Immense remorse
Virginia
When I was returning from there, arriving at the end of the corridor, very close to the stairs leading to the lower floor, I met Lavinia, who gave me a strange look, and I guessed that this would be the second battle of the night.
" I need to talk to you, " she declared.
I thought about saying "Sit tight, you'll get tired standing up," but that was just my inner voice speaking, and she was too rebellious to understand that things didn't work out that way.
"You can talk, I'm all ears.”
I had no patience whatsoever for whatever that stuck-up actress had to say to me, but I tried to use some of the wisdom that had been lacking in me recently.
" Can we go to your room? Or mine? " she suggested.
"You can say it right here. I could never trust to be in the same room with you, alone.”
She looked at me as if that phrase had hit her, and I almost regretted being so rude. Almost.
" I'm pregnant " she suddenly let out, leaving me completely confused by the information.
" Honey, excuse me for being insensitive, but what does this have to do with me? I am sure that the father is not me " I said, raising my hands in the air with little concern.
"I don't know who the father is, Virginia.”
She seemed very shaken by this confession and as much as I shouldn't sympathize with her situation, I've never been a bad person, and I've always had empathy to spare.
" I... I don't even know what to say " I said moving, taking another step closer "Is there a chance it could be Aquiles'?”
"I'm sorry to tell you this, Virginia, but the two men who could be the father of the child I'm expecting are Aquiles and... Murilo.”
I covered my mouth with my hand, such was the horror I felt at the mere possibility that Murilo might be the father of the child Lavinia was expecting.
I don't know if I could take it well, to accept that he would need to support and be by the side of another woman, especially when I was also pregnant with him.
How crazy!
"When did you find out?”
" I had suspected it for days, but today, before we came, I went to a clinic and had a blood test, " she said, and her eyes filled with tears. "I told Aquiles before the party, but he didn't take this news very well.”
She burst into convulsive tears, and I was sure she wasn't faking it. It was a painful cry, and even my own eyes were teary, seeing how she was suffering at that moment.
Before I could even think about it, I was already hugging her, trying to console her copious tears.
"What did he tell you, Lavinia?”
"He asked for some time. He said that I was only with him to be close to Murilo and that he would not stay with me until he knew whose baby it was.”
Even before she told me, I had already deduced that he could only have been very rude to her, to have left her in that sorry state, but Aquiles was very harsh, even more so at a time like this when Lavinia needed so much support.
The situation reminded me of my parents, and the way they abandoned me alone and pregnant, and I wasn't referring to financial issues because I was able to support myself.
What hurt was the lack of support from the one I loved the most, and if it wasn't for Murilo, I would be facing a very complicated situation.
"You should not let his words leave you in this state, Lavinia. There is someone else for you to take care of now.”
I let her cry, and after a few minutes, she moved away a little, just enough to look at me, and her gaze was honest.
" When I was in that hallway with Murilo, and you showed up, he went crazy. He ran after you, Virginia " she said, tears still falling, but to a lesser extent "And I was jealous, to have a man who was madly in love with you. And when I took him to your store, believing that he would despise you because you weren't as well off as he was, the only one despised was me.”
I knew that pity was a horrible feeling, but that's what I felt at that moment because it was quite clear that Lavinia was a truly needy woman.
Lavínia
When my cycle was late a few days ago, I thought it was the stress of recording the last chapters of the soap opera I was starring in, and I didn't worry a bit.
The night before, during a dinner with my father, who was also an actor, after the recording of some scenes in which we were acting together, I simply could not eat my favorite dish, a shrimp risotto, leaving it completely untouched because of getting sick just from the smell of the food.
After this, I decided to get a pregnancy test as soon as possible, and since I was sure that I would not be able to wait until this morning, I bought and took a pharmacy test yesterday.
It didn't do any good because I didn't believe in that positive result at all, considering how it was going to affect my life, I wouldn't even know where to start thinking, it was somewhat understandable that I needed to be more certain about the fact.
So today, I woke up early and went to the laboratory of the clinic in which I always sought care because it is very discreet about its patients, and there I took a blood test.
POSITIVE
That word seemed to be flashing neon in front of me until now because I couldn't forget that result.
Still, I came to Guarujá with my boyfriend and as soon as we had some time alone, I tried to tell Aquiles the truth.
I felt so helpless, as I had never felt before, and I needed the support of the man who had already tried to show me in many ways that he loved me and that I only now realized and didn't know how to appreciate. The truth is that I was so focused on something that I believed I had lost, that I didn't realize what I had gained.
