42

"What's the matter with you?" Zayn came into my room and sat down on my bed to give me a questioning look.

"Kiyan said he would go to you, but Adam said he was never with you."

"So you mean he has to tell you where he is at all times?"

I glared at him angrily and rolled my eyes in annoyance. "Of course not, but then he shouldn't lie to me and admit he's with Chloe."

Zayn just nodded and then got up to look at the picture of me and Juline on my bedside table. I've been meaning to get rid of it for a long time...

"Chloe and he-" "Some connection! I know," I cut him off in frustration, and started the bottle again.

"Yeah, but that's really complicated. I've known Kiyan for so long, he really likes you and I'd give my hand for him not having anything with her. Just trust him."

Zayn had good things to say. At least he wasn't lied to. The tall brown-haired man looked at me with pity, leaning calmly against my door. "There's something he hates himself for and if he's willing to tell you about it, you'll understand it all. Believe me. And Chloe is just a natural disaster taking advantage of him. Believe it or continue to wallow in self-pity."

He looked at me intently and then gave me his hand, which I took annoyed and stood up. I really wasn't in the mood for partying or people at all, but moping around here wasn't going to get me anywhere.

"You can. Just smile and mingle," Zayn grinned before leading me down the hall.

Which people?

I followed him with my now empty bottle and already felt the alcohol in my head. I was warm and had the feeling of swaying slightly, which is why I sat down directly on the armchair on the right in the living room to watch Mandy and Adam chatting across the street.

When they noticed me, they both looked at me for a moment, but then sank back into some topic, which I didn't really care about.

"Zayn? Me too, please," I called out to the brown-haired guy who was just across the room from the fridge, taking out a bottle.

"Water might be-" "Are you going to be my babysitter now?!" I rolled my eyes, then had to smile just because he was kinda looking at me like he was proud of my confidence.

"Somebody has to keep track of things here," he came over to us with a grin, two bottles, handed me one with a wink and sat down next to Mandy when the doorbell rang.

Without feeling responsible for opening the door, the three of them suddenly all stared at me. "Aren't you going to open the door?" Zayn then asked and I frowned in confusion.

"Why should I?"

"Because it's your party?" he replied, laughing, and just because her stare was getting obtrusive, I got up and walked to the door.

"Wuuuuuuuhuuuuu," shouted a tall guy in a baseball cap and just ran past me into the house. He was followed by several scantily clad girls and the last man to enter holding a keg of beer and sporting a mustache looking like he was someone's father.

my party I didn't even know anyone.

When I then wanted to close the door again with wide eyes, the next group of women came, all of whom swayed and looked as if they had been drinking all day.

"Zayn?!" I exclaimed in shock and stood next to the door with my arms crossed.

He turned to me and gave me a thumbs up before turning his attention back to Mandy. Typical man!

The two men made fun of my radio alarm clock, the women danced without music and one of them then switched off the big light, so that only the weak light from the hallway illuminated the living room enough that you could just see everything.

"Is that your house?" the old man with the mustache asked me, coming so close in front of me that I felt slightly uncomfortable from his pungent smell.

"Yes, why?" I said uncertainly and he pointed to the refrigerator.

"Can I make room there? So for our drinks?"

I nodded and thought nothing of it. It wasn't until I watched him just toss my food into a bin liner to put his damn alcohol in it that I was on the verge of an outburst! nobody!!! Really no one had the right to throw away my salami!

I was about to slam the door behind me and walk into the open kitchen when I felt a hand on mine and immediately smiled. He was finally here...

"Hey," I said sweetly, turning to immediately see Micah's amused face, which made me gasp. I really didn't expect that.

"But someone is happy to see me," he winked and took me in his arms for a moment, before letting his gaze wander over the large room.

On the right at the glass table the girls had started to play beer pong and on the left on the couch the three of us were still sitting. The rest were just in front of us in the middle, which has somehow mutated into a dance floor.

"Where's Kiyan?" Micah then asked, raising his voice a little because my good old clock radio was more capable than I expected. He glanced over at me, and I just shrugged unknowingly. This question alone just got on my last nerve... and then throwing away my salami!

"Come on," I said to Micah, pulling him behind me to the kitchen island to fill two mugs for him and me. I still had Zayn's Jägermeister and then mixed it with coke.

The music was loud enough to dance to and luckily the radio was playing some decent stuff too, so I rocked back and forth slightly and then handed Micah one of the cups.

"Are you alright?" Micah then asked me worried as I clinked glasses with him and I just nodded, whereupon he grabbed my arm and dragged him down the hall to my room, closing the door behind us.

"What's that about?" I snapped at him and, out of sheer dizziness, I slowly sat down on my desk chair.

"Something's wrong with you. You're absolutely weird," he said, sniffing his mug cautiously. "Since when do you drink that hard stuff?"

I gave a short laugh and took a sip, then set the mug down on my desk and turned on the little lamp.

"I usually drink tequila and that straight, so this can't be compared here," I defended myself and stared up at him.

"Mia, I know you. You drink so seldom and when you do, it's in a good mood and not because you want to suppress something," he said and crouched down in front of me to gently place his hand on mine. "You can talk to me."

"How do you know I'm trying to repress something?" I asked him angrily at the fact that he was forcing me into a conversation. I really wanted to put the thought away as to why Kiyan was lying to me, but if Micah continued like this I'd be totally sober in 5 minutes.

"Because I know you," he whispered, and I pulled my hand away to stand up.

