24

My nervous gaze slides down my reflection as my heartbeat is nowhere near normal.

I haven't heard from Nate in two days and I don't like that at all. I miss all of his appearance and presence and last night after a brief mental breakdown I reached my limit.

That phone call on Wednesday left me totally stumped and annoyed to death that he didn't tell me what he was hiding from me. Because while I open up to him completely and tell almost everything, he still hasn't managed to completely remove the mask that he has perfected over the years. I love Nate, but until he puts all his cards on the table, I don't know if I can go on like this.

Today is the Aurora Vance Fashion Gala and I'm one of the guests of honor. There will be so many celebrities there and I really hope I don't embarrass myself completely.

I will be attending the event with Lia and Lily and the three of us are wearing relatively coordinated dresses and yet I feel like nothing next to the two models.

My hair falls in waves onto my breasts and my makeup is simple yet dramatic, matching my dress perfectly.

I wish I could have called Nate again, just to hear his soothing voice, which I need so badly right now, but I'll hold on and just get this evening over with.

When I arrive downstairs in the lobby, I can already see my boyfriend's beautiful sisters and I can't shut my mouth in amazement.

"You look very stunning!", I say smiling and look at the two.

The blue eyes of the two women shine so brightly and full of joie de vivre that I suddenly feel good and my thoughts of Nate disappear by themselves.

"But thank you Sophia, you yourself are a princess embodied today from a fairy tale like you usually only read in books.", Lia replies and takes my hands in hers.

She looks into my eyes and I have the feeling that she looks into my soul, sees all my feelings and the pain, which is why I look shyly smiling at the ground.

"I don't know what Nate has done again, but please be patient with him. You're such a perfect match and he needs you," she says, and I can see in the clear blue surrounding her irises that she even does does not say with evil ulterior motives.

"And we already like you too much for that.", Lily laughs and throws a black coat over her shoulders before the three of us walk past the photographer and get into the limousine, which then drives us to the hall.

Cameras from all sides make me half blind once again and unfortunately I'm standing in the middle, between Lia and Lily.

I feel like presenting myself; want to show everyone that Nate and I are together, but we're not.

While I'd prefer to keep it a secret just to avoid drawing attention to myself, I still want the whole world to know.

"We also have to answer a few questions, Sophia." Lia whispers to me and gives the photographer her beautiful smile.

Sighing softly, I then go to the first rows, where the video cameras are and people with microphones are running towards me.

I've never liked answering questions and that's simply because some of these reporters don't know their limits and want to know too much; sometimes even rude and mean.

A blonde with green eyes holds out her mic after asking me nicely how I'm doing and complimenting my dress.

"Sophia, would you like to comment on the pictures of your boyfriend and his ex-wife that were taken yesterday and the day before?" she asks, and my heart suddenly stops.

The gagging comes on too quickly and my stomach is clenching in such a disgusting way that I probably look like I've seen a ghost.

I have no idea what pictures she's talking about, and the more I think about Claire being in Seattle with Nate, the tighter my heart contracts.

Of course, I mustn't let that show on my face and totally convinced of myself, I turn my attention back to the blonde.

"They're both free people who shared a past and still work together, so there's nothing I can comment on," I say monotonously, with a courtship grin so fake I can't believe it myself buy off

"The building the two left together yesterday was a gynecologist's office and we heard from insiders that Claire is pregnant. What do you think about that?" she continues.

Now I'm really close to puking on the floor in the jet. That's what Nate meant with his confused talk on the phone. He got Claire pregnant and wants to keep it a secret from me.

Oh Nathaniel, if I get my hands on you, I'll cut you up, you miserable bastard.

"I don't want to comment on that. Have a nice evening.", I only say before I look around for John. I see him at the end of the red carpet and almost running towards him.

"Are you all right, Mrs Hamilton?" he asks worriedly and looks at me.

"Nothing's okay. But I can't make a scene here and now," I reply, swallowing and just then I hear the reporters start shouting my sister's name.

That's exactly what I was missing.

This evening can't get any worse and it's only just begun.

The thought of Nate having a child with Claire both disgusts and breaks my heart. Now, in addition to the past that binds them together, they will also have a child that will unite them forever.

If only he had told me himself. I probably would have reacted differently and it wouldn't have been so unexpected.

But now I know and I have no idea what to do. My head is a mess and my body can't seem to cope with this level of pressure. Let's just hope I don't break down in the middle of a conversation with important clients and completely lose my mind.

In the course of the evening, I am often asked about my dress and I chat with many other fashion designers, including Karl Lagerfeld and Tommy Hilfiger. I also meet Donatella Versace and get along well with the Victoria's Secret angels.

But I keep noticing the incredible lump on my chest, reminding me that my boyfriend is having a child by someone else. I just don't know how to deal with the situation.

When the food is served, I sit down next to Lia, right across from Mrs Vance, and luckily for me, Noah and Flora also sit at our table. The seat next to me remains empty and I look into Lily's eyes in confusion.

Shortly thereafter, I literally feel a wave as Nate enters the room. I feel it, don't even have to turn around to know it's him.

However, as my eyes slide to the entrance, my abdomen contracts.

