Chapitre 21

SATURDAY OF THE 9TH MOON COUNT:

"Eros, when are we finally there?" I asked in the most annoying tone I could muster in the cold.

For hours we had been on the way back, which we had started two days ago. While it was nice to fall asleep in Eros' arms and spend time with him, I looked forward to good food and a comfortable bed.

"We'll be right there," he grumbled, but his gaze was focused on our surroundings.

For two days I had seen nothing but snow-covered trees and mountains. But even that didn't get my body to adjust to the cold.

A yawn ran through my body as my legs grew tired. Eros didn't seem even remotely drained.

"I can't take it anymore," I kept whining.

Eros snorted, stopped and returned to me. He picked me up and carried me on his back. A secret smile spread across my lips as I wrapped my legs around his stomach.

He immediately increased the speed.

It's been like this a lot the last few days: I was annoyed by the cold, Eros was annoyed by my slow pace. We both wanted to slowly return to civilization.

I rested my head on his shoulder, enjoying his warmth and the view. His arms were wrapped tightly around my thighs, pulling me closer to him.

"I could get used to that," I said, eyeing Eros sideways.

Over the days he had grown a real beard. I stroked his rough cheek with my fingers. I saw his lips curl up.

"It's already too late for that. I spoiled you way too much," he replied, amused.

I raised my head reproachfully.

"That's not true," I said. "I could do everything by myself if I wanted to."

A hearty laugh vibrated through Eros to me.

"I thought we always wanted to tell each other the truth, no matter how painful, embarrassing or scary. You couldn't even take me down if your life depended on it."

"That's not funny! I could beat you if I wanted to, but I don't want to hurt you!" I yelled in exasperation, squeezing with my legs as hard as I could to squeeze the laugh out of him.

Eros barely seemed to notice what was making my blood boil.

"Is that so?" he scoffed. "I'd like to see you try."

"Be careful what you wish for!"

With all my strength, I pressed my legs together further so that I could feel his muscles. However, they seemed to be made of steel, because no matter how much force I used, I achieved nothing.

"Was that all?" he asked unperturbed.

"I'm just getting started."

Desperately I searched for the best strategy, for any weakness. Then I focused on his arms supporting my legs. I rubbed my hands together with a mischievous grin.

"Are you ready for the greatest pain of your life?" I asked.

A warm laughter filled the icy air around us.

"I only hear you talking, but there is a lack of action!" he laughed.

"You asked for it. Those who refuse to follow rules shall feel the consequences!"

With my fingers, I pinched his forearms as hard as I could, where it hurt the most. That's how Lizzy and I used to torture each other. Eros exhaled, but his grip on me only grew stronger.

Suddenly he let go.

I landed in the soft snow with a surprised squeak.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, staring at him.

"I never said I wouldn't fight back. But it looks like you've already lost."

Ero's grin was wider than the sun in the blue sky. Then he turned and continued walking towards the pack.

"That wasn't fair!" I yelled, jumping up.

I would show him what I was capable of! I sprinted toward his broad back and, with as much momentum as I could muster, jumped on top of him. At the last moment, Eros jerked around as if expecting the attack.

Instead of hitting his back, I pounded his torso head-on. The air was pushed out of my lungs while Eros didn't even have to take a step back. I desperately grabbed his shoulders to keep from ending up in the snow again.

"Am I so awesome that you just can't live without me?" Eros asked, trying not to laugh.

"You would like that!"

I clasped his wrists, but either his arms were too muscular or my hands were just too small. I couldn't even grab her and Eros didn't help me either. He watched me with amusement.

"Are you done?" he asked, mock bored.

I narrowed my eyes to slits: If you don't want to hear, you have to feel. It was time for my grandiose acting skills.

I lowered my head slowly and let my hair fall over my face. I let go of him and turned away from him. Immediately I felt Ero's mood swing from amused to worried.

"Ephilia?"

He took a step toward me.

This was my chance.

I aimed at his legs and tried to rob him of his secure footing. It also only worked halfway that Eros wasn't the only one who went down. A giggle spurted out of me as I landed next to Eros in the soft snow.

I knew he'd fallen for me, but my pride could live with it. It immediately moved into my field of vision, blocking out the sun.

A devilish smile tugged at his lips as he bent over my helpless form.

"Whoever can dish out must also be able to take it," he whispered, and before I knew what was happening, a forced laugh ran through me. Eros' fingers ran all over my body and tickled my fine hairs.

