17

olivia

A month has passed in my life, a month in which I came out of rock bottom and conquered things on my own merit. I got the position of financial administrative manager. It may have been quick, but Salvatore told me that it had nothing to do with my salary being so high, that everyone is paid the same at his company, I believed him, because despite everything, I've been working like never before, I even work overtime , I also suspect that the secretary has been leaving work beyond what is necessary for me, but I don't care, I know my position and I will go to work.

João and I moved to an apartment closer to our place of work, even closer to where Larissa lives.

My days went by being the same, there were times when I woke up discouraged not wanting to leave the house, but I looked around and I needed that, there were also nights when I cried nonstop until I fell asleep, remembering my parents, Agnelo , I lied when I said I didn't love them, I did and I still do.

Eloíse came to visit me, I went to her house, Joao and I actually. I decided to give Doctor Salvatore a chance, in fact my decision to take a new step, it was after Agnelo got my phone number and started calling me, when I heard his voice I started to cry, I felt chills all over my body, I felt missing him, even though our moments together were few, I fell in love and it was still hurting everything he said to me, it hurt even more the reality of knowing that I myself submitted to it.

My boyfriend has been a great man, he respects me above everyone else and after our make out in his office we never had anything like this again, I still don't feel comfortable making love to another man, I don't know what came over me but after Agnelo touched my skin, I no longer have that desire, that fire. Salvatore understands me, but he doesn't know about someone else who also lives in me.

He is very jealous and obsessive with me, he calls me several times a day and wants to see me all the time, I even understand his side, but sometimes I feel a little suffocated. However, I learned to develop a special affection for him and so I keep going, building a relationship little by little, of affection and companionship.

Today, during my lunch break, I'm going home to eat something, I don't like to eat in restaurants all the time, because lately I've been eating very little, I've already noticed some baggy clothes on me, I realize that I'm creating a little tummy by always sitting down in front of a table.

"Are you ready to go yet?" Salvatore asks me looking into my eyes. His gauze is so intense that I can clearly see how much he likes me.

"Yes, today I'm hungry!" I exclaim and smile.

So we walked out hand in hand through the big doors of his giant building. Soon after, his car appears, brought by one of his employees, we get in it and head towards my house.

When we arrived, the food was already ready, I had made it the night before and my boyfriend never bothered to eat food reheated by me.

Half an hour later, we're already satisfied, I go to the bathroom to brush my teeth and I feel a little dizzy again, I haven't told anyone about this, but for exactly two weeks I've been feeling these things, of course, a lot of things went through my head, but it's not possible that was what I was thinking, I had taken the morning after pill after my last night with Agnelo.

I stop for a while and try to remember what the day after our last night was like and... Shit, shit, shit! I didn't take the pill, damn it, it was exactly the day I left home, with so much going on I ended up forgetting.

I look at my hands and they are sweaty and shaking, it can't be that, I can't be pregnant with Agnelo, no, no, no!

I look at my face in the mirror and reflect on the last month, could this really be it? Maybe it's too much work, I haven't been sleeping very well, before I despair I need to do a test, just to be sure and have a clear conscience, I know it's nothing... I didn't feel anything but a little dizziness two or three times when I hurried up the stairs, my body has not changed, other than the office desk belly. Shit!

So, I brush my teeth and go downstairs again, Salvatore is sitting on the couch playing with his cell phone, I need to hide it, I need to find some excuse to buy a test, I can't just go to the doctor and ask to do a Beta HCG test, even more so when there is a great possibility of things being in my head.

"Hey, is everything okay?" He looks at me smiling and my fear grows, his smile is so beautiful, he is so beautiful, I don't want to lose him.

Not now, when I'm starting to like him.

"Yes, I have a slight headache, I think I'll go to the nearest pharmacy to buy a painkiller, will you wait for me here?" I try to look as calm as possible.

"I'll go with you, we're not doing anything anyway." He gets up smiling, asked me if there's ever a day he's not smiling.

"All good." I agree.

At the pharmacy I'll find a way to distract him, maybe if I avoid him, he might suspect something. I don't want that, keeping it natural is the best option now, I'll freak out after the result, which please, I hope it's negative.

So we went to the pharmacy, we chose to go by car, it was close but our lunch break wasn't that long, any lost time cost us. Arriving at the pharmacy, I try to quickly ask for a medicine for the headache, I know I'll have a lot of headaches after that, but I still need the test.

"Can you believe I'm already hungry?" I disguised at him.

"There's a chicken shop over there, do you want some?" he asks happily.

"Yes, if it's not too much trouble, I need to use the bathroom here real quick while you go over there." I say and he kisses me on the forehead.

"Your wish, it is my pleasure to fulfill." He speaks softly and I want to cry.

Why? I wanted so much to love you, Salvatore...

As he turns to go to the store, I ask for five pregnancy tests. I pay for them and put them in my bag at the same time that he's back with the food, but luckily I'm already in front of the pharmacy waiting.

We get in the car and go back to the apartment, I eat some chicken and talk to him about company-related matters. Suddenly it starts to rain heavily outside, along with that the tightness inside my heart intensifies, I look at the man in front of me and feel my pain increase, I approach him slowly and kiss him affectionately.

He takes my lips thirsty for me, I know it's been hard for him to hold the bar and not advance the sign with me, I finish kissing him when I notice his erection, he wants to be inside me, he seems to be successful at all areas, I enjoy being with him.

"Olívia... I'll wait for you as long as it takes, but I want you, I want to feel your skin, don't deny me that anymore... I love you." His words move me, tears fall from my eyes and I can't look at him anymore.

"I have to go to the bathroom, wait for me here." I speak and run upstairs with my purse in hand. I lock myself in the bathroom and sit on the floor in tears.

I take the five tests and do them, my body shakes, my hands sweat, my legs wobble, I'm not well. Please, I can't be pregnant, I can't! I mentally beg between sobs, wait as long as necessary to see the result, and then look at the five tests:

Positive.

With tears streaming down my eyes, I grab my cell phone and send a message to Eloíse and João: HELP! I'M PREGNANT!

And now? How am I going to tell my boyfriend, who just told me he loves me, that I'm pregnant by another man, when I never even wanted to have sex with him.

Just when I thought it was all falling into place... Hell, Olivia!