38

Is that how I used to jolog and they can’t believe it’s me? That I can change?

I sighed. As I said I know that I can get used to this. I will also get used to always being stared at.

While I was walking to the canteen, my cellphone vibrated. I pulled out my new iPhone 11, Wilder bought it for me. He said he didn’t want me to use the old one because it didn’t suit my appearance.

Mom:

I received your shipment. It’s a bit big compared to what you used to send? Where is it from?

That’s how he texted me after a few weeks of him not even letting me know. There was no ‘how are you, son’ ‘thank you son’ ‘sorry, you’re just busy’ there was no explanation as to why he couldn’t text me.

Who am I to complain? Just a child. I was the one who stayed away from him, until now maybe he still sulks with me. But that’s impossible, we’re okay before he doesn’t show his feelings. I knew it was doubtful, it was obvious from his question.

I thought of something I could say. Then I nodded.

To Mom:

I’m a barista, that’s my monthly salary, plus a bonus, so it’s big. You haven’t heard from me in a few weeks so I’m worried about what’s going on so I’ve taken the pay. How are you?

He never replied to me.

It’s break time, I went straight to the canteen.

I bought food at the canteen, I was about to leave when a woman stopped me. “Hey, Fertine! It’s you! You’ve changed so much. How are you?” It’s a happy opening.

Masy.

Her pretty eyes are looking at me. I looked at it. He is white and smooth. Quite thin and small.

He also mirrored like me before. His hair is short, he is quite thin and has a small pointed nose. His thick lips and cheeks were also red.

He and his friends were with me at the bar before, when Wilder first made me cry.

I smiled at her. “Ah Yes.” I don’t know why but I felt embarrassed by what he said even though it wasn’t negative. It looked down at my food.

“Come to our side!” He happily said that he pulled me to their friend’s seat, there were three other girls sitting there and four boys. Their faces are familiar because they were my classmates in a subject before. They are the ones sitting at the very back.

I managed to drag him. Even though I’m different, I still don’t like socializing with a lot of people. Yes, I go to a bar, but I don’t need to talk to the people there.

Masy put me in between me and another woman wearing glasses. His skin color is dark brown and like Masy, he is also thin. They are the same height. In front of me is another chin with long hair. I remember his face.

This is my opponent before in a contest. I can’t even remember what her name was, next to her was a tall white woman with long hair. Its eyes are big. They have the same looks.

My eyes landed on four men. One of them looks Korean. The appearance of one is a bit memorable, Ika is mature. One is quite naughty. Can I say childish? Maybe. The other has its own world.

They are all looking at me. They all glare at Masy. He was angry because he made me sit at the table of their group.

“Fertine? You’re the nerd, right? The one who’s always bullied here at school? Because you’re poor and ugly?” That sounds super offensive but I keep my cool. “Uh.. yes.” I answered then looked at her. The one who said it was the woman with the big eyes.

“So how did you end up looking like that?” It was a question when I was competing in the contest. “Hey what are you! Fertine is ashamed of you idiots!”

“He sat here. So he can expect to be bombarded with questions.” Tanda promised.

“Yes, all the students at school are talking about him.”

“You’re the one who suddenly showed up at school looking like that after you were absent, you’re really going to be talked about. Everyone has eyes and a brain. You can’t control what others will think.”

“I thought you were poor? How can you afford your clothes? And your iPhone 11 phone is beautiful!”

“Do you have a sugar daddy?”

“By the way, you’re so smooth. Do you use anything beautifying?”

I am one of those who come out of their mouths. I can’t even keep track of who the questions are coming from. I couldn’t even eat the food I bought. Who cares what they say. It was wrong that I dragged many people here. Then I just saw it again after what happened at the bar.

“Hey! Stop that! You’re rude!” Masi laughed. “I haven’t introduced them yet. So Loisa is next to you. Liza is the one in front of you.” Liza.. Liza is the name of the one I competed in the contest. It just tickled me.

“Then there’s Silver, the one next to him. Here are the boys, Kuya Zeke. Armstrong. Bunny and Chandler.” He taught the boys one by one. Zeke is the old one.

Armstrong is a bit childish. Bunny looks Korean and Chandler has his own world.

Why am I sitting here? I just want to leave.

“So that’s the story, isn’t it—” masy was interrupted.

I saw them staring at my back. I turned there. It was Wilder and his friends, Toci and Geo.

It’s good that he finally showed up for me!

“Let’s go.” It grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of that place.

Finally I’m out of there.

I look at his gorgeous face. Gosh I miss him!

Before we could even speak, someone immediately said, “Coach calls you Wilder.” I didn’t notice where it came from. This is one of his team mates. It nodded.

He turned to me. “Well talk later.” He said. Why does it look ugly now? Is it because of what I’m wearing or something?