Sad Escape

My chest is still beating fast because I am so fucking nervous. I don't know where it came from but maybe it was because of what happened to us the other night with Cedrick.

I have already taken a bath but I can still feel his kisses, his caresses, his hugs. And it seems to be hotter compared to the ones we shared before.

I sat on the sofa and drank water. I feel guilty. I feel guilty that I had sex with him. Is Trevor mad at me now? Is he nauseous while watching me now? Because all I know at this time... I'm ashamed. I'm so shy.

Seyah came out from the kitchen. "You're very tense, sis, ah? How was the feeling of being in your cousin's arm for once after a while?" She asked in a mocking way.

I made him suffer.

"I'm not kidding you know." I said seriously.

She laughed at me and clapped. "It's just a joke, eh! It's you, eh. You were the only one who told me that that man was your cousin. But honestly, I really had a crush on him before. Before you admitted to me that he wasn't really your cousin." SHe said and sat on the sofa in front of me.

I raised an eyebrow slightly. She used to have a crush, huh? Well, we are the same. Just then before. I liked Cedrick. Really. But this is not the right time to worry about that. There is no right time yet. I should forget him.

"Well, anyway, how are you? Who's better in bed? Who's long? Who's tastier? Trevor or Cedrick?" Seyah asked obscenely.

"Trevor and I never had sex. Even at once." I answered honestly.

"What?!" Seyah was shocked in my confession. "For real?!" Her eyes were larger than before.

"Yes."

"Fuck. How could Trevor control his hormones with the sight of you?" Seyah asked in shock.

I sighed and felt even more guilty. "Nah," I sighed for the second time. "Actually, I know he was trying to make up with me. But when he touches me... When he kisses my neck... Cedrick is the man that comes to my mind. That's why I walk away voluntarily, I can't have sex with Trevor with Cedrick's touches buried in my being." I confess.

"Wow." Seyah shook her head in disbelief and drank the water in the glass. "So fafa Cedrick was the only one who entered our cave? And his caresses and kisses really left an impression on you, ah? Of course, maybe, even me too, if ever. He's so hot. I feel like even if I just rewind In my mind, when we have sex, I will have a major orgasm!" SHe screamed softly.

I winced.

"Wait, you were in consciousness when you segged, weren't you?" Seyah asked.

I nodded. "And... My eyes were so blurry that I couldn't see his face. All I know is... I agreed because of the man at the hotel and that's when... That's when I finally gave up." my story

"Fool!" She insulted me and that was actually a fact. "Well, what if it's not Cedrick? What if it's some other guy and then he sleeps with you? The troops will make you a hotbed!" Suddenly her face filled with fear.

"Okay? So you are saying that I should be thankful that Cedrick was my sex partner last night?" I even made a quotation marks using my fingers when I said 'sex partner'.

"Yes!" SHe stood up to go to the kitchen.

"Text now. Tell me, thank you, we had a great night. I forgot. Let's be alone again!" SHe screamed.

I waited for her to come back because she was taking care of the cookies she was baking in the kitchen. I leaned on the sofa and shook my head a little because I felt dizzy. I also drank water because I felt like I was going to de-hydrate. It wasn't until I heard Seyah's footsteps approaching me that I looked up.

She was so confused at this moment and I know it because her forehead was creased. SHe scrolled on his cellphone and seemed to be reading something. "What is that?" I asked curiously because she seemed intrigued by that.

She looked at me with narrowed eyes. I'm getting nervous. "Are you aware that Cedrick was searching for you?" SHe suddenly asked.

I immediately asked in my mind. What is this woman saying? Seyah walked quickly to me and sat next to me.

"Did you came here to my house to hide from Cedrick?" She asked again.

"What?!" I let out a laugh. "You're just joking, right?" No. That shouldn't happen. Why would Trevor have to find me?

She massaged her head a little bit of frustration. "God! Cedrick was searching for you! He is finding you bitch! Look, there are ten million more people who will see you." She showed me her phone.

My jaw literally dropped. Why is he looking for me? What does he need from me?

"Shur. What a sweetheart! I can give you up to him, right? I'm already rich if I will!" She screamed. She immediately received a slam from me.

"Fool. Don't. Don't give anything, any details of me." I warned her.

SHe laughed at my reaction again. "You're always so serious, aren't you? I am just kidding around!"

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Who would believe you, you also look like money."

"I will definitely submit you to Fafa Cedrick so you will find what you are looking for." SHe shakes her head.

"Just try it." There was a warning in my voice and I drank water again.

"Why don't you like him? He's handsome, isn't he? Rich. He looks nice. Tall. Handsome. Strong. Macho. Has thick eyelashes and eyebrows. His jaw tightens.

Tall nose bridge. The damn eggplant in his pants seems so long because the bump against his pants is really big! His looks good in bed because you had said so... It's probably good!" She then hit my arm.

