22

"You just don't get it," he said, sounding almost desperate. He looked at me intensely for a few seconds, but then he turned away from me and ran to the door, which just hurt me indescribably. Although I was angry with him and everything that stood between us, but without his presence I somehow felt as if I was missing something and that was almost unbearable.

"Kiyan, wait," I shot out, but when he turned around to me again, I didn't know what else to say and so he left my room and I felt lonelier than ever.

Tears slowly rolled down my cheeks as I stood frozen, staring at the closed door. Was it all still real? Was it possible to fall in love with a person after a kiss, after a secret, after such looks? This was so confusing to me and I just flopped exhausted on my bed while the tears kept falling on my pillow showing how much I had already let him get to me...

When I slowly opened my eyes in the morning, I just wanted to fall back asleep quickly. My head hurt, my eyes felt swollen and even the piercing burned uncomfortably. If I were to die of blood poisoning now, it wouldn't bother me at all...

I got up, startled, and pondered the thought. How bitter did I have to be to see myself after the death of a boy I hadn't even known a week? It wasn't me and I was ashamed to feel that way. What I needed to be around at that moment, and fast, were my friends and a good mood. I didn't want to end up over something that hadn't even really started.

I got up quickly, put on black jeans and a white blouse and tied my brown hair in a high bun. I wouldn't shed any more tears for him, especially after realizing he was really into something with Chloe.

I left my room with my head held high and then accidentally ran into my mother in the kitchen, who apparently was working from home today. Her laptop was on the table and papers were everywhere.

"Good morning, would you like some coffee?" she asked with a smile and I was surprised that she hadn't even asked me how I was since Dad left. Always just whether I wanted something to eat or drink. Did she think just meeting my basic needs would make her a good mother?

"No, thanks. I wanted to see Micah," I informed her and wanted to go to the door, but then I heard Kiyan behind me and I felt that nasty tingling in my stomach from his voice that I didn't want to feel anymore.

"I'll come with you. I forgot something with him," he stepped next to me and looked at me innocently, as if he hadn't hurt me last night.

"What did you forget? Chloe?" I replied annoyed and then angrily opened the door to run ahead of him into the sun.

"How could I ever forget her. You remind me of her every hour," he tried to be funny, but I ignored him.

"Kiyan, you really are absolutely inscrutable. You should be an actor," I turned to him, shaking my head. Inside, I felt desire and anger in equal measure again, which catapulted me back onto that roller coaster of emotions.

"My God, Mia! Don't you still believe me?" he got louder and I automatically stopped when he stopped.

"Why should I believe you? I hardly know you," I retorted and he suddenly looked angry, which made me quite uncomfortable.

"Exactly! You don't know me! You have no idea about me and my life, but you judge, just like everyone else! How am I supposed to show you who I really am when you only see the obvious?"

I pondered his words, avoiding his angry gaze.

"You're like everyone else," he said with a contempt in his voice that sent chills down my spine. How could he think I would judge him? I didn't and I wanted to tell him that, but he ran back to our house and I didn't have a chance to explain myself. I just wanted to know the truth and not be constantly confronted with new mysteries.

That was it with my confidence and my head held high. Again he managed to throw me and my feelings completely off course. I didn't even know if I should run after him or continue to Micah. Why didn't this chaos just stop!

Angry, sad and overwhelmed I continued on my way and when I got to Micah's I burst into tears before I could even ring the bell.

"Good morning," a sleepy Micah opened the door for me and immediately gave me a shocked look. Sobbing, I let myself fall into his arms and at that moment I was just glad to have him with me. His strong arms around me gave me strength and thanks to the fact that he kept stroking my back soothingly, the crying stopped quickly.

I slowly broke away from him and then he closed the front door behind me. "Coffee?" he asked briefly and only then did I remember that he probably still had problems with his tongue. I nodded and wiped away my tears, and he grinned at me and pinched my cheek encouragingly.

When he then disappeared to the right into the kitchen, I ran into the living room and only then noticed that there were still a few people who had apparently missed the end of the party. Or maybe Micah couldn't communicate because of his tongue and nobody knew when to leave.

But what really shocked me was the scenario I discovered at the dining table.

There was a guy I didn't know and that same stranger was making out with a girl I instantly recognized as Chloe. Either Kiyan was really telling the truth and they weren't dating, or she was the biggest bitch around.

My heart was racing with excitement and when the doorbell rang behind me, I immediately ran back to the front door and had no intention of opening it. I didn't want Kiyan to see that. It would hurt him, or it wouldn't. I had no idea and just wanted to protect him from this disappointment.

was i still normal I was beginning to doubt it...