Killian

My heart wasn't made of stone. It was just like everyone else's, and right now, it hammered against my ribs so painfully I was sure I'd die.

But I didn't stop.

I squeezed the stirring wheel as I sped down the freeway, trying to exhaust myself, trying not to think. I was running—away from my life, away from my thoughts, away from Hope.

The look on her face when I'd zoomed off taunted me. Hearing the pain in her voice as she begged me to stay wounded my heart. It felt like someone had cracked open my ribs and gripped my beating heart in their hands only to nearly squeeze the life out of it.

The guilt ate me alive. I shouldn't have left her that way, but despite the pain, I did it because I was hurting, because I was scared that if I stayed, I'd only be caging her. I couldn't do that. I couldn't hurt her any more than I already had. So I wanted to go. I wanted to go back to my life where she meant nothing to me.

But how could I ever do that when she'd taken up all the space there was left in my heart?

Grief wracked my body. My hands trembled on the wheel as I drove faster, feeling the choking heat swell over me, so much that breathing became a hassle.

A part of me wondered if I was a coward for leaving—if I was foolish for letting Scott get in my head.

You're too toxic. If you stay in her life she's never going to be happy.

His words burned into my mind.

My sister deserves better. Not a man like you. One with a crappy history and an inability to love.

My throat felt like it'd been swelling up more with every word he'd said, and my chest was so taut that I was being suffocated by my own emotions.

What the hell did he know about my life?

I drove faster, gripping the wheel so tightly my knuckles turned white.

What the hell did he know about me?

Sweat dripped down my face, stinging my bruised eye. Fuck. Flashes of my memories with Hope flickered through my mind. The times we spent huddled on the couch watching her favorite soap opera. The times when she kissed me before bed and thought I wasn't aware. The times I walked in on her dancing in the kitchen.

My lungs clogged. I was choking on air. I brought the car to a screeching halt In the middle of the road and slopped my head to rest on the wheel, tuning out the loud wails and hunks of cars coming from outside.

I squeezed my eyes shut, heaving in heavy breaths, lost in the war between my mind and my heart.

I was scared, fuck I was scared but beneath all of that fear, there was one thing I was more afraid of. I was more afraid of waking up and knowing she and my baby weren't in my life anymore. I was terrified that, one day, I'd look into her eyes again and see everything we could've been.

I raised my head and started the engine. It didn't matter what Scott thought about me, it didn't matter if she was moving miles away from me. I loved her and she loved me and that was worth fighting for.

I battled back my swirling emotions and turned my car around.

I wasn't letting her go ever again. She, the baby—they were mine. They were my family. They were all I had.

The drive back to her apartment was a haze of speed. I didn't realize when I rushed out of the car and climbed the stairs up to her apartment door.

It was locked.

"Baby, it's me open up!" I yelled, banging on the door. "Hope!" My dread and anxiety were nipping with every second that passed. If she rejected me again, I wasn't sure I'd be able to handle it.

"Hope, baby!" I yelled desperately. "I'm sorry for leaving, please open up!"

When I got no reply, I immediately picked up my phone and dialed her number. It kept ringing but went to voicemail. I dialed it again, pacing around her door. When it went to voicemail for the fourth time, I wrote out a text.

Hope, where are you?

There was no answer. I texted again.

I need to see you. Please, if you're in here let me in.

For the next two minutes, there was no reply. I glanced at my watch, barely registering time. I was going crazy. I leaned against the door. God where the hell could she —

"She's not in."

I swiveled around immediately to see a man dressed in a monk ensemble staring at me. "The lady you're looking for. She's not in." He repeated.

I stared at the door and stared back at him with my heart constricting. Was I too late? "Do you have any idea where she went?"

He pursed his lip, looked me over, and then spoke. "I don't know where she went but I did see her leaving with another man. She looked like she was in pain."

Pain?

"What-what do you mean she was in pain?"