"Apparently not well. I'm fine, I just want to party, so don't spoil my good mood!"

I grabbed my mug and staggered past him into the hallway.

"Are you coming?" I turned around again, whereupon he followed me in silence.

Back in the living room, I joined the guy with the mustache by the kitchen island who was about to take a step toward me, but Micah stepped between us and turned to face me.

"Who is that anyway? Isn't he-" "Too old?" I interrupted him with a grin and finally his worried expression disappeared and a smile spread on his lips.

"You can put it that way," Micah whispered and we both glanced at the guy again before I sighted the front door for some reason, which then also opened seconds later.

When Kiyan came in with his leather jacket and his tousled black hair, the sun rose in my heart despite all the evil, but it disappeared again as soon as Chloe and Juline came in behind him.

I held my breath and next to me, Micah didn't move at all. It seemed to me that everyone around me went on living while our time stood still and could no longer move.

I felt hot, as if my hatred for the black-haired woman was flooding my veins with poison, and at the same time my jealousy made my hands tremble. Not only are Chloe and Kiyan in pain, but also because Juline had apparently found a new girlfriend.

My eyes fell on Zayn, who had said so much, which was probably just a lie, because he also just looked confused at Kiyan and then got up to run towards him.

The two of them disappeared out the front door together while the Nobitches Instagram hashtags came at me and Micah.

"Great party," Chloe grinned at me and stood across from me on the kitchen island to simply take my mug from my frozen hand and sip it with relish. "Oh, I see you've got your lapdog back," she then turned to Micah, leaning forward so that her breasts could almost be seen beneath the loose black top.

Juline just laughed stupidly while I imagined jumping for the two of them's throats.

"Who do we have here? Don't prostitutes have to work at night?" Mandy suddenly stepped up to me and Juline immediately took aim at her.

"You should know best!" Juline spat back and suddenly it wasn't about Kiyan anymore, but about Zayn himself. "Also, I would be careful what friends you choose. Mia has a habit of straddling Zayn. Accidentally, of course," Juline winked and then it was Micah who wanted to say something, but Chloe didn't let him speak .

"Well, if you can't have one, you take the other. The main thing is that you can have it filled out, who is then of secondary importance."

I would have liked to cut the dirty grin off her face, but I tried with all my might to avoid an escalation.

"You're not wanted here," Mandy suddenly hissed, but Chloe just triumphantly tossed her black hair back and smiled at Juline.

"We were invited by Kiyan, so I'd say we're more than welcome here."

We just stood there looking at each other with hatred while the other people still danced around us and the music broke the silence.

"Well, let's go dancing," Chloe said and pulled Juline behind her to put on a kind of lesbian show together.

"They really need it," Mandy breathed, and as soon as this seemingly endless rigidity released me, I walked past them outside, where Zayn and Kiyan were standing at the black Mercedes and talking loudly.

As I approached them and they noticed me, they stopped talking immediately. Great feeling!

"Can we talk! Now!" I looked at Kiyan who was leaning against the car and nodded.

Zayn gave me one more quick look and then disappeared behind me down the small path back into the house.

"Have you been drinking?" Kiyan asked me immediately, looking me up and down. My anger kept rising. With all this shit, who cares if I had a drink???

"Why did you lie to me? And why are you bringing Chloe and Juline here with you?" My voice was shaking, but I really tried not to scream, even though I wanted to.

"When did I lie to you?" he took a step towards me, but I staggered back and didn't let his way of looking at me get caught up again.

"You said you were going to Zayn..."

I stopped myself and had to hold back my tears.

"Mia," he whispered, wrapping his hands around my waist to stand close in front of me. "I was at my parents' old house all day. I wanted to take pictures and think... about us. It wasn't my intention to lie to you."

I sobbed and took a deep breath to look up at him. Did I really believe him? Was he a person who could lie without batting an eyelid?

"And Chloe and Juline were already at the front door when I got here."

He took my chin and pulled me closer with his other hand. Why couldn't it just be easy? Why did all this have to throw me off track? How so ...

I stood in front of him sobbing, feeling bad for implying so much to him that didn't seem to be true, and at the same time feeling completely dissolved, as if the queasy feeling in my stomach was justified when I thought about him and her.

"You just can't trust me, can you?" he breathed suddenly and despite the veil of tears I could see his eyes turning cold again. He let go of my chin, took a few steps back, and leaned his back against his car while my mind was so full of thoughts I could barely put my words together.

"Yes," I then said quietly and wiped away the individual tears with the sleeve of my gray sweater. "But I just can't understand so many things. Shouldn't it be easier? I mean, falling in love and being with someone?"

My frankness in talking about all of this shocked me. It was probably because of the alcohol, which was good on the one hand, because otherwise I wouldn't have dared to express my feelings so honestly.

"It's easy. You yelled after me that you love me, but you don't accept that Chloe is a part of my life. I can promise as many times as I want that she's not going to work out and hardly am I a few hours away, you come towards me crying. What does that tell you?"

We stared at each other for a few seconds. Seconds that felt like an eternity, but eternity ended when I finally decided to turn my back on him. There was no point in talking about it tonight. The alcohol seemed too strong for that and I was far too angry about Chloe and Juline jumping around in my house.

Before I could even take a step toward the house, Kiyan grabbed my arm and turned me to face him.

He just stood there with his warm hand on my cheek and looked deep into my eyes.

"I love you," he breathed, giving me a quick kiss before pulling me down the street after him. "I'll tell you everything you need to know, after that you can decide for yourself whether you can still love me."