a little bit of relief

It has been at least two weeks since Hazel left the pack unknowingly. We've contacted everyone that might know her, everyone that might have seen her, everyone that might know anything. But no one has seen her.

I tried to retrace her path by following her scent, but Hazel was smart enough to conceal her scent. I visited her pack and sure enough, she wasn't there. I had a hard time facing her family, I mean how am I even supposed to explain myself?

I hurt her and pushed her to leave, although I don't exactly know what it was, something must've... I just don't know what it is.

We searched through the forests all around the pack and even reaching until almost the Capitol, but there was nothing. All that we've met are rogues and... Strays.

At the end, I had to ask my dad for help, something I promised myself never to do, but there I was, on the voca orb with my father asking him for help to put out an official search for Hazel.

I could tell by the way he looked at me how disappointed he was, but he didn't say anything and I didn't need him to.

The same question I was confronted with by everyone was 'what happened' and ashamedly, I had no answer to give. I also had no idea.

I thought we were fine, I thought she had understood me. Was she still upset about Jessica and I failed to notice? Was it because I wasn't able to contact her as much as I had promised her?

Had I not assured her enough that she was the one I loved and not Jessica? I was always told that I had a different way of showing people I cared, was that the case with Hazel?

I tried my best to get answers out from Frances or the pack guards that were there when she left, but it was impossible. Hazel's command tone was much more powerful than mine and held deeper authority within their wolves so even if they wanted to say something, their wolf would not let them to.

A simple yes or no question can't even be answered and if I tried to push for more, it only hurt their wolves.

The only one place I can think that she would visit is Panselinos, Ian's pack. Ian's Luna was the first warrior and I knew she started reading more about the warriors being one herself. But the thought was less likely, she didn't know anyone there except maybe for Ian, much less how to get there, but that's an easy information to get.

I've been contacting Ian almost everyday to try and see if Hazel ever made it there, but he always assured me that she hasn't and that if she had, he will inform me right away. But I couldn't just sit still.

I was at the end of my wits, I had no more idea on what to do. My wolf wailed and I shared the same pain.

It was already dark outside, the pack wolves have started going home for dinner now and I could only reminisce of when I went to pick Hazel up at this same time and we would walk home together.

She would tell me a joke or two and although it was corny, what made me laugh was her laugh. Hazel always found joy in the littlest thing, even in a simple word play and it was one of the things I loved about her.

I rested my head on my chair, I pictured her in my head. I desperately tried to remember the way her cheeks puffed up when she laughed out loud heftily, or the way her lip would curl when she would get annoyed at me for teasing her too much.

I had to remember it, etch it in my memory because if not, I felt like it would slip off my hands completely.

I was jolted awake when my voca orb lit up. Immediately, I accepted it.

To my surprise, Ian popped up.

"You look worse than the last time I've seen you." he joked and laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

But my heart was beating hard, I was hoping and praying that he would be bearing good news.

"I-is she there?" I questioned.

Ian smiled sadly and nodded. "Uh she kinda broke in our pack, but for the sake of our friendship, I'll let her in." he says again jokingly.

I'm going to kill him when I see him.

"How is she doing? Is she hurt anywhere? Tell her I'll be there as soon as I can."

Two days at max, it would take me two days to get there.

Ian sighed at how I was acting. "Don't worry, Arch, she's doing fine. In fact, I don't understand what's wrong. She seems fine to me."

Of course, he would say that. He didn't know Hazel like I did. She could look fine on the outside, she will smile at you and tell you that the sun is hot and the flowers are pretty, but something is eating her up inside.

It was her art.

Finally, I could take a little breather. A small relief washed over me.

"D-did she tell you about me?" it almost hurt too much to ask the question. The silence that followed stabbed a knife in my heart, but I tried to not show it.

"Uhm... she did. Though, she called you a monster, are you sure you didn't do anything? I mean, she's technically right, but how badly did you mess up? Cause if you did, I can at least--"

A monster?

Well, I might as well be.

I didn't know what kind of face I was wearing in front of my old friend at the moment and I imagined it must've been a depressing one so I simply tried to smile.

"I see..."

"We'll take care of her, Hannah's currently with her and I think they're discussing about the-- oh wait, you do know that Hazel is--"

"Yes, I know..." I answered lowly, still thankful that I finally knew that she was at least safe, "thank you Ian and... to your mate."

