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His statement seemed to do the trick of breaking the spell he'd casted on her, if he'd actually did, because she slowly pulled back to drop her arms which were around his neck, to snatch at her phone.
She raised a hand to gently push him aside, as she brushed past him, headed back for her aunt's house, with different thoughts racing through her mind. Wasn't she over with Demir? How had she suddenly gone from just talking to kissing him? And her body had responded to. Did that mean she wanted to get back together with Demir?
God, even at that moment, she was still unsure of how she felt.
Josh was just walking into the guest house, when she turned by the corner, heading out of the apartment.
"Oh, here you are." He said, sounding surprised she was still at the guest house. "Janine told me you went home."
"Yeah...I was just about to leave." She replied.
"I'll take you home." He smiled and that was the least thing she wanted at the moment.
"I can go by myself."
"It's late, Tahti. I'll take you." He said, and from the corner of her eye, she could see Demir was watching from the window.
"Alright, then."
Tahti's mind kept mulling over the thoughts of what a nuisance she was as she walked home. She'd left Los Angeles for Santa Barbara, to get away from Demir and everything and the whole party followed her there
And to make matters worse, she kept wavering every single time she had a moment with the guy she thought she hated. She wasn't even sure of her feelings anymore.
"I, umm..." Josh was saying beside her, his hands behind his back as she turned over to look at him.
"What is it?"
"I feel the timing is wrong." He replied.
"What do you mean?" She asked and he didn't respond. Rather, he turned to look ahead and Tahti followed his eyes.
Just a couple of feet away, was a fancy forest, which was adorned, with tons of fairy lights. The sight would have made any girl go crazy and gush in excitement, but Tahti felt confused.
"What's all this?" She asked and became speeches, the very moment Josh whipped out a bouquet of flowers from behind him.
He looked shy as he raised his head to lock eyes with her.
"This is a flower called lisianthus and it means..." His voice faded and she wondered if it was because of the fizzled look on her face, before he raised the bouquet to her. "Will you accept this?"
Lisianthus flowers, she repeated and tears blurred her eyes as she recalled the meaning. lisianthus flowers were only given to people
and that was the very last thing she wanted from either Demir or Josh.
"Joshua." She called as she slowly raised her head from the bouquet. "You're a really good person."
It seemed like he understood where she was going. "Then..." He was saying and the tears that had welled up in her eyes, started to stream down her cheeks.
"But, I don't think this is a good timing, like you said. I can't have a relationship with you, right now." She said.
The hands holding the bouquet suddenly lowered and Josh sighed.
"Is it because of Aydemir Wilson?"
So he knew too. There was no need to deny it then.
"Honestly, I can't say it isn't...I ran away and came here because of him, too." She replied, feeling a stab of guilt on finally announcing she'd ran away.
"Then, do you want to go out with him again?"
He asked.
"It's not like that." She replied, while shaking her head, knowing she was lying. She herself, was confused and didn't know what she wanted, but she felt she'd be disappointing Josh, if she told him what was close to the truth.
"Did I disappoint you?"
He'd probably not expected her to admit she was involved with Demir.
"No." He replied, almost at the same time that another year made its' way out. "I already knew you'd say this, so a little thing like this won't change my feelings for you."
She rolled her eyes with a sigh, getting the fact he didn't want to criticize her.
"Josh, you're really romanticizing me, right now..."
"Then, just..." He was saying and she stopped to listen. "...don't disappoint me even more." He said and tousled his hand, through his hair. "God, I can't believe it either...but I like you. I like you so much, that I don't know what to do...but, I'll tell you something as a friend...I understand how you feel, so don't be too hard on yourself."
Did he?She thought as she dropped her head. She could have chosen to lead him on, but he deserved more than that.
"I'm sorry." She said, finding it difficult to break down in tears. Her life was really messed up.
He dragged in a breath and opened out his arms to hug her, but Tahti was quick to step back.
"You'll feel better after you cry all you want." He said and she shook her head, as she raised it.
"No. I would feel more sorry for rejecting you." She replied and turned to race home in tears. She'd been the one who rejected Josh, so she knew she wasn't supposed to be one crying, but she'd been unable to hold it in, back there.
Why? She was the pathetic one, who didn't know what she wanted.
Demir looked up with a sigh to see moon hiding behind the clouds, as he reminisced on his brief kiss, with Tahti. It was a good thing he'd talked or she would have run off again, after another misunderstanding.
He lowered his head on hearing someone's entrance at the gate and barely a few seconds later, Josh walked in, holding a bouquet of flowers, with a sad look on his face. Clearly, he could guess what happened.
"Did you take her home sad?" He asked, making the question, seem more like a taunt.
Josh slowly turned round to face him and Demir was able to get a good look at the flowers. They were lisianthus.
"You must really love her a lot."
"Yeah. Unlike someone...so, stop confusing her." Josh replied.
"It's none of your business, you know." He threw, with a smirk as he folded his arms. "Do your think Tahti is easily swayed by me?"
His riling him up was working, he noticed as he saw Josh's knuckles clench round the rejected bouquet.
"No,not at all." He replied and Demir could see through his lie. "Tahti keeps saying she regrets the time she spent with you and she wants to forget every single moment."
"Really?" He taunted as he dropped his arms. "Well, I guess we just have to wait and see how try that it." He said as he rose to turn to head into one of the rooms.
