Chapter 68 Love Yourself

"You don’t need someone to make you whole because you can do it by yourself. Repeat after me. I can buy myself flowers, I can love myself better, I can take care of myself better than anyone. I can go everywhere, buy myself everything I want. Doing everything makes me happy. I love myself better than anyone. I don’t need someone’s love. I am enough.

Love yourself better.

"Your worth is not determined by another person."

"What if the right time comes? The right person."

"Actually, I don't believe in those things. I am the right person for myself. I don't need anyone else. And that parallel universe thing that's popular? I don't believe in that either. And if there's really someone meant for me, we should already be together by now."

I fell silent. No matter what I say or ask, it doesn't matter because he doesn't believe. He doesn't believe in anything anymore due to the pain he felt.

"You should be the right person for yourself," he added after a long silence.

"And the right one will come?" I asked.

He just laughed and shook his head.

"I'm still not convinced that you can't love anymore and that you don't believe in love. You still love, you're just afraid to love again. Your love for your family is still real. You love your mother even though she left you."

He laughed even harder.

"Sometimes I love her but I always hate her. What I feel is ambivalent. Do you know that word? A person can love and hate their parents at the same time. I don't really love my mother. I hate her because she abandoned us. I just respect her as a human with feelings."

"You're confusing with your answers. You said earlier that you love your parents because they're already there when you were born. And now you're telling me you hate your mother. You're sending mixed signals," I said, slightly annoyed.

"You didn't understand what I said. Ambivalent. Search it on Google to know the meaning," he retorted, "you're being ignorant," he said with a laugh. My eyes widened at what he said. He called me ignorant. I don't know how many times someone has said that to me. My husband said I'm smart.

"Do you want Starbucks coffee? Ask your husband, tell him you're craving it. Get two, okay? One for me. I want an iced Venti matcha latte with 3 pumps of vanilla syrup."

He changed the subject. He looked happy and content with his life.

"Ambivalent is a mix of feelings," Joy answered while looking at her phone.

"Oh, someone's joining the conversation pretending to be smart by looking things up," Mark quipped, making me laugh. He loves teasing. I think Mark was a bully when he was a student.

It's been a week since we got back home.

"Ethan?" I called out to him. I woke up and he wasn't by my side. I usually wake up around lunchtime. I'm still sleepy.

I paused in the living room when I saw Joy.

"Hi," she greeted me with a smile.

What is she doing in our house? And why is she here all the time?

I glanced at what she was wearing. Why is she wearing Ethan's shirt?

She looked at what I was looking at.

"Ethan borrowed me his shirt. I fell into the pool earlier," she said with a smile.

"Looks like you just woke up," she changed the topic.

I'm not comfortable with her wearing Ethan's clothes and being here. How long has she been here? And where is Ethan?

"Mommy!"

I looked at Etheus holding a toy, with his father beside him.

Where did the father and son come from?

"Wife," Ethan greeted me. He came closer and kissed my forehead.

"Did you have fun on your outing with your dad?" I heard Joy ask.

"Yes, mommy!" our son answered.

"Are you hungry?" Ethan asked, fixing my hair.

"What do you want to eat?" he added.

I felt my appetite vanish when I saw Joy's face.

"What is that woman doing here?" I asked softly.

"She's visiting Ethues," Ethan answered nonchalantly. I don't believe that she's just here for a visit.

"Let's go to the kitchen. I'll prepare your lunch."

We were in the kitchen, and I quietly watched Ethan as he worked.

"How did my baby sleep?" he asked, but I didn't answer.

"Where did you come from?" I asked in a low voice, almost about to cry.

"I bought your fruits and I bought Etheus some snacks since he's craving pistachios. He wants to swim, want to join him?"

He placed a plate of fruit in front of me.

"His mother is out there," I replied with annoyance, my tone indicating my displeasure. Ethan raised an eyebrow due to my tone.

"You're his mom too."

"But his mother is here every day!" I said in frustration.

He stopped what he was doing and came closer to me. He kissed my forehead.

"I don't know why she's always visiting Etheus. But her reason is that my son is looking for her."

