19

Charlie

What did I do to deserve this? Was I being dramatic? After I drive away leaving him on the street I felt so bad. I had to fight the urge to turn around and pick him back up. But he lied to me. He didn't tell me the truth, so he lied. That's how that works right? I don't know. I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to this mate shit. I just know what I am feeling. And what I'm feeling is hurt and betrayed.

How could Christina go on being such good friends with me knowing she took away such a valuable moment that Damon and I were to share? How could she go on with Trey knowing that she was a liar and a cheater? Was Damon a cheater too? He knew exactly what was going on and yet said nothing about it to his best friend either. What did I ever do to deserve such a cruel life from the moon goddess? All I wanted was to be happy and be in love and yet that's still too much to ask.

I don't know how much time had gone past, but I knew it would take Damon hours to get back if he was going to walk back to the castle. We were deep into town, it was almost an hour and a half drive back for me and I just left him there. Alone. Maybe he mind-linked someone to pick him up. Probably Trey. I wonder if he told him the truth then. Probably not.

I was starting to get a little too comfortable staying in the guest room. I had moved some things in once I got back. Who knows how long it's going to take for me to forgive him this time? Because this time wasn't an excuse I could just accept. This affected my relationship in the worst ways possible.

I heard the front door open and his scent hit my nose. I just buried myself deeper in the blankets I was under. I didn't need to worry about him walking in because I had already locked the door.

"Charlie, listen to me please."

"Charlie, just open the door and let's talk. I'm so sorry. Please hear me when I say that. I am so sorry."

No, I can't give in to him. No matter how hard he is trying I can't keep ignoring how I feel to benefit him. But there was a question burning in the back of my mind that I needed to be answered. I needed the truth and nothing but the truth. I slowly got up and went to the door and opened it. There he stood looking down at me, his eyes were bloodshot red, and so was the rest of his face, and he looked tired. So tired.

"Is she the reason why you didn't want to find me? That you didn't come looking for me?" He stayed silent which sort of gave me an answer but it wasn't enough.

"Tell me the truth, Damon. You knew about your and Tyler's situation at that time, right? So you knew your mate was out there, somewhere. But you didn't go looking. It was because of Christina?"

He moved his eyes away from mine and looked to the floor and he slowly nodded yes. I truly didn't think my heart could break any more than it already had. But I proved myself wrong.

"Charlie, I didn't think you'd pick me. And I couldn't handle going through another rejection again." His voice was so soft, he was hurting just as much as me. But this was because he is finally facing the consequences of his actions.

"How could you not tell your best friend?" I let out a soft sob, I was trying my best to hold it together but it wasn't working anymore.

"I'm not good Charlie. No matter how hard I try, I am not good. I keep making mistakes and messing up everyone's lives. I am a liar. And I am so sorry that I put you through that."

"If I had known, I wasn't such a coward. I would have run my way to you. If I had known you would be so wonderful I would have done a lot of things differently in my lifetime. I am so sorry." He let out a gentle sob and moved his hand to wipe his tears.

"I'm telling Trey today. It's long overdue. Then I am going to take a step back from Alpha duties for a while. I'm going to let Trey, my parents, and Layla handle all the problems with my brother. I think it's best if I step back for a while and get out of everyone's way."

My eyes immediately popped up.

"What do you mean? Like, leave?"

Did he think leaving was the best option for us right now? I wanted to yell at him to stay but I couldn't do it. If he wanted to go then he should.

"Yeah."

"For how long?" I tried to avoid eye contact with him, I didn't want him to think I was asking him to stay.

"I don't know. Until I feel like I am better."

Wow, Charlie, yet another man leaving you. This has to be some world record. At this point I just let the disappointment cover my face I had nothing to hide anymore. If he wanted to leave he could. If I wasn't enough for him to stay then I wasn't enough in general. Just as he was going to say something again, there was a knock at the door. Damon reluctantly pulled away and we to see who it was. I listened intensely and as soon as they spoke anger filled me. I left the room so fast and found I was in the living room and there she stood, I could tell she had been crying too.

"Charlie, please, can we talk?" Damon walked out of the room leaving the two of us. I didn't want to talk to anyone about anything.

"I don't want to."

"Please, just let me explain. Had I known-" She started but I was tired of hearing the same crap over and over again.

"You did know! You even told me Damon told you who I was the moment I showed up in the field! You knew this whole time and you kept it from me. You gave me advice and tips! I trusted you with my life!"

"You're nothing but a damn liar! And I hope for Trey's sake he finds out before it's too late. You were selfish and because you were so damn careless you have not only ruined your and Damon's lives but Trey and mine. I don't want to see you, or hear from you again."

"I am going to make it up to you I promise you. Charlie, you're my person. My best friend. I will make it up to you." She said in between her sobs.

But I just turned around and walked away leaving her there crying. Was I becoming a cruel heartless bitch? That's what it felt like. But if that's what I needed to do to protect myself then I'll do it.

I walked back down the hallway and I saw Damon packing his bags already. Maybe that wasn't such a bad idea. Leaving. Maybe it's something I needed to do myself. Maybe just go into town for a few months and live among the normal wolves for a while. Make other friendships that don't have anything to do with the crown and the drama from it. I grabbed everything that I could fit into two suitcases as quickly as I could. I changed my clothes, grabbed my keys and my phone and I was ready for all of this to be over. I was tired of being hurt.

"Where are you going?" Damon asked as he walked past the room.

"You're not the only one allowed to run away." I scoffed at him. I could tell that hurt him, but I didn't turn around to face him. I couldn't.

"I'm sorry this wasn't the love story you had hoped for. I'm sorry I wasn't the mate you prayed for."

"My mistake was just asking for a mate, rather than asking for a good one. The moon goddess thrives on specifics." I huffed to myself but I knew he heard me. He always heard me.

"Here, keep this. Just until you get on your feet. No strings attached." He walked in and put his black card on the dresser and then stepped out of the room again.

"Then when you're done. You can throw it, sell it, take all the money out, it doesn't matter. It's yours now."

I was hesitant at first, but I mean I needed to find some way to take care of myself while I was out there. Plus he said no strings attached. He waited for me to say something but I wasn't going to. I had said everything that I needed to say. All I wanted to do was leave this life and start my own.

"I'll see you around, Charlotte." Damon pushed himself off the wall and I could hear his suitcase rolling down the hall.

The farther he went the more tears fell down my face. But it wasn't until the front door closed that it all sank in. I let out the biggest cry I had ever experienced. He was gone. I was gone. Only time could fix this, but I don't know how much of it. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise. I can leave here and finally figure out who I am. And I don't know maybe life can turn around for

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