"Eros!" I spluttered, but he showed no mercy.

"So, there it is lying under me in the snow. What do you want, Ephilia?" he asked.

"Stop it!" I giggled unintentionally and squirmed under his body, but he didn't let me escape.

"I haven't heard a plea," he said triumphantly.

"Please Erotic! Please, I can't take it anymore!"

Satisfied, he leaned back and regarded me with a twinkle in his eyes. I loved the look on his face, carefree and free. A hot patter went through my body that had only gotten stronger over the past few days.

Without hesitation, I sat up and met his lips in a passionate kiss. I sighed contentedly at the feel of his warm hands on my back.

His kisses made their way to my neck, where the mark pulsed with desire.

"Eros..." I whined, my voice shaking under his touch.

"I love it when you say my name," he whispered, leaning back. His blue eyes were coated with a layer of wild lust. Our torsos were pressed tightly together.

In our most intimate moments, I felt fused with him as if we were one. He stroked my cheek with his rough hands. I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch.

A part of me just wanted to stay here in nature.

"We should return," he said reluctantly.

"We should," I replied, nodding.

Elegantly Eros got up and pulled me with him. We moved on side by side. I couldn't wipe the satisfied grin off my face.

My head was resting against his shoulder as Eros held me tightly to his side. Not even the cold could harm me like that.

The trees slowly cleared and we climbed the last mountain. I looked one last time at the distant expanses of the north behind us.

I ran my fingers over the mark on my neck. It seemed like forever since we left. We left all the stress behind. I was glad we had this break. Now I could look at everything with fresh eyes.

I felt Eros visibly relax next to me as we stepped back onto familiar ground. I felt the same way. We moved through the trees until finally the pack house came into view.

I breathed a sigh of relief. Finally a house and soft pillows. I burst through the door first, only to slow down in surprise at the stairs.

"What kind of reception is this?" I asked.

Both Gamma Johnson and Beta Julien stood there as if expecting us. I felt Eros presence behind me.

"Give me half an hour," he said simply, taking my hand and leading me upstairs past a shocked Gamma Johnson and a winking Beta Julien.

We went to our room and Eros closed the door. I immediately collapsed onto the bed, the feathers greeting me softly. I sighed in relief and closed my eyes. Ero's muffled footsteps were the only sound in the room.

It felt like we had finally arrived home from a long vacation. My eyes shot up.

Our little dream seemed to be over for good and I was the reason for it. A pang of fear pierced my heart as I studied Ero's sharp expression.

How would he react?

"Do you promise not to get angry?" I asked cautiously.

My words made his eyebrows lower. Very slowly he came towards me, one step mightier than the other.

"What's happening?"

It wasn't a question, it was a demand. I placed my palms on his strong chest, but I couldn't meet his eyes. The touch calmed me a little, but I felt the storm seething beneath his cool exterior.

If I hadn't accepted this stupid soap, I wouldn't have to destroy our paradise now. When I swore I would always tell the truth, I was so lost in feelings that I didn't think about it.

I had to pay the price for that now.

"Ephilia."

Ero's hand lifted my chin and I looked into his stormy eyes. He tried to read me but seemed to get nowhere, which only irritated him more.

"Promise me. Promise me you won't be mad at me."

"That all depends on what you have to tell me," Eros replied, the hand on my chin gripping me tighter.

"I just realized it," I said. "I didn't think about it during our trip. I just pushed it aside. I'm sorry I'm just telling you now..."

My voice rasped a little with emotion.

"Ephilia, now tell me what's going on. What happened?"

Was there a hint of concern in his tone? Ero's eyes revealed nothing. I swallowed my fear and continued.

"I don't even remember when it was, just before I visited Demetrius I think. I was at the border where verbena grows and I heard a noise from the forest. So I went over to see what was there."

With every word I said, Ero's expression darkened further.

"And then?"

His voice was deeper than usual.

"Well, then suddenly a voice spoke to me. She knew my name and wanted me to come to her."

A shiver ran down my spine at the memory. A growl shook Ero's body. He had trouble controlling his wolf. To my disappointment, he didn't say anything but waited for me to continue.

“The voice told me to flee from here and come to them; that they would know me."

Ero's eyes flickered black and I saw that he was holding on tightly to his control.

"Obviously I didn't do that," I quickly added.

