Chapter 15 4

Now that the sex is out of the way, time to play hard to get - simple reverse psychology!

This only works if you know he likes you, otherwise, meeh...

EVE

I'm trying to act interested in this thing, but my minds just not in it.

The guy's been giving too much of his attention. If he weren't such a gentleman, I'd have thought he was too patronising.

Words like ----

Are you okay?

Do you need anything?

What do you think of the food?

Is it too salty?

Can I get you anything else . . . fly out of his mouth.

I feel suffocated!

I shoot him down with a sickly sweet smile pasted on my lips.

This double date thing with Ebere isn't going down well as I thought it would.

She and Chucks have been touchy - touchy ever since we got to this restaurant and sitting opposite them playing lovey - dovey isn't helping matters either.

My blind date thinks he can do same with me . . .

. . . to a stranger you just met, barely an hour ago. . . really?

I've been giving Ebere rescue - me eyes since, but she either doesn't notice because she's too cuddled up with boyfie, or she's pretending.

Either which way, it's a loose - loose situation for me.

Why in the world she thinks it's okay for me to get saddled with an overbearing stranger is beyond me.

Speaking of overbearing strangers. . .

He moves close to me and I skitter away. . .

He moves close, yet again and I move three inches away from him.

I glance at him from the corner of my eyes and notice he looks exasperated.

Please get so exasperated and waltz out that door.

Ebere suddenly looks over at the two of us.

"Hello you two love bunnies, everything fine?"

Huh?!

Has she gone off her rockers or what?

She sounds like a mama bird, chirping away at her babies.

I scowl at her and she smiles at me.

I know what that smile means. . .Time for a lecture!

Turning to her boyfriend, she smiles sweetly.

"Baby... Eve and I want to use the ladies real quick, we'll be back."

And grabbing my hand, she throws a smile at the overbearing stranger and hoists me up with the strength of a man.

Savage!

We're barely in the toilet when she rounds up on me.

"What are you trying to prove to that nice man out there?"

Her eyes are blazing - she's angry and I don't understand why.

I should be the one laying one on her, not the other way round.

I cock my head, place one hand on my hip, not trusting myself to speak, because if I do, I just might regret what I'll say.

She sighs audibly and caves in on herself.

"Look Eve, I'm only trying to help you. You can't afford to moon over Segun. Okay I'm sorry I sprung that nice man outside on you without informing you."

She flails her hands around like a crazy person, trying to explain herself better.

I lift one eyebrow up.

"Ya think? You call me, tell me to dress up and meet you here and voila, I get hitched at the hip to a stranger I know nothing about. Who does that?"

"I'm sorry bestie, but I just want you to go out with other men so that all those emotions you've got stored up for one person can be evenly distributed."

What in this world is she yapping about now?

"It's simple logic, girl - after you and Segun had sex and you made yourself scarce, he would obviously wonder what in the hell happened to make you not stay back. He's ego is this huge." She puts her two hands on either side of each other to indicate, leaving a chunk of space in between them. "Naturally, he won't be able to take it, he'll wonder what he did to deserve being walked out on the way you did and he'll want to see you again..

. . . desperately."

I'm about to ask her how she knows all these things, when my phone suddenly rings.

I whip it out of my purse and stare open - mouthed at my phone.

Batman's name is splayed out in bold letters on the screen. . .

. . . and it hasn't even been up to 24 hours since we saw each other last.

Ebere lifts her hands up in question, mouthing a 'who is it', which is strange because it's not like he can hear us - I haven't picked up the call yet.

I bevel my phone towards her and she frowns. Finding her voice, she asks:

"You know Batman?"

I roll my eyes. Like how dumb can she be?

"I call Segun, Batman, have you forgotten? Segun's the one calling."

I scoff, turning my attention back to my phone.

As I make to answer the call, she snatches the phone from me with a devilish shake of her head.

Sometimes I think Ebere is a fairy god - mother ---- an evil one!

She weaves all these fantastic tales about relationship commandments - what to do and what not to do, but she makes me suffer in the process, like now. . .

. . . she won't let me answer Batman's call.

She shakes her head in disappointment at me and smacks her lips together, making her red lipstick even more shiny, if that were possible.

"Girl! What am I going to do with you?"

I'm sure the scowl on my face is enough answer for her.

My phone stops ringing and I grab at it, but she easily swats my hand aside.

"Give me my phone in one, two . . ."

" . . . three. Nope! Not giving you." She finishes.

See --- she's evil!

"What do you plan on achieving by holding unto it?"

"Wait for it!" She replies, shushing me, one finger on her lips.

She's officially cookoo!

As if on cue, my phone begins to ring again, and she smiles triumphantly.

She shows me who's calling and it's Batman once again.

I reach out to grab my phone, but she moves back and dodges.

How is it that I'm not able to collect my phone from this crazed girl who is wayyy shorter than me.

She's like the female version of Jackie chan, as we weave a kind of dance, with me lunging for my phone and her dodging and moving left or right to avoid me getting a hold of it.

