gone

"No, forget it Archer. I've been waiting for just a piece of news from you Archer, I really needed you Archer, but you're always so busy with others and what about me? I'm so tired of fighting for someone who is mine. Don't bother anymore."

Those were Hazel's last words when she disconnected our call. Her every word dripping from disappointment and I started to feel that I made the wrong decision.

I cursed myself repeatedly as I tried to dial back, my hands were trembling now. My heart was beating fast, my mind racing with thoughts trying to figure out what was wrong.

Damn it, Archer! You messed up, again.

"The number you have dialled is unavailable. Please try again--" I hang up and tried to dial again, but it didn't connect anymore.

I rummaged my luggage for my voca orb and tried to connect it, but like the past few days, it wouldn't connect.

"Archer, c'mon, you're the only one they're waiting fo-- are you okay?" Suzy asked when she barged into my room.

I was breathing hard, my chest hurt and I couldn't shake off the feeling that there was something terribly wrong. She was trying to tell me something-- what was it?

I looked at the phone in my hand and then to Suzy. I just had to finish this meeting with Raymond's pack, Jessica's mate, and everything would be good.

Things took longer than usual, the greedy bastards wanted compensation even though Raymond already agreed to take Jessica back. They asked for the skies and the seas and so we had to remind them of their place.

Not to mention, the connection in this place sucks. Raymond's pack just had to be in the farthest northwest possible with no established connections. The voca orb would get me through no problem, but Hazel seemed to have no intention to answer that.

A compensation is understandable, but what they asked for was too much and Derek and I have been working to see what we could give while keeping it at a reasonable price.

"Archer? Did something happen?" Suzy asked again, this time sounding more concerned.

"Uh... I don't know—, let's just get this over with and return quickly." I said, trying to shake off the ominous feeling.

I felt like a lump was stuck in my throat and it was hard to swallow, but I had to get it together.

My mind went back to Hazel, what happened? Should I just return now? But then again, I just needed to finish this one last discussion and I'll return as soon as I can... yeah, that seems to be the reasonable decision to take.

The sooner I finish this, the sooner I can see Hazel. She would understand.

Right?

❀

My finger was tapping irritatedly on the wooden conference table and I knew everyone was feeling how irritated I was so they were already wrapping up with the meeting.

I could not concentrate at all, it seems I just wasted my time, I should have left already. What business do I have in here? And so what if they start a pack war? It's not like they can defeat us.

Hazel was more important right now and these greedy old men are currently on the way.

To alleviate the stress, I linked Suzy to try and contact Allan to see what was going on in the pack.

I thought about it over and over again and how stupid could I be?

Hazel clearly sounded distressed, she sounded shaken up even. She was trying to tell me something, but I didn't listen.

But she knew— she knew I would be busy, she knew I was trying my best out here. And so why would she say those words? Why did she sound... angry?

I hated the tone of her voice, it alarmed me, but I hated the fact that I hadn't realized it sooner. I admit, I've been too caught up with all other things, I promised to contact her as much as I could but the nature of things just could not let me.

"As agreed, the pack of Luna Flumine will be giving us the border terri--" the Gamma was interrupted when the door of the room flung open, so fast that the knobs hit the wall and bounced back.

Suzy came in, breathing hard, her eyes wide open as if she was petrified by something. The men in the room were disturbed and staggered that the meeting was bothered.

Derek stood up and went towards his mate, but she searched the whole room until her eyes fell on mine. And when they did, my heart stopped.

A deafening silence.

Suzy took slow, but big strides of steps towards me, her hands reaching out but then retreating like she didn't know how to start what she was about to say. Each step she took towards me was heavy and carried a weight that added on my shoulders.

When she was in front of me, she looked at the people around the room and hesitated. With one look towards the group of men, they understood right away and quickly left the room.

When it was only the three of us in the room, Suzy looked at me straight in the eyes, taking a deep breath before she announced the news.

"Hazel is gone."

Hazel is what?

My eyebrows met, my face scrunching up as I stared at the girl in front of me.

What the heck is she saying? I swear if she's joking, she will pay the price.

"Wh-what do you mean gone? Did she--"

"A-Allan and the pack warriors have been looking for her, she's gone. Sh-she left, they don't know when or-- or how, but th--"

I tried to understand what she was saying but her words were gibberish, I couldn't process it, my mind went blank when she said that Hazel is gone.

How can she be gone?

She can't be gone.

Why would she be? I just spoke with her a few hours ago, I spoke with her and she-- oh.

The phone call replayed in my head and I started to see how terribly wrong I was in my choice of words and in my choice not to go back to her as soon as possible.

"Slow down, Suzy." Derek guided because at this point Suzy was mumbling and I didn't understand anymore.

"Archer, no one knows where she is."

