68

I knew it... I just knew it. It was a mistake coming here. I did not want to. From the beginning. But Mr. Marker insisted. I was hoping so much not to have to meet "him" and in fact it was going well for a while until just now.

My whole body is trembling. I need a drink right away. So I walked straight to one of the many bars.

It took all my strength. Telling him to leave me alone. Not to lose myself in his eyes. Just the brief touch on my arm gave me goosebumps. His perfume. Being so close to him again after not seeing him for two months. It's driving me insane. Why does he have such an effect on me? Why can't I finally forget him.

i really hate him For hurting me so much. Has hurt me so many times and he can't leave me alone.

I hold my martini in hand and immediately empty the glass. Eating would start soon, but I've already lost my appetite. Actually, I haven't had an appetite for weeks. Because of him.

The lights have been dimmed and the spotlight is pointing towards the stage. The hall fell silent and all the board members took the stage. I stopped at the bar and watched the scene unfold.

Thiago Silva took over the speech. Of course he did. He was perfect at it. Cool, composed, serious and incredibly good-looking. I curse him. Everyone in the room listened intently. Full attention was on him and I too looked up at him albeit from a safe distance, hidden at the bar.

His words were well chosen and he knew how to get employees in the mood and motivate them. Just the usual talk... ...The success of the bank is only thanks to the good cooperation of everyone... blah blah blah.

It was slowly coming to an end and I was grateful for that. After eating I would go straight away. That was for sure. I took a sip of the second martini I ordered and turned my attention back to the front...

"... Ladies and gentlemen, before I come to the end of my speech and wish us a festive evening, I would like to take the opportunity to say a few personal words ... many see me as the ice-cold, slightly choleric one , bossy and unfeeling board of directors...which I am" (everyone in the room started laughing)

..."but that's what I have to do to keep the shop running. My two colleagues are responsible for the cuddling course "... (Thiago pointed to the other two board members and everyone in the hall laughed again )...

" Jokes aside, today I want to take this opportunity to apologize in front of you all to a very special person . Although this person was my closest to anyone, she was the one I hurt the most . She knows me that way good like no other and still stuck with me " ... ( laughter in the room again. A real comedian )...

...I let you go because I want nothing more than that you will be happy . That you find someone who does n't hurt you but is there for you unconditionally . That 's ... that 's probably the most selfless thing I've done in my life so far , but at the same time it was also the hardest step ever for me... (brief clearing of my throat, not a single noise is made in the hall hear . Everyone is totally excited and moved... as am I... I knew exactly that he was talking about me)....

sometimes in life you have to go through the strongest storm to be able to face the sun again . I have dedicated my life to this bank. And I'm holding on to that even though I've lost my sun ... (I could feel the tears leaving my eyes and slowly running down my cheeks . Why does he say things like that ? Why does he make it so damn hard for me to hate him?)

...I would like to thank you all for your trust in managing this bank, for your commitment and , above all , for your attention. I am also pleased to announce that each of you will receive a $ 1000 bounty . Thank you and I wish us all a nice evening... (everybody started clapping wildly and cheering. That was probably the best speech he ever gave. Because he showed the first time that he too is a person with feelings . And of course the bonus made the employees smile and cheer)...

Thiago left the stage with his fellow board members while I stood there petrified. Then it was time to eat. I moved to the table like a robot. I didn't really take the voices around me anymore. I sat next to Alexa and Jeff. I took a glass of red wine and drank... "alea".... "alea?"...

Only now did I notice Jeff talking to me. "What?" I asked. "Are you okay? You're pretty pale and your eyes. Did you cry?"

"What no?" I answered directly. "Crap is just a little dizzy," I explained myself. "Mhhh maybe you should drink a glass of water instead of the wine" came from Alexa. I only smiled briefly.

"So what did you two have it about?" I asked the two, hoping to take their mind off me. "Mr. Silva" immediately bubbled out of Alexa. "I've never seen him like that. I'd love to know what happened and which woman he meant" oh no, that can't be true, I thought to myself. "What do you think Alea, you already had a little more to do with him than we did. Do you know her? Does she work here too?" Alexa wanted to know more.

"I have no idea alexa. I don't care either" I told her annoyed. "Oh come on Alea, you can't tell me you're not curious too, I mean he must have loved this stranger very much. He called her his sun. Oh god how I wish I could be in her place. If I imagine how he spoils his sun in bed Then..." "ALEXA" I cut her off. God in heaven how am I supposed to survive this meal. I can't take it anymore.

Again I took a big gulp of the reddish liquid then stood up. "Excuse me, I need some fresh air" I said. "Now, dinner is being served," jeff said. But I didn't care. Even though everyone was sitting straight and I was probably the only one walking through the entire hall, excluding the waiters.

I needed air. Fresh air urgently. I just reached the large double doors that separated the hall from the anteroom when I felt someone else get up and walk to the exit. Without turning I could guess who it was. So I quickened my pace to get outside.

And if I was right, every damned employee and manager would now know who that woman Mr. Silva was talking about in his speech was. Namely me.

"Alea wait"... I recognized his voice immediately. And without stopping it, tears ran down my cheeks again.

It was already 8:30 p.m. and already dark at this time of year. I was now standing outside the large entrance area and breathed in the cool air. In December it's around 14 degrees at night in Miami. Not winter but at least cool enough to wear a jacket. Which of course I don't have with me, which is why goose bumps covered my body.

I felt Thiago standing behind me. Without saying anything, he put his jacket over my shoulders. Then he carefully turned me over. When he saw my tear-stained face, he drew in a sharp breath. "God Alea," he whispered, resting his forehead on my forehead. Then he took his two thumbs and stroked my wet cheeks.

I closed my eyes My heart hurt and I could hardly breathe. "You just don't get it," I said, shaking. "What?" He wanted to know directly.

"You keep saying you want me to find someone who will make me happy, when you're the only one who can. Because I'm only happy when I can be with you"

"Alea don't say that" was his answer.

"But it's the truth," I replied. I felt myself becoming more and more dizzy. How my heart was racing and the pain was increasing.

"Come on let's go in" Thiago suggested and put his hand on my lower back. He avoided what I said. It's answer enough for me. He just can't. He can't love me like I do.

"I need a moment" I told him and pulled away from his hand. I don't want his touches if it's just out of pity. "Go, I'll be right behind you," I demanded.

Thiago refused at first, but gave in and finally ran towards the entrance. He looked back at me one last time, then disappeared behind the massive doors.

I was alone now, out in the cold. With his jacket around my shoulders.

I looked up into the clear night at the millions of stars that shone. I closed my eyes for a brief moment.

Alright Alea. time to go back. I thought to myself. I opened my eyes, but just as I was about to start running, the pain came back. This time in my stomach. I cringed and before I realized what was happening, my vision went black again.

Uncontrollably, I hit the hard stone floor with full force. Then everything went very still and black...