Epilogue

Y U G T O

(Filipino) (n.) a fundamental transition or development of a story or phenomenon.

"Tweachwer, mammam," The little girl mumbled as she held onto the hem of Eunae's dress while being slumped on the floor.

Putting the tray down on the nearest table, Eunae crouched and lifted the little girl in her arms with a smile that reached her eyes, "Do you want some water, Wendy?"

Almost instantly a soft chuckle left her lips the moment the little girl enthusiastically bobbed with her short little arms raised in the air.

It was almost as if the young girl was incredibly too happy even to the point of pumping her fists midair. It was cute as Eunae took note of.

"Okay, okay, sweetheart, let's get you some water," Eunae said sweetly, walking to the built-in mini kitchen and gave the little girl a cup filled with water.

Roaming her eyes around the small and colorful place, she could not stop her heart from blooming with happiness and fulfillment.

It had already been a few months since she moved to New York, almost nearing to a year, and had been a few weeks since she chose to volunteer as a teacher's aide in the nearby school. And she must say that it was probably the best and most wise decision she had ever made.

For the past months of staying at home, desperately trying to move on with her life, Eunae unfortunately just found herself lost of what to do. She took up stories and anecdotes as to how people eventually managed to take on the next chapter of their lives only to end up being swallowed whole by her past.

It was ironic, so to speak that instead of making progress, she only regressed as the hand of the clock continued to tick.

The nightmares never ceased. The questioning of her self-worth dragged on, and even the simple minutes of being utterly dazed as the flashbacks swamped her head continuously playing like a broken cd only torn her with every repeat.

It was a vicious cycle of suffering-of being trapped in the pitch-black box of the past, suffocating her with every chance the sun decided to rest, and the moon took its chance to rose above the horizons.

There were times when she exuded the bright aura of happiness-of tugging her lips upward into a smile-of looking extremely joyous only to realize she had only been fooling herself all those while. That no matter how she tried to make herself look okay and feel okay, the broken pieces of her heart scattered all around the floor would always manage to pierce through her skin like a reminder of how she really was-of what she was really feeling.

When the façade finally became as tiring as weeping like her heart would break, Eunae knew it was time to stop. And that it was time to divert her attention and energy to somewhere else other than hoodwinking herself that she was already fine.

That she was even going to be better when in all actuality she would not.

Taking up positions and workload from the company was not an option. It was one of the things she firmly stayed away from, knowing what might transpired from it. It was the very epitome of the darkness that she was drowning with.

The business-the company, was the actual machinery and reminder of the past she desperately wanted to leave behind.

And she was thankful her mother stood up for her and took the burdening responsibility from her shoulders. Eunha had decided to take over of the company for the meantime-her mother was going to perform her responsibilities up until she had finally recovered.

Until the day her heart could already manage to work in the company without suffering from the piercing needles almost every second. Until Eunae could finally found the courage to face the hurting past without being affected by it any longer.

She tried every sorts of job there was just to free her mind. She became a broker, a secretary to another boss of a different company, a business consultant, and even tried working in coffee shops and fast food chains although she was overqualified for the job.

Eunae could say they were helpful, but not to the point she could completely start off and start anew.

Yes, they managed to capture her attention-her focus-but only in a very short while. There were times when the past would just abruptly kick in whenever she had nothing to do at work, and it wouldn't fail to surprise her, or more so terrify her.

It was as if she was running away helplessly; mile after mile, breath after breath, barefoot and terribly wounded only to find herself circling back to where she started.

At first, Eunae thought there was no way out of it anymore. She had tried all sorts of interventions she could only to always find herself trampled by the undying haunting past that seemed to never leave. It was tiring but more than that, it was discouraging.

She almost gave up even, but then the heavens seemed to hear the pleas of her broken ticker that the redemption she had been trying to find eventually came-just in time before she almost took and lost her life. And maybe what was more noteworthy was how it came in the form of a kid.

