67

It's already 8 weeks. Eight weeks since my life went completely off the rails. I don't know how she is. Does she cry every night or can she laugh again and enjoy her life? I don't know if she misses me or hates me abysmal. I suspect the second. All I know is that I'm getting crazier every day. Shouldn't it get better? I thought time would help to forget. I thought time would take away the pain. But it wasn't like that.

I still haven't seen her. Not even accidentally in the hallway. At first I thought it would be better that way, but now I was hoping I could see them. Even if it were only for a short time. Look into her eyes for a moment. See how she is.

I ruffled my hair. I have to concentrate Work has no mercy on whiny guys like me. I could puke at the thought of what has become of me. On the outside I was still the tough, arrogant, mean boss, but on the inside it looked different. She clearly destroyed me. Made a wimp out of me. Someone I've always despised. She has the power. She's got me by the balls. Damn I'd burn the world down for her. But none of that matters anymore. Because I could never give her what she wants. I am not that man.

****knock knock****

My confused thoughts were interrupted when my fellow board member walked in.

"Thiago you look exhausted" he pronounces the visible. I just nodded and gestured for him to sit down. "What's going on? You're so absent at the moment?" he continued to drill. God he doesn't realize that I don't feel like talking to him.

"All good Harry, private. However, I have everything to hand. What is it?" I answered.

"You can talk to me at any time, I want you to know that. So the big internal Christmas party is on Friday. Should I give the speech or would you like to?" he asked me. Damn I didn't even think about that.

Every year at the end of the year we organize a huge Christmas party with all employees of this bank. We rent the exhibition hall for this, set up a stage, make everything festive and there is a gala dinner. Later in the evening a well-known dj will play and there will be alcohol no limit. With more than 1000 employees, it is always a very popular event. However, I didn't feel like doing these activities at all. It only costs money and people get disrespectful and embarrassed thanks to the alcohol.

As the chairman of the board, it was mandatory for me to be present. However, I always left early right after the meal.

"I'll give the speech" I said annoyed and sent him out of the office. I ran to the window and looked at the skyline. Will Alea come on Friday too? Will I see her again for the first time? I could find out and I will.

I called his human resources department and asked for the list of acceptances and cancellations for the Christmas party. Less than 5 minutes later I received it by email. I'm looking for the letter "M" under Promise. But find nothing. When I looked under cancellations, I found her name: Miles, Alea.

So she canceled. Either she doesn't have the time or she doesn't want to. Or she just wants to get out of the way knowing I'll be there. Whatever it is, it made me angry.

I therefore decided to work against it and wrote an email to all main department heads that it is mandatory for all managers to be present. That would ensure a good image for all employees. That's my reasoning. So Alea should come too. Satisfied, I sent the email. It was law when I wrote it. And best of all, no one, not even her, would raise suspicion.

I couldn't wait until Friday evening and it finally happened. I was wearing a tailored black fitted suit. In addition, black, fine shoes and a large, tight-fitting shirt. As always, I had gelled my hair back. Plus my perfume. Finished.

I got out of my matte black Audi R8 as I arrived in front of the building where the ceremony was taking place. I skillfully closed my jacket and directed my gaze forward. There was a lot going on. I walked across the Roteb carpet and nodded to some familiar faces.

Once inside, I took a glass of champagne from the waiter's tray and my board colleagues immediately joined me. They talked business while I was distracted by the crowd. I looked for her. I looked for Alea in the crowd. But I couldn't find her.

She must not have defied the orders of her superior Mr. Marker? As far as I know them. She always defied me too, the little beast. What nobody dared to do.

The hall filled up and the doors were closed. Everyone seems to be there. I decided to walk through the crowd, so I apologize briefly to my colleagues. I ran from one bar to the next with my glass, looked at so many faces, but hers wasn't among them.

Frustrated, I put my empty glass aside and headed for the toilets. When I reached the long corridor that led to the toilet facilities, my heart stopped. There she was. About 6 meters away in the corridor. She looked at me in shock and it seemed like time stood still. People walked past me and her left and right, laughing and talking.

However, she and I stood there frozen and looked at each other. And I swear I was shaking.

However, the moment was cut short when a hand rested on my shoulder and a colleague spoke to me. The sales manager. Why now? In the corner of my eye I could see how Alea came out of her rigidity, seized the moment and started running.

Damn it can't have been. I have to talk to her. Right away.

So before she could walk past me, I gently grabbed her arm and said, "Ms. Miles, I'm glad you were able to settle in today. I have a question about your market assessment that you released last week . Mr. Jorgen, would you please excuse us" and nodded to the sales manager to understand that I would like to be left alone. He understood and with a smile he left the corridor.

My gaze was now directed back to Alea. She wore a white form-fitting dress that reached to her knees. On her waist was a fine, thin black patent leather belt. Her hair was loose with slight waves and she wore a subtle makeup. She looked beautiful. Her skin was pale and as I scanned her entire body I could see that she was even thinner than a few weeks ago. She has lost weight. My insides tightened immediately.

She didn't look at me. Her eyes were on the floor. I couldn't keep my distance anymore. I had to touch her. My hand gently stroked her bare arm. She immediately backed away. "Don't," she said quietly, "the people," she whispered on.

I shook my head: "I don't care if someone sees us or not Alea. What matters is you," I said resolutely. And that was it. Damn it, the whole world should see what this woman has made of me. what she means to me

"I don't care," she answered louder and looked me in the eye for the first time. Fuck. These eyes are my downfall. She is. I raised my hand and put it on her cheek "Alea I'm so sorry about everything I..." but Alea pulled her head away again and took a step away from me before she said: "No!!!".

"No Thiago, leave me alone, I don't want to see you anymore, hear you no more, smell you no more, and above all don't touch me again, never again, please," she almost begged. I swallowed. That was clear. I closed my eyes for a brief moment.

When I opened it again, it was already at the end of the corridor just before it went into the ballroom. She looked back at me once more, then she was gone in the crowd.