CHAPTER 20

He changed

As I said, I don't want to force a thing to happen. I'll just go with the flow. But why now I want to control the things that I don't want to happen? Can I really stand by what I said to stop planning the things I want to happen and just go with the flow? What if I don't want something to happen and I want to control it so it won't happen?

I wetted and bit my lower lip problematically while I was heading to one of the patient's rooms. Even though I'm at work, I still can't get my son's request out of my mind. Does he really want to meet his real father? He didn't mention the person he wanted to meet. But he's referring to him. So it's a man right? It's possible that my son wants to meet his real father.

I didn't realize that I had opened the door and was immediately greeted by the scream of a girl.

“Nurse Angel!” she screamed excitedly making my eyes widen in horror.

It's already 11pm and I saw her Mom peacefully sleeping on the sofa. I put my point finger on my lips to stop her from making a noise. I know that her mother is tired. I quickly approached the smiling girl as she sat on the hospital bed.

"Why are you still up hmm? Didn't I tell you to go to bed early so that you can recover quickly."

I sat down on the bed while my hands flew to her hair to brush it softly.

"Nurse, I just came from sleep. I just woke up. I didn't sleep because I was hoping that you would visit me." Angela whispered softly. I could clearly see the joy in her eyes.

"Are you excited to get out of here? I'm sure you miss playing and studying.” I asked her while smiling.

"Super yes, Nurse Angel. I'll miss you when I get out of here." she said with her lively voice but it turns sad after.

Angela is one of the kids I adore the most. I am very impressed with this cute little girl. She's still seven but I can see how brave she is. She was confined to the hospital because he had a dengue. I still remember how her Mama cried when her condition became serious. Having a dengue is not a joke. It is possible that it can take the life of the child.

But I saw how Angela fought. I don't see her being fear at all. She's that strong. In almost a month that she was here, my heart got closer to her. Every eleven o'clock at night I visit her here even when she's asleep. I don't know but I've been attached to her.

It was like I had a friend to talk to again. They have the same vibe with Devillia. Maybe that's why I feel close to her even though she's still very young. She's the type of kid you want to be friends with. Or maybe I'm just amazed because she has so much strength and courage at her age. She's been through a lot. Together with her family. So I can say that Angela is brave. Because she would just smiled at all the trials she's facing as if they were nothing and that they will shall pass.

"I'll surely miss you too." I whispered while caressing her cheeks.

"Thank you, Nurse Angel. You are one of the reasons why I want to fight and get well. Thank you for taking care of me. I will not forget you. You are the best Nurse for me."

Someone just caressed my heart at her words. I want to cry because I know she will go home tomorrow. She can't stay here. The world outside is waiting for her. I am happy because she's slowly getting better.

"Can you hug me one last time?" I asked as I spread my arms wide. Her cute giggles made me smile.

She immediately went to me and hugged me tightly. I stroked her hair trying not to cry.

"From now on, always take care of yourself, huh? As much as possible, don't let yourself go back to this hospital. Always take care of yourself outside. The world is too cruel for someone as soft as you. And I hope you'll still be brave no matter what circumstances you may face. And lastly. . . don't forget me.” I whispered while smiling.

"I won't. I will always remember you." Angela whispered with her soft little voice. I smiled.

I put her to sleep again. Last caress on her cheek before I straightened up. You'll grow as an amazing kid Angela. I looked at her mom who was still sleeping. Didn't even wake up from our noise earlier. You're such a great Mom for raising such an amazing kid like Angela.

I slowly closed the door silently. I caressed my chest as I felt my heart clenching. Pictures of my Mom flash inside my head. Her demeanor and her smile suddenly made me worry. I suddenly miss her. I missed her and Dad.

I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down. If I'm just brave enough to come back. I will. Right now I don't have the courage to go back as if it was that easy.

It was very easy for me to make the decision to leave. And leave my family to fend for myself. I left to learn something. But it's not easy for me to decide to come back as if nothing happened. As if I had nothing left before. I'm sure Mom is so mad at me. And I understand if she'll not welcome me with open arms if I'll come back.

But do I really have the plans to return in my home? Or should I just stay here? I am happy with my son. Our life is peaceful and away from trouble.

I was brought back to reality when I heard a noise from outside. I was carrying my bag because I was about to leave when I saw Nurse Jean panting. She's walking faster towards my direction.

"What's happening?" I asked

"Nurse Angel, we need your help. It's time for your out? There were three police officers who were injured and another drug addict who was also injured because of the raid. We need your help.” she said quickly.

