37

I look into my ex boyfriend's eyes and deep inside my stomach everything tightens with disgust.

I've wanted to have a final conversation with Coen for a long time, but the fear that Nate would leave me because of it was too great, until today.

My husband's ownership is obvious and I know he's uncomfortable with all of this, but I'm so grateful to him for giving me the opportunity to put an end to my past.

Coen's brown eyes are still full of desire, showing me that despite having children and a wedding ring, he will still fight for me.

I don't want to swear too much, but now that I'm pregnant with number 2, nothing and nobody will separate me from Nate. He is my life and my children's example, the man who owns my heart and the man whose name is in my ring.

I sigh and look into the green crystals of my panther before I take a deep breath and start speaking.

"Coen, I want to hook up with you, but you're just not giving me the opportunity to do it. I have a husband, Coen. Okay, that won't stop you, but I have a young son. My own flesh and blood. That's what I'm about I'm pregnant again so I'm asking you, just be considerate. You don't give a damn about Nate, but my kids need to make you think twice." I say, looking into his eyes now, seeing how unimpressed he seems, but I know him too well to say with certainty he's really thinking about it.

"You're pregnant again? Damn it, Sophia, I should be the father of your children and not this prankster." He hisses and bangs his fist on the table.

Nate's hand claws into my bare thigh and I remove it, hissing slightly.

"Why are you so fixated on getting me?" I ask confused.

"Because you are the woman of my dreams, Sophia. You are beautiful, uniquely intelligent and talented, sexy and sweet as candy, humorous and responsible, just everything I've been looking for in a woman all these years," he replies and suddenly I am totally mad.

"Then why did you leave me four years ago, huh? We could have gone on, but you decided against me and for your profession, Coen." I hiss at him, annoyed.

"It was the worst mistake of my life."

I take a deep breath and realize how not only I have to pull myself together.

"Coen, what we had was special, yes. But it's over and nothing will ever happen between us again. For Gods Sake, Coen I'm a married mother who desires her husband and loves her son. Let me in Quiet please. You're the only reason Nate and I are fighting and I'm sick of it. I want to finally live without any complaints. If you really love me then you have to let me go."

I grab my bag and stand up.

"I'd be so happy next time to be able to smile at you instead of having to curse you. Farewell Coen. Thanks for everything, I want you to know that I don't have a single second of regrets or want to take it back," say me before grabbing Nate's hand and leaving the cafe.

I get in the car in silence and, really waiting for Nate to stare at me, he pulls me in by my waist before joining our lips.

He rams his tongue into my mouth, making me moan and my abdomen immediately tightens.

Nate slides his lips to my neck, sucking here, biting there, nibbling my skin there, driving me insane.

My hands claw at his hair and I rub against him longingly.

"I love you so much, Sophia," he gasps into my mouth, wrapping his fingers around my lower jaw and making me look into his eyes burning with lust.

"I love you, Nate." I breathe and lose myself again in his wonderful tongue play.

I happily wrap my arms around my father's body and hug him tightly, enjoying his familiar smell and realizing how much I've missed him.

"I missed you so much." He sighs and kisses my forehead before hugging me tight again.

"I missed you too, Dad," I reply, smiling, before breaking away from the hug.

Nate takes a step closer with Harry in his arms and immediately my son claps his hands, giggling.

My father extends his hand to my husband before taking Harrison from him and the two spend their usual minutes together.

Nate pulls me to his chest and kisses the top of my head, gently massaging my hips and I enjoy the perfect pressure.

"I want you all to myself for a week, Sophia. I need this so much." Nate breathes, playing with my fingers.

"What do you mean by that?" I ask, glancing briefly at Harry and my dad, who are looking at the fish in the restaurant's aquarium together.

My husband leans towards my ear, brushing his full lips against my cheek before sliding to my ear and pulling the flap between his teeth.

"I mean a week, you and me, an island in the middle of nowhere and sex. Lots of sex," he breathes harshly and hoarsely in my ear, making me shudder.

My hunger for Nate is now so massive that since yesterday all I can think about is his cock.

The thought of his hard cock pounding hard over and over again makes me dizzy and before I can stop it, I'm moaning softly in Nate's ear.

"That's how I want to hear you, only much louder. Nobody will be able to disturb us, Sophia. I'll be able to stay in you the whole time." He whispers seductively, chasing electric shocks through my whole body.

"We can't leave Harry alone for that long, Nate. How about a whole weekend?" I ask, playing with the ends of his blond hair.

"Okay," he growls, slightly annoyed, placing his hand on my bare thigh as his cell phone rings.

When I read the name on the screen, my whole body cramps.

