23

Nate's POV

Totally uninterested and relatively bored, I stare at the ad company's graphics, trying not to fall asleep, but it's harder thought than done.

My mind keeps wandering to my kitten and this picture totally intoxicates me. I think of her beautiful legs, the ample breasts and her wonderful pussy.

Tense and tense, I sit up and try to hide my throbbing erection. However, the more intensely I see the image of my Sophia in front of me, the harder it is for me and I absolutely have to distract myself, otherwise I will just get away from the thought of her.

I only have two days to go without her and yet it seems to me that a year has already passed without her.

"What are you thinking Mr. Vance?" my older brother-in-law Josh asks me, grinning widely, knowing I wasn't listening.

"I'm sorry I wasn't listening. What was that again?" I reply tensely, pushing Josh under the table and looking sternly into the manager's face.

"I-", "Mr Vance, Claire Clarksen would like to speak to you. I told her you were in a meeting, but she said it was extremely important," Stefanie interrupts.

I apologize to the men and leave the room before going to my office where my ex-wife is already waiting for me.

"What do you want, Claire, and what the hell are you doing in Seattle?" I ask annoyed, leaning against the wall next to the door.

Claire is a beautiful woman and very sexy. We've always had a lot of passion in our marriage and yet it doesn't seem anything in contrast to what Sophia evokes in me.

"I'm pregnant, Nathan," she says, staring at me with those blue eyes.

My heart skips a beat as the words hit me and I narrow my eyes.

"The child is not mine," I say immediately.

"Yes. The Met Gala almost two months ago? We shagged in the bathroom bareback."

I can actually feel the color leaving my face and swallow hard. That can not be. It just shouldn't be. Not now. Or not at all.

"I don't believe you.", "Are you serious?? Damn, Nate! I carry your child inside me!", "Who knows who else you've fucked before me, Claire. I won't be that child without a DNA test accept it. If it's mine I'll take care of it, if not then we'll go our separate ways," I hiss at her, unable to put into words how angry I am. My anger is not only directed at her, but above all at myself. I was careless and careless, something like this was bound to happen.

What am I going to do if Sophia finds out about this? My little kitten is still much too young to deal with such problems. She'll probably freak out and leave me. I just pray this child isn't mine.

"You're such an asshole.", "And you're a bitch. Glad that's settled, but I don't have time to state the facts. We're going to see the doctor together tomorrow and have this test done. Until then, you won't tell anyone . I swear to God that if Sophia finds out I will destroy you because you couldn't keep your mouth shut. And now get out." I hiss at her, looking sternly into her eyes but all I can think about is Sophia. I can't let her leave me. She's just not allowed to, although she has every reason to.

"This little one isn't worth it, Nathan. You end relationships, go to animal festivals and have your picture taken with her everywhere. But in the end you'll realize how right I was and then you'll-" "What I've been doing in my life with who instead is still up to me. Leave Sophia alone, Claire." I hiss, sighing, totally annoyed and angry at the whole situation.

"She's not wife material, Nathan, and you know it. She's perfect for an affair, but not for marriage. She'll eventually go back to her hot ex anyway, because he's just the same age and not nearly as powerful and influential is like you." Claire says, reaching for her bag and giving me an arrogant look.

Her eyes shine with provocation and hate, but sadness also shimmers in this ocean-like blue mixture that once made me so happy and now only gives me a headache.

"She loves me and as long as I know that I don't care. Now get out of here before I really completely lose my mind." I hiss at her, unable to bear to look at her divine face any longer.

"No one will accept you and your past but me and if she runs away because she finds out what a monster you were then I will wait for you. Until then I will be patient. See you tomorrow Nathan.", Claire replies totally calm and leaves the room while I almost collapse at the mention of my past. My heart is pounding against my chest and the blood is pounding in my ears. All my organs cramp up in my stomach and I can hardly bear the urge to gag. Oh god, I need to hear Sophia's voice right away or I won't survive.

My hand slips into my pocket and I immediately pull out my cell phone before, in a trance, I dial her number. I pace the room impatiently, waiting for her to answer, and when her voice finally comes through, I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Hi, Panther," she begins, her voice sounding like music to my ears; acts like a sedative throughout my body.

"I miss you kitten. When I get back I'll fuck you and I'll be inside you all the time. Are you excited for me?", "Of course I am, Nate. I love you and mine Body craves you. I bought loads of new lingerie and can't wait to see your reaction," she replies, and I groan briefly as images of her in lingerie flash before my eyes.

"I love you Sophia and no matter what I will always love you. Promise me something." I say, probably sounding like a pathetic hypocrite but that's exactly how I feel.

"Hmm?", "No matter what you hear from the media, you won't believe anything they say and everything I say." I say, running my hands through my hair in desperation.

"What happened?" Sophia now asks skeptically.

"I'll tell you everything when the time comes, love. Just promise me," I plead, completely losing the tone of command in my voice for the first time.

"You're scaring me, Nate, what's wrong?", "Promise me!" I scream impatiently now. "Until you tell me what's going on, I won't promise you anything," she hisses, and I can hear her hurt, causing my chest to clench and my breath to catch in my throat.

"I'll tell you as soon as I'm back in New York.", "Then you don't need to call me again until then, Nate.", she hisses, audibly disappointed, and shortly thereafter the line is shut down.

I take a deep breath and try not to lose my mind.

Just when things are going well with Sophia again, Claire or that little shit comes running along and destroys everything again.

Apparently that's the way it has to be and before it gets any worse I'm just going to put up with the situation and hope this kid isn't mine.

"And when can we get the results?" I ask nervously and not at all myself.

The night was catastrophic. My thoughts just wouldn't leave me alone and it seemed so impossible to fall asleep peacefully. So at some point I sat down at the laptop and continued writing my book, but after an hour that also no longer served its purpose.

As soon as it was morning, I picked Claire up and we drove together to an old college friend of mine who owns a doctor's office and had an appointment available.

So here I am, totally overtired, broken and mentally unstable.

"I'll email them to you in a few days."

I nod to him and together with Claire we leave the practice. My thoughts are totally disheveled and I'm more than happy to finally be flying back to Sophia in New York tonight. She's probably mad at me, but once we've seen each other, there's no going back.

This gala of my mother is totally inconvenient for me and I would prefer not to go, but what has to be, has to be.

I get into my van and give Claire a confused look as she enters the vehicle as well.

"Your car is in the back," I say sternly.

"I just want to talk to you, Nathan."

She takes a deep breath and when she opens her eyes, I see the tears in them.

My conscience speaks out, and yet my head and heart seem to be clamoring in denial.

"You humiliate me, treat me like a piece of dirt in front of this little whore and I put up with it, do you know why? Because unlike her, I really love you. She's only 22, how would she know what love is well eventually you will come around and just know that i will always be there for you i am going to abort this child anyway and if it is yours which i am sure it is then it would be me happy if you accompany me to the doctor.", the beautiful blonde explains to me, completely captivating me with the intense blue of her iris.

"Claire, once that child is gone, we will go our separate ways for good. I'm no good for you and you're no good for me. Leave me in your past as a reminder and a good friend. You mean a lot to me, but only as a friend . We have to let go of people sometimes to find them again and maybe someday we will find each other as good friends. But you have to let me and us go." See you then, Nathan.", she just says and leaves the car before the driver starts the engine.

In my head there is World War II and I feel like the Germans when they realized that there will be no more victory for them. Everything is broken, smashed, destroyed and yet you hope so much that something or someone will come and build you up again. That someone is Sophia and I need her more than the air I breathe right now.