There's a drug raid happened? Are the police raids on drug addicts too bad now to cause more injuries? Maybe the addicts fought back.

"Sure. Where are the policemen who were wounded?” I asked her

"Come, follow me."

I followed Nurse Jean without hesitation. I really want to go home to rest because I have to wake up early for my son, but maybe it's not bad if I help, right? This is what a nurse should do to help patients who need help.

I calmly followed Nurse Jean. I realized she was heading towards the entrance of the hospital. I saw some bloodied men in the distance with handcuffs on their backs.

Why do they use drugs? To forget the problem? We have different kinds of coping mechanism when it comes to our problems. But isn't it too bad if one of your options is using drugs. Doing drugs can't help you solve your too many shits of a problem. It will only worsen your problems. And it can destroy you.

Suddenly the hair on my neck stood up when I felt that someone was staring at me boldly. . . and it feels so weird. I looked around at the bloody men. Why do I feel like someone is staring at me like he wanted to stab me right now? I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that no addicts were staring at me. I saw them being treated. I tilted my head in the direction of those policemen.

It was like my soul left my body when my honey eyes fixed on those cold gray eyes. My legs turned jelly as he stared at me coldly. What the fuck? Is he for real? I blinked a few times to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. Maybe I'm just tired? Maybe I'm just tired so I'm seeing the person I hurt before?

"Nurse Angel, come here. Can you treat Chief?” Nurse Jean grabbed my attention.

I still couldn't move from where I was standing while staring at the man who didn't even blink and shamelessly looked at me. His bold and angry stares make my knees wobble. How did he come here? I saw his left hand holding his right arm. And I could clearly see the blood from it because he was only wearing a white T-shirt that was very close to his body.

So... he was one of the policemen who were injured because of the raid? It's obvious Angel! why would he have a wound if he is not with him, right?

I wanted to run. I wanted to hide. I wanted to vanish instantly. I want to back out. But if I run now, it's like I'm showing him that I'm a coward. Am I guilty? Am I guilty because I hurt him? so now that he was in front of me I couldn't even be brave. Is there that Angel who is very confident in everything? There's that hurtful Angel. Did she die together with her best friend?

Did she bury her bitchy attitude a long time ago? Did Angel Kate Francisco become a softie? Did she change? Yes she did.

Even if I'm so nervous right now. I've tried to wear my mask. To hide my nervousness. To hide my real feelings. I smiled at Nurse Jean and forced myself to walk over to where Keegan was sitting like a lion king. He's like he's been waiting for a little mouse for him to eat it alive.

I avoided his blazing stares because I can't handle it. I closed my mouth and tried to swallow even though something was blocking my throat.

I saw how he dominantly sat on the chair like a king of the forest. His legs parted widely. My eyes landed on his bloody arm. I took a deep breath because his wound seemed to be bleeding but I didn't even see any reaction on his face. As if he is used to this. That he is used to being hurt. . . and it is not new to him.

"Uh... Sir, may I see your wound p-please..." I cleared my throat when I stuttered. Angel calm down... Be professional. This is your work. Yes, it's just work.

I heard him scoff aggressively making me look at him. My forehead creased when he looked at me coldly with no emotions written on his gray orbs. All I can say is that..he changed... All of him changed.

He removed his left hand that was covering his bloody arm. His white T-shirt was almost close to his body, causing me to swallow. Angel calm down... This is not the old Keegan you used to know. You don't know this new him. Yes, I don't know him. Because the man infront of me is so different from the Keegan I used to know.

Using my shaking hands I touched his arms making him flinch a bit. My heart is beating wildly against my rib cage. Every time my skin touched his skin it was like I was committing a great sin. Wanting to suddenly disappear like a bubble, I quickly treated his wound. His wound was not too deep so I didn't have any trouble. There was just so much blood that his clothes filled his shoulders with blood.

I could feel his piercing stare as I treated him. I didn't spare him a glance because I was afraid. I just want to be eaten by the ground right now. I feel like I have nothing to present to him. Because I feel that he doesn't even speak. He is completely different. I don't know him anymore. I think I only know him by his name. If I didn't know his gray eyes, maybe I wouldn't recognize him.

I couldn't catch the old Keegan I knew. From his ruthless face down to his well-toned body. I can't really figure it out if he's true or I'm just dreaming. Maybe I'm just hallucinating? But his eyes. . . I know his eyes. I know it too damn well. His innocent grey eyes are the part of his body I love the most. Even his innocent eyes have changed. Everything about him changed.