"Who the hell is Olivia, Nate?" I swallow, looking into his eyes.

"She's a business partner, Sophia." Nate sighs and gets up.

"Then why aren't you on the phone next to me?" I continue, staring at the name and slowly starting to get migraines from the ringtone.

"You're being ridiculous Sophia," my husband hisses at me, then walks towards the door before answering.

I know Nate loves me and I've never doubted it, but the fear that he might cheat on me will always be there.

My trust in Nathaniel is strong, much stronger than I thought and I'm more than happy about that.

I know in my heart he wouldn't cheat on me, but I've just been screwed too many times and the thought of Nate doing it is heartbreaking.

When my dad sits in the chair in front of me with Harry, his eyes light up and make me forget everything else immediately.

It's been so long since I've seen my father, which is why I enjoy his appearance all the more.

"He's grown so much. I miss too much," he sighs, brushing Harry's hair away from his face.

"He's just growing too fast Dad, you're perfect." I smile and grab his hand.

"You grew up way too fast too."

My heart aches as I look into his brown eyes, which match Harry's one for one, and see that longing.

Since I've known Nate I haven't been spending nearly as much time with my dad as I used to and I'm so sorry, but now that I'm married and have a kid it just changes everything.

"How are you, Dad?" I ask to distract from the awkward mood.

"I've got my grandson on my chest again and my kids close by, I can't complain," he replies, handing Harry a piece of bread.

"And Carol?"

For a few months my father has finally been lucky with love again and you can see it in his eyes. Carol is the owner of a hotel chain and although the two have known each other for years, they only found each other this year. I'm just glad he's happy.

Just as he's about to reply, I feel Nate re-enter the restaurant and there's a flash in his eyes that I can't define but it's making me nervous.

"She's fine too. Did he do something, Sophia? If you want a divorce, that's perfectly fine. You know we all support you," says my father, looking at me worried.

Nathaniel's relationship with my father just isn't getting any better and there's nothing I can do about it. No matter how many times I tried to reconcile the two, it didn't work, and that's because my father staunchly resisted it.

"He didn't - do anything, Dad. What makes you think that?" I ask confused.

"He's got that look in his eyes. But it's fine with me, as long as he doesn't endanger you, I won't say anything.", he mumbles and Nate already sits down at the table.

"I hope you were able to clarify everything." I hiss and just hope that my father doesn't hear the strict undertone.

"Sophia." he just warns and I feel the tears coming.

These pregnancies are going to drive me crazy.

"Dad, I have something to tell you," I say after we've gotten our food and I've recovered.

"Go ahead, my angel," he replies, just handing Harry a spoonful of soup, bristling with pride.

"Harry won't be an only child anymore." I say, watching his reaction with excitement but also a little nervously.

The words seem to be slow to get through to him, but when they do, his eyes start to shine even brighter and his amazing smile doesn't get any bigger.

"You're pregnant?" he asks, swallowing, looking deep into my eyes.

I nod vigorously and he immediately stands up with Harry, coming to my side and wrapping his arms tightly around my body.

"Happy birthday, my angel," he whispers as I bury my face in his chest.

This reaction is so beautiful and just what I wanted but didn't expect.

"Do you already know what it will be?" he asks and sits down again.

I hand Harry his bottle and nod.

"A boy," I answer happily and proudly.

My gynecologist said that it will be a boy with relative certainty, as my blood values are almost identical to those of my first pregnancy and they would be higher for a girl.

"Can you call him Hannes? I know that you have already named Harrison after me and that I shouldn't really make any suggestions, but I think this name just fits so well.", says my father and I look at him in surprise.

I haven't thought about a name yet, but now that my dad has mentioned it, I'm starting to like it.

"The name's great, Dad. I'll think about it, okay?"

He nods, grinning, before turning back to Harrison.

"I thought I had the right to choose the name this time," Nate's voice suddenly sounds and the coldness in her gives me goosebumps.

"With Harrison, I asked you if you wanted to change it and you said no, Nathaniel. What's the point?" I ask annoyed and want to smack him in the face. With a chainsaw.

"You came to me when you were eight months pregnant and I was barely mentally stable. What else could I have said? Also, like you said, we named him after you, this time someone in my family should Pick a name," he says, taking a sip of his wine.

Anger boils in my blood at 180 degrees while uneasiness fills my entire body.

"Are you serious? Be glad I even got back to you," I hiss, close to tears. The way he looks at me and how quickly he suddenly switched from tender to cold makes me angry and totally sad.

"You didn't have to tell me about the child."

My jaw hits the ground and my heart bleeds as I look into his eyes. The way he called our son made my whole body shudder, sending spasms through my chest.

