I can't do it

Ciara's pov

The phone rang that made me quickly glance at it and so Hannah did who's driving right now on the way to our home. We were just silent for almost a half hour now and I don't know what was going through her head, but, until now, I still can't get over the thoughts of what she just told me a while ago about her parents.

It's making me feel so guilty knowing that she had no parents anymore since she was what? A kid? Honestly, I didn't think of that, because whenever I'm seeing her in our university back then, she's always wearing her smile as if her life was so perfect and not carrying any problem, but I just thought of it. Right now, I can feel pure regret and want to apologize to her right away, but it's too late for it, because I just had done it. I stole the only person she used to be her comfort zone without thinking that she might have no longer had a parent to lean on.

Tyron's right. I'm evil inside.

As the phone kept on ringing that was breaking the silence between us, I grabbed it and looked at the unknown caller of screen who's now making me frown because it doesn't seem to be familiar to me, nevertheless; I answered it. Where did this person get my number?

"Hello?" I haven't even got to ask who it was when I got startled by its loud and shrill voice from the other line.

"Bestie!!" I immediately put my hands away from my ear when her high-pitched voice sent a thundering feeling all over my system. I felt like my eardrum had just broken for a moment. Santa Maria, who in heaven and earth is this person?! And the guts of her calling me a bestie, huh?

"You alright?" Hannah mouthed, not making any noise as she asked me, looking so confused. I nodded at her and got back to the caller again.

"Hi, may I know who's speaking? I think you called the wrong person, miss." I asked calmly, but confusion was quite obvious in my voice. My mind was just so occupied all my life that I couldn't even remember any person who I encountered in the past. Could she have become my friend before?

"Huh? What do you mean by calling the wrong person? How could I call the wrong person if I completely remember your whole number?! Gosh.. I'm offended! How could you forget your one and only pretty best friend, huh? How could you?!" she exclaimed and even if I can't see her in person, I can even imagine her having a long face right now, even though I don't know what her face looks like.

"Did you really forget about me?" She really sounds like sulking while I'm still in the process of recognizing her voice. It sounds familiar... so familiar that it kinda gives me a happy feeling in my nerves.

Do I know her? Why can't I clearly recognize her voice? But it really sounds so familiar to me. Who is she?

"I knew it! You didn't recognize my voice, did you? It's me, Jennifer, your best friend! Oh God, you just literally ruined my mood today. I'm so annoyed at you, Ara. I'm about to cry here just because my best friend totally forgot about me. Wow." She sounds so offended, but my lips loosened and blink twice when someone snapped in my mind. I covered my mouth because it shocked me when I finally remembered who she was!

There's only one person who loves calling me Ara. And it was her... It was my best friend. Jennifer...

"No, no! Omyghash, wait! Are you telling me you're Jennifer?! Jennifer? My best friend?! Oh God, come on! I didn't even recognize your voice! How are you?!" A series of questions escaped from me when realization hit me. I couldn't believe that I was talking to a person who became my partner in life. It filled me with joy when I heard her giggles.

"Yes! Finally, you remember me! I thought I was going to sue you from now on for forgetting me. Well, anyway! Just so you know, I'm back here in the Philippines and I'm missing you so much, so prepare yourself because I will see you in a minute!" She excitedly burst, but I was immediately taken aback by what she just said.

S-she's back? No way..

I gulped once before I cleared my throat.

"R-really? You're here? Since when?" I asked, trying to hide the extremely anxious I was feeling.

"I just arrived today and I'm still planning where will I stay for today," she answered.

"Have you thought of it already? Where are you right now?" I asked, biting my fingernails because I was nervous. I can't stay still in my seat because she doesn't know my situation right now. She can't see me like this. Most especially, she cannot know that Tyron was the one who's doing this to me, because what she all knew was Tyron was a great man. The last time she saw us together, we were still in a good condition, but now... I can't say any words. It's worse than the worst.

Tyron's not the same as he is anymore.

"I'm driving right now, going straight in your house. I really missed both of you so I wanted to check how you are too. Especially Ty. Gosh, for sure. She's taking care of you so well, am I right? Yiee! I still can't forget his promise to me he'll never forsake you and always take good care of you, no matter what happens. And now I really can't wait to see you both, I'm so excited that I might find new lovely birds, haha! Tell me... you have a child already? Come on, I heard nothing from you since what? 2 years ago, gosh!"

