Chapter 36 A SHIP SAILING NOWHERE

S E G U N

I should have listened to Dipo when he said not to go into the female toilet unless I want to drain the dragon.

If you ask me though, a man only goes into the female toilet for one reason only --- a quickie.

Yeah! Been there, done that.

Now isn't the time for that, anyway.

There's only one thing running through my mind right now as I rap on the door.

How is this going to end?

It could go left pretty fast, and it'll be all my fault.

"Eve! Open the door, immediately!"

Nothing. No movement. No noise. Just me and my overactive imagination.

Why's she taking so long to open up?

Could a guy be in there with her?

Dee?

I rap on it harder until my knuckles are sore, but no one comes to open it.

Just as I curl my hands into a fist, ready to go Shazaam on the door, it opens up to reveal a female.

"Oy! Next time, use the window instead." She lifts a finger, probably to put it in my face, but becomes mesmerised by it instead, as she lifts them up to her own face. She moves forward unsteadily, and then topples over, landing in my arms.

That's when I take a proper look at her face.

Taye.

She gives me a watery smile, and burps a sour smell into my face which has star beer stamped all over it. It's all I can do not to shove her away from me.

"Lemmealone!" She flails her hands like she's suddenly become epileptic. So I do just that, almost falling over her in the process.

A clear case of two drunks.

She burps again, and I make sure to steer clear of the invisible fumes, as she takes an unsteady step backwards and almost topples over, once again. Lucky for her, she rights herself at the last second, and waltzes off giggling away. Actually, I think she stumbles off, but my brain has been dulled with a lot of alcohol, so it's kinda slow right now.

I focus my attention on the door that's ajar, and am taken aback when I see Eve watching me. She moves forward and makes to walk past me, but I stop her.

Lifting up her phone as evidence, I echo words I'm sure won't make much sense to her. "Why? Why is Dee calling your phone?" I lift up her phone higher in the air. "I thought I fixed that motherfucker good? Why does he keep running back to his vomit? Who the fuck does that? Doesn't he know he could fall sick from that shit?" The more I talk, the more I dig myself into a deep grave. If I keep up with this line of questioning I wonder who's gonna get me out of it.

Dipo warned me to talk to her when I was more clear-headed . . . but when have I ever listened to him?

She snatches her phone from me, yes -- snatches, not collects, and it suddenly occurs to me she's guilty as fuck.

But why isn't her gaze soft then?

Why isn't she coming close to me to touch my cheek?

Why isn't she pleading with me in that soft, dulcet tone she always uses when addressing me?

Why the frig isn't she telling me what I fucking want to hear?

Hot anger swells in my chest, and I know I'm about to let loose a barrage of words.

l wish I can stop myself, but I know it's pointless.

They bubble up my throat, and flow out of my mouth like larva.

And you know how hot larva is, right?

"Tell me something, Eve, why didn't you inform me of your barren state?" Immediately the words are out, I know I fucked up real bad. The look on her face is a living testament. Her eyes widen, almost bulging out of their sockets, and her mouth falls wide open.

"H - h- how did you find out?"

"The better question would be why didn't you tell me?" I feel a flush of resentment run through me. I kmow it's all over my face. I can't help it. Unfortunately, she notices.

The shock on her face clears and is quickly replaced with a hardness I've never seen on it before. She cocks her head to the side and lets out a small laugh I know doesn't carry any mirth as she walks out of the toilet and comes close to me.

"That's fresh coming from you, when you know full well it was your errant father who caused it."

All the fight drains out of me and is quickly replaced with shame. It courses through me in leaps and bounds and propels me forward to lift a hand to caress her face, but she moves back and shakes her head.

"Oh no, you don't! You don't get to wash your words away with a pat on my cheek. Not this time, because right now, it's time for some hard facts." A gleam enters her eyes. "It's time you learnt the hard truth."

There's more?

I rock on the balls of my feet as fear does a ricochet in my chest.

Suddenly, I don't want to hear this truth she so readily wants to divulge. All my life I've been an advocate for the truth, but this time, I'm scared it will shatter the very fabric of our relationship. I can feel it. So instead of listening, I shake my head and do a turn around, acting like Taye as I stumble away, but Eve is relentless. She follows me, and blocks my way.

