The truth

Blake’s Pov

Em is sleeping for three hours straight now. The wind has picked up and a massive storm is brewing. I kept checking if she was okay and that the swelling didn’t get worse. She refuses to go to a hospital, and for god knows why she’s a nurse and most of the people at the ED know what happened in her past, okay I think only Linda does, and I know her worse fear is being weak, but sometimes being weak is not a bad thing, well in my eyes. I grew up learning that being weak is your worse enemy, until I met Emily, and saw that being weak comes with passion and love and dependence. That’s all I ever wanted.

I closed her with a blanket when someone knocked on the door. It’s nearly midnight who in the world would come here this time.

The knocking became louder when I rush to the door before the fucking noise woke up Emily.

“What in the world are you doing here?” I asked when my mother was standing in the doorway, drunk and high on something. It looks like she hasn’t bathed in weeks and her eyes are bloodshot from whatever she’s dosing off.

“I just need a place to stay tonight,” she asked with fear trembling in her voice.

“No, you had your chance to make things right, and you chose to walk out of my life.” I closed the door in her face and a burning feeling like a knife twisting inside my stomach took over.

“Who was that?” Emily opened her eyes.

“No one, the couch must be uncomfortable. Why don’t you sleep in my bed?” I changed the subject, but I can see she’s not buying my bullshit story.

“Blake?”

“It was my mother, but you don’t want to meet her.” I lowered my head and try to avoid her. I know she just lost her mother as here I am chasing away mine, but she doesn’t know what I went through with her. Yes, my father might have been a total jackass and trained me to feel nothing in life as to only be a champion, but my mother was never there to show me the beauty of life, or how to love and treat a woman.

“Blake, she’s your mother. Doesn’t matter what she did in the past, everyone deserves a second chance.”

“Will you give your stepfather a second change?” I asked, annoyed.

“I’m going to bed.” she grabs the pillow but not after she stared at me with *how the fuck would I ask that question if her face looks like that?*

“Em, I’m sorry,” I called after when she walked into the bedroom.

“Em, please look at me?” I grabbed her hand and turned her around to look at me. Her eyes are full of tears.

“I’m sorry.” I stroked her cheek.

“My mother tried to turn her life around. I don’t know why she never left. She promised me over and over that she would leave him, and she never did. I wish I had the chance to ask her why? Why would she stay if he was abusing her?” she bents down and this time the tears were streaming out of her beautiful eyes.

I don’t know how to handle emotions like this. I was never thought how to do it, not by my mother and with my father it was always *never show your emotions. Fighters don’t have emotions, only strength.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say to you.” she picked up her head and her swollen yet still beautiful face had a smile with all the pain showing all over her face.

“Tell me about your mother,” she asked. I guess she wants to know that she was not the only one who went through a rough childhood. I picked her up and laid her on the bed.

I don’t know how to tell her, and I’ve never told anyone about my past.

“You don’t have to feel ashamed or strong with me.” she played with her fingers with messy hair.

“My mother was pregnant with my sister, and my father was angry. He wanted a son, so he started seeing other women. My mother went into depression and begged my father to stop seeing other women, she will give him a son. So 3years later my mother conceived a son, me. My father was so happy and trained me since I could start walking to be a fighter. My mother obviously didn’t want that, but my father didn’t care for my mother’s wishes, and started seeing other women again.” Emily pulled herself up and I can see she struggles with the pain she feels, not just physically, but emotionally.

“Are you okay?” I asked when I pulled her to sit on my lap. I’m getting too close to her, I try not to, but I feel comfortable telling her everything and for some reason, I can show emotions to her.

“I’m okay, go on.” I took a deep breath before I continue my fucktup childhood life.

“My mother begged for years for my father to top, but he believed that women are only there for pleasure and that a man can never be weak. So she started drinking and used drugs to numb her pain. I always followed my father’s instructions, watched kickboxing movies with him and trained like a mad person every day until I became the best.” I took a breath in and a sip of water until I tell her the worse part.

“My father never showed any love for my sister or mother. He would bring women home while my mother was high on something and my sister locked up in her room. I would keep myself busy and keep reminding myself that I need to be strong and focus on being the best, so I shut down from what was going on around me until I heard my mother yell.” My heart is raising when I think back, something I locked away for years.

“I was 15years old and my sister 18years. For all the years I was trained, my sister was out on the streets, partying and doing shit she was not supposed to do. My mother opened her door, and she overdosed on heroin, and it was too late to even call an ambulance. My mother went crazy. Told my father it was his fault. I ran to my room and closed my ears. They were fighting, blaming each other.” for the first time since that day, I could feel emotion again. I promised myself to never feel anything again after that day. Emily looks sad as she caresses my cheek and her other hand in my hair.

“My mother left that day and never returned. She left me with my father when I was 15. I saw her a few times after I became famous for kickboxing, but she never pulled herself together after the death of my sister, and I can’t forgive her for leaving me.” talking about all this is making me feel shit I don’t want to feel. I pulled Emily closer and locked my arms around her.

“I want to kiss you so bad now,” I said softly, bringing my lips closer to hers.

“Then kiss me,” she answered with Alot of passion in her voice.

“I don’t want you to think that I’m using you, because I’m not.” She smiled and crushed her lips on mine. The warmth I’m feeling is exciting, yet so emotional. Something I’ve never felt in my adult life. I’m supposed to make her feel safe and here she shows me that it’s okay to show what you feel and not lock away the person screaming to come out.

Our mouths moulded, and she knew exactly how to let me feel everything I’d been locking away for years.