57. Ugly Miranda

Miranda's point of view:

I have been standing in front of the mirror for over thirty minutes I guess, I'm just afraid to open my eyes ..... I'm scared to see my reflection in the mirror. it is not something worth watching. I hate seeing my reflection because it always makes me sad and it makes me question the moon goddess for creating me this way. My own image from the mirror turned me into a jealous human being. I envy those with pretty faces and nice bodies.... and I always wonder if it is the same goddess that creates us both. I think I'm the most ugly girl on earth, I've searched everywhere and I couldn't see anyone that is more ugly than I am. I've never boasted of being more pretty than someone.

At last I slowly opened my eyes to see the most ugly she-wolf on earth. Seeing my own image nearly makes me puke. Fat and red cheeks, flat nose, chubby or I must say fat body, big ugly eyeballs, ugly hair and short height though not that short. I let the tears slide down my cheeks as I quickly ran out from the mirror. I only look at myself in the mirror once in a while and anytime I do.... I learn to hate myself the more.

I flung on my bed releasing the tears in my eyes, it hurts so much. It hurts so much that even my own mother is so ashamed of me. She has never introduced me to any of her friends and she never let the public know that I'm her child. So as my two sisters, they are also ashamed of me. We attend the same school but no one in the school knows that I'm their sister.

Mum should have killed me the day she gave birth to me. Why did she let me live when she knows that she can't boldly expose me to the public or love me as her daughter. If she is so ashamed of me, why didn't she kill me when I was born or when I was still in her womb, instead of allowing me to live and experiencing this painful life.

My life is such a bitter one and anyone that has not been in my shoes can never understand it. I have no friends ever since my childhood and I never get to enjoy a happy childhood. Rather I was bullied by my mate, even till this age I am still being bullied.

No male wolf has ever looked at me twice, talked more of asking me out, my face is kind of scary to them. I don't even know if my mate will ever accept me. So ridiculous! I know he will not. Who will even want to accept an ugly mate like me. I turned eighteen yesterday, guess what I celebrated my birthday even though I have a family that lives with me under the same roof. They don't even care about me, what makes me think that they will care about my birthday? It was painful not to be celebrated on your birthday but I have no choice but to bear the pains. I didn't go to the mating ceremony yesterday because I'm sure that my mate will not accept me if he finds me.

So stupid as I am, I am crushing on a guy that can never ever be mine. He has not for once looked at me and I don't think he will ever do. I know I'm wasting my time loving him but I don't think it is a burden to me. I don't know why I feel connected to him, like he could be my mate. Since I haven't turned eighteen all those while I've been seeing him, I won't know if he's my mate or not because I won't feel the mate bond unless I turn eighteen. Even if he has turned eighteen, he won't feel the mate bond until I turn eighteen too. But I know that if it turns out that we are mates, he will never accept the mate bond. He will reject me right away and I don't know if I'm ready to face the pain of being rejected, especially by the man I love.

Yes, I am praying for him to be my mate because I love him but I'm also afraid that he will reject me. The mate bond will pull him towards me but once he rejects me, the mate bond will break and he will feel nothing for me. If he rejects me, he won't feel the pain because he has Alpha blood in him. He's the son of the Alpha of our great pack, Night Walkers pack.

Hahaha! I know you must be laughing at me now for falling in love with the son of our Alpha. A man who will become the next Alpha of our pack. I'm so pathetic to think that he will accept me and make me his Luna. I'm not just ugly but I'm weak, even though I'm not an Omega, I'm weaker than an Omega. That's why I was easily bullied till this age. There's nothing worth commending in me. I'm just a pathetic loser. How it hurts.

After crying my heart out, I wipe my eyes and breathe out. This has been my usual routine anytime I look at myself in the mirror. Seeing my ugly face reminds me of every possibility that I will live alone and die alone.

Just then the door creaks open and Mandie, my junior sister, pops in her head. She despises coming into my room. Well, not just my room but she despises me too. She sees me as a plague that she can't come close to.

“Listen Miranda, my boyfriend wants to have dinner with mum and my sister so better not show up because you are not needed there. I don't want your ugly face to scare my boyfriend away," she said rudely and slammed the door behind her and more tears fell down my cheeks.

Why are they treating me this way? Am I the one that created myself? If my own family is treating me this way, what else do I expect from outsiders?

Mandie and Clair are my sisters but they have never for once called me their sister, talk more of mum, she has never shown me a motherly love. She doesn't acknowledge me as her daughter. In fact, she hates me. My presence irritates her.

About one hour later, after I'm done bathing and dressed in my nightie .... I heard chattering from the dinning, I guess Mandie's boyfriend is here. I felt like an outcast in my own father's house, there is no use going out there because I will only embarrass myself and inflict more pain in my already wounded heart. I know that my mother and sisters won't cease to hurt me with their words.

I miss my father because he is the only one that shows me love and reminds me of my worth. He gives me the strength to live in this wicked world. I became weak after his death, life became more boring and sometimes I thought of committing sucide. I once wanted to take my life but that was when my father was still alive, he was the one that stopped me.