"You're a fucking coward, Aureliano. You say all these wonderful things, calling me a princess, when you know full well even princesses go through challenges. So you better listen up, 'cause this ptincess might turn into a toad in your eyes when you eventually hear what I have to tell you."

I shove her away and begin fast-walking, or fast-stumbling away, take your pick.

Oh yes, I'm a coward, princess. I'm such a fucking coward, I can't stand for you to know I also have my own version of the truth which involves almost having sex with Roxy.

E V E

I watch as he fast-walks away. Big, dark and strong man running away from the truth I've told no one about yet.

So instead, I whisper it. Who knows? Maybe the universe will float it over to him.

"I wish you'd stayed. I wish you would have listened to what I have to tell you, then it wouldn't be my burden alone, it'd be ours. I know. I know this might break us apart, but I don't even care anymore. You have to believe me when I tell you I didn't mean to do it. I really didn't mean to sleep with your father, but he was so persuasive, so smooth, so . . . deceptively good, and I fell. I fell, babe, and now I don't even know if it was your child that got killed, or his."

Tears seep from my eyes and fall unheeded onto my cheeks, but I don't feel bad. If anything, a certain strength I never knew I had, comes over me. I swipe the tears away and decide to behave like Ebere, and show the world a strong veneer, even though inside I'm a sordid mess.

Even though I'm sick and tired of carrying this burden in my heart, I guess I have to carry it for longer now.

I swipe at some more errant tears, and walk towards the hall to look for Taye.

I'm getting her, and we're getting out of here.

Days fly by, yet Aureliano and I still don't talk. We pass each other at work, and act like we don't know each other.

It's not like he hasn't tried to initiate a conversation, but he's either too pig-headed to apologise, or he doesn't see anything wrong with how he treated me at Tom's wedding.

Yes, I know I should have told him I can't have children again, but anyone with a brain would know I was scared to do so because of his reaction.

Well at least the hidden case of the tape recorder and note to Ebere has been solved. But how did that bitch, Roxy, find out about it?"

"You don't look so good, Eve, what's wrong?" Nathan appears out of the blues as I'm logging out for the day.

Somehow, he's able to tell beneath the layers of make-up slathered on my face.

"Ho---"

"--- because you don't normally use all that brown powder stuff females use on their faces. You're beautiful through and through without it, so you must be hiding something on your face."

I haven't been sleeping well.

Instead of saying something, I avert my face, because I'm suddenly tearing up. He finds me beautiful, but my boyfriend of almost one year doesn't even say it to me anymore. We hardly even talk these days. It's so bad, that Dipo called me to settle with him, because he's turned into a complete grouch, snapping at everyone and everything.

"A penny for your thoughts?" Nathan's face comes into focus. Come to think of it, he looks sad and tired, yet here he is focusing on me instead.

"Are you okay? You look peaked. Job getting you down?" I squint against the glare of the sun as we step outside.

He sighs before replying. "There's no job anymore, Eve. Your boyfriend somehow found a way to put a clause in my contract, so I'm out on my ass. It's over!"

That's when I notice the file in his hand. Without thinking, I take it from him and leaf through it. Sure enough, his contract ends today, and it's not even up to the one year period he was initially billed for with A&D.

"This isn't right! He can't do this, I'm going to talk ---"

"Naah! Don't bother. I've already had that discussion with him, and he told me to steer clear of you." He lifts a brow when he says this.

"Steer clear of me, what do you mean?" From the corner of my eyes, I see Segun walking towards us, a thunderous look on his face, so I do something that would definitely piss him off even more.

I link a hand through Nathan's. "Come on, let's get out of here."

Nathan rears back and unlinks our hands. "Um . . . No, thank you very much, I still like my life just fine."

"So you're a coward, then?" It's my turn to lift a brow.

"Since when?" He laughs and laces his fingers in between mine, and we begin running.

I'm quite out of breath when we get to his car. "Why . . . are we running?"

"Look behind you!" As I do so, I see Aurey running towards us.

"Get in!" Nathan orders.