It was a gloomy day when it happened-even the horizons were weeping, and the wind was harshly blowing. Eunae just got out of work and felt awfully empty and immensely drained-emotionally, mentally, and physically after having a severe episode of being haunted by the memories she wanted to forget.

And at that moment, the blinding lights of the passing cars just seemed to be the exit to the dark tunnel she had been trapped in.

Drowned in misery, her feet voluntarily made their ways to the middle of the road with cars speeding left and right. She felt hollow and completely out of shape-out of rationality, so to speak. She was void of any emotions and even the ability to think had left her.

However, as a child entered her line of vision, courageously trying to cross half of the road to reach her, Eunae found herself waking up to the horrific nightmare she was sleeping in-of realizing the horrendous act she had almost did.

And as the unknown child eventually reached her halfway, and wrapped her in his short comforting arms, reality came crashing back and swamped her off her feet.

The combined terrified screams and heavy audible sighs of relief, at long last, made it to her ears.

Soon after, the blaring honking of the cars followed. Even the blurry surroundings she previously had, became utterly vivid and that was the time she realized the extent and gravity of what she had almost done.

It took her an hour, a few rubbings in the back, and a pair of arms wrapped around her body before she eventually calmed down. Thereupon, she noticed how she had been staying in a small colorful room that turned out to be a classroom for pre-school children.

And as she spent more time inside it, trying to recollect herself and be stable enough to go on once again in life, the little mumblings of the children and the way they occasionally brush her hair through their small cute fingers, in due course, soothed her more than ever she could think of.

By the time her mother arrived to pick her up, Eunae knew that the small classroom had already become her refuge-her sanctuary. It made her feel oddly safe and the sense of security it embraced her was undeniably the most comforting thing she had wanted and needed.

And in that moment, she swore that the next time she would be back, she would be better than ever, stronger even, as she honestly promised through her pinky finger with all the kids in the new safe haven she found.

With the way she held onto promises, Eunae certainly found herself doing what she swore she would do.

Because when she came back to give her thanks, she was truly better than before, maybe not as fully healed yet, but she was on her way to achieving it. She was getting stable than the usual distraught Eunae, and she had even managed to get herself checked by a psychiatrist to tend to her emotional and mental needs.

She was livelier and happier-one that was truly genuine and naturally came out from within. And as she progressed to reach the optimum state of her whole well-being, Eunae had already been close knitted with the children in the pre-school.

Most especially that she would always get out of her own way and purposefully drop off to the school every single day the sun decided to rise.

It became part of her routine or a commitment rather as a way of giving her utmost thanks to the people who saved her.

She would usually arrive at 10:00 AM, after her scheduled appointment with her doctor, and would always see herself being surrounded by the kids thereafter. Soon, she would always find them crowding the front door or she would occasionally see their heads popping from the window as if waiting for her arrival.

Then, once she reached the door, she could see through the windows how the kids would run in circles and pump their fists in the air as if they just had won something big. And by the time she would finally twist the doorknob and step a foot inside the room, squeals and warm hugs were always to welcome her in full blast.

By then, the kids were not just her saviors, they became her family.

And soon after, Eunae found herself volunteering as a teacher's aide when cleared out of her medical issues. When she was fully recovered and done taking her usual medication. When her scheduled appointments with her psychiatrist had already became 'as needed'.

And for the past months that passed by, she was indeed even getting better, more than what she actually imagined.

Maybe because she was finally doing what she had always wanted-what her heart had always yearned for in years. Eunae guessed the time had come to use what she had learned during her college days, at the end, she took teaching anyways.

But maybe more than that, what truly signified that she was completely recovering were the random thoughts that went in her head.

There were even days when the thought of going back to the company came into her mind-an indication of the bubbling courage deep within. But then, she would always remind herself that it was not yet the right time to do so.

Maybe she would absolutely do that when she had already been filled with love just like before.

"Ahhh! Ouwch!"

Suddenly, her train of thoughts was abruptly cut short when the piercing shriek made it into her ears. Almost immediately, she carefully put down Wendy and rushed to the little boy who was bleeding, his hand pressed against his forehead.