"Don't get all sappy with me, Archer. Take some rest before coming up here, surely you don't want to show yourself to your mate at that state." he said and still had the chance to take a jab at me, but it made me smile even if it was just a little. Good to know Ian is still the same asshole that he was.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll let you know when I'll be there. Keep me posted on Hazel."

❀

[random A/N: the following events will be events that have been in TABTO, but with more details and some modifications to the published chapter in TABTO, I will explain further in the A/N below ☺️]

Like predicted, it took us two days to get to Panselinos. From farther away, I could see the pack barrier. I haven't visited here since I was in my teenage days and I had to say, their territory is lush as ever, despite the fact that they're in the north.

My heart was beating hard as we approached, I didn't know what to tell Hazel. I didn't know how to really face her. At this point, I just wanted to see her, confirm that she was safe and fine.

But would she want to see me? I had a feeling that she didn't want to.

She was angry at me and although I didn't know the reason why, I wanted to apologize.

When we got in and got off the pack borders, Allan and I were led till the front of the pack house where I easily spotted familiar faces. The two other vehicles that were following us also came to a stop.

When Allan parked, we both get out to meet them. The pack warriors that followed also got out, but they stayed behind.

"Well, look who we have here." Ian greeted me. I smiled and shook my head when I greeted him. Although I was glad to see him, I was more enamoured by the scent of Hazel that was now filling the air.

The mate bond was once again acting up and I knew and assured that she really was here.

"Unexpected turn of events, right?" I commented and then turned my attention to the woman beside the northern Alpha. She was almost the same height as Hazel, but Hazel was taller. She had brown hair, but what I found weird was a lock of hair that were... strangely silver.

But I disregarded it and smiled at her. "I'm assuming you're his unfortunate mate?"

At that, she smiled. "I am. Nice to meet you, I'm Hannah."

"You can just call me Archer." I greeted but then Alec and Elliot came by. The Beta and Gamma.

"Woah, we haven't seen you ever since you were appointed to be the Alpha. You've aged so much!" Alec commented and again, I couldn't help but shake my head at him. He was still as loud as ever.

And then the greetings started, but when I noticed Dana, I was quite surprised. I didn't know she would be here. She was quite a troublesome Luna back then. I broke Allan from the greetings and we both greeted Dana and the elders.

Dana gave me a hug and whispered to me. "You have a lovely mate, son. Make sure you fix whatever problem it is you have or I will be so disappointed in you." she even sounded like she was threatening me and I couldn't help but laugh.

"That was the plan, ma'am." I assured her and she approved.

After all the greetings were done, I tried to see if Hazel was anywhere nearby, but she wasn't. The mate bond was stronger now that we were closer and her scent was so strong.

Hannah must've seen me looking around the place because when I caught her looking, she smiled sweetly as if knowing what was on my mind.

"I'm sorry, Alpha. I did try my best to convince Hazel to come."

I sighed and nodded towards her. "Don't worry about it, I can feel that she is here. I will look for her."

❀

I had to excuse myself after the lunch with Panselinos's leaders. Although no one said anything, the reason why was obvious.

I followed Hazel's scent. I wasn't even inside the pack yet and I had already smelled her scent. It relieved me like a cold water being poured onto me on a hot day. Her scent was sweet and calming, it easily distinguished her from others. I could always find no matter what.

It has been around two weeks since she ran away and it's been more than two weeks since I've had the chance to see her.

After around fifteen minutes of following her scent, I saw her sitting at the feet of a tree. She was leaning against it, her eyes closed. She must've sensed me by now, but seeing that she hasn't reacted in any way yet, I guessed that she must have fallen asleep.

I sighed and felt somewhat irritated by the carelessness. This girl had no sense of danger whatsoever. But that was the least of my emotions, seeing her was more important.

I walked up to her and confirmed, she was asleep alright. I bended in front of her, staring at her sleeping face. Her face was hit by the sunlight and her golden hair was being blown away by the wind. As always, she took my breath away.

I decided not to wake her up and sat beside her instead. I pushed the strands that were getting blown on her face, tucking them behind her ear. I expected that she would wake up, but she didn't.

She was wearing a white dress that I had not recognized. She had a healing wound on her right arm that alarmed me, but I didn't move so I wouldn't wake her.

Just how tired is she?

