Chapter 37 BEING

N A T H A N

When people call me British, I immediately decry it.

I'm a mixture and a clash of different cultures meshed together to form something confusing. So when someone asks me where I'm from, I always shrug and say it doesn't matter, because we're all human beings under the same sky. And then we'll laugh and move onto other more important things.

So no, I'm not just British, I'm a citizen of the world.

"Hey Nat, how's it going?" I sense the tiredness in her voice. She's probably burying her head in some files.

Talking on the phone with her has never been something I look forward to, mainly because I feel she's not a hundred percent there.

"Working again, I see?" I have to stop myself from chiding her. She always feels guilty that she doesn't have time for me, which is true, but I try not to let her know how much I yearn to talk to her.

"Well, I've got to keep body and soul together." And then silence reigns like it always does whenever we talk.

"Alright! I'll let you do what you like doing best. Talk to you whenever I can ---"

"No, wait! Were you able to see him?"

I sigh before telling her. "Yes, I was."

"And . . .?"

"And nothing. Saw him. The end!"

A long drawn-out sigh is released from her. "Nat! I'm sorry I keep telling you to check up on him, but I miss him, you know."

And the retelling of the tale will start all over again, but I'm not going to let it happen this time around. It makes me puke, having to listen to love sob-stories over and over again.

"Alright, you must be busy. I'll let you be, for now. Call me when you need me, or something."

"I miss him!" She quietly states.

Oh lord, not again!

"Don't d -----"

"Please ----"

I sigh and nod, like she can see me, and resign myself to listen to her rantings.

It's become a ritual for us. Whenever I call, I become her therapist and she becomes my patient, a role she plays exceedingly well, judging from how much she always likes to talk about him. Even though I don't get paid for listening and offering unsolicited advice, I do it anyway, because I know it helps her cope with her loss. The loss of a man who left her and never looked back.

"He was such a funny guy, he ----"

It's been seven long years. Get over him.

As she talks, I deliberately loose trail of her words, and focus instead, on a balloon gliding by. I watch as it gets caught in a nearby shrub. Balloons were a big part of my childhood, or lack of it, so whenever I see one, it always snags my attention and takes me down memory lane.

I force myself back to the present and just in time too, as Rose finishes being a patient and is ready to be my sister, once again.

"So tell me really, how is the job? Still getting naked in front of the camera?" She laughs heartily now, having unburdened her heart.

"Ha ha ha! Laugh all you like, but it pays the bills and brings in tons of money."

There's silence on the line once again, and just like me, I know she's going down memory lane. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, Nat, I'm ----"

"Oy! Stop that this minute, Rose, It wasn't your fault. Life isn't fair, we have to take it for what it i----"

"I know, but you got the short end of the stick. I was lucky. I was older and was able to work to make ends meet, while you had to ---"

"So?"

"You're right, I'm sorry. It's wrong and unhealthy of me to keep dwelling on what happened to you."

I wish you could take your own advice. But aloud, I inject a certain cheer into my voice that I don't feel. "Alright! I've done my good deed for the day by calling you, so I've to go now. Talk to you some other time." And before she can launch into another pity party, I cut the call.

"Who was that?"

I turn round to face her and notice she's already getting up from the bed. "Where are you going?"

"I can't stay here all night, you of all people should know that. It's not right."

"But Eve, I assure you I'm a complete gentleman and will never take advantage of you. This is the best time as any to trust me."

"Who was that on the phone?" Changing the subject is something she likes to do whenever it gets steered towards a discussion concerning both of us. She stands up, and moves to sit in the arm chair near the window. I know she doesn't want to come close to me, and that's alright. I'll give her all the time she needs. I know she'll eventually come around. She has to come around.

My whole plan hinges on it.

"Just . . . someone!" I flick my wrist in dismissal, but I don't say more than that. I'm hoping she buys it. Although, I wonder if she's genuinely asking to know, or if she's asking for the sake of conversation. She's been spaced out ever since the day Segun told her it was over.

And that's why I'm here for her to run into my arms, but she keeps rejecting me instead.

Why can't she see how much I want her?