"Taeyong, what happened, sweetheart?" Eunae asked calmly, trying to tuck the nervousness pricking her nerves that she herself was trembling from the sight before her.

"Tweachwer, my h-hwead... table...I h-hwit my hwead," the little boy named Taeyong wept, pointing his finger at the gushing blood coming out from his open wound.

Eunae's reflex was to instantly slump on the floor and cradle the little boy in her arms and place a hand over his bleeding forehead.

"You accidentally hit your head on the corner of the table?" She asked gently, roaming her eyes around and trying to find the other assigned teacher for the class.

Not exactly finding where her co-teacher went, Eunae took it upon herself to solely act on the situation as fast as she could. She immediately stood up and went to the front, wherein their bags were placed and were usually hidden, "Sweetheart, Teacher Eunae will just grab her phone and call the ambulance, okay? I want you to stay calm in my arms; can you do that for me?"

"That's good, thank you, sweet bubble," she added, giving him a kiss on the cheek after Taeyong bobbed his head and hiccupped, maybe due to the slight choking from his sobs.

"You're going to be fine, we'll just have to call a wee-woo, so you can be brought to the hospital."

"It h-hwurts tweachwer," Taeyong confessed through his sobs and occasional choking. "Bloㅡblood."

"I know, I know, I understand sweet bubble. I'm so sorry you're hurt. We'll just have to bear with it for a few more minutes, okay? Wee-woo is going to come soon and will have you patched up," Eunae felt her eyes tearing up as she talked in her phone, while consoling the poor boy, who was terribly petrified of his condition.

Although he was not really bleeding that much and with a one-eight inch of an open wound visible in his forehead, Eunae still could not stop worrying.

She was no expert in the medical field, and she did not exactly know the implications it might have in his system. And maybe more than anything, she just did not like seeing any young child getting hurt-too hurt that they would bleed.

"Wee-woo... will cwome? T-taeyong will wide the wee-woo?" The little boy murmured almost not making sense.

But with the way she had been trained to nurse and rear children, Eunae might have probably known what he was saying. Or maybe, at least, had a slight correct assumption on what the little boy was blabbing.

"Yes, they're going to arrive in a few minutes from now, and you're going to ride the wee-woo," she said, pressing a handkerchief on his forehead just to stop the bleeding.

She would occasionally rock him in her arms and place soft kisses on his cheeks in the aims to calm him down and stray his mind away from his condition. Soon after, she also began humming a few children songs and found him humming to her beat in a short while.

As her co-teacher finally arrived together with the nurses from the ambulance, Eunae immediately handed Taeyong to the arms of the experts in the medical field.

After giving her co-teacher a rundown of what had happened and further requests with regards to the responsibilities she would be leaving and handing, Eunae rode the ambulance together with Taeyong and cradled him in her arms as soon as the nurse finished giving him the first aid he needed.

The ride to the hospital only lasted for a short three minutes but felt like an hour for her. It was hard consoling the little boy in his arms, while, panicking in the inside brought by the situation.

In just a matter of minutes, maybe almost half an hour to the maximum, Eunae slipped inside Taeyong's hospital room with a broken heart.

"How are you, sweet bubble?" She murmured in between sighs.

She called his parents and told them what happened. The news should have probably been a shock and knowing that their son was in an emergency with a stitched forehead, she would had totally understood if they were angry and hysterical.

Eunae probably would; however, she did not expect how they did not raise a voice at her nor blame her for what had happened.

They were shocked; were panicking; and their trembling voices showed how concerned they were but never, for once, did they utter such nasty words against her.

What probably shocked her most was hearing how their voices instantly lightened when she told them her name.

And their next few lines rendered her immobile, telling her how they trusted her, especially with how often their son blabbered her name a lot with a huge smile on his face. That Taeyong had been more active than before and even became very excited to go to school, emphasizing he usually did not like the thought of it and would rather cling to his parents.

