32

My gaze glides over the Miami skyline that my apartment offers me and takes my breath away.

The last few months have not only been hard, but above all exhausting because something has changed in my life that I would have preferred to wait a little longer...

But now to the reason why I left New York after my kidnapping and didn't even turn around afterwards.

6 months ago:

"Why did these people kidnap me, Nathaniel?!" I yelled at him, still terrified from all that had happened.

The judgmental and sometimes worried looks of my favorite people rested on me and yet I didn't let them get me down.

"Answer me!" I shrieked, and while these people hadn't done anything to me, the fact that they had kidnapped me because of Nate bothered me.

"We don't have a very good history with these people, Sophia. They did the same thing to Noah's ex-girlfriend and-", "That doesn't mean they can do the same to me! Nate why - what did you do to them?! What do you want these people of yours?!"

My heart was aching and I could hardly look at Nate because he looked so broken.

A man as influential and strong as Nate was at the end of his rope and it was because of me.

"Please leave the room, I need to talk to Sophia alone." Nate said, staring at the floor while I rocked from one foot to the other.

"Nathaniel-", "Dad, please. I need to know why or I'll break down. Just go," I sobbed.

Reluctantly and a bit reluctantly, my handsome father nodded before leaving the room with my siblings and Nate's family.

"Just talk. Give me a reason not to leave you Nate. I need that reason..." I said walking towards him, looking deep into his eyes and seeing the desperation I swallowed hard.

"We were all so stupid and young, Sophia. I didn't know what I was doing and we were all so drunk..." he suddenly sobbed and grabbed my hands.

"Nathaniel," I pleaded sternly, watching him take a deep breath and then open his eyes.

"We've known the Rhodes brothers for years and we used to party together a lot when we were young. I flirted and had fun with their sister from time to time. Apparently she fell in love with me and when she realized As if that wasn't enough, a campaign by my father was the cause of her financial collapse and since then they've been after us, especially me." , he said and staunchly refused to meet my eyes.

"That's not the complete truth. Nate, what did you do to that girl to make her kill herself. Say it now!" I yelled at him when I caught him lying.

I already knew deep down that I would never see Nate again after that night. He loved me, I knew that, and while I loved him more than my own life, he was just too dangerous. I needed someone to protect me and not someone to endanger me unnecessarily. It wasn't until that night that I realized what a level of power Nate was wielding, and that fact made my whole body ache.

"I was on drugs and so drunk. It seemed so right and I didn't realize she was struggling..." Nate sobbed, the way his tears rolled down his cheek breaking my heart again.

"What have you done?!"

"I raped her..."

And with these words he had ended our love story.

While I was fighting for women's rights and the death penalty for sex offenders, the man I love was the cause of a rape victim's suicide.

It all seemed so surreal and my body didn't want to accept it at all.

I know Nate is domineering and authoritarian, but it never occurred to me that he could be capable of something like that. He was my loving panther after all. How could he assault an innocent girl?

"I was high on drugs, Sophia. Please believe me, I wasn't myself. It's been almost ten years! I've changed and since I've met you, I've been someone else! I beg you. ..", Nate said and walked towards me, but without really realizing it, I stopped him.

He seemed to be a completely different person from now on. All I saw in him was a monster.

"You are a monster, Nathaniel, a disgusting monster," I sobbed, running out the door straight into my brother's arms.

And that was the last time I saw Nate.

Today:

It took a long time and God knows how hard it was for me, but eventually I got used to the pain. I've realized that there are things in life that are more important and far more beautiful than miserable heartbreak.

After leaving Nate's apartment, I had a nervous breakdown because it was all too much. At some point, however, I got my bearings again and then started to pack my bags. The next morning I went straight to Miami and I've been here for almost eight months.

So much time has passed in connection with pain that I miss Nate on a daily basis, but I've gotten used to it.

At some point it will pass and even if I don't think so at the moment, I am firmly convinced that it will hopefully happen in the near future.

However, there is one thing that makes it that much harder to forget Nate and that is the love of my life.

Three weeks after arriving in Miami, I suddenly developed horrible morning sickness and when I realized I was late as well, all I had to do was put two and two together.

At first I had no idea what to do next, but it was clear to me from the start that I would have this child.

The months have passed and here I am, heavily pregnant and happier than ever.

I haven't met the love of my life yet, but the mere existence of my little angel has made me the happiest person in the world.

It was very complicated and cost us several thousand dollars to hide the pictures I took, but it was worth it.

To this day I didn't know that I could love a person as much as this little human and he's not even born yet. I heard his heartbeat for the first time and I was head over heels in love.

Harrison Robert Hamilton will be my little man's name because I hope by naming it after his grandfather he'll one day be just as great a man as he is.

Of course, I feel guilty for depriving Nate of his son and Harry of his father, but it will be for the best of all. Nathaniel was not and is not ready to start a family and maybe he never will be. One day I will introduce my son to his father, but not in the near future. Harrison deserves a quiet, boisterous, safe, and free childhood, without all the limelight and flashbulbs. I want my son to grow up normally and not in the circumstances Roven and I had to.

My love for Nate has intensified and maybe even increased with Harry, which isn't really an advantage.

Maybe I'll tell Nate about Harry, but on the one hand there's the fear that he'll set his lawyers on me and take my boy away from me, which I won't survive and that's another reason to keep quiet.

For once I want to live an uncomplicated life, but with the birth of my little king, everything will be even more complicated than it already is and yet I don't regret a single decision regarding Harrison, because he is and will always be the reason that keeps me alive.