Chapter 45 Trauma

<Mia>

His hold on me was gentle. I knew that this man wouldn't hurt me; I was certain of that. I was the one who could hurt him.

"Don't cry, please," he pleaded with me. I could feel that he was struggling and hurting seeing me like this.

"I wouldn't let him take you away from me," he assured me and kissed my forehead.

He kept repeating words of assurance and comfort to me.

"Please, stop crying."

He cupped my face, and his thumb wiped away my tears. He looked at me intently, and his face showed concern.

"I don't like seeing you cry," he said softly as if his eyes were pleading with me.

I hugged him tightly again, and he let me cry on his shoulder while he wiped my tears with his clothes. I accidentally wiped some of my mucus on his clothes, but he didn't seem to notice; I felt embarrassed. I might have wiped a large green booger on his clothes.

"Please, stop crying," he continued to caress my back. "They will pay for what they did to you," he assured.

"Please calm down, wife. I'll give you everything you want, even if I can't, I'll do my best to give it to you."

I hugged him even tighter.

He released himself from my hug and lifted me. He sat on the sofa and placed me on his lap.

"God! Please, stop crying."

He didn't know how to console me anymore.

"I love you. Please, stop crying... hush now, baby," he said gently while caressing my back.

I buried my face in his neck and hugged him tightly from there. If I weren't crying, I'd probably choke him.

"Where do you want to go tomorrow, hmm? We will do whatever you want. I'll tell my secretary that I'll take a leave in the meantime," he said gently.

"Please, stop crying," his voice was tender, and the softness in his voice was making my knees weak.

"I promise I won't leave you. Please, calm down..."

He lifted my face and wiped my tears. He lovingly gazed into my eyes.

"Please calm down," he pleaded.

I nodded, wiping my snot again. He used his white clothes to wipe it away. He was treating me like a baby. What more if we have a baby? He wants to have a baby.

"I can't breathe," I told him.

We were lying in our bedroom, and I felt suffocated.

He got up even though he was sleepy and leaned against the headboard of the bed. He couldn't sleep because of me. It's as if I would disappear, and he's worried about me.

I tried to sleep, but I still felt trapped in my dark room.

He turned on the light in our bedroom.

"I feel like I can't breathe," I told him again.

"Relax your mind."

I tried, but fear still overwhelmed me.

"Open the door," I instructed him to unlock it. I wanted it open so that we wouldn't be locked inside in case something happens.

"Did you lock the gate properly? Why did you remove the guards? What if someone breaks in?" I asked him frantically.

"Wife, calm down. You're panicking," he tried to calm me.

"My chest feels tight," I said, tears were about to fall.

He remained calm.

"Relax your body and mind," he advised me, and he hugged me.

"Do you want to come with me? I'll get you some water," he gently asked.

I nodded at him, making a bebe face. I decided to use baby talk on him, just for fun.

He supported my back as we walked to the kitchen. We were silent until I drank some water.

"Don't think too much and relax," he said after I finished drinking. He took the glass and drank the remaining water.

"Let's sleep in the living room, I feel like I can't breathe in the bedroom," I said playfully.

He immediately agreed.

"I'll just get us some pillows and a bedsheet."

He was easy to talk to.

I accompanied him to the bedroom to get what we needed.

"Sleep now, I'll watch over you," he said hoarsely. He lay on his side, looking at me while resting his head on his arm.

We ended up on the sofa, and I didn't know how we fit there given his large frame and height.

I was about to say something, but I stopped myself.

"I won't leave. When you wake up, I'll still be beside you." He adjusted the blanket covering me.

"Sleep," he instructed, and I obeyed. I closed my eyes and felt him kiss my forehead.

Time seemed to slow down for us. When I woke up, he hadn't left my side. I caught him staring at me while I was asleep.

"Good morning," he said hoarsely and kissed my forehead.

I was still feeling drowsy.

He still looked awake, and he seemed like he hadn't slept. Did he stay up all night?

I moved a bit away from him when I realized that I was hugging him tightly, and our bodies were pressed against each other. My foot was also resting on his.

"Do you know, madam, that when you were missing for a few days, sir couldn't sleep?" Rose said without me even asking.

We were about to leave with Ethan, and they were packing my things. He was extremely worried about me yesterday, so we went out to calm him down. I couldn't stay still while we were still at the house.