"How do you communicate? Do you call her? And what do you talk about? Do you talk all the time?" I had so many questions.

"After I send my son back, I'll tell her when I'll visit my son. Sometimes she leaves Etheus with me when she has something to do. And no, we don't talk all the time. We only talk about my son. And another thing, you're the one I always call."

"Why is she wearing your clothes?"

He furrowed his brows, seemingly confused by his own question.

"What do you mean?"

He returned to what he was doing.

"She said she fell and you lent her your clothes," I said irritably.

"I never lent her my things. And when she was here, I wasn't talking to her. I don't know that she fell in the pool. I haven't had a conversation with her."

I looked at Ethan carefully. I was trying to gauge if he was telling the truth.

Our conversation was interrupted when a maid entered.

"Sir, your sister is here."

"Ethan..." his sister called out his name with a sob when she saw him. They embraced.

"What's the sudden visit?" Ethan asked as they continued hugging, but suddenly she burst into tears.

"I'm sick," Ann said through her sobs.

"I'm dying. I inherited it from Mom," she said, breaking away from Ethan's embrace.

"What? What kind of illness?"

"That's why Mom came home, because she's sick too. She wants to spend time with us before she dies. Then I found out two weeks ago that I have the same illness as her. If it's not treated, I could die too," Ann said emotionally.

Ethan didn't speak immediately.

"Does Nathan know about this?"

"Yes, everyone in the mansion knows," Ann said while crying.

"I don't want to leave my son, Ethan," a fearful plea from Ann.

"We have hospitals and access to the best doctors. We're equipped with the latest technology. You'll get better," Ethan assured his sister.

"Ethan, only one percent of the world's population has this disease. There's no cure for it. And our hospital hasn't handled anything like this," Ann said hopelessly.

"What's your illness?"

"It's like what Kris Aquino has."

Ethan closed his eyes and opened them quickly.

"I'll find a solution for that. You won't die. I won't let it happen," Ethan said with determination.

I was about to say something when Etheus suddenly arrived, crying.

"My mommy's foot is bleeding, it hurts her. She can't walk."

Ann stopped crying when she saw Etheus.

"Auntie, why are you crying? My mom is crying too," Ann said innocently.

"Where is your mommy?" Ann asked, wiping her tears away.

Ethan seemed indifferent. He came closer to me and handed me an apple.

"Daddy, my mom is bleeding," Etheus said with fear.

We went to where Joy was in the swimming pool area, sitting by the edge with her foot bleeding.

"Ethan, help me. My foot is bleeding. I can't stand or walk."

"That's a minor wound."

Ethan called for a maid to help Joy.

"Oh, I'll take care of this. Ethan, I'll handle this. You can continue cooking," Ann volunteered.

"But I want Ethan to heal my wound. He's a doctor, right?"

"I'm a doctor too, but for women. But I have knowledge about these things. I'll take care of your wound," Ann offered.

"Daddy, mommy said you're going to treat her," Etheus said.

"I don't know how to heal that, and I'm a pathologist," Ethan said irritably.

A maid arrived with a first aid kit.

Joy didn't have a choice but to let Ann treat her wound. It's funny because she stood up and walked to the living room on her own. Our guard should have carried her. She's acting spoiled.

"Why are you silent? What's bothering you, hmm?" Ethan asked while we were in the kitchen.

"I'm not comfortable with the fact that she's always here. She might as well move in with us," I said irritably.

"I'll talk to her about it later."

"Why will you two talk privately? I thought you don't really talk to her," I said suspiciously.

He smiled at me.

"Okay, I won't talk to her," he said.

"I'm not comfortable with her. Just return her child to her so she'll be quiet," I said, my irritation increasing.

"I still have two days left. After that, Ethues will be with her. They're going to migrate abroad soon." What is this man talking about?

Is he challenging me? Does he want to imply that he loves that child more than he loves me? He said he loves me and will always choose me. But it's not true.

"Choose. Me or your child with another woman?" I asked him boldly. If he dared not to choose me, I would hide our child from him.

"Of course you," he said without hesitation. I smiled at his answer. He understood the assignment.

I ate heartily.