Chapter 14 FLASHBACK OF REGRETS

SEGUN

Three emotions tear through me the moment I wake up and don't find Eve by my side.

Confusion.

Disappointment.

Rage.

I get up and pad out to the sitting room looking for her.

I just need to know what happened between us actually took place and isn't a figment of my imagination.

She's not in the sitting room, so I pad back to the room.

She's probably in the toilet, maybe taking a shower or a dump or - I don't know.

So I knock and wait - no answer.

I decide to check the kitchen...

... I hear women become very emotional and the love hormone starts to mess up their brains and they begin cooking up a storm.

So half - hoping she's there and half - hoping she isn't, I pop my head into the kitchen and...

... nothing.

She's not there.

Strange, but true!

The disappointment that hits me is physically crushing.

I clutch my chest as I double up in pain.

It eases, but just a bit, enough for me to step outside the door to check the compound of the bungalow...

... but all I see outside are a few stray papers blowing in the wind but no Eve in sight.

I go round my small apartment once more, just in case we missed each other or something.

Nothing!

She just uppe'd and left.

Vamoosed!

Disappeared!

Puff . . . into thin air . . .

. . . right from under my nose.

Yes, I slept off immediately after I had the most amazing sex of my entire life - no jokes!

But I'm a guy and this is what happens after sex.

We loose blood.

We loose our essence . . .

. . . plus a little bit of us gets lost . . .

. . . and we become weak . . .

. . . and spent, and we need energising, so we sleep it off to bring back life into our spent bodies . ..

. . . and we eat . . . voraciously!

But I'm not in any mood for food right now.

Standing in the middle of my empty sitting room, I feel the crushing disappointment weighing on my chest once again.

My heart feels heavy, like the sun - has - gone - down - on - the horizon, kinda heavy.

I feel hurt - so damn hurt!

I know I shouldn't feel this way, but damn, I just can't help it.

I've left many a woman before they wake up, I've broken quite a number of hearts, yep, I've also fooled around with lots of women... lots and lots, actually.

But none has made me feel this emotionally empty, this feeling I hoped I'd never experience again.

I just can't believe she left, without a bye your leave.

Not cool Eve, not cool!

Anger sizzles inside me - bitter anger, the kind that makes you want to hit and break things.

The kind that seems fuel has been added to fire.

The kaboom kind of anger!

Needing to get my self under control, needing to figure out what's making me so upset, I put on my track downs, don a white t - shirt, tie up my jogging shoes and walk out the door, with 2pac picking up from where he bought his mother some diamond necklace, through the earpiece stuck in my ear.

I start with some fast walking, but later pick up speed.

I break into a fast run somewhere between my neighborhood and Lekki bridge.

The wind changes, it picks up in earnest fervour but I don't even take notice.

My mind's on auto pilot - I'm blank.

The lines between past and present begin to blur rapidly, taking me back to ...

... Roxy.

From her long black windswept wavy hair, to her perfect face, and her barely - there dress which always stopped mid thigh, she was the epitome of a beautiful tease.

I fell for her the day I set eyes on her...

... I fell hard!!

The I - can't - live - without - you type of hard!

She wound me round her crooked little finger.

I fell - like a foolish, spineless pack of cards and...

The constant honking of a car wrenches me from my past and anchors me right back to the present.

Abusive words flow and ebb around and over my head as people meander and drive their cars past me.

"You wan die abi?"

"See water na, make you jump enter make we rest."

"Ode, mumu!"

"Oloshi!"

Abuses continue to swirl around my head as I jog away from the middle of the bridge.

Roxy...

... no, Eve...

... Roxy...

Shit, I don't know anymore.

One of them will not be the death of me, surely!

I run all the way back home, my lungs almost collapsing as I step in through the door. I take in big gulps of air and rush a glass of water down my parched throat.

Why the heck does life have to be so complicated all of a sudden?

Things were nice and dandy before Eve showed up.

I'm feeling sullen and spent, so I flop unto my bed, my head dangling on the edge, with my legs in the air, just like I used to when I was a little kid.

I feel myself drifting off when my phone rings.

As usual, I don't check who's calling, I just answer it.

"Waddup?" My voice sounds tired and a bit screechy.

"Tick tock King! Today's the last day. What are you doing about it? You scored yet?"

I chuckle, feeling anything but happy right now.

I had almost forgotten about Dipo...

... almost!

"Naah! I'm not doing anything about it. Lies. I don't even want to bang her anymore. More lies. So the bet is off."

Silence...

"Are you trying to tell me you don't want to...."

"... bang her, yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. Worst liar on earth. She looks like the clingy type to me anyway, Not! I don't want any woman trouble, already got loony Chioma on my hands, don't need another."

Worst liar ever!

More silence on the phone.

"I see! Well then, I'm going to bet you my next girlfriend that you don't fall in love with Eve."

He's got to be fucking kidding me!

I spring up from the bed, almost falling down in the process. I begin pacing the length of my room, kicking at errant clothes on the floor.

What's love got to do with this? I moan silently.

Only when he answers, do I realise I said it aloud.

"Don't ask me, ask Tina Turner."

He lets out an empty chuckle. It peters off when I don't join in.

"Dipo, you can't do this. YOU KNOW FULLY WELL IT WON'T END WELL. WHY DO YOU KEEP DWELLING IN THE PAST?"

I'm shouting at this point.

Can't help it!

Dipo's a sucker for emotional pain.

Wasn't my fault she chose me - I've got charm, plus I'm good looking, though I've had to work hard for everything I own.

He's a goody two shoes and things come to him easily...

... except women.

They fall over themselves for me instead.

Fact!!!

And I use them the way I please, the way I deem necessary.

I can't be blamed for that.

I know what I did to him in the past went against the bro code...

... but I was young, reckless and stupid.

"Don't get this twisted Segun. This isn't even about Roxy, so don't bullshit yourself. Prove to me that you're not in love with Eve or you get to have my next girlfriend... for the night."

Fuck, no!!!

He's clearly still thinking of her...

... and my misdemeanor...

... and her.

.... shitty, wretched cycle.

"Dipo! Don't do this, you know you can't...

"... win? That what you were going to say king?"

Still using my fucking nickname - still mad at me!

So I say the next foolish thing that comes to my mind.

"Well let's hope your next girlfriend isn't like Roxy, you know - loose - legged, 'cos I'll get that girl in the sack before she can say bingo."

Long drawn out silence reigns on the phone.

And I realise I messed up preety bad...

... especially when I hear his next statement.

"Wow, king, wow! You'd better bring it, 'cos Eve's best friend is gonna be my next girlfriend - her name's Ebere - ring a bell?"

Say what!?

It's my turn to turn silent.

All I'm able to picture is the horror on Eve's beautiful face when she finds out I slept with her best friend...

... 'cause it'll happen...

... unless I do something to stop it.

.... something like NOT developing feelings for Eve.

Pfft! Easy peasy...

Who am I kidding?

This is going to be difficult!

'cause I suddenly realise that almost getting killed on the bridge today, was as a result of some weird - ass feelings I was beginning to have for Eve.

I say 'was,' because I've got to squash those feelings.

And I haven't felt this way before, except since, ...

... Roxy.

One thing's for sure...

.... I need to make love....

... no, have sex...

.... naa... bang, that's right ...

Just once more...

... I need to fuck Eve soo hard, that all those weird, annoying feelings won't begin to creep under my skin.

Like little bugs...

... they take you unawares when you least expect.

... and I DON'T want to ever get caught napping...