I let out a deep breath. "I don't know... I don't know... Maybe... I feel like I'm betraying Trevor." I answered sincerely.

Trevor died without us breaking up. I know he has no plans to break up with me. His love is so sick to me. That's how I feel about him. When he was alive... I never felt the doubt that he was earning something other than the women who surrounded him.

He was too loyal to me to be replaced.

When the afternoon came, I was still staying with Seyah. I'm the only one who pays for what we eat since I'm staying for the mean time. I don't want to go back home because right now Cedrick is looking for me and that news is spreading on all social media platforms since I have a deposit of ten million pesos.

I just shook my head while sweeping. Ten million huh? Do you really think of me like this? That can be priced with money? But... That's a lot of money.

That's a lot of money to waste on me. Why does he want to see me? What is its purpose? Does he want to fight me again because he can't get over sex? Did we enjoy the party the other night?

Is that really the only purpose?

Because if it's true... He's annoying... I'm annoyed. From the articles I read, I still look like a criminal. Not only did he detail what he wanted to happen, the reason why he was looking for me.

Because if that happened... I might even show up to him to save him money. But no... Everything was his purpose and he hid it, but he let my face be made public.

I continued sweeping outside Seyah's house because there was nothing I could do.

I'm still wearing a mask so no one can recognize me. I feel like an actor in my situation. My life has become a mess now because I can't go home, my neighbors know me and maybe they will just give up on me when they find out I'm only inside my house.

I'd rather be here at home where only one person will know me.

I just stopped sweeping when a woman stopped near me and a blanket while looking at my face. He looked back and forth at his cell phone and at me until he looked back at his companion.

"Miss, is that you?" She asked me and showed me the screen of his cellphone.

And there, I saw the article where my image was posted.

My eyes widened slightly and tried not to let them know that I was surprised. I was surprised when they recognized me. I'm all wearing a mask, is my face really this obvious for them to recognize?

"A-Ah, that's not me, maybe it just looks like me." I take a little step back.

The two women's eyebrows met.

"No way?" She was not convinced! I could feel it. No way. I'm... I'm... In a great danger.

"S-She. That's her, sis!" The other woman shouted as if they're so happy.

"Yes!" Both their eyes widened. "We have now 10 Million!" They shouted at the same time.

"Take her a picture quickly!" I don't know who yelled because when I heard that I quickly ran into the house. I gasped and immediately closed the door, I even leaned on it. I was holding my chest in so much nervousness.

I still heard the screams of the two outside the door. "Miss! Miss! Miss!" The door I was leaning against scared me.

"Oh my gosh!" I just prayed in fear.

"Why?! What's going on?" Seyah asked loudly after she hesitated to leave her room. Her hair is still a mess because I know at this time she should be fast asleep but I just disturbed her. Guilt grew inside me.

"Your neighborhood. They know me, Seyah! They're going to push me to Cedrick!" I was panicking and I don't know why I am currently having panic attacks.

God. I am healthy. I am sure that I am healthy. But why is my heart beating so fast because of nervousness? And I know this is not normal. I palpitate too much.

"They! T-They! Fuck! They really are salivating for money!" Seyah's loud shout made my soul flutter. SHe hit the window so hard that it resulted in the two women leaving. I was also nervous and before they left... I even heard them calling the number found in the articles.

So I have no doubt, later or tomorrow... Cedrick will be here.

My eyes widened as I thought about what could happen. No. He shouldn't be able to see me. Our roads should not be allowed to cross anymore. Those things that happened the other night... I didn't like that and I was just drunk. It's just the result of alcohol. The drunkenness of the two of us just stole it.

"I have to go." My wholehearted decision.

So in an instant. I just saw my own using Seyah's helper. SHe helps me fold my clothes to put in the Suitcase. I said don't just fold it because I could mange even if they are rippled out but she insisted so that the clothes I will wear when I come to Australia won't get tangled.

I don't want to stay here anymore. It seems that this country is always blocking our paths with that man. I don't want to, I'm tired. I want to move away and start anew. If I'm going to go and live outside the country, no one will recognize me there, people will be having a hard time finding me, especially Cedrick.

This is the right time for me to completely cut off everything from him.

Maybe it's good for me to learn to live alone. When my heart was empty except for the man I loved last. Except for Trevor. I don't want to feel any sense of betrayal.

I swear by Trevor.

That's all until the end.

I have boarded the plane and am currently in the air. I didn't send Seyah to the airport anymore because we might end up crying. But he said he will be there next month, he will only take care of his paperwork.

I looked at the clouds that I was riding through. Until, I thought of peeking below. And it's full of darkness that will be slightly illuminated by the lights of different establishments that are just stars in my eyes and lips.

I have a lot of memories here. He smiled so much, laughed so much, and now I will leave them. Even my complex memories of Trevor. The pain of losing him.

A sad smile drew on my lips.

"Goodbye. Philippines..." I muttered and a tear escaped off my eyes.