39

Zayn, the now-dressed Adam, and Micah were sitting on the couch chatting about women and their workouts over a few beers while I settled into the easy chair on Kiyan's lap.

Micah kept glancing at us, but quickly turned his gaze back to Zayn, who was doting on about a girl I didn't know.

"Are you sure you don't want to drink anything?" Kiyan asked me quietly and held out his beer, which I declined with a smiling shake of the head.

"One should stay sober," I joked, but I meant it. Despite our conversation, I somehow still had a queasy feeling about Micah. Under alcohol he could become a time bomb and I wanted to prevent that at all costs.

"Believe me, you haven't seen anything as hot as this Mandy. She acts shy, but I'll drive that out of her," Zayn clinked glasses with Adam and Micah toasted him as well.

"Does she know about her happiness yet?" I asked Zayn and he just winked with a dirty grin.

"Not yet, but we could have a party here tomorrow and I'll invite you."

All color drained from my face immediately. The day after tomorrow my mother would be back and throwing a party the night before seemed pretty risky. I turned to Kiyan for help, who I suddenly discovered was playing around with his phone and when I glanced down I immediately saw Chloe's name.

I unobtrusively turned my head further and wanted to know what they wrote, but suddenly he turned his phone and took my chin in his hand to look deep into my eyes.

"Do you trust me?" he whispered, not taking his eyes off me so that I stopped to take a breath.

did I trust him? ... well, I really wanted to trust him, but all that writing with Chloe meant something, didn't it?

I pulled my chin away from him and turned back to the others, who seemed to have gotten to the point of alcohol. I didn't feel like going into this topic in front of the others, but I would come back to it.

"Well, I can definitely get some cases of beer. Still have enough in the basement," Micah said to Zayn, who immediately nodded with a grin.

"And I'll bring the hard stuff. So everything is set for tomorrow."

My stomach churned as I realized there really was going to be a party here without anyone even asking my opinion or permission. How considerate they all were with alcohol in their veins...

"I'll be right back," I said softly and then got up from Kiyan's lap, who apparently didn't even notice because of his cell phone. The other three didn't look at me either, so I realized I was completely invisible and would certainly not come back.

It started so well, and yet it ended with a shitty feeling deep inside me. With my thought carousel I ran into my room, lay down on the made bed and left the others to themselves. Everyone should do what they wanted. I just wanted to sleep and tried to put tomorrow's party and Chloe out of my mind.

was i too jealous How was I supposed to know when he hardly spoke to me about anything... how would he feel if I sat on his lap writing to a boy I was dating and had slept with often? Hardly as relaxed as I am, because he already ran away from the spin-the-bottle game.

I let my mind blank out in frustration and closed my eyes to snuggle into my blanket and surrender to the tiredness.

Goosebumps covered my arms and I felt those light, gentle kisses on my neck. I slowly opened my eyes and noticed the little light from my bedside lamp illuminating my room slightly. The door was closed and only our breathing could be heard in the house.

"Are you awake?" Kiyan whispered in my ear and pulled my waist so tight against his warm body that I immediately noticed his hardness on my bottom and winced slightly.

"Yes," I breathed, closing my eyes.

At that moment there was no more Chloe, no party tomorrow. Just him and his touch that made me tremble, breathing faster.

"Turn around," he whispered assertively, and I did so without giving a second thought to not doing it. "My little one," he smiled and kissed my forehead as we lay face to face, looking into each other's eyes in love. How did he switch so quickly? He pulled me into a whirlpool again and I wanted clarity.

"What is it with Chloe?" I asked myself and I was even glad I asked it because I finally wanted to talk about it.

"Oh, Mia," he immediately rolled his eyes, rolling onto his back. "I promise you, I haven't dated anyone else since I've been dating you and I don't intend to," he said calmly, turning back to me to tuck one of my brown strands of hair behind my ear . "But there's something that connects Chloe and I that has nothing to do with sex or love. When I'm ready I'll tell you, please trust me."

His intense way of looking at me left me no longer suspicious, and even if it was, I was willing to get involved with him anyway, to let myself fall with him. I've lived by risking nothing for far too long, and it was worth every risk.

I carefully placed my hand on his cheek and immediately his cold gaze changed to something that seemed so warm that the sun began to shine in my heart.

"Do you want to go with me?" He asked with a smile and purposefully grabbed my buttocks. "I know how hard it is to trust, especially after what happened to your mother. If you want to be with me to make you feel safer, then let's try."

His words got me thinking and he was absolutely right. I wanted to be with him and a part of me wanted to be his, so I agreed with a smiling nod and he leaned on me and wedged himself between my legs.

Good bye mind and all my clear thoughts!

"Where are the others?" I breathed curiously and at the same time enjoyed the tender kisses he distributed on my neck while he supported himself on the left and right of my shoulders on his arms.

