Chapter 47 WHERE BROKEN DREAMS LIE

S E G U N

TWO YEARS LATER

LAGOS

Ekw107 Destination -- London, Gate C. 2:54pm.

My eyes leave the monitor and swing to check the time on my watch.

Shit!

Just four minutes left to board the plane and I still have to get to gate c which is practically on the other side of the airport.

It's double-up time.

I snatch my boarding pass and passport from the attendant and rush off. By the time I get to gate c, I'm winded. This makes me regret abandoning my rigorous work-outs all this time.

At the gate, another attendant is stationed, palm out, waiting for me to place my credentials in them.

With all these stops and checks, you'd think the security in the country is water tight.

I roll my eyes and hand them over to him. He scans each detail thoroughly and hands them back to me, but just as I extend my hand to collect them, he sights someone who almost rushes past us.

I try, but fail to snatch it from his hand because he begins to wave it around like a flag that it's not and spew abusive words at the miscreant that almost dared pass him. All efforts to rescue my documents thereafter proves abortive. No matter how I try to catch his attention, he acts like I'm invisible.

It's all I can do not to wrench it from his grasp, but I know that will only cause more drama, so I impatiently tap my shoes on the ground and wait for the argument to die a natural death.

The back and forth continues and just as I think I have to do something desperate, their argument siezes abruptly as the offender begins apologising profusely, thereby pacifing the attendant.

Happy the other man has finally been subdued, the attendant turns to me with a happy smile on his face. "You see -- Nigerians are very stubborn, they like to argue a lot. That's why we're still where we are, and ---"

"Can I have my documents back now?" I try to remain patient even though the last call for passengers to board the plane was announced a minute ago.

"Sorry, oga," and with a rueful smile, he hands me my passport and waves me in.

As I rush towards the tarmac, I notice with a sinking heart, the door of tthe plane is about closing, so I raise alarm and plead like my life depends on it.

I must get on that plane come rain or shine.

The hostess taps the watch on her wrist and shakes her head, and my heart sinks to my feet.

As the door closes, I see my opportunity closing as well.

My shoulders droop as I stand like a weather-beaten chicken staring daggers into the ground.

Just as I'm about slinking away, the door opens up and with a smile, she waves me up.

I don't need to be told twice as I bound up the stairs two at a time.

London, here I come.

FOUR HOURS EARLIER.

"This isn't you, bro. You've got to snap out of this black cloud you've put yourself in. Your business needs you, I need you. Your godson needs you." Dipo puts a hand on my shoulder, obviously trying to get a reaction from me but I remain as still as a block of ice. "You've got to live again, bro." He continues. "It's been one year. She's gone."

I'm shocked into silence at how time flew by with no word about Eve. One full year and not even a whiff of her scent. Yet it seems just like yesterday.

She remains alive in my memory. Sometimes I deliberately try to push thoughts of her away so I can see if I'm able to find some peace, but I always come back full circle to thinking about her once again.

"I think it's time you moved on with Tracy and ----"

This time my icy exterior melts, and I look up. In a quiet voice, I address him. "Don't ever say Eve is gone again."

"Then why haven't we found her yet? Its been one year. One year, Segun. Please, we need you."

Adrenaline surges through me propelling me to stand up and stalk off, but I stop at the door way and turn round. "And I need Eve." Then I walk off.

"Chin up, bro. I just need to get this knot right." Femi sends me back to the present with a sharp tug on my tie. To be honest, it feels more like a noose.

"Get that look off your face. It's your wedding day, not your funeral." Dipo stands solidly against the doorway, arms folded in front of him, legs crossed at the ankle.

"It might as well be my funeral, though." I mumble under my breath. "And why are you standing guard by the door?"

I think he's scared I might run away from my own wedding.

"Do you really want me to reply that?" He raises a brow.

I sigh as I loosen the noose around my neck.

He's right.

I've just about cancelled the wedding too many times to count.

When Tracy asked me to marry her, I balked at the idea, thinking I'd be betraying Eve, but the more the days sped by the more the bitter truth stared me solidly in the face . . .

One year turned into two years.

Still, no sign of her.

She wasn't coming back to me.

At that time, Tracy had given up trying to convince me to get married to her after bringing up the subject numerous times.

Mother sat me down one day and begged me to give it a shot.

Those were her exact words. Give it a shot.

I thought about it long and hard. Tracy loves me, granted, but the keys to my heart lie with another woman. Even though said woman was missing -- and as hard and difficult as it is to fathom it --- probably dead as well, but life has to go on.

So instead of proposing to Tracy like other men who truly loved the woman they wanted to spend the rest of their lives would have, I used mother's actual words.

A greater part of me felt she would get offended and say no once and for all, but it actually had the opposite effect.