When our shoulders touched, the sparks erupted and it almost shocked me. It was almost as strong as the first time we touched, it must've been because we haven't seen each other in a long time. I'm sure the mate bond was hurting her in a way too.

Still asleep, Hazel's head dropped onto my shoulder, leaning on it. I didn't move. I tried my best not to.

I sat there for a while, waiting for Hazel to wake up, and that's when my mind drifted to the fight that we had over the phone, the one we had before she ran away.

I wondered if only I had listened more, would we be here right now? Would things have ended up till here?

"I'm so tired of fighting for someone who is mine."

That's the last thing she told me. She was crying when she said it and that was what surprised me the most.

Although she wore her heart on her sleeves, she rarely acted on impulse, she rarely acted on her emotions. And this time, she did. I've really angered her, haven't I.

I felt Hazel stirring beside me causing me to look at her, her head moved as if trying to place it better on my numbing shoulder. But then, she opened her eyes wide and when she saw me, she bolted up and moved away.

Wrong move, she hit her head on my jaw. My hand immediately went to my jaw, rubbing it from the impact.

"A-aw!" she screamed and rubbed her hand on her head.

"It wouldn't have happened if you didn't jump like that." I say calmly, my heart beating hard now that I was facing her and talking to her again. All of a sudden, I didn't know what to say. I could see that her face was already reddening, that's how fast I could make her mad.

Okay, let's start with an apology Archer.

"And now it's my fault?! You're the one sneaking up on me while I was asleep!" she says, already pissed at me and already pouting.

"I'm glad to see you're fine." I tried to start with the conversation. I swallowed hard and tried to reach out to her again, but when my fingers touched her shoulder, she went rigid.

She froze from my touch and it wasn't in a good way. It surprised me so suddenly too, she looked disgusted.

"You shouldn't have come." she says lowly and pulled away, touching her shoulder that I tried to hold, as if trying to get the sensation off.

I didn't understand. What the heck?

"Of course, I would come. Can you--" I wanted to ask her what happened, I wanted to know why she was acting this way. But judging at the way she looked like right now, I knew I wasn't going to have my answers any time soon.

"Get away from me." she said, each word carrying a heavy weight directed towards me and it broke me.

I stood up, putting more distance between her and I... since it was what she wanted. "Since you already look well and energetic, we can travel back in two days after Ian and I finish discussing about the Strays." I tell her and tried to brush off the hurt that I was feeling.

Hearing what I said, her eyebrows furrowed at me and her blue eyes were already a raging sea.

She bit her lip and got up as well. Without saying a word, she started walking ahead. And this time, I could feel her emotions more clearly although I could also feel that she was trying to block her emotions so I wouldn't feel it.

I felt her pain and while it was only for a brief moment, her pain caught me off guard. It was a different kind of pain. A deep pain that I never felt before. It was only for a short moment, but something in the emotion made me stop and even tear up.

I couldn't explain it, but I confirmed that there was something terribly wrong.

I walked up to her, grabbing her arm. "What's wrong, Hazel? Please tell me."

Hazel didn't look at me, she kept her head turned away as she shook her arm off my hold. "Leave me alone and don't show yourself to me while you're here. And I won't be going back with you to the pack either. I will be travelling with Hannah down to Chase's pack and meet the second warrior." she said coldly and walked ahead of me.

Chase? Alpha Chase? The southern pack?

---------------------------------

hoi everybodeh! i hope you all are fine!

are you all enjoying? (please tell me you are lol)

i have 2 announcements to make:

1) I realized that I won't be able to explain a lot of things within the book (seeing as to... we are nearing the end...) and I will probably be leaving a lot of questions unanswered so I will be doing a Q&A chapter.

So please, please, if you have any questions, please list them down and I will be answering the most frequently asked questions and the most relevant to the plot or the most confusing ones.

You can even ask a question about Cassian if you want 😊 (i miss that boi)

2) as you have seen and if you have gone back to the chapter in TABTO where these things happen, you will see that there will be changes. the reason to this is because at first, i had a completely different narrative for The Perfect Luna.

it was only when i started writing TPL that i solidified which events were going to pass and not.

so i am sorry if it's contradicting, i promise i will edit TABTO accordingly in the future (when i get the chance 🥲) but again, i will be answering a lot of questions in the Q&A so here's the chance for me to clarify all confusions!

(archer 💔)

much love,

skyy💕