He was supposed to leave, but I stopped him. I was afraid and paranoid that Pops might come here while he was away and take me.

"He was worried and searched everywhere for you. He was very sad on your 4th anniversary. He was all alone," Rose sadly told me while arranging the things we needed to bring.

This woman was so talkative; she never ran out of things to say. While Ethan was there, I kept watch, just in case Pops suddenly appeared. At least, he would be the first to face Pops.

"What did he do on our wedding anniversary?" I curiously asked them. Pina was also present and remained silent. This woman is so quiet; she might have some scandal.

"Well, he drank and cried."

"Huh?"

"Yes, madam, he cried. He thought you had left him. He was miserable during the days you were gone. So, madam, don't leave him unless you want him to end up in a mental hospital. He's like a crazy person; he talks to your pictures."

She zipped the other luggage once she finished packing.

"Bring my make-up too," I told Pina. I would try to learn how to do make-up; maybe it would transform me.

"Sir loves you! Also, madam, don't tell him I told you he cried, okay? I saw him crying one early morning. I thought there was a ghost in the house."

He cried in front of me if only she knew. He hugged me so tightly when he saw me.

"Don't leave him," she threatened.

Who is she to tell me that? Is she Ethan's mother? She acts like she's his mother. Tsk!

I just rolled my eyes and didn't respond. My words have a price, and she can't afford them.

"Madam, do you have anything else to bring? So I can put them in one suitcase. I'll load it into the car now," Pina asked.

I looked at the five suitcases, all containing my belongings. That should be enough to bring.

"Don't forget the bag you recently bought for me," I reminded her as I followed her out of the room.

"I'll repeat the DNA test that I conducted. There might be a mistake," Ethan said. I could hear him even from a distance.

As I got closer, I saw him talking on his cell phone. He was already dressed in light gray trousers, a plain white t-shirt, and slip-on shoes. He had a strong appeal in his outfit.

"Give me a week, more or less. I'll do it when I get home," he continued speaking on the phone.

He noticed me and glanced at me.

"I'm going on vacation with my wife," he casually mentioned.

His gaze remained on me until I approached him. He put his arm around my waist and quickly kissed my lips.

"Yeah, double the amount if you want to know the result immediately."

He spoke a bit more on the phone before ending the call.

"Are you all set?" he asked me.

I nodded, intertwining my hands around his neck.

"You brought lots of luggage," he commented, seeing two people struggling to carry my five large suitcases.

"We won't be staying there for a month, wife," he said seriously.

My suitcases were all in pink, while he was only one, in silver.

"That's not much," I reasoned.

"Girls' thing."

He said something else, but I couldn't hear it as I was still deaf, and I hadn't cleaned my ears yet.

"Let's go," he said, taking my hand.

He had been ready for a while, and I was the one he was waiting for. This sudden trip was his idea because he wanted me to relax. He was genuinely worried about me because I panicked and became paranoid. I thought to myself that I might be going crazy.

"Let's visit my friend," he suddenly said as we stepped out of the house.

"She's a psychology doctor... You won't get mad, right? I want to take you to her..."

I was about to react, but he spoke before I could.

"It's not what you think, wife. I'm just worried that you might not cope with your fear. I'm just worried, okay?" He clarified.

I didn't argue with him and just agreed. He explained his intention to me.

He bought me the food I wanted. He kept his promise from last night that we would do everything I wanted. I didn't hear a single word of objection from him. He agreed to everything I said and wanted. It felt a bit strange to me because before, he used to appeal to me about everything. He wasn't strict with me from the beginning; he became strict after learning the truth. I realized my mistakes, and I'll try to add more mistakes and sins to them. It's all about mindset, right? If I think like a fool, then I'll be the winner.

"You should face your fear, hija."

He's around the same age as Ethan, but he calls me "hija." What does he think of me? Am I my husband's child? I may be young, but I'm mature. I'm not a teenager anymore. I don't know, but I feel irritated with him even though he's genuinely kind. Maybe he's my enemy from my past life.

"We always recommend it to our patients. If you don't overcome your fear, it can become a trauma. That's where trauma comes from—facing the things they fear and didn't fight against. Try sleeping in your room again, lock the door, and have only the lampshade on. Sleep like you used to before."