Suzy was saying more things, but I couldn't hear her because all I hear in my head is the phone call we had replaying over and over again. All I could hear in my head now was Hazel pleading me.

"Archer, please I need you."

But I didn't listen...

"Don't bother anymore."

❀

"Archer, get some sleep, this isn't healthy anymore. We will continue searching for her and contacting the other packs to see if they-- if they have heard of her or not." Allan said, putting a cup of coffee down the table.

I looked up to him, my eyes tired and getting blurry. It's been five days since I returned to Luna Flumine and I haven't heard of a single news from Hazel.

She really was gone.

When I hurried back, the pack was in chaos. No one knew where Hazel was, she didn't tell anybody. No one knew what happened to her, all everybody knew was that she wasn't feeling well and stayed home for a couple of days and no one has seen her since.

But it didn't make sense, something clearly happened or else she wouldn't have left me a voicemail begging me to come back. She wouldn't have asked me to come back so quickly, she wouldn't have sounded so... hopeless.

The only strange thing in everything was Frances. I knew that she knew something, but she couldn't say it. Hazel most likely commanded her not to say anything.

When I came back home, Hazel's scent lingered strongly, but the rooms were empty. All of a sudden, the home that I looked forward to going home to everyday was wide, empty and cold.

The living room and our room were unkempt which was totally not Hazel, she liked to organize and clean things so to see everything out of place alarmed me even more.

The bed didn't even have bed sheets anymore, the pillows were all on the floor, I even found the remains of her voca orb on the corner.

I could see her frustration in the room and it broke me.

Hazel really did need me, but I wasn't there.

I always promised her that she could rely on me for anything, but I wasn't there.

I failed her.

Why am I always like this?

Why do I always fail the one person I vowed not to?

If only I did not leave, if only I turned down Jessica's request, if only I paid more attention, if only..., but what's done is done.

Hazel must've gotten so tired of my incompetence and I can't blame her, but...

What the heck is this?

Every time the sun rises and I do not know where she is or what is happening with her, the more I felt broken, the more I became fearful.

Is she safe? Is she eating well? Damn it all, I have no idea.

It was all unreal.

Every time I closed my eyes, I would see her smiling back at me, her smile that always gave me encouragement, her smile that always made the world stop turning. But then a picture of her crying, a phone in hand, waiting for me always followed and I would be shaken up all over.

As I was leaving our room on the day I got back, the strangest thing was that there was faint, very faint smell of blood. It just made me wonder even more what had happened.

"I'm fine, finding Hazel is more im--"

"And we are doing what we can Archer. Our Luna is already missing and we don't know if she's safe, we can't have our Alpha risk his health too. For goodness' sake, get some rest even if it's just for a few hours." he said again.

I looked up to him and stared at him threateningly, how dare he speak to me that way?

Does he know of the hell I'm going through? To have your mate disappear without a trace and have no idea what is happening?

It must've been the days worth of sleeplessness that was making me irritable and impatient, but my claws and canines shew and I was ready to attack my Beta.

"Alpha stop it!" a panicked voice scream out, it was Derek. Suzy also came running.

"You're not making any things better by doing this, Archer. Get some rest, we'll take care of things for now."

"Yeah and then what--?! Let you guys take care of things that I should be taking care of?! She needed me, Suzy! But I wasn't there! Do you know how that feels? To be so incompetent and disappointing? Do you know how it feels to be there for someone else, but failing to be there for the person I should have been? It hurts here." I hit my hardly, to give her an idea in just how much the pain was killing me.

"It makes me regret everything. It makes everything worthless. That deal with Raymond's pack? To reconcile Jessica and Raymond?" I scoffed in the air mockingly, "What's the use of it if it only made things this way?"

The room filled with silence, the three of them not knowing what to say.

"Archer don't say that, you did only did it because you cared for Jess--"

"And that's the problem! I've been trying to fix a problem of the past without knowing that Hazel was hurting. And you know what goes in my head every minute that passes by and she's not here?" I couldn't keep the boiling emotions inside me anymore.

The guilt and regret that weighed heavy on my shoulders were killing me.

I felt something unfamiliar trickling down my face, but I couldn't stop it. I couldn't help it no matter how much I hated it.

The shocked look in the faces of my friends confirmed that I was doing something I never thought I would do, much less do in front of people. Crying.

"Every time all I can hear is her asking me for help, begging me to be with her, but I brushed her aside. Do you imagine how painful it must've been for her? To be alone when she needed me most? Do you? Huh?!"

I breathed hardly and heavily, my chest constricting and heaving, an unfamiliar burning that was the pain that I was feeling. A lump was stuck in my throat and it made speaking even harder.

"So don't tell me to rest when I have no idea where Hazel is, when I have no idea what is going on with her. This is the least I can do."