Now that I said the words so clearly, I realized just how scary the encounter actually was. Whoever was perched there in the trees wanted to separate me from the pack at any cost.

Home?

Had this place really become my home? I got used to everything...

My eyes fell on the dessert. I pulled out my bag to check the cookbook, but something else caught my eye: the verbena soap.

An arrow of guilt shot through my stomach, burning everything in its path. Immediately my gaze twitched to Eros. I put the bag aside and reluctantly got out of bed.

"Eros, we swore we'd always tell each other the truth, no matter how painful, embarrassing, or scary..."

Immediately all his movements froze and he spun around to face me. His eyebrows were drawn together and his voice skeptical.

"Yes why?"

***

Our little dream seemed to be over for good and I was the reason for it. A pang of fear pierced my heart as I studied Ero's sharp expression.

How would he react?

"Do you promise not to get angry?" I asked cautiously.

My words made his eyebrows lower. Very slowly he came towards me, one step mightier than the other.

"What's happening?"

It wasn't a question, it was a demand. I placed my palms on his strong chest, but I couldn't meet his eyes. The touch calmed me a little, but I felt the storm seething beneath his cool exterior.

If I hadn't accepted this stupid soap, I wouldn't have to destroy our paradise now. When I swore I would always tell the truth, I was so lost in feelings that I didn't think about it.

I had to pay the price for that now.

"Ephilia."

Ero's hand lifted my chin and I looked into his stormy eyes. He tried to read me but seemed to get nowhere, which only irritated him more.

"Promise me. Promise me you won't be mad at me."

"That all depends on what you have to tell me," Eros replied, the hand on my chin gripping me tighter.

"I just realized it," I said. "I didn't think about it during our trip. I just pushed it aside. I'm sorry I'm just telling you now..."

My voice rasped a little with emotion.

"Ephilia, now tell me what's going on. What happened?"

Was there a hint of concern in his tone? Ero's eyes revealed nothing. I swallowed my fear and continued.

"I don't even remember when it was, just before I visited Demetrius I think. I was at the border where verbena grows and I heard a noise from the forest. So I went over to see what was there."

With every word I said, Ero's expression darkened further.

"And then?"

His voice was deeper than usual.

"Well, then suddenly a voice spoke to me. She knew my name and wanted me to come to her."

A shiver ran down my spine at the memory. A growl shook Ero's body. He had trouble controlling his wolf. To my disappointment, he didn't say anything but waited for me to continue.

“The voice told me to flee from here and come to them; that they would know me."

Ero's eyes flickered black and I saw that he was holding on tightly to his control.

"Obviously I didn't do that," I quickly added.

Now that I said the words so clearly, I realized just how scary the encounter actually was. Whoever was perched there in the trees wanted to separate me from the pack at any cost.

I hesitantly walked over to my bag.

"Before I could return to the packhouse, however, something flew after me," I said.

The uncertainty in my voice spread to my hand. Nevertheless, I grabbed the green piece and slowly pulled it out.

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS?"

Eyes wide, I turned to Eros, whose eyes were now focused on the soap. The anger had gone and a cold facade had built up. I unconsciously held her further away from him.

"Vervain," I replied.

I slowly placed the devil stuff on the bedside table and turned back to Eros to see his reaction. I didn't dare to breathe. I waited quietly for a sign.

It was too quiet in this room, not even the tension dared crackle.

Suddenly, before I could react, Eros jerked around and swept out of the room. I instinctively raised my hand to grab him, but I couldn't keep up with his speed.

"Eros?"

The door slammed shut behind him and it felt like a slap in the face.

I was left alone with nothing but the aching ache in my heart and the nagging thoughts of what an idiot I was. I lowered my hand. He was gone.

I rubbed my chest to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling that had been eating away at me. Why wasn't he angry?

I could handle anger.

Not with rejection.

Fresh tears burned my eyes. I dropped onto the bed. Why did I always have to spoil everything? Just because of that stupid bar of soap. I wish I could just throw it against the wall and forget about it.

I wanted to tell Eros how sorry I was, but his gesture was clear enough. He didn't want to speak to me now. Part of me wanted to run after him to explain myself. But the fear of rejection stopped me.

The tears rolled down my cheeks and soaked into the sheets beneath me. As a distraction, I looked out the window. Outside, darkness had swallowed everything. Not even the stars showed up in the sky.