Eunae felt her heart bloomed with what she heard. She felt utterly accomplished and encouraged that she was on the right track of reaching the optimum stage of her well-being.

However, her happiness lasted for only a minute as her heart dropped when Taeyong's parents relayed they could not make it to the hospital.

"Are you still hurting, sweetheart?" She asked almost just above a whisper while brushing his hair.

Through the phone call, his mother revealed that she and her husband were working full time in a company hour away from home. They usually leave after dropping off Taeyong in school and return home almost past midnight, with the little boy handed over to their neighbor's care who would just occasionally check up on him in a daily basis.

And with that, the little boy was usually left alone in their home, probably always feeling lonely and left out.

As Eunae brushed his hair through her fingers, she could not stop her heart from being torn into pieces. The peacefully sleeping little boy, who had always been a source of happiness to many and not just her, had a rough life to deal with but with almost no one having a single clue about it.

She had always seen him joyous-having no trace of the difficulties in life that he had to deal with at a very young age, and the thought of it alone had her in shambles.

Eunae stood up from her seat and placed a chaste kiss on the little boy's forehead. She continued running her fingers through his hair soothingly, wishing she could do something for him.

"Teacher Eunae isn't going to leave you okay? I'll be right here until the doctors say you can leave this place; you don't fit in."

She could not take how the young child, who courageously crossed the street and saved her life a few months ago was also struggling to live. That the cheerful boy who wrapped her with undeniable love and care was the one who probably needed it most.

Eunae almost broke down in tears as she ran her eyes along his fragile physique.

Maybe he was just too white and paled skin that he utterly looked sick. She was not exactly sure, but the thought of Taeyong having to stay at home alone from after lunch until past midnight raised red flags and warning signals.

Where did his food come from? Who might have prepared it for him? Was he eating at the right time? Was he even eating? Was he even safe in his home?

Almost instantly a bitter pang of pain stabbed right through her ticker as she tried to find the answers to her questions.

The lone child was surely struggling through life with the simple things most people take for granted, and Eunae would not deny how she felt contrite, knowing she was one of those people before.

Before being completely swallowed by her thoughts and swirling emotions left and right, she went out of the room and called the school, telling how she might probably take a leave for a few days. She was going to take care of the young child to the most she could and fill in the spaces his parents could not fill as they simultaneously do their best to provide him a better future.

And as everything else had been settled, Eunae went back to the white dull four-walled room and took a seat beside the sleeping child she owed her life to.

"Rest well, sweet bubble," Eunae softly muttered, giving him a last chaste kiss on the forehead. She laid her arms and head on the bed, and eventually succumbed to sleep.

Maybe her long-awaited day to return the favor had finally came-she was going to protect him from the bitterness and wounding dynamics of life. She was going to save him before the darker part of life would eventually swallow every bit of hope and gaiety within him.

This time, Eunae was going to run her delicate fingers along his body; caress his soul; and find the cracks she would yet to fill with genuine love and care-just exactly as what he did a few months back-just the way he saved her; a meaningless stranger, in the middle of the busy deadly street and under the weeping skies-just the way he thought her how she was worth saving and worth living.

The repeated soft brushing of her hair was what Eunae woke up to. Tipping her chin, a cute smile instantly greeted her as his little fingers caressed her head, some strands of her hair sticking to her face.

"How are you feeling, sweetheart?" She asked, sitting upright from her bent sleeping position a while ago.

With the way the darkness seeped through the windows, she knew hours had already passed and it was probably close to midnight.

Taeyong pressed his hands together and stretched his lips into a bigger smile, "Good!"

"Well, that's nice to hear!" Eunae answered with a small chuckle, finding the little boy too cute, especially on how his smile reached his eyes. She ran her fingers through his hair until the young boy leaned closer to her touch. "You're probably hungry, what do you want to eat?"

"Burger!" Almost instantly, the little boy rejoiced raising his fist into the air that made her gasp.

"Sweetheart! Take it easy, please," she mumbled nervously, her eyebrows almost knitting together. "You still have an IV on, we have to be careful, okay? We must ask your doctors if a burger will be alright for tonight. Maybe they can recommend a better food for you."

