Chapter 32- Be Okay

My legs shook in anticipation as I waited in the car. It was my dad's bail hearing, but I just knew I couldn’t go inside.

His lawyer and old friend, Larry, greeted me before they went in, and he actually assured me that my dad would be okay and he'll do all he can to get him free.

But that was the issue. Did I want him to be free?

Of course I missed my dad and wished that everything could go back to normal like this never happened, but something did happen. And if he really killed those people, no matter how much I loved him, he can't walk free.

I felt guilty. There was a possibility that Sheldon was dead only because I was with him. MY DAD took someone's life in my name. I hated that.

I was happy that I had Tristan with me. I felt bad for ghosting him those past days. But after last night, I was reminded why I fell in love with him in the first place. Yep. I love Tristan Deckor.

At first it occurred as a surprise to me. But how could I not? I admit, at first I was attracted to him because of how hot and alluring he was, and the feeling was mutual on his part. But after getting to know him--the real him, I couldn't help but fall in love with everything about him. The man has the heart of a million angels all in one, not to mention his sexy protectiveness and determination. He's hardworking, and full of morals. Who wouldn’t fall in love with him?

And the best part about it all was that he loved me too. That was the greatest feeling ever. He loved me, and he showed it in everything he does.

I had to be grateful that he was so understanding too. I wasn’t fair to him, yet he simply brushed it off and stayed with me all night last night. When he had to leave this morning to go home for clothes, I felt empty inside. I couldn’t help the never-ending need to be around him always. I knew it was my grief that caused my clingy state, but luckily he didn’t mind.

I checked my watch for the umpteenth time as I gazed at the large courthouse. I didn’t know what they were doing so long. It couldn’t be too hard to tell a man if he could be temporarily free or not. Right?

I knew Larry had his ways, so this could most likely go in my dad's favour for now. I just hated being alone in the car.

After what seemed like ages, a familiar face emerged from the court, and my heart surged in a number of emotions as I met him across the road. Tristan rested his hand on the good side of my back as he led me to a shady spot under a tree, and I waited eagerly to hear the news.

"The judge granted him bail" He said firstly, and I was both happy and irritated at it. I couldn't tell if I wanted him to be locked up or free until trial.

Then again, I was taken by surprise. I really thought that they would've denied him bail. He did, after all, kill two people. It just goes to show how persuasive Larry really was.

"When will-when will be the trial?" I questioned. Tristan had that look that told me he didn’t want to 'stress me', but he knew I would rather hear it from him.

"In a month" He provided, and I brought my fingers to my lips to bite my nails--a nervous habit of mine. "Hey come here" He pulled me to his chest, placing a single kiss on my forehead before directing my gaze to his. "We're gonna get through this okay?"

I nodded. "Thank you for being my rock...But, have you connected both the murders yet?"

"We're working on it" He mumbled with a slight frown. "But that lawyer is good. We need to have the evidence solid without any loops for a jury to be convinced"

My head throbbed at the very thought of it all, so I quickly decided to drop it. "Can we just go home? Order a pizza and stay in for the rest of the day? Take me to your house since my mom is at mine."

"Sure baby. Whatever you want" He gently kissed my forehead again. "But don’t you want to see your dad? He asked for you"

As if right on cue, he emerged from the court with Larry. My heart sunk, as a feeling I knew too well caused my blood to boil.

I was angry. Really angry.

Seeing him in the flesh just made it all more real, and I realised just how much he hurt me too. Yes, Sheldon and Mia hurt me. But if he knew just how much he hurt me too, then what would he do about that?

All that sorrow I felt over the past few days after learning the truth was simply my anger that hadn’t fully manifested yet. Somewhere in my subconscious, I was holding back on the truth. I was coating my anger with every other emotion possible, simply because I didn’t want to accept the truth.

But seeing him confirmed it all. My dad was a criminal. A freaking criminal.

He gazed across the steps and met my eyes, and a huge smile took over his lips as he made his way towards me. I felt like running in the opposite direction, but my legs stood firm as he came in my direction.

"Meet me back at the car okay?" Tristan's voice broke me from my gaze, and I quickly reached up to kiss his lips as I nodded.

"Okay."

My dad finally approached me, and I kept my expression stoic. He beamed as he came to me with wide arms, but I stepped away before he could reach me. He was obviously confused by my gesture.

"Cianna? What's wrong? I'm here sweetheart" He tried to come in for a hug again, but I jumped back as if he had a contagious skin disease.

"Dad no" I held my hand up as my eyes stung with tears. I batted my eyes rapidly, trying to contain them.

"Is something wrong?" He asked, and I whipped my head towards him so fast, I might've had whiplash.

"Is something wrong?" I mimicked. "You killed a woman dad!" I couldn’t believe him. He really had the gall to act as if everything was okay.

His face scrunched in confusion, as if he couldn’t understand my reaction. "She tried to kill you Cianna. She landed you in the hospital!"

"And it would've landed her in a jail cell, not a grave! Dad, I hated that woman--hated her. But I can't imagine you doing something like that. We're supposed to be better than her, not the same. Two wrongs don’t make a right dad. YOU taught me that." My heart broke at the betrayal.

Why would he kill someone? I understood where he MIGHT'VE been coming from, yet I still didn’t understand.

"Did you kill Sheldon too?" I dared myself to ask the question that had been on my mind for the past few days. He hesitated as he watched me in pain. That was enough clarification for me. But instead, he denied it.

"I didn’t kill Sheldon," he simply said, not once meeting my gaze. I knew he was lying. He must've realised that my reaction to him killing Mia wasn’t a good one. He must've thought that if I knew he killed Sheldon, I would hate him.

But he didn’t have to tell me. I could see right through him. I didn’t hate him, but I needed to be away from him.

"I'll see you at your trial. Goodbye dad" I swiped the tears from my cheeks harshly as if they were burning me, as I swiftly walked over to where Tristan was waiting, leaning against his jeep. I stepped in his arms without even saying a word to him, but he understood.

"I'm sorry baby" He whispered as he ran his fingers through my hair. I didn’t bother saying anything. I just let him lift me into his jeep and take us to his house, my quiet sniffles being drowned in the rushing wind.

I had my head leaning against the window as I watched the trees rush by in a racing blur. I felt as he reached for my hand across the console, interlacing our fingers to provide me comfort.

I'll get over it--I know I will eventually.

I didn’t exactly know how to go forward from now on, but one look to the wonderful man beside me, and I knew I was ready for anything.

"I love you" I whispered, but loud enough for him to hear.

He glanced at me quickly with a small smile before directing his gaze back to the road. He brought my hands to his lips, placing a small kiss there before resting it back on his thigh.

"I love you too Cianna."

And just like that, no matter what, I knew I'll be okay.