Alcoholic Sex

EVERY QUARTER OF my life has its own sweetness and bitterness. Not every minute is easy and happy. Not every second is worth fighting for. But... After those hard times... If you managed to survive and live longer in the earth... You will surely be able to get the gift the world has reserved for you.

Just fight against the waves.

Keep wiping the tears.

Laugh at the sad moments. And in the end.

The smile that almost reaches your ears will never ever leave you.

"God! I love you!" Trevor kissed me on my lips. My eyes almost cried while staring at him. Many days are over again. And here, we both hugged each other, we were very happy, the joy was unbearable, because we both read our names in the list of bar exam passers.

"I love you too." I smiled widely while hugging him. I looked back at his laptop screen and stared at it. It was just a dream, and now it finally came, it finally happened. Trevor and I did not have a quiet first marriage.

Back then, often every night, someone would knock on our door and shout outside, calling my name. And sadly... It was Cedrick. When I said got up

that he was at the time he and Elise broke up. His miserableness returned when I left his mansion.

Even though I was angry, I felt sorry for that man. But I never tried to talk to him, because Trevor does it for me. There was a time when the two of them got into a fight, it got hurt so I just went out and exposed him. He beat Trevor so badly that I was filled with anger. I yelled at him and told him that I would never come back.

I owe Cedrick nothing. All of that. I paid with my body. It's worth every penny. And I know he knows it. He could never deny that.

Trevor and I celebrated this huge achievement so we ordered a lot.

I'm tired and I can't even cook for the two of us and do a lot of laundry at the end. It's better that everything goes straight to the trash.

Then we went up to the rooftop and lay down on the bed to look at the many stars. We both wanted to find and were eager to experience respite from each other.

I was leaning on his arm and hugging his waist. I tried to bring my chest closer to him so that he could hear every beat of my heart, how happy I was at this time.

A FEW days passed and we both had good jobs. I was hired by a company and became its company lawyer. While my boyfriend belongs to a famous law firm here in the Philippines, communicates and fights bravely in the Supreme Court.

Trevor and I are always laughing. Every day I have a smile on my face and I seem to have forgotten the word sadness. But in recent days... We often fight each other not because someone is interfering in our relationship... But because of his work.

"You know that family, Trevor! They can erase you from this world if you fight them! It's possible! Please! Don't be you! Give it to someone else please... Baby, I can't even you, let them move... A-I don't want... I'm afraid of losing you..." My crying filled the whole house.

Trevor immediately hugged me to stop me from disappearing. He was tasked to defend the victim against the Rivera Family. They are known as the cruelest bastard, the crazy politicians in the whole nation.

And I can't stomach the fact that he is going to face those inhumane for the sake of some other people, not caring about his own life.

Must admit that I am very selfish. Trevor is a good lawyer and I know he can win the case he will handle. But I'm afraid after he puts them in jail, their tentacles will come back to him. And that's what I won't let happen.

I only have Trevor. I can't handle it if I lose him too.

Stop.

Trevor forced me into his arms. "Sherin. Baby, please? Okay, Sherin, baby, calm down. Nothing bad will happen to me okay? I know they won't come back to me. I know you won't lose me." He slapped my face.

"Hmm? When are we going to back off?" he asked me and I cried while shaking my head.

And I didn't even force and stop Trevor. He chose what his heart wanted and decided. I didn't go to work and just stayed indoors. Waiting for him to come home after his match. I bit my fingers as I prayed over and over again.

I hope... I hope... I hope he gets home safely. I hope I can sleep next to him today and the next few tomorrows.

I turned on the television to watch the news. There is no update yet on what is happening in the Supreme court. I'm not nervous about the match, but I'm nervous about France, my love. When twelve o'clock came, the news reappeared and declared the Rivera family guilty.

I cried with so much joy. My Trevor... My love... I'm so proud of you.

I fixed myself and sat on the veranda to wait for him. I made sure my face was clear for his arrival, I would face him well. I waited for some time. The earlier smile and joy in my chest was replaced by nervousness.

It's five o'clock but he still hasn't come home. The orange and darkness in the sky are almost snatching each other... He is still not with me.

Until I decided to leave and go see him at their firm because he might be there. He didn't even answer my calls so I almost panicked. I sped up the movement and turned on the radio and when I heard what was being said there... My world just stopped.

['On his way home after appearing to trial court, the car of Attorney Trevor Cervantes was hit by a ten wheeler truck. Unfortunately, he was declared dead on arrival.']

It felt like my world was shaking and I cried without even making a sound out of my mouth. I seemed to be muted. My chest hurts so much and it feels like it's being torn to pieces.

Like want to die too. Is everyone leaving me? Should everything just disappear from this world when I'm having fun? At times when I forget my grudges?

Why of all people... Trevor? The man I still love?

Can't it be just the two of us? Can't we just be together in the afterlife? Can't we always be alone? Can't we just be together all the time? Why is this? Why do all my prayers seem useless? Is it because... I'm a sinful person?

Will the world always crush me? What you thought was my determination will be tested.

Trevor's body was buried in the province. I didn't make a mistake and the Rivera family is the one who did it. I took on a job I didn't like very much just to win the case and bring justice to my boyfriend's death.

But even though I got the justice I was hoping for... It didn't remove the pain, sadness, anger from my chest. There is still a space left in my heart and I know... It will never be filled.

TWO YEARS LATER Trevor would find out. Still, nothing has changed. I'm still very depressed. I still carry the pain in my back. I can no longer fulfill my roles in myself.

I can't fix and beautify anymore because what else is it for? My boyfriend is gone.

I'm full of bars every night. Wine has become the water of my body.

The wakefulness dwells under my eyes. My life also seems to have lost its rhythm. My world has lost hope. Most of all, the little palace in my heart lost its color.