"That's all I know." He said and turned to leave.

Shit shit shit.

I ran back down the stairs and out of the house.

I dialed Brad's number. It rang.

"Hey, what's—"

"I need you to track Hope's cellphone." I cut him, racing down to my car.

"Why do you suddenly need to track her?"

"Don't ask questions." My heart was racing with anticipation. If I had to wait much longer to see her, it might explode. "Just do it!"

I hung up and started up my car, waiting for his ping and when it came, I drove for what felt like the longest minutes of my life.

Brad was conversing with someone in the parking lot when I arrived. Sure enough, they stopped talking the moment I made my way toward them. Brad glanced at me. "What happened to your face?" He grimaced but I was in no mood.

"Where is she?" I breathed almost roughly, skipping the pleasantries. "Where's Hope?"

He held my hand and pulled me to a corner. "You need to calm your nerves."

"I'm calm." I spelled out grimly. "Where is she? Tell me now."

"You need to rel-"

"I said I am fucking calm! just tell me where she is!" I snapped, nearly on the verge of losing my wits.

Brad let out a long breath and raked his hand through his hair. "She's on the 9th floor."

I turned to leave but he gripped my hand to hold me back. "Killian, she's having the baby right now."

Blood pounded in my ear at his words. I turned. "What do you mean she's having the baby right now, it's not her time yet."

"The staff said when they rushed her in, her water already broke and she was bleeding." He brushed his hand over his face. "This is so fucking complicated."

My heart was racing. I left him and started running towards the entrance door. I didn't look to see if he was coming behind me, I just ran, flying up the stairs and climbing as fast as I could even if my legs refused to work.

My lungs burned. I staggered into the 9th floor, my vision tunneling as I leaned down with hands on my knees and heaved in heavy breaths.

"Killian?"

When I looked up and saw Scott staring at me with surprise, my fear was instantly replaced with hostility and I hadn't realized what I was doing yet until he was on the ground and I was on top of him, hitting and punching with murderous rage. "What the hell did you do to my wife you fucking moron?!

"Killian stop it!" Brad exclaimed behind me but I had lost all rationality.

"I swear to God if anything happens to my wife and child, you're dead!"

I felt hard hands pulling me away from his almost lifeless body. I kicked and barked, forcing him to let me go. "I'll end you, Scott!" I swore. "I swear to God your blood will be on my fucking hands!"

He staggered to his feet, trying to regain composure as he wiped his badly bruised mouth and took in deep breaths. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

"Killian, you need to get your shit together." Brad scolded, holding me firm but I broke free and shoved him out of the way.

"You didn't mean for any of this to happen?" I smashed him up against the wall with two sets of hands around his throat.

"We were happy, Scott." He was gasping for breath, coughing hard but I didn't care. I had no shred of sympathy left. "We were happy before you fucking showed up, you moron!"

"Killian!" Brad scolded. "Stop!"

"No!" I retorted, squeezing his throat tighter as white-hot hatred bubbled in my stomach.

"Killian..." He struggled, almost out of breath. Fuck, the rage I hadn't felt in years dominated me. I had never wanted to kill someone with as much zeal as I wanted to kill him.

"I'm sorry." He choked out, just about when the door opened and the moment I heard Hope's screams resonate through the door, my blood turned to ice. I let him go, all fight in me gone as I turned to the nurse who stared at us with fright.

"How-how is she?" I choked out. "Is she okay?"

The silence that stretched was like an icy hand crawling down my spine. I couldn't take it and that look on her face like she was trying to withhold information from me only pushed me over to the edge.

"Please, I need to know she's alright."

"Her contractions keep coming but she's unable to push. We fear that something bad might happen if she doesn't."

Those words were like the blade of a knife slicing between my heart. "Can I go in? I need to be in there with her. She needs to know that I'm here."

"Are you the husband?"

I nodded quickly. "Yes, that's me."

"Follow me then."