“No matter what you may face in this world my dear, killing yourself won't solve the problem. By killing yourself, you are letting the world rejoice that they won against you because seeing your downfall and giving up is what they want. You have to stand up for yourself and enjoy your life, you are a werewolf like them and have the right to be happy like them. You are beautiful in the eyes of your creator and that's enough. Believe me there are people who you are much better than but they are still living happily, they have never thought of taking their life. Your life is worth more than gold, you don't have the right to take away a precious life given to you by your creator." My father lectured me the day I wanted to take my life.

From that day till the day he died his words are in my heart, they always ring to me wherever I try to do something silly to myself but I don't know how long I can endure all these pains.... I might give up because it is so painful.

….

The next day ....

I prepared early for school as I always do. Mandie and Claire are known for their late coming. They are just spoiled brat who are wasting mum's money in blue moon college. Mum said that she is not going to see me through college but luckily for me I gained a scholarship. Mum is rich but I don't live like a rich woman's child. Mum cares less about my well being, she only cares for Mandie and Clair. I need to work part-time jobs just to see for my basic needs except food and shelter but sometimes they gave me no food.

I applied for a job in a coffee shop even in a pizzeria but I was denied the job because of my ugliness. It took me time to find a job and the only place I did find a job was at a construction company as a cashier. It wasn't easy working there because of the so much insult I receive everyday at work but I can't give up because the job is of so much help to me. I go to work on the weekend and whenever I'm free at school.

Blue moon college is the biggest college in the whole region and it is owned by our pack's Alpha. Many elites go to that school and sometimes, I feel like I'm not welcomed there.

After preparing for school I walk to the kitchen to make something for myself to eat.

Claire walks in and her mood changes immediately she sets her eyes on me.

“Why should it be you of all people, now my day will be ruined by seeing you this early morning," she said, irritated.

I just ignored her. I took the cup to make myself a coffee

“Hey!, Don't infect the cup with your ugliness." she gushed out and I still kept quite doing what I'm doing.There is no point trying to talk back at her because in the end she will be the one to win.

“So you are going to pretend as if I'm not talking to you. You know what is good for you.... Just die because you are not needed in this world. You have an infectious disease which is your ugliness and you are nothing but bad luck. I wonder why the goddess made you my sister.... So disgusting!" she blurted out and stormed out of the kitchen. I guess she wants to make me sad since I've been ignoring her.

I couldn't hold back the tears, I just let it slide. I lost my appetite at the moment. By now I should be comfortable with their bad words to me but it still hurts, it still hurts so much. They are my family, they are supposed to be different from the outsiders. I believe that if they treat me with love and care, I wouldn't mind what outsiders will be saying..... I will live my life happily.

I left the kitchen without having anything. My life is such a bitter one, I thought I will adapt to it but it is so hard. I took a taxi to school. The taxi man never stopped glaring at me. I guess he is so irritated by my ugliness and he regrets giving me a ride.

My heart skips a bit as I step down from the taxi. I'm going to face those nasty students today. They also make life one of a hell for me. I breathed heavily while walking towards my class, just then there was chaos.

The students were rushing to a direction, I wonder what's going on but seeing Alexander Garcia walking in the midst of the students and his guards trying to chase the students away, I realize that he was the reason for the chaos. He is my crush but I know I'm just day dreaming because he can never be mine no matter what.

I smile sheepishly staring at his handsome face, he is just so handsome, just like an angel and his aura speaks of riches, powers and dominance. I wonder how the goddess creates someone to be this handsome and created me to be this ugly... Isn't it unfair?

Almost all the female students are dying to make him theirs. Besides, he's the Alpha heir and every she-wolf wants to be the Luna. Not only that, he's handsome too but the problem with him is that he is a playboy, he sleeps with a lady just once and after that he has nothing to do with her again. I know much about Alexander. you know what, I spent half of my life dipping into his own life, like I literally know most things about him but I'm sure that he knows that someone like me doesn't exist. Even if he knows that I exist, he will want to run far away from me.

As he approached me I felt butterflies in my belly but he wasn't looking at me, but at the path which he walked.... He didn't even notice my presence and why should he anyway, no guy has ever noticed my presence talking more of the Demigod, Alexander. The students call him Alexander the great. He's not just handsome but powerful too.

A crazy student who was trying to feel her finger run through any part of his body ended up pushing me and I fell on his body as we both fell down, I was on top of him. I widened my eyes in shock as I tried to gulp down, I felt my heart beating so fast inside of me and I felt all the blood in me dry up.

The students gasp, I can see so much jealousy in their murmuring. Why should they be jealous? Alexander won't find me attractive but disgusting. I can see the irritating and angry look on his face but I was stupidly staring at his handsome face forgetting to get off him. The goddess spent the whole day or maybe a whole week creating this guy, he is freaking handsome. I just can't get enough of him. Why didn't he create me this way, maybe the goddess hates me so much.

I was still in a deep thought when Alexander pushed me brutally and I fell down hurting myself in the process. His guards helped him up and his face held so much anger. I know that I'm in trouble but it wasn't my fault that I fell on him, a crazy student pushed me.