66

I'm sitting in my comfortable chair in my office, signing the final forms as I put my pen aside.

My thoughts wander back to Alea. It's been 3 weeks already. The worst three weeks I've had to endure in my life so far. But I knew in time this would pass. The pain would pass. Like everything in life. Time would tell. I just have to survive until then.

I vented my aggression, my anger at myself, in the ring every evening after work. while fighting. With a family like mine, it was easy to find the right milieu. A few phone calls from my brother and I could punch someone else in the face every day. However, my knuckles on the hand did not find this as satisfying as I did. They were sore, red and horrible looking. However, I didn't care. i needed it I needed it to keep from going insane.

I was so close to just driving over to her, grabbing her and throwing her into her bed. Kissing her on every imaginable part of her body. I missed her incredibly. I never thought I could ever miss a woman like that. But I did. She was and is something special and she will always be. And she will probably always be that one girl in my life, but I had to let her go.

I could never give her what she wanted. A normal, intact relationship. A family. I was so fucked up for it. My family alone would be her downfall. I was selfish and mean. I would make her cry again and again and she didn't deserve that. And for the first time in my life, I wasn't thinking about myself and what I wanted, but about what's best for someone else. And the best thing for her was a man who treated her like the most precious thing in the world. Who was always there for her, had time and gave her children.

Just the thought of another man touching her made me tremble. I hope when the time comes and she finds that man who took the time to take the pain away from me, I wouldn't care and I could genuinely rejoice.

She would eventually understand. And maybe we could become something like friends? No not in life. Firstly I have no friends except for Marcello and secondly I would always want her again. naked in my bed Not a good basis for a friendship. It's best if we avoid each other. Hardly see. Which isn't that easy. She still works in the same company.

After our argument in the elevator, she was ill for a week. That's what Mr. Marker, the area manager, told me when I asked about her. However, after this week she appeared again. According to Mr. Marker, she was very diligent, doing all the work and even staying until 7pm every day. I had to smile at that statement. My girl I thought. She distracts herself with work. It's good. That's how I know she's not giving up. That she fights and tries to get through the time like me.

I will continue to try to avoid her for the next few days and weeks by coming to the office or finishing work at times when she definitely could not be found in the elevator or in the cafeteria. The shock would still be too great. The wounds too fresh. At some point it will be put into perspective. That's what I thought.

It was now 9:00 p.m. A look at my phone told me that my next fight would be soon. It was already burning under my nails. I could not wait for it.

My brother picked me up in front of the bank on time and took me to the old warehouse building where the fight would take place.

When we arrived, hundreds of spectators were already there. All shady guys betting money on me or my opponent.

My brother bandaged my hands and feet with white bandages. I got a mouthguard in my mouth. But that's it.

When I entered the ring I saw my opponent for the first time. He was about two heads taller and quite a bit wider. However, I was more defined and certainly more agile.

The fight began and I didn't want to grope cautiously. I immediately ran towards my opponent and struck. But the blows bounced off him like I was a damn pussy about to hit.

He swings out, wanted to hit me, but I was able to deftly dodge. So it went back and forth until I lost concentration in the 4th round and a right hook hit me hard on the temple. I fell to the ground, I was dizzy, my vision was blurred.

I took in the counting in a muffled voice. 9.... 8.... 7....

Damn it was hard for me to get up. My head was pounding. The pain hit me full force...

6.... 5.... 4....

I looked at the audience. It was blurry. I kept squinting my eyes hoping my vision would come back.

3.... 2.... 1....

And suddenly I saw Alea in front of me. My girl. She was in the audience. She looked beautiful with her long brown hair falling in her face. She looked worried. worried about me I smiled. My heart warmed. And then everything turned sharp again. I could see clearly. And Alea wasn't even here. However, I still had a second to get up before I would lose the fight and there was no way I wanted that. So I got up in a flash. i was back And I was angry.

Not only because Wixxer had hit me, but also because I just realized that I had lost Alea. That she wasn't my girl anymore. And I couldn't touch her, kiss her and love her anymore. That I couldn't have her near me anymore.

And so I struck. Like a wild beast without mercy. The crowd rages, cheers and screams. But I hide everything. I knock my opponents out. There was blood everywhere. I had beaten him up badly.

My brother and the referee had to tear me away from him. I was like in a trance. I had won. My brother and his followers rejoiced. You just won a lot of money. My pleasure. However, I also looked nauseous from the one punch. I definitely couldn't show up at the bank tomorrow like that. Fuck.

I ran my hand through my sweaty hair.

"vamos hermano, vamos de fiesta" said my brother and put his arm around me before he pulled me out of the ring. He wanted to party. To my victory. I didn't want to. On the other hand, I couldn't go to sleep anyway, I was too upset. Maybe it would distract me a bit. My brother and my family used to party in places where women would slide down a pole naked. I haven't been there for a long time. It was worth a try.

We arrived at the strip club and had the VIP area to ourselves. As soon as we had our first drinks, Raul, my brother, unpacked the coke. Damn it. He drew a line and held out the white powder to me. Hell stuff I thought. However, maybe it would help to finally stop thinking. Banish Alea from my mind for just a moment. Even if it's only for a few hours. I needed this. Urgently.

So I made a line myself and drew everything up my nose. After a short time I already felt the effect. I leaned back satisfied. My body relaxed. Then my brother waved the women over to us.

A lot came. All scantily clad and willing. Very willing. Two strippers came up to me and without much warning their hands were already glued to me. On my chest, on my stomach, one hand in my hair and one was already pressing on my penis. goodness gracious

They kissed me, unzipped my pants and started caressing me. I closed my eyes And there she was again. alea Hell, even the coke can't put it out. I imagine she's the one who just kissed me. whose hands touch me

I can feel my cock being put in her mouth. Over and over again. I could feel the teeth sucking and licking. In my mind I look down. Look into Alea's beautiful eyes. She's about to give me a head and I tangle my hand in her brown hair. Oh she's so good at it. I'm about to pull myself out of her, grab her, shit on the sofa and lick her as a reward. Her little sweet pussy. Driving her crazy again and making her moan. How she screams my name. Mhhhh....

"Do you want even more sweet" suddenly whispered a female voice in my ear. It definitely wasn't my girl. I opened my eyes and immediately realized where I was and who was blowing my head. The two strippers or hookers. Damn it.

I immediately pushed both of them away from me and jumped up to fasten my pants.

"hermano que pasa?" Raul asked, who was also holding a woman in his arms.

"I can't do this. I have to go" I said without further explanation and left the store as fast as I could.

I got into the car of one of my brother's employees and sped off. Fuck fuck fuck. I banged my hands on the steering wheel.

Couldn't I fuck more? A trivial fuck with any woman without thinking about Alea. What the fuck is wrong with me. I don't recognize myself. I drink, smoke, do coke, hit and now I can't even get pleasure from anything else?

I was screwed. But something like that.

Without really thinking about it, I drove to Alea's apartment. I stopped in the car in front of the apartment building. I lit a cigarette and looked up at her window. She's probably asleep right now.

I thought about how she always looked when she was still asleep and I watched her. Like an angel. So gentle and calm and beautiful.