I realise she's not going to give it to me until she's satisfied some crazy logic in her head, so I lean against the sink 'cos I'm sweating out at this point.

Batman has called about four times now and all I want to do is speak to him.

Yesterday was craaaaazyy!

That man can kiss like there's no tommorow.

Sheesh!

Sweet, slow kisses that built up to feverish one's.

He worked my body, touching me in places I never even knew could give me satisfaction.

Ebere notices I've seized fire and she leans on the sink beside me.

"So. . ." She starts. I know where this is heading and I'm so NOT ready for it. "How was it? And before you go evasive on me like you always do, I'll have you know that I've got rights in your sex life."

"Excuse me?" I gape at her.

"Yeah, I mean I advised you on what to do, otherwise your caramel ass woulda still stayed put on his bed yesterday giving him googly eyes." She looks at me, all smiles. "You know I always got your back, right?"

I smile right back at her - No words needed here.

"Now spit it out. Don't think I'm going to let you off the hook. How was the sex? Did he show you his goods? Is it big? On a scale of 1 - 10, what is he?"

With fire - cracker lightening speed, I spit out. "He's a 12!"

"Dayuuuuummmmm! For real, for real?"

"Yeah! For real, for real." I echo.

"Shit!" She exclaims.

"I know, right!"

We giggle like maniacs high on crack for the first time.

"So... give me details... every last one."

I sigh, my throat clogging up.

I don't know how to put into words the way I felt yesterday.

Where would I even start from?

Batman isn't the person he's painted himself out to be.

Yesterday . . . he was gentle, sweet and considerate.

He'd stop and ask if his pace was too rough or fast for me 'cause that man is big --- scratch that, he's huge and he knows how to work it.

And he was deliberate . . . and slow, to the point where I'd held unto the sheets, gritted my teeth and told him to pick up speed. . .

. . . yet. . . he'd stalled, like he didn't want to hurt me.

But I'd urged him on by moving my hips.

And a flame had ignited in his eyes.

He'd gotten the message. . .

. . . and . . . wow!

Ebere stills by my side, her eyes going wide as saucers as she looks up at me.

"Hold up! It was that good?"

I bob my head up and down like a rag doll.

Silence reigns for some seconds with the exception of the occasional drip - drip from the faucet behind us.

She pops her knuckles, bringing me out of my reverie.

And I know. . .

. . . l just know, another lecture is around the corner.

"Babes, it's not peaches and cream from here on out, hope you know that?" Without waiting for an answer, she surges ahead. "Now's the time to seal the deal - don't pick his calls -----"

"Ever again?" I interrupt, holding my breath and feeling scared of her reply.

"Yet." She finishes, and I exhale slowly. "You gotta act too busy for him. An hour from now, drop him a text telling him you saw his missed calls, but you've been swamped with work, but you'll get back to him when you can. Keep it impersonal and short, just like you'd text a colleague or an acquaintance, then seat back and watch him fall to pieces."

I whistle through my teeth even though I sound like a train wreck but I mean - you get the point.

This girl is freaking amazing!!!

I take back what I said about her being an evil fairy god mother.

She's not evil . . .

. . . neither is she a fairy god - mother.

She's my soul sister . . .

. . . and I love her.

I bundle her up in a hug and she mutters into my top.

"Don't worry, we'll catch him."

This sets me into a fit of giggles because she makes it sound like we're about to catch a thief.

Maybe he is a thief . . .

. . . a heart thief, 'cause I feel like I dropped a piece of my heart with him yesterday.

This. is. bad.

I say nothing as we touch up our make up, occasionally making wierd faces at each other through the mirror.

"Have you ever smoked Mary - j?" The question comes out of nowhere and I regret it the minute it spills from my lips but she heard it and she turns 180 degrees towards me, a shocked look on her face.

"You want to smoke weed?"

There's a smile on her lips now.

This isn't good.

I shake my head, already protesting. "That isn't the question I asked and you know it."

"Girl, if you ask that kinda question, it only means one thing - you want to have a taste."

I sigh exasperatingly.

"So have you?"

I wait, lifting an eye brow expecting a response, instead - a cloudy look takes over her face and she seems lost.

I give her a minute because I know she's probably relieving her past.

Ebere had a tumultuous relationship while in the university - I'm talking about beatings and getting rushed to the hospital in a coma while pregnant. . .

... all because of love.

Till today I can never understand why couples live together while in school.

It's a recipe for disaster if you ask me.

I gather her into another hug when I notice tears pooling in her eyes.

Once upon a time, she wasn't this boisterous.

I know how many times I had to stay by her side while holding her hand, nursing her back to health.

... all because of a violent, low down dirty shameless twerp...

... who calls himself - a man.

Real men don't auction out women!

- A real man doesn't leave his girlfriend half dead from hard drugs in the house paid for, by her.

- A real man doesn't mess around with his own cousin.

Yup...

... incest of the lowest order.