My body felt cold as I waited for the tricycle. My brain is still flying inside the hospital. There's so many questions running inside my head right now. How is he here? Did he find me? Maybe he knows that I work in that very hospital. because I can't think of any other reason for our paths to cross.

I chuckled without humor at my nonsense ideas. Why would he look for the person who hurt him? Why would he want to see the person who crushed him? Wake up Angel! you're not a character in a damn book to assume things! Maybe it's just a coincidence. He doesn't want to see you! Did you see his eyes earlier? How does he look at you? Very angry and like you're about to be eaten if there are no other people around you.

I held my chest as I jumped shockingly when a black luxurious car pulled in front of me. It was like my soul left my body again because of the nervousness.

My brows knitted in confusion but it didn't last long when the window of the passenger seat slowly opened. I feel like I just want to disappear at this time when I see who is sitting in the driver's seat.

Alister Keegan Costaguero is so freaking hot while wearing a white shirt with a hint of blood earlier. but Alister Keegan Costaguero wearing a black shirt that hugged his body perfectly can take your breath away. Using his emotionless gray orbs he looked at me intently.

He then tilted his head as he motioned me to get inside his car without speaking. He didn't even open his mouth to speak but I can understand what his actions meant. I bit my bottom lip and quickly shook my head. I can't even grasp any courage to speak.

I saw how his lips lifted for a mocking smirk.

"You want me to carry you?" the hair on my nape stood up when I heard his deep taunting voice.

I was horrified by the sarcastic smile he was giving. Oh my gosh! He's not really Keegan!

"Don't make me count Francisco. Just get inside. I want to sleep.” He said like a damn boss that I should follow.

My head get heated because of what he said. Why is he talking to me like this? As if I didn't do anything bad to him before? Why is he being casual to me? Like it's just so normal for him to talk to me this way. Did he move on? Of course Angel... Your question is stupid. What do you expect? That he will stay the same? That he will stuck himself in the past and not move on? Is that what you're thinking he'll do for all these years?

That's not how the world works. If you feel like you're still in that part of your life and you haven't gotten out of it yet. Don't think that he will do the same.

Even if it's against my heart. I still entered his car. When he saw that I was sitting properly, he immediately started the car. I can smell his manly perfume from here. His car smells so manly. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I felt how my heart reacted so violently.

Why does it seem so normal for him to be with the girl who played with his feelings? Why can he act so normal?! While I was about to pass out at any moment.

"Address of your house," he asked in a deep lazy voice making me close my eyes.

I immediately told him the address where I live. I thank God when the ride didn't take that long. My house is also close to the hospital. when his car stopped in front of Guardian's little house, with shaking hands I quickly unbuckled the seat belt and nervously looked at Keegan.

"Thank you for the ride." I uttered without stuttering.

His right brow flicked upward when he heard me say thank you. He then chuckled making me feel offended. Why is he laughing?

"It's not a free ride, Nurse Francisco. Nothing is free now.” he stated while smirking at me

Oh... Realization hits me. Angel?! What do you think? that he gave you a ride for free? Wake up damn it!

"Oh, sorry my fault." I laughed awkwardly and quickly looked for the wallet in my bag to pay him. I don't want to fight with him even though I am very annoyed with the actions he's showing. But for now I have to swallow my pride.

I hadn't even found my wallet when I heard the door slam. My jaw dropped when I saw him get out of the car. I closed my eyes tightly. He's getting on my nerves. I just got out of the car with money in my hand. I really wanted to get angry and yell at him but I just couldn't!

I don't have the courage to do it!

I stopped on the verge of giving him money when I saw him looking at the small house where I live. I saw how he tilted his head to check my house. He licked his lower lip as he stared at my house amusingly. Like he's watching a joke in front of him.

The way he looked at my house I can see him judging it. He finds it so amusing. maybe he can't believe that I live in that small house? For me and my son that is big. I can't compare it to the old house I had that I left behind. Because they are different.

This is my home now. Me and Guardian found comfort in our small house. we made so many memories inside of it.

I presented one hundred reasons in front of him to grab his attention. His brows furrowed while looking at the money.

"What's that?" He asked with a bit of anger in his voice.

I blinked and looked at him unbelievably. didn't he say nothing is free now? So here, I will pay.

"You said there is nothing free these days. So I will pay.” I said with my controlled voice. Just a touch really makes me feel like I'm going to explode.

He put a smug look on his face and rolled his eyes making my jaw drop! what the— Did he just roll his eyes in a freaking manly way?!