I don't need to be told twice. I jump in, adrenaline running through my veins. Nathan screeches away from the car park, just as Aurey runs to it.

"I don't understand that dude. It's obvious to everyone you two are not talking to each other." When I give him a look, he shrugs. "Hey, don't blame me, once one of you comes within ten feet of the other, it's like you repel each other. That wasn't the case about two weeks ago, yet he goes crazy when he see's you with another guy. "

I dont understand him, either.

"I don't want to go home." I say quietly, angling my body towards him. "Please take me somewhere . . . anywhere where I can forget." I lean my head against the window and gaze outside. "I just want to forget who I am for one night."

"I'm glad you said that. I know this cute little place . . . cereal . . . day . . . night. " His words fade in and out, with thoughts of Aurey, and the problem brewing between us.

Not long after, Nathan's voice breaks into my thoughts as he announces with a flourish. "We're here!"

I lift my head up from the fog of thoughts clouding it and disentangle my fingers from where I'd been gripping the edge of the seat tightly.

Nathan once again takes a hold of my fingers as we come down, and I suddenly regret the free way I've acted with him. This is like adding gasoline to fire. Now he's going to think he has a chance with me when that will clearly never happen. I release my fingers from his grip, and groan into my palms.

"If you don't like it, we could always go someplace else." He assesses me with a mixture of worry and wariness.

"It's fine! We're here already." And we walk into the restaurant, and into a storm of dejavu.

How is it that of all the places in Lagos, we have to arrive at the one place that Segun took me to . . .

Tina's place.

Flashes and flashes of both of us holding hands, kissing, laughing and generally flirting with each other, while Tina clucks and smiles patronisingly at us, swirl round and round in my head.

This place with all it's memories, has my breath almost siezing, as nostalgia tracks it's cloying way up my throat.

I need to get out of here. I need to get out of here fast.

Shaking my head, I begin to inch backwards. "I can't . . . I can't do ----"

"OH MY GOODNESS, I THOUGHT I'D NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN!" Someone shrieks.

Unfortunately, Tina walks towards us with a wide smile on her face. She almost careens into me as she places me on a tight hug. "My girl, you always look more beautiful everytime I see you. Haven't seen you here in a long while, at least not since I met you and Segun doing the nasty some months ago. What have you been up to, and where's my boy?" She says all this without taking a breather. The next thing she does, is poke her head behind me and her chatter stops abruptly.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" Her pose changes instantly, as she puts a hand on her hip and faces Nathan.

"Um . . . we were just about to leave." I say, already turning round, but Nathan blocks my way with a shake of his head.

"Good afternoon ma'am, my name is Nathan, and my friend and I have come to have some drinks. I'm assuming you'll sell to us?"

Tina doesn't say a word, instead she nods in answer. Her demeanor has suddenly changed to one of coldness. Without another word, she turns round, and walks off, leaving me feeling embarrassed.

"I can't stay here. I need to go, I can't ----"

"Let me guess, Segun brought you here and she knows you two together?"

I bob my head, not trusting myself to speak. Emotions are way too strong for me right now.

"I'm here with you. Nothing is going to happen to you, I'll make sure of it. I just need you to relax, please. I'll take care of you."

And that's exactly what I'm afraid of.

But I say nothing and allow myself to be led to a corner seat beside the window. I see Tina following us with her eyes, her initial smile morphed into a frown. She must think I'm a loose woman, changing men willy-nilly. I feel guilty about being here, so I make sure I avoid looking at her.

Once a waitress comes to take our orders, Nathan excuses himself to go to the gents and leaves me alone with my roiling thoughts.

How did my once, simple life get so complicated?

Things seemed simpler before Aurey came into it.

Something lights up from the table, distracting me. It's Nathan's phone. He probably forgot to take it with him. As I reach for it, he slides into his chair and grabs it.

That's a suspicious move if I ever saw one, but I say nothing about it, choosing to ask something else instead.

"How was the toilet?"

He gives me a wierd look.

Yeah, that was pretty lame.

"Is there something you want to ask me, Eve. You can just say it, no need to dance around the bush."

I shrug instead of responding.

Suddenly Aurey's voice booms out in the restaurant, making me stiffen. I look around, fear making me tense, but I don't see him. What I see instead, has me narrowing my eyes.

