Letting go

Emily’s Pov

“You know, it’s okay to feel you don’t have to hide what happened.” I try to ease the pain that he’s trying to hide behind the tough man he was raised to be. He looked down and kept his eyes focus on my lap while I’m still sitting on his lap.

“I don’t want to lose focus when I’m high on emotions. I never learned how to show or even let it in.”

“Then let me teach you the same way you’re teaching me to fight. Let me show you how to feel.” My hands are hooked around his neck and his hands are around my body. I can feel how ye shiver, trying to hold back what is dying to let out, but he’s too afraid to feel anything.

“How did you feel when your sister overdosed?” he snap his head with anger and removed me from his lap.

“Blake, I don’t want you to relive it. I just want to know what emotion you felt the day she died.” I’m no shrink, but I know he locked away the part of his feelings when his sister died, and if He is ever going to feel again, then he needs to let the fear of his emotions that he felt that day take over and work through it.

“Close your eyes.” he glared at me with a frown on his face.

“Just trust me.” I removed his T-shirt and placed my hands on his chest. He took. Deep breath in and out.

“Now concentrate on my breathing and try to remember what you felt that day.” I can see him drift away to the 15year-old boy.

Blake’s eyes are closed, and his memories took over

...............

*Anna, open your eyes, open your eyes, Anna. My mother yelled, sticking her fingers inside my sister’s mouth. My dad was standing in the doorway, showing no emotion toward my sister’s overdose.

Dad, please help mom. I pleaded, but he chase me to my room and told me that a champ didn’t cry or show any emotions.

I run to my room and closed my door and ears, but I could still hear my mother yelling.

It’s your fault. You never wanted Anna and look what she did? You’re a monster!!!

After opening my eyes, I jumped off the bed. I shadowbox in my room, screaming for my sister to come back to life. I couldn’t breathe.

I kept screaming Anna, Anna! Fear, hate and anger were my emotions. I kept shadowboxing to let out the anger until I heard the ambulance, but it was too late.

You stay with your father, and one day I hope you will treat women better than your father ever did. My mother looked at me with hatred in her eyes while packing her bags. I couldn’t answer her. My father was sitting on the couch with a beer watching MMA, and from that day I promised myself to never feel again.* Blake opened his eyes.

“Until you walked into my life.” He pulled him closer, tears running down his cheeks. My heart pains for what he went through.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, my face closed to his.

“You here, and I never want to treat any women the way my father did with my mother and sister, especially not you.” I smiled and kissed him passionately. He stroked his hand through my hair and pulled me up with his other one.

I gasp as she leans against me, putting her small arms around my neck. Her body is shaking. My mind was racing. She removed her shirt and whispered in my ear.

“I want to, “her eyes full of lust.

“Are you sure? There is no going back if we do this?”

“I want to, and I want to be with you in every way.” those words alone want me to take her right now. I touch her. Fuck touching her in this way sent a shock wave through my body. I never thought that touching someone can do this. What if I hurt her?

“Em, we can’t,” I said to her while kissing her breast and her mouth and touching her, my hands sliding over her back.

“Em” she doesn’t listen and just moans, her breathing so hard, I never felt so close to anyone.

I picked her up, removing the pillows from the bed, my mouth not leaving her neck for a second. I keep reminding myself that this is wrong. She is pure; me taking away the one thing that a woman values. I never want to lose her. I don’t want to dream about her and imagine her with anyone else.

“Stop, Emily,” I manage to say through all my lust and my passion for her.

“We can’t.”

“Why not?.” she says, her breathing still heavy, her chest jumping up and down.

“I don’t know how to do this gentle?” She smiles at me.

“I trust you” fuck I can’t resist her. I removed her panties, grabbing a condom from my pants. She moaned again. This time I can feel she is wet. I want her, and before I could stop, I glide into her. A loud sound escapes her mouth.

“Tell me if it hurts, okay?” I said to her, and her eyes flicker. We both went into a trance-like we had just taken a drug, and we can’t escape the feeling. I buried my head into her neck and I keep sliding in and out. She is feeling so good. I never want to lose this feeling. She is perfect, her body is so god-damn beautiful. She moans every time I’m sliding in and out of her. I can feel she is close. I don’t think I will make it, I can’t help it. The way her body ignites with me and the way we move together.

“Blake,” and by the words I finished and her body stiffens underneath me. She is still in a trance and her body is shining with all the sweat.

“Are you Ok? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” She opens her eyes and kissed me.

“I have felt none better than what I feel” I smiled and kissed her forehead. She stands up from the bed and my eyes followed her to the dressing table.

“Are you coming?” she asked, removing boxer and a t-shirt.

“Are you wearing my clothes?” I asked smiling, remembering how she freaked out the first time she was dressed in my clothes. She only smiled and pulled me up from the bed.

“I want to shower with you.” I picked her up and kissed her entire body.

“Thank you.”

“For what?” She asked, amused.

“For being you.” Her beautiful smile sends a shiver down my spine while I carry her to the bathroom. Her ribs are still blue and I try not to hurt her in any way.