I can't get Trevor out of my mind. He is always in my mind and every night in my dreams. There... I hugged her... There... I kissed her. Things are still very painful. It seems like all that happened just yesterday even though the truth is that it's been two years... It's been two years since the man I love left me.

"Give me another." I motion my finger to the bartender guy who is now holding the glass of liquor. My eyes are spinning and my stomach is hot because of the alcohol, but I'm not giving up. I want to get drunk and forget everything I'm carrying now. It's heavy and I'm hoping the alcohol will take it away.

watched this man pour wine. My vision is blurry and spinning and I just smile. I couldn't understand his brother's reaction because he was frowning and shaking his head. I just laughed at him and gulped straight the liquor he poured into my glass.

"Oh God!" I took a deep breath after gulping down the wine and stared at my slightly raised glass, facing my face. "One more!" I ordered the man again.

Although the man hesitated, he still poured me my glass. I took it when he finished and immediately drank it. I laughed like crazy again. "Will someone pick you up later, ma'am? You don't seem to be able to drive anymore."

The bartender asked suddenly.

I nodded to him and started to stand up, resting my palm on the counter top.

"Yes, there is. From heaven." I answered and laughed at him before walking to the dance floor.

There are a lot of people here and the place is noisy. I took my place, I claimed the dance floor while holding onto the dance floor. I just realized that the spot light was focused on me.

That's why I tried to move my waist left and right while holding the pole dance and closing my eyes. A smile was etched on my lips.

I don't find myself dancing with men who approach me. I leaned into the pole dance and held on to it, still smoking, attracting the men who were now staring at me. Someone even asked my name earlier and I said, 'Heaven' because I know that's where people who die go.

Until... I heard a complaint from a man behind me followed by hands that suddenly grabbed my waist. "Um..." I purposely made the sound I let out when the man's hand moved from my waist down to the side of my ass.

I'm a little dizzy because of the alcohol. My eyesight is not good anymore so I can't see the face of the man who pulled me to the edge of the dance floor, taking me away from everyone's attention, especially the men.

"Oh my gosh, who are you?" I asked him.

"Tell me who I am." That's what he answered me.

I just ignored him and turned away from him to dance. I slightly leaned on the man who pulled me away from the spot light earlier and held on to his shoulder. I continued to kiss while turning my back to him and he was still holding my waist.

"You should dance!" I shouted at him.

"Sherin..." I don't have any idea on how he could even know my real name. I never tell anyone about it who is currently at the same bar as me. I only introduced myself as Heaven and not Sherin.

"How did you get my name?" I asked him while swaying my hips sexily with the music.

"God baby, I missed you." That's what I heard him whisper to me. I retreated further from the man while closing my eyes, and couldn't stop dancing. Until, I could feel something swelling hitting and rubbing my body.

"You're sexy, baby..." The man wrapped his arms around my waist. I can also smell the wine coming from his mouth. We are both out of our minds and very drunk now. He went along with the swing of my body. Until the music was changed, and the DJ played a hot and sexy song.

That's why I faced the man and wrapped my arms around his neck. Our faces and bodies were very close to each other but I couldn't see his face because my vision was so messed up. Blurred by alcohol. We continue with the man's dance. Until the front of our bodies are rubbing together, including our delicates.

Heat engulfed my body. And it got even worse when the man I danced with grabbed me for a kiss.

Because of the warmth of his lips, I was carried away, I was carried away. "Hmm," I couldn't stop moaning when the man's hand landed on my chest. He squeezed it so that I completely gave up. Then his lips landed on my ear. He licked my ears and whispered.

"Let's continue this, I know a hotel nearby."

And my brain was completely consumed by alcohol because I agreed to go with the man. We ended up in a hotel and only broke the kiss when he opened the door. When we entered, even though the air conditioner was on, we were both warm and hot.

Together we removed the covering from the body. But that's because he's a man and his movements are fast. He undressed first and now I can see the one who will destroy me tonight. This is us and we are very angry.

Even though the man's face was not clearly visible, I knew he was staring at me now full of desire as I slowly removed my panties.

After I took it off, I threw it on the floor but he picked it up.

My panty was placed perfectly and properly on his hand, he brought it to his nose, and smelled it. "I miss your smell." He muttered.

We lead to the merging and unification of the body. I was currently lying on the bed with my legs wide apart as the man's long load entered my womanhood.

He didn't stop thrusting, that's why I kept moaning.

I really enjoy what the man is doing to me. As if this is the most comfortable feeling I've ever experienced in my life. Until suddenly something came to my mind while someone was shouting.

Trevor and I never had sex before, he never tried to touch me. But all the hot kisses, caresses, thrusts of this man to me are all familiar. Like... I've felt it before. As if I had experienced it before.

I woke up wincing because my body was so sore. My head is still aching, maybe because of the amount I drank last night. When I woke up, I gasped in shock when I realized that this was not my room.

I immediately panicked so I looked at my body. And my jaw almost dropped when I saw that I was naked, and that was the only time when I fully understood why my body was aching especially my femininity.

I looked at the person next to me and it was as if my sleeping self woke up completely. "N-No. What did I just do? N-No. Oh my, no." I slowly backed away while staring at Cedrick's face.

The guy I was just fucking yesterday night until morning was Cedrick. Fuck. It was Cedric.

No way. I shouldn't let this happen. No. Trevor. I'm sorry. I'm sorry Trevor. I'm sorry.

I quickly picked up my clothes scattered on the floor and got dressed. I quickly left the hotel room and didn't even bother to make money with the naked Cedrick.

I slapped myself hard. Why did I let this happen? Of all the men... Why Cedrick? The one man Trevor was jealous of before?