I was completely silent from what she all said. He will never forsake me. It's all a lie, Jen. He lied to you; he lied to us.

But wait. Did she just say she's driving now on the way straight in here? Fuck, no way!

"Why?" I heard Hannah ask. For a moment I covered the speaker of my phone before speaking, so Jen wouldn't hear anything clearly.

"She's on her way to our house." On the inside, I was horribly panicking. Sweats were forming on my forehead and rapidly flowing down. It cannot be. She can't go there without me. Tyron isn't the same anymore, like how she used to be known by Jennifer. He changed, everything about him changed.

"What? Does she even know what your condition is right now? She might be endangered if you let her see Tyron alone." Hannah said, worries were so noticeable in her eyes that made me more restless. I can't even sit properly and keep on glancing on the road, looking if we're already near our house. But, we're not even at least on the half of the road through the house.

Right now, I just feel like flying to get home right away.

"Ara? Are we still there?" I was taken aback when I heard Jen's voice.

"Y-yeah, I... I just went out so I could wait for you outside. Have you eaten yet?" I came up with such an excuse.

"Are you that excited to see me?"

"I just missed you."

"Me too. Well, I haven't eaten yet, good thing you reminded me. I'll just stop by the restaurant here, then I'll go straight there. Wait for me, okay?" She excitedly replied and dropped off the call. I sighed in relief.

'Tyron isn't like how he used to be, so I'm worried about what might happen to Jennifer once she arrives there, not with me. Just a few minutes later, we finally arrived at home, and the lights were already on, just a sign that Tyron was already home too.

"He's here," I uttered, and glanced at Hannah. For a moment, she reached for my hand and gently squeezed it.

"Always remember what I had told you, okay?" I nodded.

"Now, go. Take care," she smiled at me.

"Thank you, Hannah." I waved my goodbye as she turned the engine of her car and left.

As I turned my body back, I let out a deep breath first before plodding my footsteps forward and held the knob to open the door. When I finally rotated to open it, I was startled when Tyron greeted me.

"T-Ty.."

My nervousness rumbled in my chest as I could see how dark its aura was right now. He was glaring at me to death. It didn't surprise me anymore as I felt his palm land on my cheeks that it made it numb for a second. My gaze pinned on the floor, preventing myself from being emotional and feeling the pain it caused me.

Call down, Ciara. You're already used to it, right? Hold back your tears, please, just at least for now. Fight for yourself and don't just cry. It's your time to keep your promise to Hannah. You need to stand for yourself.

When I finally managed to calm myself down, I loudly sighed and opened my eyes just only to meet his dark and sharp gaze, but I didn't let myself be infected by how he glares at me, and tried my best to resist his gaze.

"Where did you get the courage to do it in front of me, huh? Really? Letting your guy drop you off here? Infront of my house?" I frowned at what he just said. I can already sense his anger in his tone that at any moment, I knew he could never restrain himself from laying his hand on me. And I didn't fail, because, as just as fast as I was about to open my mouth to speak, he was about to throw his hand on me again when I quickly caught his hand and immediately reversed the situation, applying his own hand land on his face, making him taste the bitterness of his own medicine.

When shock showed on his face because of what I did, I quickly stepped my foot back. I gulped when I realized what I just did. My heart seemed to melt when our eyes met, shocked and disbelief was so clear in his eyes. But I quickly erased what was on my mind. I refrain myself feeling any guilt or filtyness towards him.

He deserves it. He must know how painful it feels having his hand always throwing at my face. I can't just be a martyr all my life. I know I can do this; it was just a slap, I shouldn't feel guiltiness or what.

He won't die in a slap, Ciara. Stop being so fool.

"It's not your business anymore if I let anyone drop me off here. You're not even doing your obligation to me, so why bother complaining about something you didn't even try to do in the first place? And stop telling me what to do, because you haven't even heard anything from me, when you just told me you have a wife." I sarcastically burst at him. He was stunned for a moment, but his gaze immediately turned into a sharp one.

