43

Drunk, I followed him down the dark street a bit, still angry at everything. But he had told me in the eyes that he loved me, which made me grunt with joy so much that he turned to me in confusion.

How embarrassing! Could this roller coaster ride of emotions please stop and let me off?

"Did you just grunt?" he asked in amusement, stopping in front of me to give me an amused look.

"Maybe," I replied, trying to stay serious, but his I love you was still tingling through my entire body. He'd breathed it against my back this afternoon, but right now he was saying it deep in my eyes and all I wanted was to fall around his neck and inhale his smell as I melted in his hands and-

"Mia?" he snapped me out of my thoughts and I gave myself a quick shake to clear myself. "Are you doing well?"

"Yes," I nodded, immediately noticing his nervousness as he then sat down next to us on a small wall that belonged to my neighbor's house.

I sat down next to him and stared at the floor, impatient for an explanation that would justify that bitch Chloe's presence.

"It's been two years," he began, looking into the darkness ahead of us. "Zayn, Adam, Chloe and I were all drunk and just came home from a party. Chloe was obsessed with me, especially when she was drinking and that night I finally made her realize that I never had feelings would have for her."

I kept glancing sideways at him as he played nervously with his hands and breathed heavily. I would have loved to have hugged him. He looked so sad, but I sat still and gave him the time he needed.

"Zayn wanted to eat something so I took Thomas' car. During the drive, Chloe kept tearfully arguing with me, which made me quite angry and made me drive way too fast drunk down the streets until I got flashed and Chloe insisted on driving because she thought I was too drunk, when she drove a lot worse than me, especially because she was so angry with me."

He paused again and a very bad feeling arose in my stomach. Breathing shallowly, I watched him stand up, look at me with tears, and start shaking slightly.

"All of a sudden there was a woman... with a stroller. Chloe could-"

He fought back tears, ran his hands through his hair, breathing heavily, and turned his back on me, only to turn back to me after a moment of collecting.

I then also noticed the tears running down my cheeks and didn't know what to do or think. The alcohol was gone. I felt more sober than ever.

"The woman didn't stand a chance and we just drove on and took off. We swore we would never tell anyone. It was the worst time of my life. I didn't eat for days and just watched the news. Luckily the baby survived " he sobbed. "But not the mother... Adam started smoking weed to get it all out of his mind. Zayn has carried a flask with him at all times of the day since that day and I have never touched alcohol again."

I tried to process it all and was just speechless. Chloe had taken a child's mother... and even if it was an accident, I couldn't figure it out at the moment. He wiped his tears and stood broken in front of me and I wish he hadn't told me all this.

"Chloe's obsessed with me. She's playing with me, Mia. She's threatened to rat me out to the police on a number of occasions if I don't give her what she's asking," he explained, then walked a little closer to me . "Ever since she knew how I feel about you, she's been threatening me with it every day and I'm starting to stop caring. I'd rather go to jail than continue to be blackmailed."

I looked at him confused and hated that bitch so much I wanted to go back to the party to smack her until I realized it was her fault so why was she blackmailing him?

"Why would you go to jail when she drove?" I looked at him questioningly and he closed his eyes briefly to take a calming breath.

"I was flashed 10 minutes before the accident ... if that came out, the police wouldn't care if she was driving. No one would believe me."

"I believe you," I said softly, and then we looked at each other in silence for a long time. It broke my heart to see him like this. Knowing what Chloe had done and that she would be willing to make him pay for it. Of course he was complicit, as was Zayn and Adam, and clearly I was shocked that they'd just walked off, but it was immediately clear to me that Chloe was the bad guy in this story.

What did she want? Whores and him for herself when she felt like it? What a miserable beast she was!

"You have to believe me, I really don't have anything to do with her and I never wanted to tell you all this, but all I really care about is that you can trust me and that you can still love me despite all this shit."

I sat on the wall, stunned, and let his gaze take hold of me. That coldness he radiated... the sadness that seemed so ingrained in him. I understood his way of dealing with everything. Also, I finally understood Adam and his upset... and then there was Chloe, for whom I felt nothing more than hatred...

She had caused an accident, killed someone and instead of doing penance and taking responsibility for this catastrophe, she blackmailed him... It was too much for me.

"Kiyan, I want to go home," I said coolly, holding back tears again. I had to sleep, process everything and let everything go through my head in peace.

"Mia, please talk to me," I heard Kiyan, but I got up and just walked home without answering.

"Mia..." he kept saying so tormented behind me and yes, I would have loved to have turned around and hugged him tightly, but I had to come to terms with myself first.

"Damn it! Listen to me!"

He grabbed my arm, turned me around to face him and then gently placed his hands on my cheeks.

"I know we should have all acted differently then and believe me, I regret that night every day, but Mia, I can't go to jail for someone else, do you understand that?"

Standing under the night sky, his eyes darted across my face, searching for a reaction, but I didn't give him one. Chloe, who was probably dancing happily with Juline in my living room right now, had him all over her and with it me. How should this continue?

"I believe you...everything you say, but what do you expect from me now?" I asked him quietly.

"Expect? I don't expect anything from you, Mia. I don't want to lose you... I've only just found you... You trigger so many things in me, I won't let anything stand between us anymore", he whispered and took me tight in his arms. "I can't and won't hide or repress my feelings for you out of fear. I can't."

