Chapter 22
I came out of my daze and rushed towards the elevator. I kept punching the buttons, furiously. Since, it was taking forever to reach my floor, I decided to take the stairs and rushed out of the building. I noticed him, walking towards his car and just when he was about to get in, I ran and tugged on his sleeves which made him turn around. He had a straight face and I couldn't tell what the fuck was going on in his head.
It was so frustrating.
"This isn't fair, Austin. Just let me explain," I pleaded with my eyes, trying to catch my breath.
Damn, never thought I would be chasing after a man.
He pinched the bridge of his nose and looked like he was having a mental turmoil.
"Get in the car," he said harshly, making me flinch at his tone. I opened the door and sat in the backseat, glad that he wasn't shutting me out completely. He followed me behind, sitting right next to me in the backseat and that's when I noticed the driver in the front. Neither of us said a word and I realized that we were headed in the direction of his house.
"I need to be back at work," I mumbled while he gave me a glare, shutting me up. I quickly texted Liam to inform our boss that I was taking the rest of the day off and sighed, sinking back against the seat. Soon we reached his building and I trailed behind him silently. We rode up the elevator which was filled with the sounds of our breath.
I couldn't understand why he was so upset. He didn't even let me explain my side. It wasn't like I did anything wrong. I should have told him but we were totally distracted yesterday. He walked out of the elevator, breaking my chain of thoughts. I followed him behind and he kept walking, not bothering to check if I was following him. I was pissed off with the way he was acting, like I fucking cheated on him. He unlocked the door and held it wide open for me to enter. I walked inside and placed my bag on the couch, turning towards him slowly.
"Are you gonna let me explain?" I asked while he walked towards the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of whiskey from the refrigerator.
"What is there to explain? It's always the same shit," he scoffed and poured himself a drink.
"I had no idea that I was going to run into him, Austin. It was an honest coincidence," I started to tell while he gulped down his drink.
"Did you fuck him? For old times sake maybe," he spoke, his voice, seething with anger as he looked up from his glass, straight into my eyes. I held his stare with wide eyes as tears threatened to flow down my cheeks. How could he even think of it? I walked towards him and slapped him so hard that the sound resonated through the walls. He held his glass tightly as if to control his anger and I could see the veins, popping out of his neck. I was afraid he might break the glass and hurt his already bruised hand.
"Fuck you, Austin. You know what, I try so hard to understand you and I thought you were trying too...to make this work," I gestured between us, "but it's always one step forward and two steps backward with you. I don't even know what the fuck we are doing if you don't trust me," I wiped my tears and swallowed back the lump in my throat. I hated how my anger always turned into tears. He looked up at me with a pained expression on his face and tried to wipe my tears but I swatted his hands away, "Don't touch me, I hate you," I turned around to walk away from him but he pulled me closer by my waist, breathing into my hair.
"You don't hate me," he whispered, making me cry harder.
No, I didn't.
"I'm so sorry, please don't cry," he croaked out and I pushed him away from me so that he wouldn't seduce his way out of this, " I told you I'm not good at this, Emma. Fuck, you deserve someone so much better than me," he ran his hands through his hair and leaned against the refrigerator, falling to the floor. I stood next to him, baffled by his response, not knowing what to say.
I deserved better? But I wanted only him.
I noticed his knuckles, turning purplish-blue due to the bruises and immediately opened the freezer, pulling out an ice pack. I removed my heels and sat down next to him while his gaze fell on my bare thighs as my skirt rode up but he quickly diverted his eyes.
"Do you trust me?" I asked quietly as I took his hand and placed the pack on his bruise. He winced a bit but relaxed immediately.
"Why didn't you tell me yesterday?" he sighed and closed his eyes.
"It slipped my mind, jerk. I was so excited to see you and then we were doing other stuff. You went out to get dinner and I was exhausted, these kinds of things happen, Austin. You got to trust me. This doesn't work if we don't trust each other," I stated, hoping he would understand. He remained silent for a long time before speaking.
"I might need that ice pack for my face," he muttered, "As much as I love it when you are feisty, this shit hurts." he rubbed his cheek and I tried so hard to hide my smile.
"You deserved it," I glared at him, trying to maintain a straight face.
"I did," he flicked his eyes to met my gaze and I noticed his Adam's apple bob up and down, "I trust you, Emma. I always have," he uttered, taking me by surprise.
"Then why did you say such a thing?" I choked out, feeling a mixture of emotions.
"I was angry, baby. I'm very possessive when it comes to you and I was scared that you might leave me for him," he admitted, truthfully, making me stare at him with an unbelievable look in my eyes.
"How-- How could you even think like that? He cheated on me for God sake and I don't want anyone else. I want you and only you," I caressed his face, making him close his eyes at my touch. He removed the ice pack and pushed a strand of hair, away from my eyes, tracing my cheek with the back of his bruised hand. I found myself melting against his soft touch and let out a shaky breath.
"My mom.... she left me and my dad when I was seven years old," he started and I held my breath. He was about to tell me something but it didn't feel right.
"Austin, you don't have to tell me. Not until you are ready," I held his hand that was tracing my cheek but he pulled me closer, making me sit on his lap in one swift moment.
"I want to. I trust you enough to tell you something that I haven't told anyone," I felt my heart racing and gripped his suit tightly.
"We were a perfect small family. I used to think my mom and dad were made for each other. They seemed so happy in front of me. Then one day, all of a sudden, she was gone. She left me and my dad for another man. I loved her so much, Emma and I never thought she would leave us just like that. I had to hear it from my dad who was devastated. He was a living example of what love could do to a person," he hugged me tighter and buried his face in the crook of my neck, "I--I haven't heard from her since then. I still can't understand how someone can throw their child out of their life just like that. From that, I never got close to anyone and was never into dating and stuff because I knew eventually things would get fucked up in the end," his voice broke and I could feel the sadness radiating from it, "I was already a closed off kid with anger issues and with my mom leaving me, it became worse. I kept waiting for her, hoping she would atleast try to contact me but I realized it later that she was gone for good and didn't love me as much as I did," I felt something wet on my neck.
He was crying.
He broke down and I couldn't control my own tears. I pulled him back and wiped his tears as my heart broke at the sight of him. Fuck, everything makes sense now. I understood how hurt he must have been at that small age and how much it impacted him all his life. I wiped my own tears and hugged him tightly, hoping it would take away his pain.
"I wish I had a better sob story but this is me, sad and complicated me, with attachment and commitment issues," he joked to lighten the mood as he held my face. I chuckle a bit and kissed his forehead, running my hands through his hair.
"Thank you for telling me, I know how hard it is for you to open up. I get it and it's okay. It's okay to feel this way, it only makes you human." I rested my forehead against his and breathed heavily.
"Dan betraying me was even more painful but I had you. You---You made me calm and it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. That's when I realized that I wanted more with you. It wasn't just sex anymore." he shook his head, making me pull back from his forehead, "I don't want to lose you, sweetheart," he said in a raspy voice and I looked into his eyes, wanting to tell him how much I loved him.
"I won't leave you, Austin because I lo---" We were interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing. He cursed under his breath, pulling the phone out of his pocket and scrunched his eyebrows, seeing the caller ID.
"One second, babe." He picked it up immediately and I could see his eyes going wide in shock.
"Oh crap, we are on our way." He was about to cut the call.
On our way? No, I was about to tell him that I loved him.
"Uhh...Me and Emma," I looked at him with raised eyebrows as I couldn't hear the other side of the conversation. He cut the call and looked at me with a huge smile on his face.
"It was Jake... Ashley has gone into labour,"












