liam. He was not asking Louis to love him back; just to let him be with him is enough. Liam would not ask for anything more.

Liam lifted his face and kissed Louis' forehead, then he embraced Louis tightly again.