His head on my shoulder, his hands on my back and his smell in my nose... It all felt so familiar even though it was so new and yes I didn't want to lose him either. Others developed such feelings over years, it took me just a blink of an eye and I knew immediately that he would be more for me. As if fate had given me a sign the first time I looked deep into his eyes.

"We'll find a solution," I breathed and then slowly pulled away from him to give him a gentle kiss on his cheek. He smiled at me, tucked a strand of my brown hair behind my ear and placed his warm hand on my cheek. I closed my eyes, enjoyed the tingling on my skin and then felt his lips so soft on mine.

Putting my hands on his trembling chest, I let myself fall into that passionate kiss, forgetting everything and me around, until he withdrew with one last tender suckle on my lip and looked at me lovingly.

"We'll get through this together, trust me," he smiled, and yet the chill was still anchored in the brown of his eyes. But this time it was different to look at, because I understood where the cold came from and knew who he was. A good man who has endured too much.

"Hey," Zayn came out of the house behind us and when I turned around I saw Mandy holding his hand, which despite everything made me grin. "The party in there is escalating a little," the brown-haired man then laughed and took a sip of his mug to hand it to the beaming Mandy.

"What do you mean escalated?" I asked uncertainly, biting my lower lip nervously.

"Well, a few girls are topless, the guy with the mustache is stripping, and I'm pretty sure there's fucking going on in Kiyan's room."

I looked at Mandy with wide eyes, who confirmed everything with a nod.

"Where are Chloe, Juline and Micah?" Kiyan then asked and Zayn briefly lit a cigarette, then immediately took Mandy's hand again and gave her a fleeting smile.

"Micah and Adam go after the women and I haven't seen Chloe and Juline in the living room anymore."

It only lasted a second before I gasped and ran towards the house. I didn't let the half-naked people stop me in the living room. I only noticed the music and Micah's voice, which I also ignored.

When I got to my room, I pushed the door open and immediately looked at my desk, where Chloe was sitting, looking at me with amusement. Juline stood behind her and immediately avoided my gaze guiltily.

I looked down as if electrified and only saw scraps of my drawing pad. She tore everything up. There were drawings of buildings that were already being demolished, drawings I made when I was much younger... and now it was all destroyed.

My anger rose to my head so much that I couldn't hold back my tears. "Keep your hands off things that aren't yours!" she warned, tearing up the last piece of paper and then standing right in front of me.

"He's not a thing!" I hissed angrily, clenching my hands into fists.

"Ohhh are you crying?" she laughed softly and looked behind her at Juline, who looked more ashamed of what was happening. She knew exactly what each drawing meant to me.

"Get out of my room," I yelled with a trembling voice, but this bitch just laughed again, which then somehow made me go crazy.

I grabbed her wrist and tried to pull her after me, but she broke free and shoved me against my door.

This little bitch.

I immediately stood in front of her again and pushed her so hard that she almost fell backwards over my chair.

"Let it be!", I said loudly, but she immediately came at me like a fury, jumped at me and pulled me to the ground with her.

She pulled at my hair and tried to sit on me, but I pushed her aside and tried to hit her until I felt someone on my arm trying to pull me away.

I had so much hate inside me that I kept trying to kick her and break free, but I didn't stand a chance against Micah. He held my arm and wouldn't let me loosen it.

"Let go of me," I yelled at him, howling in anger. "Stop it, Mia! That's not you!", he said and that only made me angrier.

"Listen to your pooch!" Chloe spat and got up to walk towards me with a grin, but before she could swing back Zayn suddenly appeared and grabbed her neck roughly.

"Both of you," he pointed to Juline and Chloe. "Get off now, right now!"

"Zayn you bastard, let go of me or...!" Chloe threatened, but he pushed her neck down a little so that she groaned in pain.

"Who talks like a man, gets hit like a man! Now get out of here and never look in my face again!"

He pushed her towards the door and when she straightened up again, she gave me another hateful look. "You'll regret that!", she threatened and then disappeared into the hallway.

Micah let go of me and it was only now that I felt my whole body shaking. Zayn, who was standing in front of me by my bed, also looked deathly pale. Nobody said anything until Juline slowly walked past us and gave me a sad look. I avoided her gaze, looked at the torn leaves on my floor, and was on the verge of tears again until Zayn pulled a small vial out of his jacket and silently handed it to me.

"Where are Kiyan and Mandy?" I asked him and he just nodded towards the door.

"They end the party and the threesome happening in Kiyan's room," he grinned stupidly and I just shook my head.

Micah walked past me and crouched down to pick up some of the leaves that were still reasonably whole. I did the same, handed Zayn his bottle, sat cross-legged next to Micah, and surveyed the wreckage of memories.

"It's all fucking shit."

With these words, Zayn sat down opposite me and handed me the bottle again. Even if I wasn't in favor of drinking alcohol to suppress problems, it was a good solution that night.

After a while of silence, Kiyan, Mandy and Adam also came into my room.

"Everyone's gone," Kiyan said quietly, then looked at my torn drawings between us, shocked. Without saying anything, he came over to me and sat behind me, legs apart, to pull me tightly to his chest and to stroke my arms soothingly.

For once, Adam lay down on my bed instead of under it and Mandy sat down next to Zayn to take his hand and smile at him.

"Thanks for being there," I whispered, letting my head fall back against Kiyan's chest to close my eyes for a moment.