Chapter 21 E U D A I M O N I A

E U D A I M O N I A

(Greek) (n). a contented state of being happy and healthy and prosperous.

The hardest part in leaving was not what you had left behind, but the thought that you could had spent a whole lifetime with the person you had left behind. And that was Eunae felt for the first few years when she packed her bags and flew to New York, leaving everything and everyone behind.

The aftermath of having a broken heart was truly devastating. She was back to square one in trying to figure out who she really was, what she really wanted, and what she really needed.

To put it simply, finding the pieces of herself she had lost was too tedious. It was waking up every single day questioning where she should begin only to be met by the same question the next morning.

It was hard trying to figure out what she should do since just like love, school had never taught how to fix a heart cracked in two.

For the first few months, Eunae felt as if she was thrown into the waters without having any skill to swim and save herself. She was left to figure out things on her own and how to keep her head above the waters.

She made use of textbooks, magazines, excerpts, stories and almost materials to know the basics on how to heal a broken heart, but none of them helped her. She was always dubbed as a fast learner, but she doubted that title when she could not easily follow the steps from the materials she read.

Months had already passed yet she was still wallowing with the pain inflicted by her past, and she could not drag herself back to the shallows. Being ineffective, she eventually grew tired of the routine and eventually stepped out of the house, finding a job to clear her mind.

Eunae purposely applied as a teacher's aide in a day care center just a few blocks away from her home.

Not wanting to be remined of the past, handling their family business was not option during those times. That was the reason why her mother solely took over their company, while she engrossed herself with taking care of kids from 8:00 AM in the morning until 5:00 PM in the afternoon.

Opposed to the written materials, being surrounded by kids turned out as a great help for her situation. Nine hours of being stuck with children never tired her. If anything, it just boosted her energy to the maximum and made her happy.

At some point, it even took away her lingering thoughts on the past. Working as a teacher's aide became her therapy. It was a great pill, so to speak.

Day after day, she found herself slowly recovering, and soon after, found the lost pieces she had lost. Although she was spending more time alone to know herself better, she never forgot to make time for her mother.

They both made sure they got to bond whenever Eunha was not piled up with business matters. Eunae had also began to treat herself more by going in domestic and international trips, food trips, and even simple pampering of her body of going to the salon every weekend.

Through her small baby steps, she was certain she was walking towards healing. She took her time savoring the moments every time she discovered a piece of herself because why not? It felt nice and rewarding-something she was very proud of.

Eunae was more than happy for her progress that after a year, she was even able to genuinely smile at the people around her without having any thoughts swirling at the back of her mind. She began to live a carefree life and surrounded herself with pure genuine love she received from her mother, the kids she was taking care of, workmates in the day care center, and parents of the kids at school whom she grew to love as well.

Everything was going well. She was at the point of her life where she could honestly say she was the happiest, but never did she know that this was just the start-that the happiest peak of her life was just yet to come and find her.

"How are you, little sunset?" Two thumbs caressing her tired swollen eyes instantly made her heart melt. The thumbs of the person who made her reach the happiest point of her life.

"How's your talk with Jaehyun?" he added. "I hope Mark and I didn't interrupt you to tell him what you've been meaning to."

Eunae shook her head and leaned to his touch as she closed her eyes and smiled sweetly. Years have passed yet his simple touch would never fail to put her heart at ease-a simple gesture she swore she would never take for granted.

"That's good," Sehun said.

Her eyes immediately shot open as soon as she did not feel his thumbs any longer. Just as she was about to speak, her heart did that talking when she saw him tugging her seatbelt and strapping it on her, before leaning and giving her a chaste kiss on the forehead.

"I hope those conversations were worth of your tears," he said, cupped her cheeks and looking at her longingly.

"They were," she wrapped her hands in his, keeping them on her cheeks. "We're fine now, and I've forgiven him with all my heart."

Eunae closed her eyes as her world spun when Sehun leaned in and captured her lips. It was a breathtaking kiss that lasted for a good few second but felt like an hour of unending comfort. He placed the tip of his nose against hers and she loved the minty breath that fanned her lips.

"Good. I'm proud of you," Sehun mumbled, kissing her for the second time. "You're really a superwoman, aren't you?"

Eunae shook her head and laughed, enjoying the moment they were having, "I am one because of you."

"No," Sehun countered, his thumbs running along her swollen under eyes, trying to soothe them. "You're already one even before I met you."

"I wasn't," she shook her head. "I was weak when you met me for the first time, and I was still weak when you found me in New York," she tilted her head quite a little to give Sehun more access to run his thumb underneath her eyes yet she found herself chuckling when he kissed her eyelids instead.

