67

~Amy~

The next morning I was rudely thrown out of bed by Kaiya. I was soaking wet and lay on the equally wet floor. She had wanted to wake me up with water before? And I didn't notice anything? "If this continues, I forbid you to sleep at all." she grumbled and left the room.

My eyes immediately filled with tears again. Why was she so mean to me? I didn't do anything to her? Am I annoying everyone? Tired, I pushed myself up and got into the shower in my pajamas. Before I could even notice, the water was already on and my pajamas, which were already wet anyway, were really wet. Mason would have laughed at me for sure.. And I would have laughed with him. Even if this situation had never happened before, I knew how he would have reacted. I could imagine his every move. I pictured her in front of me. As if he were really here. He probably wouldn't have liked it here that much. He's more of the open type and he likes having his own house. The pack house just wouldn't be his. It was like I already knew everything about him without really knowing him. For example, I knew that he always ordered pizza funghi without tomato sauce from Italian restaurants. Even if I had neither talked to him about it nor experienced it myself. Damn why was I even thinking about him? He sent me away after all.

When I got out of the shower I didn't even bother to comb my hair. I just left them like that and changed into sweatpants and a big t-shirt. I didn't care what people thought of me. Everyone could think what they wanted of me. Only one opinion was important to me. Mason's.

I stopped just before the kitchen. My dark circles, which I got rid of 2 days ago, could no longer be overlooked. I heard everyone in the kitchen laughing and cursed myself for being so broken I couldn't even laugh that heartily without fooling the others. I was a burden A huge burden for everyone. Nevertheless, I had promised Peter to stay here or to return. Thanks to Mason, going back was no longer an option. I entered the kitchen with my head bowed and the mood changed drastically.

"I eat in my room. Otherwise I spoil your mood." I said and took my muesli with me. "That's not true, stay." said Josh. But I just smiled and shook my head. It was a sincere smile on my part. One that you rarely see anymore and I certainly wouldn't give to anyone anymore. Except Faye and Mason. Josh smiled back. Just like his words earlier, this gesture was sincere. He meant every single word seriously. That smile, too, was neither pitiful nor false. It was just as honest and sincere as mine. Only his was even brighter. My smile had lost its sparkle. His, however, was bolstered by Kaiya, his pack, and my smile.

I immediately turned to the door and ran upstairs. Josh knew I'd rather leave her alone. That was precisely the quality that not every Alpha possessed. Josh, however, possessed them. Alphas with this trait were always good alphas, but not every good alpha had this trait. The ability to blend in with others and to understand them without words. It seemed to me that Mason didn't have them. However, he was different in my presence. He'd always acted like he knew exactly what was going on in my head. At least halfway.

My head was pounding from thinking. My eyes burned from the bright display of my cell phone. My lips were dry and greyish. In general, I neglected my health. I no longer ate or drank much and really only as much as necessary.

In the afternoon Kaiya talked me into fighting. We transformed and I had to say that I had a good fighting spirit.

As good as all the time I win. Only once, Kaiya won. I felt an ache in my heart. It quickly spread to my body. Kaiya took advantage of that moment and overpowered me. Realizing something was wrong, she quickly transformed back and frantically called for Josh.

"What about her?" Kaiya sobbed. My wolf head was on her lap and she reassured me. The doctor rather less. Josh had placed his large hands on Kaiya's shoulders and was massaging them. He too looked worried. No wonder. I didn't react to anything or anyone. I was now completely broken. My heart was brutally ripped out and then it was kicked all over. It hurt. But it hurt even more to hear it through the doctor's mouth.

"Your mate. He kissed someone. And it wasn't the first time. The previous times Amy seemed to have suppressed it," he murmured, pulling away. Josh got angry. Very very angry. "How dare he? Why is he doing that?" he whispered to himself and left Kaiya and me alone. Kaiya lovingly scratched my fur. I enjoyed it. My body was no longer able to generate the energy to transform. Kaiya knew that too. Now I didn't really live with them anymore. I would stay like this until my body gave up completely. Now I really was that burden that only worried them. I didn't want to be.

"Why is Mason doing this? What's in it for him?" asked Kaiya. She was talking more to herself than to me, which is why I didn't answer her. I didn't even have an answer to the question myself. I didn't have any on the first anyway, but on the second. Because I was relatively sure that he felt the same way, maybe not that bad, but still bad. So the answer was that he had none of it. Nothing at all. Maybe he wanted to distract himself, but basically he didn't benefit from it.

In the evening I lay on my bed. Kaiya had my stuff packed downstairs so I didn't have to go up the stairs in my wolf form. I was able to transform my right hand and texted Faye briefly. It sapped my strength.

I guess Mason was in pretty bad shape and unlike me he was getting cranky and aggressive. I got tired and calm. I wrote her briefly that I now only ran through her area as a wolf, but not why. That would be too many unnecessary questions. I probably wouldn't be able to answer her anyway. So I limited my brief answer to the essentials and went to sleep.