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I turned back to Thiago, looked him straight in the eyes, then ran to the elevator. I go.

"Alea no" he yelled behind me and followed me to the elevator before the doors could close, he pushed against it.

"Stay away" I said now in a clear voice. He had just given me a clear announcement and I made my decision.

But he didn't think to listen to me. He entered the elevator and hit the stop button before walking towards me. His breathing was rapid. He struggled with himself again.

Thiago stopped just a few centimeters away from me. He put his hands on the elevator wall to the left and right of my head and surrounded me.

"Alea damn" he said through clenched teeth. "Why? Why do you have to keep defying me? Why don't you just do what I want?" he now breathed towards me. He was desperate. I felt it.

I closed my eyes Then I whispered: "I was only out with my best friend, I didn't do anything". I hoped he would finally understand that there was nothing wrong with it.

"You didn't pick up when I called," he whispered as well and brought his face closer so that I could feel his forehead on mine.

"I know I'm sorry about that too, I didn't want you to be so mad about it". I gave it honestly.

He took a deep breath.

"You weren't there the last couple of evenings. Came home late at night. I wonder where you were? I was so looking forward to tonight, I made an effort, and you didn't come again. I couldn't even Let Thiago know. I was mad at you too" I whispered.

Thiago ran his fingers gently down my cheek to my chin.

Then he kissed me. He just kissed me. Was that his way of apologizing? I didn't return the kiss at first. But leaned on, tense on the elevator door. I carefully put my hands on his chest and pushed him away from me.

Thiago walked away from me and looked straight into my eyes. He was confused, I could see that.

"I'd better go home now," I said under my breath, keeping my head down.

"No," he replied loudly and decisively. "Look at me Alea"

I lifted my head and looked straight into his dark eyes again. Now I could see pure desperation combined with desire again.

"I'm sorry okay? All of this..." he said pointing at me and himself "...is new to me"

"I'm not good at apologizing or how to behave in a..." he continued, stopping mid-sentence.

"...behaves in a relationship?" I finished the sentence for him and looked at him expectantly.

He scratched the back of his head and took two steps away from me.

"Alea, listen, I... about us..." he started to stutter. Yes, Thiago Silva personally began to stutter. I knew exactly what that meant.

"I love you Thiago, and I want nothing more than you, I want us to do it, okay? We have a real relationship". It just gushed out of me. It was the first time I told him I love him. And it felt incredibly liberating. I really wanted nothing more than him by my side. as my husband

But I could tell from his reaction that he might not be as sure as I am.

"Thiago?" I wanted him to answer me. For him to tell me how much he loves me too. that we are a couple

"Alea I can't do this" was all I got to hear though. And that was the moment. The moment my heart shattered into 1000 pieces. How so? Why cursed? I could tell he had feelings for me. After everything we've been through together.

"How so?" I asked him as the first tears began to roll down his cheeks.

"I'm disabled. You can see clearly that I can't. I'm always on the go, don't have time, act like an idiot. I don't want to disappoint you. Do you understand? I'm not the man to settle down, get married and fathers children. I hate children. I hate the idea of a family. Alea look I would only hurt you. I'm the wrong person for you. You deserve someone who wants it all too," he explained.

God how I hated those words. How often have you read about it or seen it in bad films when a man uttered such sentences. Nothing but garbage. This talk. None of it mattered. When you love someone with all your heart, you want that person and everything that comes with it. Then you wouldn't say such things.

My tears flowed so hard that my whole face was weeping. However, I was also angry. About him. About him rejecting me like that.

"Say it" I shouted now "say that you love me" I demanded.

But he said nothing. He just said nothing. "Tell Thiago" I shouted even louder.

"I'm sorry Alea" was all I heard.

How can he do this to me? How?

I stomped past him into his apartment, ran into the bedroom to get my bag. I gathered up all my things as quickly as I could. When I came back, Thiago was standing in the hallway just before the elevator and was watching me.

I walked past him without a word and headed back into the elevator. I wiped away my tears and pressed the button that was supposed to bring the elevator down as fast as I could.

"Alea please..." he said again and looked deep into my teary eyes.

"Go to Hell Thiago Silva"

Then the elevator doors closed and the elevator started moving.

At that moment I broke down. I knelt on the ground and cried incessantly. That's it. So this is how the story of Alea and Thiago ended. No happy ending. Once again I'm devastated thanks to this man.

I have no idea how to survive this...