Who said the world Love is not hard?

Emily’s Pov

The rain is pouring outside, and the wind is blowing heavy like it’s angry at the world or something.

I have 3 hours left of my shift and I can barely keep my eyes open. I volunteer to work the next shift again. So it’s 4jours of sleep then back at the ER.

I have to admit, keeping busy was helping me not to think of Blake or my stepfather, but the ER is quiet now, and my mind is buzzing with all the rage and anger again.

I wanted to punch him in the face at the restaurant and made him feel like the low-life bastard that he is.

“Em, can you pass me the files, please?” Linda asks and drowns at the same time.

“What’s up with you today? You barely spoke to anyone?” She folds her arms and left me hanging with the files in my hand.

“Nothing, I… I mean..”

“Em?” She half sigh and took the files, but kept her eyes focussed on me.

“Blake and I were having supper yesterday, and my stepfather walked into the restaurant. Well, let’s just say, he got the bitter part of me again, and Blake witness how he disrespected me, and I have a pretty good feeling that he will not train me anymore.” Linda placed the files back on the counter.

“Train you for what?” She asked, concerned. Shit, shit. I never told her that Blake is actually helping me to train to defeat the son of a bitch. This could cost me my license to practice medicine. The board will see me as a reckless nurse and provoke me to treat patients.

“Linda, you cannot tell anyone about this, please. I don’t just learn how to fight because of my stepfather. I do it so that I never have to feel beaten up again, or afraid.” Tears are escaping my eyes again. I’m so sick of crying all the time. The emptiness of pain and defeat is something I want to leave. I want to feel like I’m worthy of something like I mean something for someone to do something. I don’t want to feel so alone, even when I’m surrounded by people.

“I won’t say anything, but Em, you can’t go through with this. You will end up dead. Your stepfather has no mercy for a woman.”

“That is exactly why I do it.” Linda kept quiet. I know it’s dangerous, and that’s why I have to do it. I have to show him he has no hold over me.

“Just be careful.” She pads me on the shoulder and left with the files, leaving me with my dark thoughts and painful memories.

I sigh a few times before I drag myself out of the office and into the hallway, where I heard a loud scream coming from one room.

I can’t quite make out if it’s a woman or a child. All I know is that it’s disturbing.

I pulled the curtains open and a woman in labour is looking at me like “what a fuck are you doing here. Get out!”

“Sorry, sorry I thought” I held my hands up in embarrassment before closing the curtains again.

What a hell is wrong with me? Every time I hear someone scream or cry, my mind race to abuse and pain.

The scars my stepfather in the grave on me are deeper than what I thought, and every time I see him, the cuts just bleed all over again.

Maybe I should leave here. My mother is not alive anymore, and I have nothing left here anymore, except Blake, who probably thinks that I’m using him right now after the burst out in the restaurant.

I wish I can speak to my mother right now, even though she never said anything and was scared to death always, she always listened, it took her to actually die for me to realise she was always there even when she said nothing at all. That was her way of protecting me by putting on the armour of silence.

I remember how she would come to my room after my stepfather pass out on the couch and played with my hair. She never said anything about how he would hurt her or how he would disrespect her. I would go on and on about how wrong it is, and that we have to leave. I still don’t understand why she didn’t leave?

Either way, I will avenge her death, and I will make him pay for what he has done to me and my mother, even if it means dying myself.

I grab my gym back and headed to the gym.

My eyes caught on to Blake where he trains and it’s a beautiful sight, a scary sight, but yet so beautiful. I want to feel as fearless as he is, as confident in my mind and body as he is.

“Blake is training, you should come back later.” Vicky is whispering behind me and pulled me out of my awkward stares.

“I know, I’m... I “

“I said you can come back later,” she said a little louder than a few seconds ago, making everyone stare at me.

“I’ve got this,” Blake answered before I could say anything back to her. My veins actually boil out with anger or embarrassment. I’m not actually sure what I’m feeling right now, but my face is heating up.

“Are you okay?” Blake asked, passing me water.

“Yeah, thanks. I can come back later if you’re busy?” I lowered my face and tried not to sound so desperate as always.

“I’m done.” I don’t answer. I know he said he won’t help me train to defeat my stepfather, but I need this.

“Blake.”

“I will help you, only because I love you.” My eyes meet his, and I can swear he said he loves me.

“What?” I stumbled over the words. I’m not sure that I heard correctly.

“You heard me, I love you, and I rather have you defending yourself before I have to pick you up gin in a pile of blood.” he pulled me closer with a bright smile and his adorable dimples.

“Thank you.” That’s all I could say. I’m pretty sure he was waiting for me to say I love him back, and I want to. I’m just not sure how to say it out loud. Or even how to say it at all.