"You weren't weak," he rebuffed. "If battling your demons alone in the dark is a sign of being weak, then I don't know what being strong is."

No words came out from her mouth, yet Sehun understood her-probably one of the precious things she loved and was very grateful for-finding someone who would hear and understand her silence.

In that moment, a surge of gratitude and love swamped her all at once that they pricked her eyes. She could not help it, maybe it was all the pregnancy hormones to blame for.

"Do I really deserve you?" She asked softly.

Up until today, Eunae could not believe that she found Sehun.

That she found a love so consuming, but in a very positive way, contrary to the love she had for Jaehyun. She still could not fathom how she was able to receive such affection and care from someone that seemed to love her more.

A love that she never dreamt of having because it was over and beyond what she had ever dreamt of.

A love that was more than healing. More than saving. More than keeping.

"Shouldn't I be the one to ask that?" His tone oozing with honey and gentleness. "Do you think I deserve to have you? To be loved by such a strong and selfless woman like you? You were more than I ever hoped for to find in this lifetime, little sunset. You're everything and more than what I thought someone like me could ever deserve to hold."

Eunae shook her head as she bit the tears coming up, "You deserve more than anything in this world, Sehun. You deserve someone stronger than me, someone who is far more enough than who I am."

Suddenly, Eunae caught her breath in surprise when he kissed her with fervor. His tongue exploring her mouth as if he wanted to erase every bit of word she just said.

"And you, by far, is the epitome of what strong is. You're the strongest woman I've ever met. And you proved that when you loved him selflessly. Because when you had nothing else to give, you still gave him love-the love you're supposed to give to yourself, and that sacrifice alone was more than enough," Sehun reminded her, almost breathless with the lipstick smearing kiss he gave her.

"You were broken open, but that didn't stop you from loving again. From giving love a chance and at the same time invite heartbreak to hit you once again. You gave me a chance to love you, little sunset," he whispered, his thumb running along her lip. "You risked your heart from being vulnerable and if that's not a declaration of what being strong is then I don't know what it is. You're always and will forever be more than enough for me."

The tears that she tried to keep at bay began to fall one by one and streaked her cheeks.

But Eunae was far too gone to notice them as Sehun dived back and seized her lips earnestly, almost bordering hungrily almost as if he did not kiss her just a few moments ago. Instantly, love swamped her off her feet, and she basked in the overflowing affection Sehun was pouring her with.

Sehun was one of the very few pillars in her life.

He found her again when she was in New York and was struggling to start anew. He offered a hand to help her get back on her feet, but she declined, wanting to stand on her own and not be dependent on anyone else again.

She did not want history to repeat itself, when she relied too much on someone to help her bounce back that when he decided to cut her off from his life, she was left scrambling to live on her own.

Sehun did not take her rejection pessimistically and was rather even amused with her strength and determination. He stood by her side and guided her when needed without having to hear something from her.

He did it out of care, and later, out of love.

Eunae was not dumb not to figure it out.

He was giving her what she needed and what she wanted without even asking him to. He was able to easily see through her and took care of her to the utmost he could, and she knew they all meant.

But Eunae did not want to let him in when her heart was not yet fully pieced back together. When there were still fragments of her past love settling inside.

And Sehun understood that, so he waited by the side as patiently as he could until she was finally okay.

And that was when Jaehyun's name did not slip from her lips, and his face did not cross her mind any longer.

There came a time when she did not see him anymore, not even in her dreams.

It was just as if he wasn't just there any longer neither did he consume her entire being like how he used to.

She remembered the things they did, and they were the kind of fleeting moments she used to have. But she did not stay on those moments anymore-she remained in the moment she was in.

Day after day, she realized that other men existed. That a guy like Sehun existed. That Jaehyun wasn't the only man in the world.

And day after day she was reminded that she, too, was enough-more than enough to be loved than she never thought she could ever be.

And as she laid herself down to sleep every night and looked back at the things she had done for the day, the thought of moving on always sparked inside of her, like a light on a matching stick thriving to keep on burning, striving to provide light and hope.

As time went on, she thought of him less and less. Her tears turned into anger turned into healing and eventually turned into freedom. The pain of heartbreak and self-doubt that once loomed over her head ultimately disappeared like dust in the air as if they never existed.

She learned to listen to the songs they both used to jam on the radio without breaking apart. She began to wake up every morning without breaking down. She eventually missed him in ways that did not cause her anguish but care.

And one night, while gazing at the star, with her heart and with her mind, she wished him well. Hoping that one day she would see him smiling again, wishing him anything and everything except harm, and that he would be able to move on too and live a life that he had always wanted.

