He's Back

Trevor left the room after what happened to us earlier. To this day I am still stunned and can't seem to get over what happened. Yes, I admit I liked the kiss. I like the hugs. I like everything about him. Yet... this is not good to do. I would like to, but Cedrick and I have something to talk about.

I have to fulfill our conversation with Cedrick.

After realizing all the events earlier. My anger and shame at myself only grew. I can't accept that I did that to Trevor. That I agreed to kiss him. Because in the first place... I shouldn't be looking forward to her lips. Everything else is his.

Because after all, I have no right. A dirty girl like me has no rights. After those scenes that happened recently... I have no doubt that Trevor is in love with me. He loves me. He likes me. And I should have prevented it. He can't fall for me. Because I want to return that love to him. I can not do it. I can never do it.

Because no matter who that man is in this world... I can't give my dirty self to them.

Especially Trevor. Trevor, the man who makes me smile, laugh, make me happy. The young man is loved by his parents.

The child who is considered a blessing by his parents. I can't bear to think that he, too, will sympathize with the mess of my life. I can't even fully imagine that the man this clan adores... I will drown in the dirt of the river I bathed in.

I do not know. I can not do it. I can't play with him.

I'll admit it. I'm not clean. I'm not good. I'm not a virgin anymore. But no matter what percentage I want to give myself to him... My conscience doesn't really care. He has feelings for me. I know that. And it shouldn't go any deeper because it's never possible.

So right now, I have to stop it.

After we ate with Trevor's parents and relatives. We both walked along the dark shore. The few before are gone. Gone is the strange tension that never rose between the two of us and only recently.

I forgot what happened in the room earlier because I was constantly laughing while eating. All the members of their Trevor family are funny, especially his father. And I'll admit, earlier when we were making eye contact with Trevor's daddy, I was shy, maybe he'll think I'm attracting his son but that's okay... What they know is that I'm Trevor's girlfriend. But... I'm still embarrassed.

While there was a headache earlier, I felt lighter. I also don't feel like I'm other people while talking to them. I really feel like a member of the Cervantes. Laughing, joking, smiling.

Trevor is loved by his family. Who doesn't? Aside from being a principled lawyer in the nearest future... He is also a good son. Good nephew. good uncle Good grandson.

So my reason to like him only intensified. Heist. Trevor. If I could only grab and claim you... Then I will ever since I met you... But our paths just destined to meet for a short period of time... And it would undoubtedly meet it's unalignment very soon.

Trevor was so easy to like. It's good to like it. But I have a hard time owning it.

"Um..." I looked at the behavior of the man I was with when I heard him making a sound.

"About what happened lately..." He added, I remained silent, waiting for him to continue his words. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it." he apologized to me.

I took a deep breath before answering him, enjoying the cool breeze coming from the sea. "Well, in fact... I felt so sorry too... I let you do that too." I sighed. "So... next time... Let's not initiate anything so that it doesn't happen again, okay?" I asked and raised my right eye brow.

He stared at my face for a moment. "I'm sorry again. And yes.. I... I... I will never kiss you again." he said but not polished. As if he was thinking twice about saying that.

We were silent for a few minutes while still walking. You tried to start a topic but Trevor seems to end it automatically. He is not interested in every word I say. He is not interested in listening to my every story.

Until.... I thought that I was the one who did the zipper between the two of us. I didn't even think about talking and making light of the situation between the two of us.

We both sat on the edge of the shore tiredly. It's very windy and cold. The fresh water that touches our feet also feels very good.

As the north wind kisses my skin, my hair dances with it.

I tried tilting my head up, meeting the heart flattering image of sky with the crowd of stars.

"Do you like them?" I frowned when Trevor heard me ask.

I was still looking up and not trying to look at him. Not interested in seeing his face, his reaction. "Which?" I asked back.

"The stars..." He answered and I guess he was looking above the sky too.

"Yeah... I like them." I responded.

"You see that?" I looked at Trevor's finger pointing at the sky. I followed that look and after realizing what he was talking about... I gave him a nod.

"Yes... I see." I said in agreement.

"That's the... Cassiopeia." It's trivia that made my eyes roll.

"Really?" I asked sounded so interested. This time, I turned to Trevor because I couldn't help it anymore. He rested his arms on both sides while looking up, still staring at the piles of stars.

"Yes." he answered me confidently.

I looked back up. "How did you say that? I have never seen that before. I just... Heard of its name but never happened to witness and see how beautiful it was." I told.