Everyday like clock work, she comes to see me. She listens to me talk and I try my damnedest to make her laugh, but all she does is stare at me with soulless eyes. I even tried out my best joke - the one that got me an award at the orphanage, yet all that took place was a slight tilt of the corner of her mouth.

When I'd complained about her behaviour, she'd deadpanned me with a look and asked if she should stop coming and I'd panicked and stuttered so bad, I never complained to her again.

She's so near, yet so far away.

She makes me feel so inadequate whenever I'm around her.

It's been a month already, since Segun told her it was over, but all she does is moon around and act like someone died.

She stands up suddenly and walks to the table where an array of pictures are kept. As she runs her fingers across them, my mind races. I hope she doesn't ask any questions about any of them. I should have removed them before she came over, but as usual sentimentality got the better of me.

"Who's this?" Her fingers land on a particular frame.

"Who?" I feign ignorance, as I act busy, fiddling with my phone.

"The woman in the picture, the blonde." I know the picture she's holding. It was taken a few years ago when Rose and I went to the beach.

"That's my . . . "

Riiiiiinng!

Whew! Saved by the phone.

As she picks up her phone, I assess the woman before me.

Exquisitely beautiful, but broken. I feel bad about what happened to her, but I feel worse about how Rose is feeling. Has been feeling all these years.

At first when I agreed to the plan, it was to come to Nigeria and check on him, see how he was living, and if he had any woman in his life. But when I found out about Eve, I just couldn't take my eyes and heart off from her. There's something about her that brings out the protective male instinct in me. Coupled with the fact that she's easy on the eyes. Extremely easy on the eyes, and she doesn't even have to try.

I tried to date other women, but it just didn't work out.

I had to lie to Rose, although I wouldn't call it a lie.

A lie is when you alter the truth, but if you fail to mention it, then . . . technically it's not a lie. It becomes a fail-safe move.

Eve is my omission, or my fail-safe. Call it whatever you like, but Rose doesn't know about her and I aim to keep it that way. She doesn't need to know I'm absolutely smitten with Eve.

Still talking on the phone, Eve excuses herself and walks into the bathroom.

Segun never had a chance against me. When you're brought up in an orphanage and get moved from place to place, you kind of aquire certain street skills no one can teach you.

I smile as I play back the recording. Familiar words begin to sprout from the speaker, words I've listened to many times, waiting for the right time to let it loose. So glad I finally did.

"What about Eve?" Dipo asks.

"What about her?" Segun replies, chuckling.

"Don't you want forever with her?" Dipo persists, surprise lacing his voice.

"Being shackled to one woman for the rest of my life . . . Naah!" Silence ensues thereafter, and then Segun continues. "But she's not just any woman. Eve is my everything. She's my light in the dark, she's the one that makes me smile. She makes life worth living. Would you believe me when I tell you she even makes me forget about my past. Bro . . . she's my fucking everything. So you'd better listen to me when I tell you I don't just want forever with her, I want several lifetimes with her, and a beautiful set of children I know she'll give me."

More silence ensues on the phone, and then Dipo speaks up next. "Wow! That was . . . I'm at a loss for words."

"Yeah! So you ready to be my bestman? Ready to pass the rings to me when we stand in front of the alter?"

This time, Dipo chuckles. "Holla! About damn time, bro, it would be my honour. But Roxy ---"

"Fuck Roxy and any other woman who thinks they can stand in my way. I'm gonna propose to Eve at Tom's wedding. I already talked to about it, and . . ."

The door of the toilet opens, and I stop the recording immediately, as Eve comes back into the room.

Her eyes are red and swollen, and I know she's been crying.

That doofus, Segun, doesn't deserve your tears, baby. Soon, you'll be laying your head on my chest, and I'll be wrapping my arms around that shapely waist of yours, and I guarantee I'll be the only man om your mind then.

"Come here, babe." But she doesn't, so I walk to her instead, and close the gap between us.

She flinches, and moves back. "I've got to go. I've called a taxi, it's outside already." And without any more words, she picks up her stuff and dashes out of the hotel room.

It's been one month already, yet she keeps giving me the round about. Something that annoys me, but I'm a patient man, and I always get what I want. And I'll get you, Eve, even if I have to keep lieing and cheating to do so.

I'll definitely get you.