Nathan has a scared look on his face, as he scrambles to press some buttons on his phone, but it seems it has a mind of it's own, because it refuses to heed his frazzled presses.

"You know marriage isn't just for me, right?" Aurey's voice filters out, loud and clear.

Then Dipo's voice follows next with a question that has me holding my breath. "You don't mean that do you? What about Eve?"

"What about her?" Aurey chuckles.

"Don't you want forever with her?" Dipo persists.

"Being shackled to one woman for the rest of my life . . . Naah!"

On hearing this, all the wind gets knocked out of me.

Suddenly, the voices stop, and Nathan let's out an expletive. "Shit! I'm so sorry . . . "

Aurey doesn't want to get married.

" . . . didn't mean for you to hear that."

He doesn't want to get married to me.

" . . . you alright?"

He's been stringing me along all this while.

I stand up, dizziness engulfing my whole being.

" EVE!"

A thought hits me, so I turn to Nathan. "When was this recording taken?"

"Look, I know you're upset, but please just cal ---"

SLAM!

The table wobbles, and my fingers hurt, but I ignore the pain and face Nathan squarely. I need to know.

"WHEN WAS THE DAMN RECORDING TAKEN?"

He let's out a big sigh and stands up. "At Femi's beach house."

Suddenly I can't breath. I stumble away blindly, not see anything. From the corner of my eyes, I see Tina advancing towards Nathan.

". . . DID YOU DO TO HER?" but I can't hear anymore, as static fills my ears.

I stumble outside, struggling to take deep breaths. I keep walking, not registering where I'm going, until I bump into someone.

"EVE!"

That smell. The cologne.

It's Aurey.

I try to shove away from him, but he holds onto me tight. "Eve, my baby, my princess . . . "

"GET AWAY FROM HER, YOU HEART BREAKER!"

I feel myself been wrenched away from Aurey's chest and I look up to see Nathan with a furious expression on his face.

"What did you just call me?" Aurey whispers, facing him. A vein pops up on his forehead.

Nathan speaks up once again, a hand in the air. "Look man, I don't mean any disrespect, but you need to leave."

"Who the fuck are you to tell me to leave?" Aurey's eyes turn icy, and I involuntary shiver.

"This is not the time for macho egotistical behaviour. Can't you see her? You hurt her, man, now she's a nervous wreck."

I huddle against a car, as different emotions sail through me.

Anger at myself for trusting in a damn playboy. Anger at Aurey for treating me like a string-along, anger at the universe for dealing me with a terrible destiny such as this.

"Yeah, whatever!" Aurey flicks his wrist, cutting Nathan off and effectively shutting him up. I feel bad for Nathan, but that doesn't last long as Aurey turns to look at me, and I almost get lost in his honey - brown eyes.

In a voice dripping with scorn, he addresses me. "So you're going out on a date with this guy?"

My throat clogs up. I'm not able to speak as we stare at each other.

Say something. But then whatever I say won't mean a thing. Aurey will think whatever he wants.

His voice becomes gentle, almost persuasive, even. "Tell me, princess, is he forcing you against your will?"

"Seriously, dude?!" Nathan objects from beside me, throwing his hands up in frustration.

Aurey doesn't acknowledge him and keeps looking at me. Staring, is a better word. He stares at me with piercing intensity, and it's all l can do not to throw myself at him.

Say something. Anything . . .

But my brain has gone on a hiatus, it seems.

He breaks the silence first. "Alright, Eve, enjoy yourself with him, but don't come running back to me." And with those cutting words, he stalks off towards his car, but then stops and turns round. "Nobody's gonna love you the way I did." I flinch as he gets into his car and bangs it shut. He drives off, his tyres protesting badly. I hang my head as tears sting the corner of my eyes.

I stand, for how long I don't know, until warm soothing hands begin tracing lines across my back. Something soft, probably a handkerchief, begins to dot at the tears falling from my eyes.

He doesn't say anything.

He doesn't need to.

Aureliano said it for both of us.

It's officially over.

Even though I knew it was long overdue, why then does my heart feel like it's shattering into a million fragments?