"Ha!" He sarcastically chuckled as he averted his eyes from me. I kept my fist closed when he gently wiped the edge of his lip and turned his glares at me.

I was taken aback from standing when he suddenly grabbed my arms and pulled me inside the house. I tried to flee, but his grip was just too tight that I can now feel my arms getting red.

"Ah!" I shouted out of pain when he forcefully bumped and leaned me against the wall as he raised my right hand against the wall, then pinned it tightly. I had difficulty breathing for a moment because of how close his face was to me and the tightness of his grip on my right hand, while his left hand was cornering me.

"Tell..." I nervously swallow when he's directly looking into my eyes, staring at me with his squinty eyes, and the smell of his alcohol wafting through my nose.

"Who's your fling?" He asked, slowly and almost whispering, mouth slightly open while his eyes remained staring at me. He's obviously not in his sober mind, when his eyes slowly landed on lip and smirked as if he's seeing something from it that he wanted to steal. I gulped, while trying to gasp for air.

"Beautiful.." he murmurs.

"Am I still the one who owns that pretty lip of yours, hmm?" Our eyes met and felt like someone suddenly electric on my body. My body couldn't respond immediately because of the shock of the sudden change in how he acted in front of me.

He's drunk...

"Too bad if someone finally gets that. I badly want to own it, but I wonder if your flings have already stolen my property, hmm?" He smirks at me while directly looking into my eyes that made me feel so uncomfy.

"So tell me, who's that freaking guy who's trying to hook you up?"

"N-no one," I responded, stuttering, and I couldn't seem to speak properly because of the uncomfortable feeling. But my eyes almost widened as he suddenly pulled my waist closer to his, causing our bodies to stick together.

"Are you trying to replace me?" His eyes even softened.

"N-no." My knees weakened because of how tight he's already up to my waist.

"Then who was that?"

"I-it's Hannah-"

"Liar."

"I'm telling the-"

"No! You're a liar." he frowned at me. I don’t know what’s going on with him, but his gloomy eyes were so obvious.

"I'm-" I gasped, when he suddenly released my right hand and grabbed my jaw tight.

"Liars go to hell and a goddamn talent like you must take me to heaven.." he evilly whispered in my ears that gave me so much spine chilling. His tone was so cold and deep.

"Now, tell me. Aside from flirting and lying, what else can you do?" Glare replaced his sly eyes.

"Let me guess it, you're good at dancing on top of other guys, right? Slut." My brows furrowed when I felt a pain strike in my heart because of the words he blurted out. My sense seemed to lose when I just found myself hardly pushing him away from me. Rage was now trying to reach out to my lungs that made my breath move heavily. The pain and anger I was feeling was so much that I couldn't even handle it anymore and just turned into tears. Eyes were welling while glaring at him, full of hatred and shame.

How was he able to insult me without even knowing a single thing about me?!

"Why are you looking at me like that? Are you guilty? Hahahaha, come on, Ciara! Don't act as if you're too innocent, you can use my body too-" I can't hold myself back anymore and just finally let my anger throw at him by throwing a hand on his face putting all my pressure and anger to it for him to feel how I was so disappointed at him right now.

"Hurt me whenever you want, just don't you fucking dare insult and degrade me!" I burst out, crying my heart out. Is it that how small and less important he looked at me?

He looked shocked, but I don't care. The hit of the alcohol on him seems to be lost as just as hard I pushed slapped him, pulling him back into his sober mind. For a moment, he looked guilty, but it didn't last long and still managed to get up from the floor and walked towards me with his heavy footsteps.

I stepped back.

Instead of saying something, he just gave me a sharp gaze and managed to grab my arm, forcibly dragging me to where the dark cage was. I tried to fight, but he was so strong.

"L-let go!"

"Let go? Fine, here!" It startled me when he suddenly let go of me and harshly pushed me against the wall that made me weakly stumble on the floor and unexpectedly throw up blood.

Felt like I suddenly became a statue as I saw blood on the floor, as if I had lost my strength and my tears were starting to escape from my eyes. I just felt my chest tighten and my eyelids getting heavier that made me want to close my eyes.

'I'm sorry, Hannah. But I don't think I can do it.'

Before I completely lost consciousness, I heard someone's loud voice.

"What the fuck did you do to her?!"