38

A R Y A

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The dress Joy gave me was beautiful. The burgundy fabric nestled against my body like Semeera's finest silk, inviting my hands to run over it again and again. The skirt that billowed around my legs reached to the floor and I had to lift it up so I could walk down the stairs as elegantly as possible without falling over. After all, the high heels of my fine ball shoes caused me enough problems.

I had unbuttoned my braids tonight so I could style my hair in a pretty updo, and I was new to the slight breeze that was now blowing down the back of my neck. Everything about me was new to me. My bare, unpainted skin, my hair pinned up, the elegant dress, the shoes, even the plain makeup on my face felt unfamiliar.

I pushed back the queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. Then I just had to reinvent myself, so what? Not too bad. I still hadn't fallen into the gorge, the bridge was shaky but it held up.

The string quartet filled the vast ballroom in front of me, enveloping the chattering crowd of werewolves from across the kingdom, and all my saddening thoughts flew away when I sighted them at the top of the stairs.

"You look lovely." His tone was cool and calculating, as if he were discussing business.

Frowning, I stepped next to him, struggling to keep my balance on those wobbly shoes. He had donned a smart black tuxedo with a matching tie. Hot, sexy and irresistible, with those sea blue eyes and that golden crown sparkling in the light of the ballroom's many chandeliers.

But he was different, not like my xenos. He seemed cool, distant, and absent. As if he were completely stuck in his thoughts and not consciously staying here. Which of course was all bullshit.

"I'm happy to return the compliment." I clutched my dress to keep from pulling him toward me. He was so close to me that even without touching him, I could feel the warmth radiating from his body and I felt hot and cold at the same time. I wanted to press against him, caress his bare skin and kiss that gorgeous mouth. Immerse myself in its smell and feel it deep inside me. God, I felt like it had been forever since he'd pulled me against him. Ever since he grabbed my chin and kissed me hard and demanding. His tongue on mine. His mouth on my skin, sucking and biting until every single part of my body was marked by him.

And now? Now he wasn't even looking at me properly. Didn't talk to me Didn't touch me The stain on my neck was beginning to swell, and the bluish-green discoloration was almost gone. It was as if his hands had never been on my body, as if his mouth had never met my skin. As if I never heard him.

And while I'd always found it a little odd and animalistic, I missed it now. I felt hollow, like my life was made of nothing.

"Something's missing," he said then, catapulting me out of my jumble of thoughts. After waving someone over, he gently lifted the tiara from the pillow and placed it on my head.

I seemed to have forgotten how to breathe and for a split second he looked at me. Straight in the eyes. Time seemed to stand still and I searched for him, searched for the loving, tender look that he had reserved only for me.

"The first dance is reserved for the king and queen." With that, he averted his gaze and took my hand. "Come."

"Wait!" I stopped him, louder than I intended, then added, with a subtle clearing of my throat, "I can't dance." “Heaven, I would do like a gazelle on skates!

“That won't be a problem. I will guide you.” No argument was allowed. "Come on, no one will venture onto the floor until we do the first dance."

Hand in his, I followed him through the crowd that split in front of us, aware of the many eyes on us. They had decorated the ballroom magnificently. Pretty flowers, a glittering bar and round tables covered with white tablecloth.

Arriving in the middle of the dance floor, he put one hand on my waist and took the other in his hand while I stood there undecided.

A hint of a smile briefly crossed his mouth. “Over here.” He took my hand and put it on his shoulders.

I waited for him to pull me closer. He grabbed my neck and kissed me. That “for Gaia's sake” he would do anything to show me that all was well between us. That he still wanted me.

The string quartet began a new piece and Xenos made the first lithe steps of the dance without dwelling on me. Without smiling at me again.

I tried to be as skilful as I could and just follow him, but it wasn't that easy. Damn waltz! It would have been far better if they let us fight with two swords. I knew my way blindly to “this” dance.

"How's the attack going to look like tomorrow?" I then asked him, unable to bear the burning sensation of the looks that seemed to dig a hole in my back and the silence between us making me uneasy.

"We'll discuss everything at tomorrow's meeting." Short and sweet and without looking me in the face.

I let my hand run down his arm and back up to his shoulder. Inhaled his scent, which smelled so much of pine and manhood, and wanted to tilt my head back to sniff it even more. "I have another idea that might give us an advantage."

I was abruptly spun around as the music rose to a crescendo, preparing for the climax. My skirt billowed and the crowd cheered. Then he pulled me to him, supporting me with his arm around my waist and leaning me back, his face less than a breath away from me.

My body tingled at the close and my diaphragm tightened in tension as I felt his tightening grip on my waist. The long-forgotten butterflies were back, fluttering in my stomach like their lives depended on it. “I missed him so much.”

His other hand wandered up my arm and then slowly wrapped itself around my neck. grabbed.

I gasped, waiting for those hard, wet lips to finally touch mine. And then he looked at me. Not a quick blink, an intense, long eye contact, and it was only then that I realized his eyes weren't the ones I knew. They flickered back and forth. Light...dark...light...dark...

I've witnessed several times how dark its seas can get, how abysmal they could gaze into me. But it was the first time that they almost resembled a velvety black.

"Morning. Everything will be fine tomorrow.' He whispered, then planted a small, fleeting kiss on the mouth that got the crowd cheering and he was about to pull away when I grabbed the back of his neck to deepen the kiss as well I froze.

There were bald streaks on his head. I ran my fingers through his hair again. “Scar”.

"You scalped yourself?"

Dark, wild eyes and suddenly I was aware of the claws on my neck and on my waist. I studied his face. Pale skin, bloodshot eyes. By what thin thread did his self-control hang? I didn't dare to move. "You can't collect them anymore, can you?"

But he didn't answer me and I just saw that flicker in his eyes. Light...dark...light...dark... Like he was fighting demons I couldn't see.

"Whatever's bothering you, tell me." I stroked his stubbly cheek despite his warning snarl. "I'm here for you."

As if someone had thrown a bucket of water over his head, he straightened up and then let go of me like I was a hot potato. I saw him storm off and give the other wolves a sign that the dance was officially on, when he already disappeared between the audience.

Low murmurs from the surrounding crowd, hundreds of unashamedly staring pairs of eyes watching my every move with eagle eyes, just waiting for me to do something to fuel their gossip. But I refused to become a topic of conversation for anyone. So I adjusted the tiara on my head, which had squirmed a bit with the quick spin of the dance, lifted my chin and stared at anyone who dared to look my way.

"What are you waiting for? Dance!” I barked at her in a steely voice, proud that she wasn't even shaking.

Then I lifted my dress and waved the line of smartly dressed werewolves apart to give me space. The crowd split without further arguing and I headed towards the Baar. If there was one thing I needed right now, it was alcohol.

"What would you like, Your Highness?"

I leaned against the glittering bar counter. "Just give me the strongest you've got."

And so the evening went. I watched Zaira and Aramis twirl around the dance floor together from time to time, Reah joined me with a very questionable orange drink, I caught a glimpse of Georgie and Isaac here and there and found that I liked the taste couldn't stand alcohol.

By the time it was almost midnight, and I still hadn't seen Xenos again, my mood was low and so was my patience. Without tormenting myself any longer, I left the hall and stepped straight into a brightly wallpapered hallway that led to the kitchen, when someone also turned into the hallway.

She had followed me.

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