He is standing there gracefully in his black tuxedo, which hugs his perfect body with every fiber. His hair is tied back, of course, and just thinking about what's hidden under that outrageously expensive fabric gives me goosebumps.

On the one hand, I'm so happy to finally feel him again, even if the physical distance is still there, because I just missed him so much and I enjoy the sight of his form. But on the other hand I would like to hit him with a baseball bat because he lied to me again.

Longingly and deeply hurt, I watch him walk down the long red carpet, greeting people and wishing them good evening before finally arriving at our table.

As I told myself, I decide not to make a scene now either, so I get up, smiling falsely, to greet Nate.

His beguiling smell, which defies masculinity and dominance, fills my nostrils and dulls every one of my senses.

"You can't imagine how much I missed you," he whispers to me as we kiss left and right.

The sound of his deep, raspy voice, resembling that of a god, almost confuses me and yet I can't deny what he is hiding from me.

"Will it be a girl or a boy? And where does Claire move in then? With you or in your hotel?" I reply with a smile, so loud that really only he can hear it.

I watch the color drain from his face as my words get through to him and my heart breaks again if it has ever stopped.

"Sophia-", "You should have told me Nate. I'm disappointed and deeply hurt. But I'm asking you at least once to tell me the truth. Did you cheat on me or was it when we were apart ?" I say, half sobbing, not daring to look into its green crystals or else I'll probably collapse.

"I would never cheat on you, Sophia. Please, look into my eyes.", he pleads softly and I shake my head.

"Excuse us," Nate smiles around and before I can protest, he grabs my hand and pulls me out of the hall and towards the elevators.

We enter the first one that comes and of course Nate takes a key out of his jacket and puts it in the plaque on the wall so that the elevator stops shortly afterwards.

Now I'm even more aware of the pull and I can't pull myself together any longer.

Nate's fingers around my arm capture her full attention and I can feel the juices of my pleasure already running down my leg. My gaze slides to the crotch of my beloved heartthrob and the lump in that place gives me trouble breathing.

"The week before I met you, I was at a gala with Claire one very last time, and after that I drank too much and she took advantage of it. Also, the child may not even be mine. The test It's already happening. She doesn't want to keep it anyway, so-", "So what, Nate?! Am I supposed to be happy about that now? You ripped my heart out of my chest with that lie; you literally ripped me to pieces. A Reporter asked me what I thought and it was like you stabbed me straight in the stomach with a knife then you didn't cheat on me but you lied to me again I thought you haven't been with Claire for 6 months? Sometimes I even wonder if you told me your real name Tell me how am I supposed to with all thisdon't doubt your love?" I ask, desperately wiping the tears from my face.

Nate's mask shatters into a thousand tiny pieces and I suddenly see regret in his crystal green eyes.

"I'm so sorry Sophia. I'm such an idiot just please...trust me I mean every word when I say I love you. You are the only reason for my breaths. Without you I can and I don't want to live. Please, Sophia," he breathes, pressing his forehead against mine, pressing his muscular body against mine, making my nipples instantly hard and stiff; my clit begins to throb pleadingly as Nate presses his erection to that precise spot.

"I can't take it anymore, Nate." I whisper wearily and shake my head.

"We'll make it, darling. I'll make it up to you," he whispers in my ear and before I can say anything, he kneels down in front of me and lifts the long fabric of my dress.

"You're leaking..", he whispers totally infatuated and licks the trace of one of my pre-cum up to my throbbing sex.

"No, Nate. I don't want that," I hiss, not half as convincingly as I'd like.

"Yes, you do. You want me," he moans, sucking on the skin of my inner thigh.

I have to stop him or I'll forgive him again and I told myself from the start that Nate would be different than the previous times.

"Stop it Nate." I sigh wearily.

"Sophia, don't push me off you. I love and need you too much," he whispers in my ear, while his fingers now begin to massage my clit.

I feel my resistance getting weaker and at that moment this small but important word falls from my lips.

"Green, Nate," I mumble, banging my head against the wall.

Every time that word leaves my lips, Nate freezes within seconds.

With his mouth open, he looks deep into my eyes, letting me see the bewilderment and fear in his green crystals.

"Don't do this, Sophia. I beg you," he breathes at me, making me shudder with his hot breath.

"You did it to me, Nate. Either you lay it all out in the open and God knows I'd forgive you for anything. Or you keep hiding everything about your life from me but then we're gone. I love you and Gosh, i don't want anything else but to feel your hard cock deep inside me but you make me feel like just a tiny little thing in your big life while you are the center of mine love is a two way street not my way either yours Secrets or I, Nate. Let it go through your head and now," I pull the key out of the board, "let's have a good day."

My heart aches as I see how much he struggles with himself. He should know he can tell me anything, but he's still so scared of my reaction.

Maybe I really should end this before it escalates.

"At least tell me you missed me, Sophia." Nate mumbles, following me out of the elevator.

I take a deep breath and then look into his green eyes. My hand slides to his bearded cheek and I enjoy the intoxicating feeling as our skins meet.

"I still miss you. Because even though you're only inches from me, there's a kilometer of distance that's killing me, which only you can break," I whisper, then turn back before I enter the hall and go to my table.

He has to tell me the truth or I don't know if there's any reason for me to stay. I love him too much to let him go, but still I won't hold on to anyone who doesn't want me.