it's rather cold
disclaimer: the water is not to blame for Hazel's miscarriage nor the land deteriorating. miscarriages happen and sometimes without a known reason. the land deteriorating is caused by the rejection, that's already explained in the past chapter.
and can we please stop putting either Archer or Hazel at the burning stake? how many times do I have to explain that Archer was there for Jessica because he knew she needed him, she was having suicidal thoughts for goodness' sake and y'all want him to kick her down when she was already struggling?
Archer is not perfect, he failed, yes, he wasn't there when Hazel needed her most yes, but it happens in a relationship. as much as you may want to be there, sometimes you make the wrong decisions and you can't.
Hazel is a kind soul, too kind that it hurt her, but she is growing, she is taking everything one step at a time. she also made mistakes, but she is learning.
can we please normalize accepting the mistakes of others and let them grow from it?
i appreciate the different theories arising, i love love reading all your comments, but please don't confuse the other readers π
[Image: i appreciate the different theories arising, i love love reading all your comments, but please don't confuse the other readers π]
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When we arrived at the pack almost a day later, the sun was already setting. I was surprised when I saw a lot of people by the pack house all waiting for me.
Getting off the car, I had met with the familiar faces and greeted them. There were the young warriors I used to teach, there was the pack helpers, the cooks, the border patrols and of course there was Suzy and Frances.
"I missed you both." I tell them and it was the truth, they were the first friends that I made here and I had always hoped that they would be doing fine.
As I was greeting everyone, there was a cheerful and joyful atmosphere, but beneath that, I could sense and observe the obvious changes.
Like Allan and Derek, everyone seemed to be so... exhausted, but they tried to hide that with their smiles.
On the way to the pack, I noticed what they were saying about the land deteriorating. I was heartbroken to see that the land that used to be bustling with the greenest trees and grass were now withering.
It must have been because it was nearing night time already, but no birds hovered above. The place was awfully quiet and... cold.
What truly shocked me was the barrier though. I'm not a strong barrier user but even I can cast a stronger barrier than what the pack was relying on right now.
Allan and Derek must've noticed my reaction, but they chose not to say anything and I'm glad they didn't because I wouldn't have known how to respond anyways.
"Okay, everyone, let the Lu--, Hazel through first. We'll let her settle down first and she'll be back down later for supper." Allan was the one who broke through the crowd.
I bid goodbye to everyone as the Beta and Gamma led me to my room at the pack house and now that I think about it, this is my first time staying in the pack house.
As much as I didn't want to, I looked around to see if Archer was here. Very faintly, very faintly, I could sense him through the broken bond, but it wasn't like before.
Before, I could tell how far he was approximately, but now I couldn't. I knew he was here, maybe inside the pack house or away for a run, but he was nowhere in sight.
Although his scent was everywhere here and the moment I smelled it, it brought so many memories that I had to stop for a moment and just reminisce all the good times as well as the bad.
They led me to the west wing of the second floor, the side where the big guest rooms are. At the east wing, that's where Archer's office and room were and of course the libraries, conference rooms and all that.
"Here's your room, Haze. Take some rest first, if there's anything wrong, call us right away." Derek says as he lets my luggage down the room.
I entered the room, looking around and then turned to them. "I will, thanks."
"Supper's in about two hours so you can even take a nap." Allan even said which made me chuckle lightly.
"That I will do. Thanks guys, see you later."
The leaders left the room and I found myself alone. I sat at the bed only to end up lying down, looking up at the ceiling.
Many thoughts came into my mind, the many changes of the pack, it's almost impossible to believe but I've seen them on hand.
I know there are consequences to a rejection, but aren't these too cruel? Decades worth of work and preservation, all slowly disappearing.
I wondered how Archer must've felt, he must be so stressed out, he must feel so bad. A Luna rejecting an Alpha... so this how it is.
At first, I hoped to return to my home pack at the very least in a month, but seeing the current conditions, I know I can't do that now. I don't know how long I lied down in there, but during that time, I made a decision that I wasn't leaving until I help them out.
Things didn't work out between Archer and I, but the least we can do is for these beautiful and hardworking people is to not let them suffer.
Before I knew it, supper time already came so I hurried to change my clothes and went down. Looking at the hallway of the east wing, I was almost tempted to go and check if Archer was there. My legs almost walked on their own towards where Archer might be, but I held myself back and went to the kitchen area.
Everyone was already waiting for me.
"This is so much food!" I exclaimed when I saw the buffet in front of me.
"All for you, my darling." Miss Jemma says and led me to my seat.
With my presence, everyone started eating and just like the old times, everyone started telling stories of what had recently happened to them or what they had encountered.
Everything was so nostalgic and reminded me of the old times. At the moment, we're all laughing and being happy, but no one can hide the suppressed worry they have for their pack.
I could feel in between the silences, I could see it when their smiles would falter slightly. The pack must've known what happened, they must've held their own opinion, but they didn't let any of that show.
They wanted to make me feel comfortable and I was thankful for that.
After the dinner, I waited until everybody left before saying goodbye to the kitchen staff also. Derek and Suzy left early because Derek had been on the road nonstop and needed some rest. Allan offered to walk me back to my room but I had to remind him that I had lived here at one point of my life also and that I could handle myself.
I took my time getting back to my room, I went to the living room area where all the young ones usually gather after training and just chatted with each other. It still looked the same, except that it was empty right now.
Content with my reminiscing, I finally decide to go back to my room. As I was going up the stairs, I caught wind of Archer's scent. When I arrived at the top, I was surprised to see him just coming out the hallways.
I thought my mind was playing tricks on me just like it had sometimes done throughout the year that I hadn't seen him, but the look of shock on his face and the sudden regaining of composure, I knew it had to be him.
He was wearing a black polo shirt and washed out black jeans while a grey hoodie was hanging on his shoulder. His hair was a little bit longer than he liked them to be, but maybe he liked it a little longer now.
But he looked good, he looked handsome like he always had. And just like many times, he didn't fail to catch my breath away.
My steps faltered and I stopped in front of him, not really knowing what to say. My heart started to beat faster. I was getting nervous.
I've always imagined how it would be like to see him once again after all this time. I always made up scenarios in my head, I always wondered how I would react, would I be angry? Sad? Nonchalant? Hurt? Happy? Glad? Relieved?
But now that it was happening, I didn't know what to do or say or even feel.
"Hi." I finally greet so we don't keep at the staring game.
"Hello." he greets back, but quickly looks away.
"How are you?"
Archer leans against the window's frame and looked outside, he looked at anywhere but me.
"Fine, just fine."
Lies, I thought. He didn't look fine, he looked like he had the whole world on his shoulders. But I simply nodded, suddenly, I didn't know what to say anymore. I decided that it was better to leave, but just as I was about to leave, he spoke once more.
"And you? How have you been?" he asked, finally looking back at me in the eyes.
"I'mβ" fine, I was about to lie just the same, but I stopped myself. "I'm doing the best I can everyday." I answered truthfully and shot him a smile.
"Aren't we all?" Archer said standing up and started walking towards me and I held my breath. But then he walked past me and I released the breath I was holding. "It's late, you should get some rest. Good night."
I stood still, but it felt like my knees are about to give out on me and I would fall at just any moment. What the hell is wrong with me?
"Hazel." Archer called again from behind and I turned around quickly. Maybe even too quickly. "Thank you. For coming. I'll try to find an alternative as quickly as I can so you can retuβ"
"D-don't mind it, it's my fault anyways." I answered. Archer stopped and stared at me when I said that.
"It's not your fault, don't think that. Just get some rest." he said and left.
