Chapter 60: First impressions and quitting.

GIOVANNI.

I was on the balcony when the car pulled through and she came down. I watched her adjust the dark blue pencil gown she had on which had ridden up her thighs in the car, I guess. It looked official but sexy.

Anything looked sexy on her.

With the way her lips were set in a thin line, her eyes barely gushing over the exterior, I knew she was angry.

Well, I was right cos the snap in her tone when she greeted me after I walked in was all I needed to confirm that she didn’t like what had happened yesterday.

However, I didn’t say anything.

I just looked over my shoulder and ignored her. Then, I led her to my home office and told her what to do. The fire in her eyes accompanied by the strings of cusses that left her pretty lips emphasized just how much she didn’t want to be doing what I asked her to.

I saw how she was quick to do as I had asked of her even with her grumbling. I read her body signals and understood them perfectly. When I noticed she was done with what I had asked of her, I decided to test her waters by asking her to make me coffee.

But her reaction had completely left me stunned. The way she had bluntly yet fiercely and unapologetically told me that if she ended up making the coffee, she would either poison it or pour it all over me.

It left me horrified!

It made me wonder how much I was hurting her for her to utter those words to me in the heat of the moment. I tried to believe that she didn’t mean them. So, when she started to talk about me not giving her an explanation about having a fiancee yet still cheating on her with her, I badly wanted to let the words out.

She had screamed in my face, going on and on about how she deserved an explanation for all that had happened yet I couldn’t bring myself to say anything.

It made me feel guilty.

Guilty.

Before she had even started to scream in her face, I had felt the urge to give her an explanation. Cos she deserved one. It killed me not being able to reach out to her and take her in my hands, assuring her that all was well.

It killed me not being able to tell her that; “ IT WAS ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING. I DON’T LIKE HER!”

I wanted to scream those words at her. I was running mad not able to. I was turning mad.

But when she started to vent her heart out, I felt I had to keep quiet.

This wouldn’t be happening anyway if I had not started it. I had broken one of my own rules of no business with pleasure.

I had fucked up.

The urge to stop me from hurling profanities was huge but when she stopped venting, I spoke. I started to speak to her softly. But it wasn’t until I finished talking that I realized all I had said to her. It wasn't until then that I started to wish I could take everything I said back.

Every damn thing!

Cos after that, we just stood staring at each other while I breathed heavily like I had just taken up a big task and had completed it. In reality, I just did.

I just hurt her.

“Kiki…” I started to say when she took a step back and her back met with the wall.

Her hands came over her mouth like she was struggling to strangle back a sob and then her eyes widened like the size of saucers. However, when I looked into them what I saw scared me.

It scared the shit out of me.

Hurt.

Pain.

Betrayal.

Those expressions were creeping at the layers of her eyes, her body slouching in them with quivering lips and slightly trembling hands.

What had I done?

Did I think this was a joke?

What had I done to her? What had I said?

Her feet were tapping the tiles noisily and I just watched her. It was weird and heart-wrenching seeing her paralyzed like that after my words. She hadn’t reacted like this when she spoke to me about her ex.

The expressions, feelings, reactions…nothing came close to how she was acting now. Absolutely nothing came close and I couldn’t help but feel paralyzed too.

“What we had, what we did was just a fling. A stupid fling that doesn’t matter to me.”

I lied.

I fucking lied. It mattered to me. Everything mattered to me. She matters to me.

But how was I going to tell her that after everything I just said and did? She would never believe me. Kiki would hate me forever. That thought killed me on the inside.

“Kiki?” I called out to her, my voice a shadow lower and softer too. She snapped her head up so fast as something had whipped in them. I visibly winced for her imagining the kind of hurt she would be feeling in her neck now.

But that didn’t even come close to how I must have just made her feel. The physical pain was nowhere close to the emotional ones.

Something stirred in her eyes as she watched me. It looked like a silent plea for me to renounce everything I had said. It looked fierce too. It looked like it could consume me if I dared to say another word. It looked like a death trap.

I don’t know how long she watched me like that but it was enough to make me feel awkward all over. The silence was very uncomfortable and awkward. But her stares were more than that. It was triple the silence or how I felt.

“Kiki, I…” The way she hissed cut me off everything I intended to say.

“I should have known what a jerk you are. First impressions matter most right?” She asked, her brows raised. Then, she said the words I dreaded next.

“I quit this stupid job! Have my paycheck sent! I’m done. Have a nice life.” She added in tight-lipped smile as she picked up her bag and swung it over her arm. Then, she sidestepped me without a pause and walked out.

The silence that followed after she left…

Was sure to haunt me…