FIFTY

Lexie

I was hoping to wake up to the aroma of apple turnovers or pumpkin bread when I got up, but I didn't smell either of those things. Instead, it was the sweet and nutty aroma of freshly brewed coffee that hit me first. I shifted in my position in the bed and took a deep breath, savoring the aroma while simultaneously pondering its source. My mother always had a pot of coffee on hand for her best friend and next-door neighbor Lorraine, but my sister and I would much rather drink soda or tea. It seemed like an odd time to start brewing it for us at this point in time.

As I padded out of the room, I put on an old, tattered robe that I had worn in high school and was half expecting to see Lorraine seated at the table. Instead, I was confronted by Ryder.

Even though he had his back turned to me, I recognized him right away.

As my jaw dropped open, my eyes travelled from his broad shoulders to the expression on my mother's face. She gave me a gentle smile. "How are you doing today?"

I was completely bewildered as I stared at him. It couldn't be afternoon, and Ryder couldn't be there.

First, I checked the clock that was hanging above the stove and saw that it was twelve o'clock one. After turning around and getting up from the table, the man was still my focus as I looked back at him. It turned out to be Ryder. The feeling of disbelief was replaced with anger, and the happiness that had been trying to surge at the sight of him was pushed aside.

"Why are you even in this place?" I asked.

He was itching himself on the nape of his neck. "I get asked that question quite frequently."

“Yeah? What do you think the answer is?" I was aware of myself as I pulled the belt of the robe closer around my waist.

Why didn't I hang on to the gorgeous silk robe that was the perfect complement to my eyes? Why was I choosing to wear something that featured ducks printed at varying intervals instead? The level of joy I felt was diminished by my rage. When he'd treated me like dirt, why was I even bothering to worry about what I was wearing?

I put my hands on my hips so that he could see the ducks without having his view obstructed in any way. “Well?” I asked belligerently.

My mother sneaked out of the kitchen in complete silence. While she was opening the front door, I caught a glimpse of sunlight streaming into the living room. I had to force myself to look into Ryder's eyes after she closed the door behind her.

He looked at my face and said, "You look beautiful."

I didn't think so. My face must have been swollen from crying for the past 36 hours. I told him, "You look like you're in the wrong place."

"You asked what I'm doing here," Ryder said, quickly changing directions and making me feel lost again. He moved toward her. I put out my palm as a warning.

"When I went to see Samantha, she asked me the same thing. I told her that I had come to talk to her about you. I told her I didn't want to hurt her, but I was in love with her.

My mouth dropped open in shock.

"When your mom said she would hit me in the head with a lawn gnome if I didn't leave her yard, I told her I wouldn't leave until I saw you because I love you." Ryder moved one step closer, and I put my hand on his chest.

"That's funny," I said, keeping my voice sharp even though the rest of me was melting away, becoming boneless with shock and wanting it to be true. "What you said to me last night was pretty different."

Ryder shook his head hard, as if to get the memory out of his mind. "I know. I was a piece of crap. Someone had pictures of us together and was going to give them to Kim. I was so scared of what would happen to my relationship with Samantha if she found out I fucked over ours.

“Pictures?” I spoke quietly.

“Yeah. She sent a private eye after me the whole time." He shook his head in frustration. "It doesn't matter. I'm glad it made me do it. I shouldn't have kept a secret about you."

I knew why he did what he did. Maybe it was because I was about to become a parent myself. And why he had gotten angry when his secret was threatened. Even though I hadn't met my child yet, I already knew I would do anything for them.

I said it was hard, "I'm not asking you to choose between us." "Your daughter is Samantha," he said. Now was not the time to tell him about the baby. Not yet. It couldn't make him choose between us the way Kim's pregnancy did.

Ryder reached for me. I didn't fight it, so he pulled me closer. "This is no longer about her. It has to do with us. I feel terrible about what I said. "If you let me, I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you," he whispered in my ear.

I broke apart because I couldn't hold myself together any longer. I curled my fingers into the front of his shirt.

His arms wrapped around me tighter. "Now it's just you and me," he swore, staring straight into my eyes.

I bit my lip to hide my nervous smile and said, "Actually, I have a surprise for you."

I told him very quickly. He gave a head shake. "Say that again."

I said, "I'm pregnant," this time more slowly.

Deliberately. My smile got bigger. I couldn't hide my happiness, even though he wasn't happy about the baby and it changed everything between us. It was one of the few things that kept me from giving up completely over the past two terrible days.

Even if–

Ryder said quietly and with surprise, "We're having a baby." The way he looked put my worries to rest. He was surprised, but not scared. He wasn't sure if it was true yet, but he hoped it was.

And when he finally understood the truth, I could see it in his eyes. Joy, peace, and happiness. He said, "We have to tell Samantha."

I felt pain. My first thought wasn't that. We're more likely to say, "We'll have to tell Samantha eventually, but how?" I said with some doubt, "Maybe we should wait a little bit."

“No.” Ryder gave a firm shake of the head. "This baby and you are also my family, Lexie. I'd like everyone to know."

"It will be hard," I said, still not sure what to do.

"Samantha just found out about us, so now she'll have to deal with—"

He stopped me by giving me a long, hard kiss. "If there's one thing we've learned in the past few months, it's that we're terrible liars, Lexie. This time, let's just tell the truth."

His words made me feel happy, so I gave him a kiss and let it wash away my worries.

Ryder was right. No more hush-hush.

Now, no longer.