"I want you to pay by letting me sleep in your house. I'm tired and my wound still hurts a little bit. I can't drive for long.” he muttered huskily making my lips parted. What?! He wants to sleep in our house?!

We only have one room! And it's small just enough for Guardian and me. Where will he sleep? On our little sofa?

I bit my lowerlip and avoided his gaze "There is only one room inside."

"I can sleep on the sofa. It's not a big deal to me.”

"Our sofa is small," I insisted and looked at him from head to toe. His body built changes a lot! He won't fit on the sofa!

"You won't fit on the sofa," I said earning a laugh from him.

"Don't worry I'll find a way to fit in." he said smiling

I took a deep breath. I don't have a choice but to let him into the house. Before I was still proud that I live here, but I suddenly felt small of myself when we got inside. If he was too thin back then, now my house is too small for him. He grew tall and his body built too. He doesn't seem to fit in this place.

I put my bag on the small table. I played with my fingers nervously when I saw how Keegan roamed his eyes around our small house.

He cleared his throat when his eyes fixed on the frames inside the cabinet. He clicked his tounge as his curious gaze from the frames went to me.

"Who's the lucky stupid boy fooled you again?"

My eyes widened as my jaw dropped at his spicy question. it was like my heart was pierced by so many needles at his question. My tears started forming in the corner of my eyes... ready to fall anytime soon.

Why do his words sting so badly? It's just words but it cut my heart so deep. I can't even move an inch to react.

"Did you get pregnant and then leave him again?" he trailed off with his deep mocking voice making my eyes widen in horror!

I gasped at his question! I can't afford to blink my eyes while staring at his side profile. A lone tear escaped my eyes that I immediately wiped it away. is that how he thinks of me? I don't blame him because I hurt him. But why does it hurt so bad?

"Never mind." he chuckled dismissively and tilted his head to look at me "Can you at least give me a blanket or a pillow?" he ordered while looking at me intensely

Yeah right This is where he will sleep. My eyes flew to the small sofa and someone crumpled my heart when I saw how small it is for him.

I nodded my head and walked towards my small room. After I locked the door I held my chest instantly. Because even if I want to deny it. I'm hurting right now. I can see how he's mocking me. I can see how he hates me.

I wiped away the rebellious tears that fell from my eyes.

I immediately went out with a blanket and a pillow. I stopped from where I was standing when I saw Keegan sitting on the sofa while his head was leaning on the backrest.

I saw how he closed his eyes tightly from this and how he wiped the tears from his eyes. Is he crying? But why would he cry? I heard his exhausted chuckles as he cursed himself.

I sighed and decided to walk towards him. He must have felt me ​​coming so he went up to look at me. I couldn't look at him because I was scared. I'm afraid he'll know that I'm hurting now.

“Here. This is the only spare blanket and pillow that we have.”

I jumped when our two skins suddenly touched when he took the blanket and pillow from my hand. I sneered and looked away.

"Uh... Are you sure you're okay here?" I don't want to sound that I'm worried but it came out of my mouth that I am.

He nodded without saying anything.

"I'm fine here. You should go to sleep now. Thank you.”

I was surprised to hear him saying thank you to me. Our eyes quickly met causing me to swallow. One thank you from his mouth makes my heart jump! I wanted to smile but I didn't. He said thank you to me!

He was the first to look away and bit his bottom lip.

"You're welcome."

I stopped smiling and immediately entered my room. I quickly lay down on the bed and immediately hugged my son who was fast asleep. I buried my face on the side of his neck trying to hide my burning face. I don't know why but a simple thank you from him makes my heart flutter.

The smile on my lips cannot be erased while caressing my son's cheek and hair. I know I'm living fine within these years. but just now I felt again how to get excited like this. How can my blood live with just a simple thank you. How my heart beat while he looked at me intently.

His eyes are not the same innocent eyes I love. His eyes turned cold and merciless now. but in spite of it. I still love his gray eyes. I guess it won't change. I'll adore his eyes forever.

"Son... Mimi's heart is thumping violently right now. Remember the man I always told you? With those big round glasses? He changed. He's not the same anymore... and I think he hates me to the core right now. I still can't believe that we will meet again. I felt like my blood felt alive again.”

I whispered to my son while smiling. That smile that just can't be erased from my lips. I kissed my son's cheeks and held him tightly, securing him in my vulnerable arms. Why didn't he ask about Guardian? He could clearly see Guardian's pictures in the frames but he didn't ask. Why is it? Maybe it's the result of fatigue. I quickly fell asleep.