Smh!

She disentangles herself from me, clutches my hand in hers and looks at me with tears trailing down her cheeks.

"Thank you, for ----"

"There's nothing to thank me for." I interrupt her, smiling. "That's what best friends are for, don't you forget that."

A soulful song begins playing, confusing us and breaking up our emotional drama.

I recognise the song - Sade Ade's 'Is it a crime.'

Sounds like it's coming from a phone. She looks at my phone still in her hand and gives it back to me.

It's blank - no one's calling.

If it's not mine, who's phone is ringing?

And that song.

She feverishly searches her body and whips out her phone from her bra.

Eww.

She looks at it, a slow smile flittering across her face, lighting it up from within.

I've never seen such joy on her face before, not even when she's with Chucks, her boyfriend.

I narrow my eyes at her.

"Hi!" She giggles into the phone like there's no tommorow.

Who could she be talking to?

Only a man can make her act this doe - eyed.

Only one way to find out. . .

I move away from her with the intention of walking away, but I turn round at the last minute and lunge at her, snatching the phone clean from her hand.

Payback's a real bitch!

I clutch the phone to my ear, just in time to hear a man saying.

". . . was amazing. You know we should do this again. Me, you, the bed . . . naked."

Woooo. Too much info.

I'm about handing her back her phone when I hear him drop another bomb.

"Eve doesn't know anything about our plans yet, does she?"

At the mention of my name, the phone slips from my fingers and clatters unto the floor.

"Hello, hello!"

Words echo from the fallen phone, there's static then the line suddenly goes dead.

I'm staring aghast at Ebere who is trying her best to look at anything but me.

Shock ... and guilt is splayed all over her face.

She looks like a child that's been caught red handed stealing meat from her mother's cooking pot.

"Who was that?"

Her mouth opens but no words come out. . .

. . quite like a fish inside water.

See that's the problem with secrets.

They eventually spill, no matter how much you try to hide them.

. . . and when they do, they leave a mess.

I move close to her. "Lets try this again - Three questions - Who was that on the phone? Why did he mention my name? And what plans is he talking about? And that ring tone --- seriously? So you love this man now?"

"That's five questions." She replies, smiling up at me, but when she see's the impassive look on my face, the smile wipes off from her's.

She tries flitting past me, but I stand solid, blocking her way.

She lifts guilty stricken eyes to me. . .

And I see a new emotion swirling.

Fear.

Why would she be scared?

"You don't understand... It's not what you think." She starts.

"See that's the thing, I'm not thinking anything . . . yet. Unless you give me a reason to. Now are you going to tell me or do I have to beg the truth out of you?"

She sighs and lifts her hands in the air placatingly.

"Promise me you won't get mad at me if I tell you?"

"Not if, Ebere. . . when." I reply. She knows I'm getting impatient.

I begin tapping my heels impatiently.

"Dipo's the one who called."

She see's my confused look and rushes to explain further.

"He's Segun's friend, the one we met at the wedding."

I'm still in the clouds about who Dipo is.

"The one you danced with."

Recognition filters into my mind.

Yeah, I remember him now. The one who indirectly told Ebere, Segun was sleeping with Chioma.

"Go on." I cock my head to the side, waiting for further explanations.

"Well... we were planning a trip of some sort with the four of us, you, me, Segun and Dipo because -----"

"Hold on, hold on! I'm really missing the bigger picture here. You and Dipo going on a trip, as . . . what exactly?"

She fiddles with the edge of her short dress and avoids my eyes.

Not a good sign.

"Is this what I think it is?"

She visibly flinches, but remains silent.

"If you don't tell me now, so help me God, I will walk up to Chucks this minute and tell him you're two - timing him."

"Okay okay, relax geez! Dipo and I are ... " She throws up her hands in the air and brings them defeatedly down by her side. "I don't know what we are."

"SO YOU TWO HAVE HAD SEX?" I screech.

It's so true about the saying --- silence speaks far greater than words.

Her silence is deafening.

She puts her head down, inspecting her shoes and avoiding my eyes.

I'd like to think she's searching for the answers on the floor, but she already knows them.

She just chooses to say nothing.

"You of all people know what you went through Ebere. Why would you want to do this to Chucks Cheating on your boyfriend is a no - no in my books, doesn't matter who it's with."

She flinches at my words but I don't care.

I'm shouting now, not caring if someone else is in the toilet.

Something clatters to the floor and we both start, looking around.

Someone coughs and one of the stall door opens and out comes a lady. She looks at us and I see a kaleidoscope of emotions on her face.

But one sticks out...

... Shock.

She washes her hands under the tap as we both watch and she quietly exits the toilet without saying anything.

Note to self - Check toilet stalls first before discussing private issues in a public bathroom.

I turn back to Ebere and she steps closer to me, puts one hand on my shoulder placatingly and smiles sheepishly.

"I'm sorry."

What exactly is she apologising for?

"Tell that to your boyfriend outside. He needs it more."