"Fuck off and don't come back until you've got your humanity back." I hiss at him and look away. It hurts too much to look at him.

How can he be so cold and heartless? He's talking about our son.

"I have no idea why you're being so damn childish, but you're not staying home today. Why don't you go to your fucking Olivia and fuck her and you might be happy again." I snap, ignoring my father's presence .

"This penthouse you live in is mine." "Okay, that's enough. Fuck you Nate." is all I say before I grab my bag and leave the restaurant with my dad and Harry.

"Sophia, what-", "I'm going to my dad's, John. Could you maybe get some of my and Harry's things from the penthouse and bring them to me, I won't be staying home for the next few days," I mumble and wipe the tears from my face convulsively.

My heart is literally bleeding and my chest is full of pain.

I just can't understand what suddenly got into him when he wanted to go on a romantic vacation with me an hour ago.

"Of course, I'll just drop things off for you later," says John and I thank him before I get into my father's van.

My dad himself is putting Harry in his seat, keeps glancing at me and I know what he's thinking.

"I'm fine Dad, let's just go home," I murmur, swallowing as Nate's voice comes from behind me.

"Sophia, I'm sorry, I don't know what happened to me," he says, grabbing my arm.

His touch burns my skin like acid, bringing tears to my eyes and my throat suddenly going dry.

"Don't touch me, Nate," I hiss, tearing myself out of his grasp.

"Honey, you know I can't sleep without you," he whispers, grabbing my hand.

"Let go of me, Nathaniel." I just say, trying not to lose my mind.

"How long will you be gone?", "I don't know." I mumble and finally manage to shake him off and immediately my father closes the door.

The dam of my feelings completely collapses and there is no turning back. Sobbing, faltering and totally in pain, I cry to myself, I can't get myself to stop.

Thank God my father doesn't speak to me and when I spot Carol in my father's kitchen I just manage to smile.

"I'm going to a hotel Dad, you guys must be wanting to be alone." I murmur, grabbing Harry's hand.

"You're joking, aren't you? Sophia, I won't leave you alone in this state." My father says sternly and Carol nods in confirmation.

Her blue eyes go so beautifully with the short brown hair and great figure. Even though she's a little older, she's clearly held up well.

"I'll get you a glass of wine and I'll put Harry to bed so you can get some rest, okay?" my father's new girlfriend offers me.

"I don't drink alcohol, Carol," I smile through tears, because even though I'm not feeling well right now, I'm happier than ever.

"She's pregnant." My father's proud voice sounds and joy just sparkles in his eyes.

"Oh my - congratulations, love!" Carol laughs, wrapping her arms around me.

"Then I'll make you tea and a fruit basket with any fruit you like. Do you have a wish, my beautiful?", "No thanks, Carol. You're so sweet, but I think it's best if Harry and I'll just get some sleep together." I say, lifting my tired son into my arms.

He hides his face in my throat and I hear him yawn softly as he sucks his thumb and plays with my hair.

Only its smell can calm me down so quickly and I enjoy this deep calm in my body.

"Shall I give you some of mine to sleep on?" she asks, stroking my son's back in a loving gesture.

"John will bring a bag of things over in a moment, but thanks." I just say and kiss her on the cheek before I go into my father's huge guest room.

Sighing, I lay Harry down on the mattress and start removing his shoes before removing his pants and sweater as well. He looks so damn cute wearing only pantyhose and a singlet and I could cry.

I can't get Nate's behavior out of my head and no matter how hard I try to forget it, it just doesn't work out.

The knock on the door wakes me from my half-sleep and I could swear what delights my eyes is an illusion.

Nathaniel's large body enters the room and even though it's already dark, I recognize every feature of his face.

"What are you doing here?" I ask sleepily, looking into his eyes.

"You don't belong here, Sophia. Come home with me." He sighs and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

I unintentionally snuggle into the touch, but then I remember the look on his face and the way he spoke to me.

I immediately break away from him, nervously playing with my wedding ring and meanwhile rubbing my stomach.

"You changed after you talked to her, Nate. Why?" I ask, looking at him, confused.

"She was also on the business trip to London and - something happened...", he whispers to me, not seeming to find the right words at all.

When it reaches me, I swallow hard, which seems almost impossible with this dry throat, and as I continue to deceive because this space seems to be so constricting, the tears flow down my cheeks.

The hope that this is all just a bad joke or a nightmare fades when I look into his eyes and see that very specific expression in them again. And finally I can assign him. That evil sparkle flashing in its green crystals is nothing but deep remorse.

Oh god, what's happening here?