"They're gone," he whispered between his caresses, pressing his hips even tighter against mine, causing me to hold my breath, overwhelmed. So I was alone with him... and with him between my legs, I knew where this night was going to lead.

Am I ready for my first time?

"Hey," he interrupted my inner monologue and looked down at me to study me intently. "Is everything okay with you?"

"Yes," I breathed, looking deep into his brown eyes before wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing my lips against his.

Instantly, pure desire flooded through me. I was ready, and even if I wasn't, I wanted to be because he was the first and only one my body was responding to so intensely. That just showed how badly I wanted it... how badly I wanted him.

Tenderly he sucked on my lips, played around mine with his tongue again and again and made everything in me tremble with pleasure. His kisses alone triggered so many things in me, I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to feel him inside me, but I wanted to find out about that too.

"Get undressed," he said assertively as he pulled away from my lips and got up to finish off his clothes. He got up, leaving only his boxer shorts on and I stared in fascination at his tattoos and every single muscle of his upper body, which I had seen before but kept impressing me in new ways. He just looked too good.

He caught my stare and then took my hands to help me up. "If you think it's getting to be too much for you, tell me and I'll stop right now."

His eyes locked on mine and while his gaze heated my body and I felt more than desired by him, I stripped off the top of my clothes and let it all fall on the floor next to me.

I sat in front of him with only my pants on and I immediately felt the warmth of my cheeks as his excited eyes darted over my breasts.

"You are so beautiful," he breathed, pushing down my torso with one hand to begin kissing gently across my breasts.

He ran his tongue in circles around my nipples, sucking on them lightly over and over again, and I closed my eyes to let myself fall under his touch in this excess of feelings.

He kissed a line down, then stopped just short of my piercing and licked a path around it with his tongue before arriving at the waistband of my pants, making me wince slightly.

i wanted more Wanting to feel completely absorbed by him and without being ashamed of it, I pressed my hip against him and ventured a look down at him.

He also looked at me with his mouth slightly open, then grabbed my waist and lifted my pelvis a bit to pull down my pants and underwear.

"Kiyan," I groaned when I felt his fingers on my middle and let my head fall back on the pillow to enjoy the tingling in my abdomen.

As if he knew exactly where my sensitive spot was, he put his tongue on it and drove me towards my first climax, which I just endured completely happily with a soft moan and contraction of my muscles. Everything in me trembled and raged. Waves of excitement swept over my body and drove me insane.

"You're so wet baby," he breathed against my skin, then got up to walk to his jacket hanging over my desk chair.

I was breathing heavily, nervous, and was about to drape the covers over my naked, satisfied body when he came back, smiling and shaking his head.

"Please don't hide from me," he said quietly, taking off his boxer shorts, whereupon I immediately averted my gaze from his best piece and blushed again.

Damn it was big!

"Will it hurt?" I then asked in a trembling voice, looking up at the ceiling until he lay naked between my legs and placed his hand lovingly on my cheek.

"It's going to hurt a bit for sure, but I'm going slow, trust me."

Our eyes met again, his arms were again placed to the left and right of my body and looking at us intensely, I then felt his cock on my wet middle.

I immediately grabbed his torso and struggled for support while holding my breath and feeling him slowly and carefully enter me. I wanted to close my eyes, surrender to the feeling, but he took my chin in one of his hands.

"Look at me," he then commanded, and when I turned my eyes back to his and my breathing became faster and faster, he carefully penetrated deeper and deeper into me, making my abdomen glow, but I could also feel a pain that hurt more and more the deeper it slipped into me.

"Kiyan, it-" I cut myself off with a loud groan as he suddenly, without regard, entered me firmly and completely.

"Fuck, Mia," he whispered, falling onto me to rest his head next to mine and cup my hips with his hands. It hurt indescribably, but the longer he was so deep inside me, the more the pulling twisted and made way for lust and desire.

"Go on," I almost begged and immediately he got up from my upper body, kissed me gently and then looked at me urgently again.

In a steady rhythm he penetrated me again and again in firm thrusts, unleashing a firework of emotions in me and making me embrace his trembling body and press me closer to him.

I felt like I was one with him, like I was closer to him than anyone had ever been before and grateful for the passionate feelings he was triggering in me, I started kissing his neck and pulling him down closer to me. His sweaty skin on mine, his soft, aroused moans, his hips moving firmly and incessantly inside me...

All of this brought me close to my next climax and breathing faster and faster, clutching him tighter and tighter, he also got faster and pushed further and further into me.

"Come on, little one," he whispered, tugging my hair slightly to watch my face very closely as I orgasmed. I came, moaning loudly at him and clenching my muscles around his cock, which then started twitching inside me as Kiyan collapsed onto me, panting.

"Kiyan," I just breathed and stroked his trembling back to get some breathing again.

"Mia," he breathed against the skin of my shoulder and I closed my eyes because I just wanted to feel his closeness and absorb all these feelings deeply.