I got up and walked towards the window. Everything was pitch black and in the distance the wind howled through the forest. I wiped away my tears trying to calm down.

It might be night, but I couldn't sleep with the feeling chaotic inside me.

Not without Eros.

Over the last few days we had become so close that I could no longer do without him. My throat was dry from crying. Maybe some water would help.

I padded out into the hallway. Everything in the house was silent. Only under one of the doors a crack of light fell on the corridor. Behind them someone was pacing up and down.

I could feel it was Eros.

Suddenly he stopped and although the door was between us I could feel the tension. My heart contracted painfully. I couldn't face him like that, crying and with a raspy voice.

Maybe I just felt hurt.

My steps darted down the wooden stairs toward the kitchen. When I reached the bottom, I looked back, but he hadn't left the room.

I opened the door and disappeared into the silence.

I stopped immediately and admired the size of the kitchen. Orange embers shimmered in the huge stone oven. Cooking spoons, pots and other utensils hung above the work surfaces. Small pots of herbs stood next to chopping boards and knives.

"Hello?" suddenly asked a female voice.

I immediately wiped away the last remnants of my tears.

Then a head peeked out with a mop in hand. The woman's brown hair was tied back with some strands pushed behind her ears. From time to time they gleamed gray in the light.

"Oh Luna! What an honour. I was just cleaning up," she said, bowing.

"You're Karen, right?" I asked. "I'm so happy to finally meet you officially."

"That's the way it is. But is everything alright?" she asked, deep wrinkles crossing her face.

Apparently my eyes were still swollen. Her question drew fresh sadness down my throat. I wanted to answer yes, but I didn't trust my voice.

Instead, my vision blurred with new tears.

"Oh honey, come here," she said, putting down the rag and hugging me. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

I was grateful for her warmth, but it only brought more pain to the surface. Silent tears flowed down my cheeks and disappeared into Karen's red checked apron.

The whole thing had affected me more than I had thought.

"Come on, honey. Sit down here."

She led me to a wooden stool and I sat down on it. Then she rushed to the stove and boiled water in a teapot.

I leaned against the wall and watched her movements. Karen pulled out a green tin decorated with a bow from a drawer.

"I just got it yesterday as a gift. He'll bring your fire back."

I smiled at her words. She had a motherly twinkle in her eyes that I hadn't seen in anyone for a long time. The water began to whistle on the fire and Karen poured it into a steaming mug.

"Here, this is a very special tea."

She sat down with me with a mug of her own and blew away the heat. I stared at the beautiful color of the tea, a soft pink.

"It's been a long time since I had tea," I said thoughtfully, before taking a cautious sip.

A gentle aroma soothed my sore throat, I could even taste a hint of sweetness, apple and hibiscus. That was spot on. I immediately took a larger sip.

"It's very good," I said, forcing a grateful smile to my lips.

"He's said to be very good for any ailments," Karen said.

I felt my heart finally slow down again. I closed my eyes and took in as much air as I could fit. A new weariness overcame my muscles.

I actually wanted to confront Eros, but it was as if today had robbed me of all my strength. A few hours ago we were still on the move in the endless ice and now?

"Thank you, Karen," I said after emptying my cup. "I'd better go to sleep now."

"Oh, of course. Good night Luna," she said with a pitying smile.

Did I really look that bad? I walked over to the door before turning around one last time.

"Please call me Ephilia."

The werewolf nodded goodbye. I stepped back into the entryway of the house and took a deep breath. The break did me good. Maybe I could close my eyes now.

I shuffled up the stairs, but instead of dead silence, deep voices penetrated the hallway. I stopped in front of the door for a second.

I didn't want to listen.

I just wanted to hear Ero's voice.

But it wasn't he who spoke first.

"So you're telling me we haven't noticed in all these years?" Beta asked Julien.

"We didn't even notice. They were clever and camouflaged themselves with verbena. This made them invisible to our noses," replied Eros.

I closed my eyes. I tried to swallow but my mouth was as dry as the desert.

"Julien, from now on I want warriors on the border, unobtrusively. I didn't find any footprints, but we're not taking any chances," ordered Eros.

"Will be done. But weren't they almost extinct? Are they really still a threat?" Julien asked.

His words confused my mind. Who are they talking about?

Gamma Johnson answered with a growl.

"Hunters bring trouble."

My eyes shot up.

I beg your pardon?