With a sinking heart, I watched as she broke out in a wide smile. Next thing I knew, she was falling all over me and thanking me profusely for making her the happiest woman on earth. She immediately began making plans for the dreaded day and I was helpless to stop her.

A knock sounds off on the door, wrenching me from my reverie.

Someone pokes his head through it. "We're ready for you, sir." The court clerk announces.

"Atta boy, about time." Femi taps me on the shoulder, and Dipo moves away from the door, but me . . . the sinking feeling in my chest only gets worse.

My two best friends flank me like bodyguards once I step out through the door.

The registry is filled with people, most of whom I don't know. I do a sweep with my eyes and catch Eve's dad standing in front of the pastor waiting for me with an encouraging smile.

He's the one standing in as my father. I was scared he would kick against it when I first approached him with my plea, but he seemed genuinely delighted.

My eyes move away from him and scan the first row of seats, settling on a woman - Eve's mother. She smiles and nods encouragingly at me.

Thankfully, there's no more bad blood between us anymore. She'd taken me aside and told me to make sure I lived my best life with Tracy.

Eve's father away from the cleric and comes to stand in front of me. "Ready?"

I nod, and needing no further nudge, we both walk to the cleric.

He turns to me and gives me a tight hug, and walks back to sit with his wife.

The organ sounds off, with the usual 'here comes the bride' song, and Tracy walks in, wearing a simple white dress and an ear-splitting smile as accompaniment. Mama walks beside her as a stand in for her father.

I can feel Tracy's excitement from across the room. Her eyes are trained solidly on me.

I try, but fail to keep her gaze.

The closer she gets, the further my heart sinks in my chest.

What am I doing?

It seems she senses my uneasiness because she's suddenly by my side and sliding her fingers into mine.

I avoid looking at her and space out as the pastor begins to talk.

Time flies by as I weave in and out of my present reality.

"So what will we name him if we have a boy?" Her smile is as bright as the sun and her dimples are like two flashing stars. She looks so beautiful tonight especially in the sun dress she has on.

I sweep my gaze across her features lovingly before replying. "I'm quite sure we're going to have a girl first, princess. I want her to be a split image of you."

She smiles sweetly and tangles her fingers in mine, and I can't help but take her into my arms as we forget about our surroundings and get lost in the moment.

"Aureliano!" Someone insistently tugs on my hand; wrenching me from the past and anchoring me firmly back to the present.

I blink twice, only to see Tracy staring at me, a flash of worry clouding her face.

No! I can't do this.

Even if she gets to hate me for the rest of my life, I won't marry another woman who isn't Eve.

As I shake my head ready to spill out apologies, Tracy begins to speak in a rush.

"There's something I need to tell you before we become husband and wife."

This time my gaze finds hers. She begins toying with her fingers. She lifts her right hand in the air, and next thing I know, it lands inside her perfectly coiffed hair and gets nestled there. She swipes a hand through it, messing it up in the process.

Why's she nervous?

"Well, um . . . I don't want any secrets to be between us, which is why I want us to start on a clean slate." She removes her hand from her hair and my eyes are drawn to the bangle on her wrist. It's the one mother gave her as a welcome gift into the family. As she mindlessly toys with it, I feel sad because I'm going to have to break mother's heart by not going through with the wedding.

As Tracy's fiddling reaches a crescendo, my heart begins to beat harder in my chest.

I've honestly never seen her get this way. Ever.

"What's wrong? Is this about Mr. Faseun?" I take her hand in mine, my earlier apologies on stopping the wedding forgotten for the time being.

Her palms are clammy.

That's when it dawns on me.

She's scared.

But what does she have to be scared about?

"No, it's not about him." She replies, elicitating a sigh of relief from me.

"Then what's wrong?" I'm getting impatient now.

All around us, the court room has suddenly gone quiet. Not even a whisper breaks out.

I guess they're also as eager as I am to know what secrets she has to divulge.

"Remember I told you my mother gave birth to another child - a son, for Mr. Faseun. Well you've already met him. His name is Nathan."

At first I'm blank. I don't understand who this Nathan is, but then my eyes widen as I recall the only Nathan I know.

The slimeball who was trying to make moves on Eve.

Tracy notices the angry glint in my eyes and holds up a hand to stop me from speaking.

"Please calm down. I have more to tell you." This time she plunges into silence and absolutely refuses to look at me.

Impatience leads to anger. It snakes through my entire being, threatening to erupt, but I keep it at bay and ask in the most patient voice I can muster. "What else is news?"

This time she lifts her head. That's when I notice her eyes are filled with moisture.

"Please . . . don't hate me for what I'm about to tell you, but I won't be able to live with my conscience if we get married and you find out from someone else."

She takes a deep breathe and shocks me into silence with her next words.

"Eve is alive!"