That night, she fully let him go as she successfully reclaimed the very last part of herself. The last piece she once gave and had lost in him.

And the next day, Eunae finally welcomed love with open arms.

She allowed love to conquer her heart again. She gave love another chance in the form of Sehun-the new love she knew she would hold onto and keep forever until her last breath.

It was him who made her realize that there was nothing wrong with wanting a relationship that was filled with depth, intellect, understanding, and selflessness. It was Sehun who made her feel she too could be loved and that she was always and would forever be more than enough.

The passionate kiss lasted for a few minutes before Sehun eventually let her go as she thumped his chest to gasp for air.

"Don't you ever belittle yourself again. Stop thinking you're not enough when you're more than enough than anything in this goddamn world. This world doesn't even deserve you," he said firmly yet lovingly as she gasped for air and bathe in the love surrounding her.

Eunae bobbed her head and pecked his lips before fixing her seatbelt. She could not hide the smile on her lips with how Sehun treasured her as if she were not some worldly possession, he could compare to anything. It was one of the things he had always loved about him.

Peeking at the mirror, her heart danced seeing Mark sleeping soundly at the backseat. It was just like yesterday when he was in her arms, so vulnerable and dependent, but now here he was, managing to be on his own and even taking care of her and his siblings at such a young age.

Who would have thought that her dreams could come into life and she would be able to have a family she could proudly say her own? That she did not know as well and every single day, she was still wondering how it happened-how she was able to find Sehun who made her dreams come true.

"A kiss for your thoughts?"

Eunae burst out laughing as they drove towards their home. Sehun had always used this phrase to have a glimpse of what she was thinking, and it never failed to make her give in.

"Can't do that, you're driving," she said, still chuckling.

Eunae could still not forget the first time Sehun used that phrase with her.

It was their first date and she was wondering if her meal had some ingredient, she was allergic to when he suddenly blurted it out. It took her a minute to recover from laughing before asking him what was up with his pickup line, and Sehun revealed that it was something he and only he could offer.

She later understood it more when he said that he did not have to offer her a penny when she likely had tons of it, so he would just give her something she badly needed. She could still remember how she rolled her eyes at him, teasing him that it was probably him who actually needed it and before she could even process his answer, she found herself melting when he captured her lips in a very quick and soft kiss, she knew she would never forget.

"I can give you that at home," she rolled her eyes at him as he said it teasingly. "Or I can give you more than that."

Eunae chuckled even more as she shook her head, hearing his antics that never got old. "I was wondering why do call me little sunset," she said earning a hum from Sehun. "Is it because of the first time we met?"

"Probably."

Eunae furrowed her brows and looked at him questioningly. But Sehun kept his gaze on the road, his hands on the wheel.

"The sunset was dancing behind you when you yelled to me your name. Since I was a bit far from you, you looked so little...and breathtaking just like the sun, that whenever I see it, it was you that I was seeing. The sunset reminded me of you."

Her lips formed into an 'O' before a soft chuckle escaped her lips, finally discovering the reason behind her pet name. She had been so curious about it, but she usually forgets to ask him, most especially that he would never leave her lips.

Eunae whipped her head back and looked at his hand suddenly encasing hers.

"They said the sunset symbolizes a passage of time to end the day and take a break. Some says it's the symbol of the beauty of life and the mystery of it. While others say it's a depiction of an ending," Eunae absent mindedly nodded as she listened to Sehun talk more about the sunset.

She was confused where the conversation was heading, but nonetheless curious of the reasons behind it.

Her heart leaped when Sehun swerved the car to the right and stopped at the side, turning the hazard lights on. Her furrowed brows immediately disappearing as he leaned against the seat and gazed at her lovingly.

"And I guess they're all true because at the end of the day, it's you and always you that I want to end the day with. You're the beauty of my life and the actual mystery of it," he said, leaning in and giving her a head spinning kiss. "And you're the person whom I want to be with during the twilight of my life. You're the one I want to watch the sunset with as we breathe our last breaths."

Tears pricked her eyes as she received his heart once again.

She did not know if it was because of her pregnancy hormones that she was so crying easily, or if it was because of his words dripping with raw honesty. Eunae did not know, and it did not matter, because all she ever needed to know was, they were filling her heart with so much love and security.

"I should not really leave you for a whole ass day, shouldn't I?" she teased, brushing away the tears that were just yet to flow. "Look at you being so cheesy, Mr. Oh."

Her heart fluttered when Sehun chuckled heartily. He turned off the hazard lights and began to drive again.

"You really shouldn't. I'm going to give you the scheduled kisses you missed when you flew back here."

Eunae closed her eyes with a toothy smile on her lips.

It was going to be one hell of a long night.