"That's my favorite part of the night sky..." He confessed. "When I was just a child. Grandma often taught him. According to him that was his favorite. So... It has become my favorite too." He stopped for a moment to take a deep breath.

"And out of the blue... Without actually knowing it... You want that too." There is sweetness in his voice.

After a three-day vacation, Trevor and I decided to go home to Manila. Our set up is still the same, he is still using a car while I am sitting in the shotgun seat. There were also boxes placed in the back seat because aunt Haidy, Trevor's mommy, buried food.

We left early in the morning so we arrived in Manila in the morning. He took me straight to

Cedrick's mansion and didn't even bother coming down to take me inside, of course,

why would he do that? Our pretending to be boyfriend and girlfriend is over.

He just said goodbye to me after maneuvering. He also texted 'thank you for coming with me. It was such a nice experience, time, vacation having you.' A sweet smile automatically appeared on my lips. I just shook my head and started to enter the mansion with the bag on my crutches.

I frowned, why is the mansion dark? When I left, the place was still very bright and airy. But when I came back, it seemed like a vampire was living here because there was only a small opening for the light to pass through from the outside... It was very small to find.

It's clean but dark. It's amazing.

I quickly climbed the stairs when I arrived at the second floor... I stopped in shock because of the loud scream I heard from Cedrick's room. My lips parted and I couldn't help but ignore what I heard. I looked at Cedrick's room and it was half open.

From where I was standing, I could see the messed up stuff inside as if a typhoon had just passed through it. Trembling prevailed in my chest. It grew until it gradually spread to my person. I continued walking until I touched the doorbell.

And here... My throat trembled. From there, on top of the bed, Cedrick was there, laying while his upper clothes were not properly fixed, with his pants with unbuckled belt. Her hair was messy while holding a bottle of wine.

From his eyes I can see the anger, hatred, and sorrow there. It's like he's miserable and just for a second he wants to kill someone. I looked around the room. Is it because of him that his room looks so messy and horrible?

I just got more nervous.

Then... What made him so angry? What was the reason for him to destroy all his things? Like it was just a cheap stuff to throw away in trash.

"Sherin..." I almost jumped from where I was standing after hearing his very serious voice. My muscles seemed to tremble and I seemed to want to run away because of his anger but his voice was calm.

I tired to stepped backwards to avoid his mad state and just talk to him when he finally calmed down but he called me for the second time.

"Sherin." His voice turned more serious.

I couldn't move where I was standing and my throat felt dry.

"Sherin... Get. In. Side." Cedrick ordered full of authority.

I swallowed cold saliva before starting to step into his room. I was shaking with fear and anxiety. When I entered, Cedrick and I immediately met our eyes. His eyes are on fire and his eyes are very hot.

He dropped the wine glass he was holding on the floor, which caused it to break. The feathers stood up even more as he quickly and aggressively approached me while looking directly at my lips. "Hmmp," I shuddered as he gripped my womanhood hard and full of teeth as he kissed me sticky.

My eyes are still open, confused and afraid of what he just did. It's not like this anymore. He is not like this when he initiates sex with me. He was cryde but a bit gentle. Gentleness was always there but today... it has nothing. It's like he's very angry about something else and he sympathizes with me.

Tears almost formed in my eyes. While kissing him... I know.. I feel... He is angry. Cedrick is angry and I don't know why. Did he get mad when I left the mansion without him knowing it? Did he get furious for myself resting on another man's house and even acted like I was a girlfriend of that human being?

My heart beat faster and also intensified with the weight. Cedrick continues to kiss me but I don't reciprocate. Until he finally noticed it and said, "Sherin, baby... Kiss me back..." He muttered like a command. My eyebrows met and my heart filled with so many questions.

What did he just say? Did he just call me... baby?

Did he?

Really?

I was almost eaten by my fantasy but I remember... He now treats me as his young girl cousin. My tears fell as I shook my head from his kiss. I held his arm and resisted his indebtedness to me, slowly pulling him away.

When I successfully pushed him away from me, I wiped my mouth harshly using my forearm, removing his saliva that transferred already in me.

"Fuck... Why?" His eyes were full of madness yet there's a confusion there. And I stopped him from getting angry and yelling because of what I did.

I cried but there's no sound in it... I just... Let my tears flow down. "A-Are you mad at me?" I asked him.

He was staring at me with his forehead wrinkled. "What?"

Oh God... why is he asking me? I asked you first hot asshole!