An endearing smile did not fail to cross her lips as soon as he drew out his bottom lip into a pout.

Kids were surely a source of happiness no matter what they do.

"A burger with fries and drinks will surely be okay."

Suddenly, her head immediately snapped to where the source of the voice resonated. And as soon as she saw a man in a white lab coat standing before the door, Eunae instantly stood up and greeted him with a smile.

"Good evening," she said, before looking back at the young boy whose lips were stretched into a mile of a big smile. "Seems like someone's going to have a party in his room and will sleep well tonight, huh?"

A series of short giggles escaped her lips as she watched how Taeyong energetically bobbed his head, almost as if like those bobble head dogs that were displayed in everyone's car. If buying him some burgers would make her see him like this, then she would not surely mind.

"Is there anything else he needs to eat?" Eunae asked, glancing at the doctor. Two seconds or maybe it was three; she was not exactly sure when she opted to tilt her head to the side when he did not speak.

The doctor coughed.

"Just few more glasses of water and a couple of fruits will be better," he said, walking towards them and checking the little boy after composing himself. He examined Taeyong's head, eyes and mouth, and even the IV on the kid's left hand.

"And a good few hours of sleep. Don't you think so, little man?" He added, patting the boy's head after he ticked several boxes on the paper he was holding, and wrote a bit more that she was not able to read.

"Are you his mother?" The doctor asked, almost in a side-glance as she stood across him.

Eunae shook her head and smiled. "No, I'm his preschool teacher, but his parents will be arriving by past midnight. Are there any papers needed to be signed? Can I sign them for the meantime as his guardian?"

"If they'll be coming later, then you won't have to, I can waive it for the moment," he informed with a slight bob, looking at her intently as he held the medical record of the little boy.

"His vitals are stable, and the wound isn't deep to be too worried about. One or two days of rest in the hospital, then I can discharge him right after. I just have to monitor if there's anything peculiar in his case, though I'm pretty sure he's more than fine."

Nodding her head slowly, Eunae blew an audible sigh of relief. Although Taeyong had said he was fine, she just could not bring herself to trust his words, especially how efficient he seemed to be in hiding his pain.

"That's for tonight, little man; make sure to enjoy those fast food junks until you can. You just have a maximum of two days to ask for them without much effort," the doctor stated before wrapping up his inspection and making Eunae and the little boy chuckle, although the latter might not have fully grasped what it meant.

"I'll check him after four hours," he added as he stopped by the door.

"Thank you," Eunae answered, the tone of her voice probably enough to convey how much thankful she was. "Thank you so much, Dr...?"

"Oh," he said. His name surprisingly ringing in her head as if it were some familiar name she had to remember. "Oh Sehun," he repeated.

And there it was again-the ringing of the bells, the uncanny familiarity of the sound of his name.

Eunae wanted to think way harder and recall where and when she heard his name. Maybe a little more effort to backtrack if he were someone she knew.

But before she could even do so, he opened the door to leave before speaking once more.

"And you're most welcome, Ms. Kim Eunae," he added, seeing him smile for the very first time since she saw him today before ultimately leaving the room.

As Eunae tried to remember where she might have heard his name and backtracked to the most she could, she ended up shaking her head and slyly smiling.

"Ah, just probably someone I encoded in the company's list," Eunae mumbled, thinking of the recent company she left that was more inclined to the health industry.

"Tweacher Eunae, I'm hungrwy, pulwease buy a bwurger for me now," Grabbing her phone to make an order, with the young boy looking restless and terribly excited by her side, she began dialing the fast food chain's hotline when she suddenly froze, realizing what she just heard that absolutely threw her more into the sea of confusion.

"Did I even mention my name?" She mumbled almost with the smallest and lightest voice she could ever remember. She tried to recollect if she had ever introduced herself to the man with the white lab coat, before deeply gasping as the realization seeped in.

"I don't think I did."